There was just something about this guy. Sam wasn’t exactly sure what it was at first. Sooner or later he’d figure it out. At least he’d hope so, and hope it wasn’t … well he wouldn’t think that just yet. Sam smiled at him for a moment and then quickly squinted his eyes at him. Was he really asking him that? Sam gave his hand one more squeeze before he went back to folding his clothes. “As much of a delight I’m sure Charlie is, I’ve pretty much completely unpacked.” Some clothes and his books, Sam wasn’t one for frivolous things and should he actually have to change rooms he supposed that was a good thing. “What about Charlie’s roommate? Maybe you can just swap us out.” Sam hung his head slightly, pushing past the slight unease he felt at that proposal. It wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to. Not very many people wanted him around. Aside from his grandfather but his failing health was probably going to take him before long and then that’d be it. “I don’t mean to be rude I’m just … “ Sam stopped and turned back to him. “If you really rather have him I’ll go see if there’s a single room available. Guess it’d be better for all parties.”
Maybe he was going about this all wrong, but Kennedy knew that Charlie was uncomfortable with other people and wouldn’t like it being with a stranger. He was actually fearing that the other had been placed in the girl’s dorms. That’d just put Charlie in a bad mood. But they’d requested that they stay together and it annoyed him that he might have to deal with someone else all year. They hadn’t been here long and Charlie had been separated from Kennedy the second they got to the building. He sighed. He probably shouldn’t have asked that. It was sort of rude. He didn’t know Charlie’s roommate. Kennedy sighed. “That was rude, sorry. I’m just worried that Charlie was put in the girl’s dorms,” he sighed. Kennedy plopped down on the bed he supposed was going to be his for the rest of the year. He was nervous now, not having to spend the entire year close to his best friend. “No, it’s fine. I just... have never been away from him for a long period of time and he’s sensitive.” He looked at his roommate. “Let’s start over. Hi, I’m Kennedy Devin.”
It was about the only peace and quiet he’d had all summer. Sam knew that being away at school was only a band-aid for everything else going on but for now he could relax. As far as he knew there wasn’t a soul that knew him here and he was almost hoping to keep it that way. Aside from the roommate he was already slated to have. Sam was in the middle of refolding his clothes properly to put away when the voice came barreling through the room and the man that gave it life. He looked over his shoulder, a bit confused but turned to face him nonetheless. “I mean I could be Charlie if that’s what you want.” He spoke a bit sarcasitically. Maybe now wasn’t the best time for that. “Sorry. I’m Sam. And I’m guessing not who you were expecting.” Sam laid his shirt on the bed and took a step towards the other, raising his hand out to shake. “Looks like you’re stuck with me instead. Promise I won’t be too loud snoring or period I guess.”
Charlie had been a staple in Kennedy’s side for a long time. The only person who had stuck through most everything with him. When Kennedy’s mom died, Charlie was the one by his side. When Kennedy’s mother turned on him, Charlie was there telling him it wasn’t his fault. He loved the other boy so much. Sometimes he thought they could be more than friends, but he didn’t want to ruin his friendship with the boy. They’d been through a lot together, including Charlie’s transition. Kennedy had been looking forward to rooming with his friend. Since they’d basically already designed their room. He heard his phone chirp in his pocket as he noticed the boy -- not his friend -- in the room. “You can’t be Charlie,” Kennedy replied, not hearing the sarcasm. “There’s been a mistake. I’m supposed to be rooming with my friend Charlie.” He didn’t mean to be rude. “Uh, Kennedy,” he said, taking Sam’s hand. “Are you sure you don’t want to switch with my friend Charlie?” he asked.
Kennedy was ready for this year. He’d been looking forward to he and Charlie finally rooming together at school. Even though they lived right beside each other all year -- outside of school and had been next door neighbors last year at school. But now they’d finally be together. He excitedly raced up to his room, hoping that the other boy was already there unpacking, so they could decide where to put all their posters and move the furniture around. He rounded the corner to his room and walked in. “Hello, Charlie!” he exclaimed, looking up to see... well not his best friend. “Uh, you’re not Charlie. Who are you?”
Kennedy was like a storm. He had been since they met and he was certain it’d be that way until they were old and wrinkled. All these plans, the day coming closer and closer and he felt like it was all finally coming together. Perhaps he’d finally let himself be swept up in the storm that was his new life. He only had Kennedy to thank. Though it was rocky getting to this point, he couldn’t have been more happy.
“Maybe that’s why I liked it so much.” He spoke softly, smiling at the swatch. It reminded him of the first time he’d ever met Kennedy. In that tree and in his school robes. That beautiful Ravenclaw blue. That’d be the one and that was one more thing off his list. And something was telling him that it was time to put aside the work for now.
The kiss to his cheek made him blush something fierce and Sam turned his complete attention to Kennedy. He had that look on his face, that anxious look that Sam had come to know usually meant they were about to have a conversation about something he wasn’t sure about. It actually made him smile that he knew that already. And then it made him wonder if he had any ticks that the other two knew about. But that thought was short lived as the words came pouring from Kennedy’s mouth.
Elope? Surely he wasn’t serious; or … or maybe … he was. Sam sat up a bit straighter if only to give him a moment to mull this over. Surely it couldn’t be that easy. He’d never known of a couple actually getting to do that without all of these plans to see through. Was this a muggle thing? It wasn’t as if Sam had any room to speak, he was going to marry a half blood and was already in a relationship with a muggle. It wasn’t something he’d considered at all but ever since he met Kennedy, the choices he’d made weren’t the ones he would have if he cared what others thought of him. That’s the whole reason they were sitting where the were at that moment.
“You’re serious?” He asked after a few moments. It wasn’t that he didn’t know he was, he just needed to hear him say it out loud. But that didn’t matter as Sam was already opening his mouth again. “If … if you … Kennedy I don’t need all of this. I don’t.” It felt like a weight was being lifted. Sam was pushing so hard to get this done so they could finally be together without any worry. “I just need you.” He smiled and leaned in to his partner. His hands cupped his face and Sam kissed Kennedy so softly. “I need you. All of this other stuff can wait. If this is what you want then yes.”
Kennedy thought that he prided himself on being predictable and he could be. But it seemed like he was unpredictable when he was around Sam. He was spontaneous and sometimes that didn’t always work in his favor, but sometimes it did. He hadn’t planned to say anything about eloping this afternoon, the subject seemed to just roll off his tongue naturally. If that was the case, then perhaps well… that’s what he wanted. It was what he always wanted. Sam and Charlie and a life that was unpredictable. Because a predictable life was boring and Kennedy hated being boring. Sam was beautiful and Kennedy loved watching him work. The wedding planning was stressing the both of them out, but Kennedy was thankful that Sam just agreed to eloping.
There was something about the way Sam was looking at him that made him incredibly happy. If only Charlie was here too, then Kennedy would feel absolutely, beyond a shadow of a doubt happy. He smiled when Sam agreed. All he ever wanted was to be married to Sam. He didn’t care about the wedding details or anything else he just wanted Sam. And well – Charlie. And he had both of those people in his life. Life really did want a person to be happy. Kennedy was finally getting his fairytale life. The life that his mothers should have gotten before Delia got sick. The wedding would still happen. Patrick made sure that Kennedy knew it was going to happen. At least to appease the company, but Kennedy knew that he didn’t have to wait that long to actually get married.
“I’m serious. I’ve never been more serious about anything.” Kennedy looked at Sam, a gleam in his eyes. “I don’t need this. I’ve never needed this. I’ve always just wanted you. And, um, well Charlie. But the big fancy wedding, that doesn’t matter to me. It doesn’t matter. I love you so much.” Kennedy really loved the boy in front of him. “I want the big fancy wedding at some point, but not right now. Right now I just want you. I know that you’re, um, going to ask if Charlie’s okay with it. I think he’s alright with it. I mean… I think he’ll be okay with it. He wanted to wait for us to get married before he had sex with you and, um, he won’t… nevermind. This just makes me seem like I want sex. But, I mean, I do.” Kennedy blushed.
Kennedy was like a storm. He had been since they met and he was certain it’d be that way until they were old and wrinkled. All these plans, the day coming closer and closer and he felt like it was all finally coming together. Perhaps he’d finally let himself be swept up in the storm that was his new life. He only had Kennedy to thank. Though it was rocky getting to this point, he couldn’t have been more happy.
“Maybe that’s why I liked it so much.” He spoke softly, smiling at the swatch. It reminded him of the first time he’d ever met Kennedy. In that tree and in his school robes. That beautiful Ravenclaw blue. That’d be the one and that was one more thing off his list. And something was telling him that it was time to put aside the work for now.
The kiss to his cheek made him blush something fierce and Sam turned his complete attention to Kennedy. He had that look on his face, that anxious look that Sam had come to know usually meant they were about to have a conversation about something he wasn’t sure about. It actually made him smile that he knew that already. And then it made him wonder if he had any ticks that the other two knew about. But that thought was short lived as the words came pouring from Kennedy’s mouth.
Elope? Surely he wasn’t serious; or … or maybe … he was. Sam sat up a bit straighter if only to give him a moment to mull this over. Surely it couldn’t be that easy. He’d never known of a couple actually getting to do that without all of these plans to see through. Was this a muggle thing? It wasn’t as if Sam had any room to speak, he was going to marry a half blood and was already in a relationship with a muggle. It wasn’t something he’d considered at all but ever since he met Kennedy, the choices he’d made weren’t the ones he would have if he cared what others thought of him. That’s the whole reason they were sitting where the were at that moment.
“You’re serious?” He asked after a few moments. It wasn’t that he didn’t know he was, he just needed to hear him say it out loud. But that didn’t matter as Sam was already opening his mouth again. “If … if you … Kennedy I don’t need all of this. I don’t.” It felt like a weight was being lifted. Sam was pushing so hard to get this done so they could finally be together without any worry. “I just need you.” He smiled and leaned in to his partner. His hands cupped his face and Sam kissed Kennedy so softly. “I need you. All of this other stuff can wait. If this is what you want then yes.”
Kennedy used to be predictable. When he was with Charlie he was predictable. But with Sam it was a different story. He did things that he didn’t think he’d be comfortable with, but he was starting to like being unpredictable. He wasn’t just the Ravenclaw boy that liked birds and books. Now he was someone’s boyfriend and someone’s soon to be husband. It wasn’t the future that he thought he’d have, but it was the future that he wanted and nothing else. Kennedy was happy. More happy than he’d ever been before in his life and he didn’t want to do or say anything that he thought would compromise that. All he wanted was to talk to Sam about flowers, but watching him made Kennedy not want to wait any more. He wanted to be married tomorrow. He loved Sam so much. Kennedy wanted a wedding so badly, but if it was stressing out Sam, then it wasn’t worth it. The wedding didn’t have to be perfect.
“Yeah?” He replied, wrapping his arm around Sam. He loved how Sam’s touch made him feel. Like he was comfortable. Sam made him feel comfortable. Charlie was perfect and Sam was perfect and he just wanted to spend the rest of his life with them. Although Charlie made it clear that he didn’t want to get married right now, otherwise, the wedding would include him. He wanted to be with Sam now. More than anything else. He loved Sam. The wedding was going to happen, but he was hoping that it would happen after they eloped. Kennedy just wondered if he would be able to convince Sam.
Eloping wasn’t the plan they’d decided on in December. But a lot of things that happened since then hadn’t gone according to plan. He wanted nothing more than for the boy in his arms to just be happy. He didn’t need a wedding. Kennedy had never needed a wedding. He just needed Sam. He had always just needed Sam. Kennedy just cared about having the boys of his dreams. He wanted to elope, even if everyone else said that was a bad idea. Kennedy didn’t need anything more than just the few people that he loved being there when he got married. He just wanted Sam, Patrick, Charlie, his mum, and Charlie’s family there. Those were the people that he loved more than anything else. Just like the boy in his arms.
“Yeah, I’m serious. I… well – all I need is you. I don’t need this. I’ve never needed this. I’ve always just wanted to be married to you. I’ve never wanted the big fancy wedding. I love you so much.” He was stressed about the wedding in general. He had no idea how much Sam was stressing since he was doing more work than anyone else. He looked at Sam. “I love you,” he replied, pulling away from the kiss. “I don’t know why we didn’t just get married the second I got back.” Kennedy knew why, but he hoped that Sam wouldn’t bring it up. “I’m not saying that we don’t have a big fancy wedding. We have to show off Charlie, but for now, I just want to be married to you now. I love you so much.”
It seemed as though the wedding was creeping up faster than Sam even realized. The three of them had been so blissfully happy the last few weeks that time had seemed to become a relative term. And for once … he was actually happy. It wasn’t like anything he’d anticipated would come into his life … and still learning about the both of them proved to be exactly what Sam needed. And to be needed by them both was another feeling entirely.
He wasn’t even sure how long he’d been sitting there staring at swatches before he realized he wasn’t alone in the room any longer. Sam didn’t even have to turn around to know Kennedy was with him. His fiance had a very warm aroma to him, like he’d been carefully kept in between the books he loved so much. A small smile turned up on his lips and he held up two blue swatches. Not that he could tell the difference and he was certain that Kennedy couldn’t either. He just couldn’t figure out which one he liked more. Or he just liked that he was going to give his fiance a rather difficult time. At least for a moment anyway.
“I can’t tell which one of these matches your eyes better.” He spoke, still facing away from Kennedy. If he’d seen the smile, the whole childish charade would have fizzled out as quickly as it came to him. “I think the one on the right but there’s just … I dunno there’s just something about this left one that just gets me.”
Slowly he turned round in his chair, having the confidence he’d mastered a calm expression to face Kennedy with.
“Which do you think? We haven’t got all that long and I want this perfect.”
Kennedy hadn’t been sure that the wedding was going to happen after what he’d done with Charlie, but somehow Sam was still willing to marry him. He was thankful. Kennedy wasn’t completely sure he could live without Sam and he’d have done anything to keep Sam happy, including never talking to Charlie again, even if that hurt him in the process. But luckily it seemed that things were going to work out. He’d been so happy with Charlie and Sam. Dating Charlie was everything he wanted and more. Plus he loved Sam so much. For once, Kennedy was completely happy with his life. Everything seemed to be going perfectly and he was grateful. He hoped that they would only continue to grow in their relationship because Sam and Charlie were the only thing he’d ever truly loved.
There was still so much to do before the wedding. Most of Kennedy’s day was taken up with small preparations. The day was drawing nearer and nearer. Kennedy was stressing. Luckily being around the people he loved helped him not feel anxiety about the wedding. He felt bad for Charlie because it was just he and Sam that were getting married, but Charlie made sure that he and Sam knew that he wasn’t ready for marriage yet. He was perfectly happy with being with the two of them when they were married because he trusted that they were still going to feel the same about him when they were married. Which was true. Kennedy would make sure that they would still include Charlie in everything. He was sure that Sam felt the same way as well. After all, they had feelings for each other and those wouldn’t disappear just because Kennedy was married.
He was trying to find Sam to ask a few questions regarding flowers, but he hadn’t managed to see the boy anywhere. His house was far too large. After an hour, Kennedy managed to find Sam. He watched his future husband-to-be focusing on his own wedding preparations and it was adorable. He was holding different swatches and trying to decide which one he liked best. Kennedy watched for a moment before walking closer. Sam still didn’t notice him, but that was okay because Sam was adorable. He felt his heart beat quickening; he was sure Sam could hear how loud his heart was beating. Then Sam started to speak. Kennedy walked up closer so he could see what Sam was working on.
“They’re both pretty, but the one on the right... It’s Ravenclaw blue,” he replied, sitting down beside Sam. Kennedy leaned over and gave Sam a kiss on the cheek. He vaguely wondered why they were spending so much on this wedding, until he realised that he was the reason they were. He could get married to Sam tomorrow and be completely happy. The ceremony could just be the two of them, Charlie, his mum, Patrick, and the Logans and Kennedy would be happy. There wasn’t need for some big celebration. He was already happy with his life. He was happy with Sam and Charlie. “I love you,” he whispered, just needing to be beside his love. “Let’s just get married tomorrow. We can go down to the courthouse and marry. Then we can have a formal ceremony when we finish preparations. Marry me tomorrow. I can’t wait any longer.”
Cursed. Every Sprightling had grown up with the same story about their people, but cursed didn’t begin to describe Aera Swiftfoot. Growing up, everyone always said that there was something wrong with Aera, something off. But it was always cast aside because there was so much more to do than question the young child. The Swiftfoot clan mostly stuck to themselves, except when it benefited them. They stole, cheated, lied, and tricked people. Just like the curse stated about the sprightlings said. Aera was different, from a young age, they found comfort in finding peaceful methods of interacting with others – rather than the harsh interactions of the rest of their people. Cursed – people said about them. They were born into the wrong race. Too kind, too friendly, and born to parents that were cruel.
Aera’s parents, Zip and Ceil Swiftfoot, had somewhat of a reputation for being cruel and angry. They were the third born child and the baby of the Swiftfoot clan. Aera’s parents were the leader of their clan and they wanted their children to learn the nature of their people – the spite and hate that the sprightlings were supposed to feel. But Aera had always been unlike the rest of the people. From a young age, Aera’s parents ignored them. They hoped that eventually Aera would grow out of their kind phase, but by the age of three, their parents realized it wasn’t a phase. There was just something wrong with Aera. So they became cruel and abusive to their child, hoping that they could teach them to be like them.
It didn’t take long for Aera to catch onto things. If they acted bad, their parents left them alone, but whenever they were good – that’s when things got scary. They spent most of their time mirroring their older siblings. Whatever they did, Aera followed. Stealing, lying, and cheating was what their siblings did, so that’s what they did. There was internal conflict because it was apparent to them that this was wrong – acting like this was immoral. But it beat getting abused by their parents. For four years that’s what they did.
At the age of seven, nearing their adulthood, Aera was meant to prove that they had learned how to be cruel and weren’t just pretending. They were meant to kill someone, a holy man named Lorcor Rhistan that was in a nearby town. Aera got there and befriended the man to get close to him. The more Aera learned about him, the more they learned about the man. He had a family and friends. How were they supposed to kill someone that had people that relied on them? But in their mind, they heard their parent’s cruel words. And so – they stabbed the man, killing hm. His final words: “I forgive you.”
It was those words that made them want to change. Forgiveness? Redemption? Was it possible? Aera didn’t know, but it was worth considering. The young sprightling did a bit of research, sneaking off whenever they could to learn about the gods, paths of redemption, and forgiveness. Aera found the path of redemption they wanted to take. They had taken a life and they wouldn’t do that anymore, except the truly evil. There was a goddess that Aera had learned about, who believed in what they were learning. But little did they know, their parents knew what they were up to. When Aera pledged themself to Sarenrae, their parents knew and for it, they were exiled from their people.
In exile, Aera decided to have a new start in life, they adopted a new name: Rain. They decided to journey to a larger city in order to learn more about the cleric’s family.
Nikolas Thornbrush met Maren Honeybee travelling with their families. They quickly took a liking to each other and spent the better half of their young lives together. Eventually the two got married, settling down in Thornhold. Nikolas became a fisherman and Maren opened a bakery for the small village I her own home. The two lived a happy and calm life and within a few years, they birthed their first child, Nicola. She was followed by Anderson a year later. Then came the twins Nico and Maureen. Only a year later after the birth of their last child, Cressandra. Nikolas’s brother and his wife passed away leaving their child, Welby in the hands of the rather full house of the Thornbrush family. However, as cramped as they were, they were a happy family. Nikolas spent as much time at home as he could and was adored by his children, and the same could be said for Maren.
The Early Years
Although Nico and Maureen were born at the same time, they were nothing alike. Where Nico was outgoing and loved to be outside, Maureen was quiet and loved to read. Maureen never spoke unless someone spoke to her, whereas half the time people couldn’t get Nico to shut up. Maureen was not easily distracted like her brother and spent long hours reading and writing. She was fascinated by the world of magic and read as many books as she could get her hands on about magic. Nico on the other hand, loved the outdoors. He spent many days with his father out on a boat learning how to fish in all sorts of weather. With groups of his friends, Nico would explore the woods and pretend they were lost in the woods and had to find their own food or pretending to fight dragons or saving the world from evil. Although Nico had no want to leave his family to travel, he still loved the vastness of the world, finding different parts of the world interesting. He didn’t care about their histories, as his sister did, but the environment itself. The rest of his family was much calmer and while Nico seemed to have a want to save the world from a great evil and had a great want to help people who were in need. He learned early on how to be a productive member of society. His father instilled a sense of good and evil in him at a young age – breaking the law was never good, Nico’s father would tell him. It was better for Nico to stand up for what he believed in than to let someone get away with being unfair to someone based on who or what they were. Nico’s father taught him to respect all life. Nico grew into a good young child, believing that being himself was far more important than caving to the society around him. Still he believed that he had something great in his destiny that he still had yet to face. He kept those dreams to himself, only telling them to one person: Maureen. His sister was the person he trusted most in life and as she grew up beside him, the differences between them could be seen by almost everyone in town.
Nearing the age of nine his life changed for the better when he met one of his sister’s close friends, a Halfling that she often hung out with and spent lots of time talking about books. Maureen had been friends with the boy for almost three years, but still hadn’t managed to bring him home to meet the rest of the family. She talked about him with admiration to Nico, though he still never met his sister’s closest friend. Until one day, she finally brought him home to meet the rest of the family. Eero Tealeaf, his sister introduced him to the family. He was a timid and shy boy, Nico thought, but gave a small smile and went outside to join his friends after dinner. When his friends left for the evening and Nico came home, Eero was still there, reading in the candlelight with Maureen. Eventually he closed his book and decided he ought to go home. On a whim, Nico decided to walk Eero home. At first there was a bit of awkward silence between the two of them, but then Nico started to talk and didn’t stop until Eero got home. That became the ritual for the two of them, Eero would come over, read with Maureen until late, and Nico would talk while the two of them would walk back home.
It was almost five months before Eero talked to Nico. Even around Maureen he didn’t seem to speak much. Nico was shocked at first, but then the more that they hung around each other the more Eero seemed to open up around him. It took almost a year, but Eero quickly became the only other person besides Maureen that he’d tell everything to. Eero was there for Nico’s first inevitable heartbreak and the broken bone he got from racing in the woods with his friends. The two became a steady pair; one was hardly seen without the other. It wasn’t long before Nico realized that he was in love with Eero, though he didn’t know exactly what to do about his feelings. Especially since he was almost certain that Maureen liked Eero as well. Nico was fourteen when he eventually decided to console Maureen about his feelings, almost two whole years after discovering it himself. Much to his surprise, she had no feelings for the boy and even if she did, she seemed to know that she wasn’t his type. Maureen urged Nico to confess his feelings if he truly felt that way. Enough stories ended with people in love never actually ever able to confess their love for someone and she didn’t want that to be Nico’s fate. After a few weeks of constantly hearing Maureen tell him to do something about it, Nico finally took Eero aside and explained his feelings. To his surprise, the other boy felt the same way – almost since the beginning – about Nico. From that moment on they were always together, rarely apart, and in love with each other.
The Late Teens
Though most of the Thornbrush siblings had a lot in common with each other, Maureen was the oddball out in her want to go out and explore all the places she’d read about in her life. She lacked the desire to stay in one place for the rest of her life. From an early age, she used books as an escape for the side of her that wanted to see and study the world. She would always go to Waterdeep when anyone from the village would take a trip. Nico didn’t understand that at first, but he had his own adventures in the woods and on the water, so he came to understand Maureen’s want to go do something. When Maureen was seventeen, Eero, Nico and Maureen traveled to Waterdeep to have some fun. Maureen and Eero were in search of books, whereas Nico begrudgingly went along to be around his two favorite people. He stood outside the book shop while the two shopped. After about an hour, Nico had started to get bored and ran straight into a human that was walking into the shop as well. Nico apologized and ran off to find Maureen and Eero. It took some prodding, but eventually Nico convinced his sister and boyfriend to leave the shop. While paying for the few books that Maureen had picked up, she struck up a conversation with the man that Nico had run into on the way in the store. Eventually, she told Eero and Nico to go ahead and head back, she was going to stay in Waterdeep for another day. They both agreed and headed back to the village.
Upon Mareen’s return to the town, she explained that the man she’d met was a wizard and he had been looking for a new apprentice. After talking to Maureen for a few minutes, he had offered her a job as his apprentice. The rest of the family seemed a bit wary of the story, but right away Nico acted proud of his sister. She had always wanted to see the world and learn all she could learn. Their older sister Nicola and older brother Anderson both had bright futures ahead of them already. Anderson had learned the ways of fishing and was almost ready to buy a house for his future wife – a young gnome that he had met a few years ago. Nicola helped out with the bakery and was saving money to buy a store front for the bakery, rather than it just being run out of the house. Maureen and Nico were close to being considered adults and needed to begin to figure out what they wanted to do. Nico took his sister aside and told her that she should follow her dream. She’d told him the same when he told her about his feelings for Eero. With her brother’s approval, Maureen packed up her things and headed back to Waterdeep only to leave for Candlekeep a few months later.
Despite not having his twin around all the time, Nico was proud of her. All of his siblings had something to be proud of and Nico loved his family with all his might. He began to think about his future, but had no idea the direction that he wanted to go. Nico liked fishing, but it was not his passion. He yearned for letters from his sister where she would go into great detail about what she was learning and the people that she’d surrounded herself with. Nico was proud that she was happy. He was happy that she was happy. And he was happy himself. There was nothing about his life that he felt like he needed or wanted to change.
His eighteenth birthday was tough without Maureen there to share the celebration with him. Eero did what he could to cheer Nico up and of course it worked. Since Maureen’s departure, Nico had been spending a lot more time with Eero. Each day, Nico spent with Eero, the more in love he became with the other. He barely noticed that people talked about the two of them holding hands in public. Nico didn’t notice that people seemed to tease him about being in love with Eero. The meaning of all of it going straight over his head. While Nico didn’t notice, Eero did. It bothered him that people would treat anyone that way. A month after Nico’s birthday, he and Eero were walking down the street on a rather dark winter evening when a group of people tried to attack them. Springing into action, Nico fought them off. They weren’t part of the town, but had been trying to rob them of their money. Luckily, Nico was able to make them run away before they could steal anything of value – not that Nico had anything of value to begin with. He had less than five gold on him. Though that just made him more cautious about being outside. He knew that anyone could turn evil if it wanted to, but Nico was concerned that his loved ones would get hurt somehow and he needed to be the ones to protect them.
The Streetfighter
Nico had no real way of learning to fight off people that tried to hurt the people he loved, so he did whatever he could to train himself to fight. He borrowed swords from people around town and started to teach himself how to use it. Nico wanted to be ready when any situation arose. Occasionally, he would read a few books to ready himself in case of an attack of any sort – that was still boring and Nico found it difficult to learn that way. But the biggest thing Nico did was street fighting. At the age of nineteen, Nico slowly began to learn the ways of street fighting. He didn’t tell anyone at first – even Maureen and Eero. However, after a couple of months of his training and getting to know the ways of street fighting, Nico explained what he was doing. Everyone in his family seemed to be appalled at what he was doing. The Thornbrushes had always been taught to use words instead of fists to defuse a situation – and while Nico still believed in that, he knew that some fights just weren’t able to be won by words, some had to be fought with action.
He might not have been the best fighter of all times, but he began to get the hang of it after a while. Nico hated fighting for no reason. He knew that protecting the people that he loved was far more important than anything else. Eventually, everyone in the family seemed to warm up to the idea. The rest of the family all had something that made them special at least in Nico’s eyes. Nicola was a cook, Anderson was a fisher, Maureen was intelligent, Cress was fond of nature and could pretty much keep anything alive that she wanted, even Welby was becoming a great baker. Nico felt like the only thing that really defined him was that he believed that being prepared for anything was the most important thing a person could do. He wanted to learn to fight in case he’d need something. Deep in his gut, Nico knew that he wouldn’t stay in the village his whole life. He felt destined for something greater, he just didn’t know what that was yet and that scared him more than anything else. Being around his family was one of the only things that kept Nico alive on a daily basis. Being apart from them would be difficult, but he would do it if he had to save the world from a great evil or if he knew that they were in danger in anyway.
The Storm and the Aftermath
Nico was barely two weeks over twenty when the disaster happened. A storm raged through the town, threatening to tear apart everything that the town’s people had spent their time building. About a couple minutes into the storm, Nico thought everyone might not be safe and decided to go out in the storm to families he believed might not be as prepared as his family was for a situation like this. His parents warned him not to go out in the storm in case something happened to him; they would have been devastated if he died. Though Nico knew that he wouldn’t be able to live unless he did everything he could to protect the people in his town. He eventually came across a family that was stuck inside their house. Nico saved them and brought them back to his house, which still managed to be intact. The Thornbrush house remained one of the few houses that didn’t get torn down during the storm.
While the storm raged, Nico did his best to make sure that everyone in town got the help that they needed. Nico helped a few families and kept the casualties down to a minimum – just four people died during the storm. As much of a feat that was, Nico still felt he could have saved everyone if he’d left sooner. Nevertheless, he was not the reason that those four people died, he wished deep down that he could have saved them all from the storm. There would be a lot of rebuilding to do after the storm ended. It seemed like days before the rain and wind cleared enough for people to see the damage to the town. The damage was quite great for a small town. Much of the town had been flattened by the winds. Most of the houses and buildings needed at least a few repairs. Nico was praised by the town for the work he did to save the people in the town. He still believed that he was doing what was best for his town and was humble about the praise he was getting from the townspeople.
Since the town began to be busy with rebuilding, Nico decided it was as good of a time as ever to go and earn some money and perhaps find a few people to help rebuild the town from the storm. He wanted money to build a house that he and Eero could live in when they got older. Eventually, he planned on the two of them getting married and being happy for the rest of their lives, which always made him smile. It scared Nico to go out into the world by himself, but he was determined to make money fairly – as he refused to take money from his neighbors for helping out with rebuilding the town. Nico left for Waterdeep, hoping to find a job of some sort there, so he might still be close enough to home that he would be able to go back and visit often. After a while, he found a job as a guard for a caravan trip to Baulder’s Gate. Travelling was not his favorite thing in the world, but he would earn a decent bit of money from the trip – from what seemed like decent people at least – and that was important to him. Saying goodbye to his family and the love of his life, Nico set out on an adventure of his own. He planned to go to Candlekeep to visit Maureen for a bit, but when he got to Baulder’s Gate, he was quite homesick and decided to turn back around and head back home. Nico missed his sister quite a bit, but he missed Eero and his family too. Maureen at least did her best to visit at least three times a year. He got hired for a journey back to Waterdeep, knowing that he would be home soon to see his loved ones. Unfortunately, he had a feeling that his adventures weren’t exactly over, but kept that secret to himself.
Ellywick grew up in a small town on the outskirts of a forest. She was the middle child of seven children in a family that was rather large. From a young age, she liked lurking in the background, as she was usually surrounded by a large amount of gnomes. In fact, on a good day there were no less than ten gnomes in her household. Her parents both focused on Elly’s younger and older siblings, making her even more of an outcast in her family. Not that she even minded, she hated being the center of attention. Out of all the members of her family, only did she truly care about her younger sister, Isadira. Dira and Wick could rarely be separated. Elly watched her siblings grow up, doing various things, though most of her siblings decided to stay around town, working in various shops and helping the family out. However, even as a child, Elly wanted to see the world. Though it was custom for most gnomes to at least venture out, none of her family seemed to have the wanderlust that she seemed to possess.
Around the age of sixteen, Elly befriended a criminal within town. The name sent frowns on the faces of everyone who lived there because they knew just what sort of person he was. Elly found him endearing to say the least. He began to teach her the ways of stealing from people and everything he knew about pulling cons on people, which was not a lot. It was a thrilling feeling to be able to put her hand into a pocket and pull out all the coins someone was carrying around. Though the rest of the town seemed to harbor a hatred for him, Elly felt that he was the only other person who she connected to other than her younger sister. She had always been in the shadows, stealing matched that need for being unseen in a world that wanted her to be in the background so badly. Throughout the years, Elly grew the need and want to prove that she was just as worthy of the spotlight as the rest of her siblings.
As she grew up, she grew hungry to leave her town and get away from her family, her criminal friend told her of a great thief who could teach her beyond what he knew that lived in Baldur’s Gate. At the young age of seventeen, she left home to find him and was eventually found him. He agreed to teach her everything that he knew of conning, thus a relationship was formed between the two of them. Sal taught Elly the art of conning and learned to be a master at deception and lying. Although as she learned more and more about her mentor, she quickly found out that she would not be praised for her abilities. Sal remained cold and aloof, no matter what Elly did right. She could perfectly pick a lock within ten seconds and Sal treated her as if a child could do better. The next ten years, Elly sought after his praise, doing everything in her power to show she could be as great as Sal himself.
Although Elly left home and quit talking to most members of her family, as she grew in Baldur’s Nest, she made sure to keep an eye on her sister. For the first six years, it was at a distance, watching her grow up to be her own age when she left home. Elly wanted to make sure that Dira was happy with her life. She was twenty three the first time she made legitimate contact with Dira for the first time. Throughout the years, Elly has kept a close eye on Dira, finding her own contacts to keep an eye on the one family member Elly will do anything to protect. Her resources were not as vast as Sal’s are, but she slowly gathered a small group of people that she would use to keep an eye on the people and happenings around town.
When Elly turned thirty seven, she learned of a magical item – a wand – that was powerful. Through her contacts she also learned that her childhood friend Talis had disappeared and might have been kidnapped. Although her contact was quite unsure of all the details and much of it was rumor, Elly thought that she might could use the magic item to save Talis or it would help her gain more power. When she confronted Sal about stealing the item, he warned her not to, saying it was far too dangerous and she was not ready. Eager to prove once and for all that she was just as great as Sal, Elly decided not to heed his warning and steal the item. On the day she planned to steal it, Sal showed up, saying he really wished she would listen to him. Elly still did not listen to him. Instead, she went to steal the item, with a team of people at her disposal, but she quickly found out Sal was right and things went south quickly, unbeknown to her the reasons as to why. Sal had followed Elly and the second before things got too far out of hand, sacrificed himself to make sure she got away from the danger. Elly barely escaped with her life and quickly fled town. She hoped that she could save Talis before going back to help Sal.
Alternate Persona:
Waterdeep
11 year old human ( ethnicity: Damaran )
Family died in a fire four years ago
Seven/Eight at the time of the fire
Convinced that someone set fire to the mansion and that my life is in danger
Thus far pretended to be a smol orphan child living on the streets
Malnourished, so growth has been stunted
God: Oghma, god of knowledge ( symbol: blank scroll )
Name: Duke Thorsten Wiciyan Tesalen III
The Tesalen family was a kindly noble family. At the lower end of the nobles, they had a fair amount of money, but were not the richest of nobles. Most of their business was conducted in Waterdeep. Thorsten Wiciyan the third was born in Waterdeep and mainly stayed with his mother and older sister. One day, he would take over the family business and he would soon learn everything he needed to know. Life was simple for him, but he never wanted for anything. Everything that he could ever want was provided for him.
At the young age of seven, a tragic fire consumed the Tesalen family household. Thorsten’s governess sacrificed herself to save him from the fire and the last thing he saw before bursting out of the fiery house was a hooded man. He fled the scene, tears streaming down his face and the loss of his family. Thorsten then became an orphan, fending for himself on the streets with a new identity in order to conceal who he actually was from the rest of the world. He was convinced that someone killed his family and that what he saw wasn’t just from his imagination.
Three years later, he’s learned a lot about survival on the streets. He’s decided to go after the people that killed his family so he could reclaim his family’s land and his title. He heard some rumors that some information might rest in Greenest and was going to find information about that. When he arrived, he found that a dragon was attacking. Although he his hesitant to trust the people that he is currently working with, he believes that they might be the best chance to help him find out what happened to his family. And also, if he slays a dragon, surely he can slay the person that killed his family and doesn’t need to be afraid of them anymore.
From here on out it was all new territory. The fact he was even entertaining such an outlandish idea was beyond who Samuel Warwick was. But as the two walked down the hall back to the blond boy at the heart of this new sense of their life … he realized that he wasn’t just a Warwick. He’d be a Devin and maybe even … well he wouldn’t get that far ahead of himself. The point was that he wasn’t here to please anyone else other than himself and the now boys that he cared for. He swore that hallway elongated itself just to appease his thoughts so he could be in a somewhat calm headspace by the time they got to where they were headed.
Thankfully seeing Charlie eased his mind more.
Sam watched closely as the two interacted. Delia stretched and scampered down along Charlie’s legs, shooting the three of them a displeased look before returning back to her slumber. The entire scenario was ridiculous but as he observed, any doubt he could have possibly had was dissipating as quickly as it had ventured into his head. Though he wouldn’t lie, seeing Kennedy intimate on that level with another wads hard to stomach. It was another adjustment they all would have to come to terms with.
The boy squeezed Kennedy’s had tightly, a slight blush spreading over his face when Kennedy spoke his name. His eyes found Charlie’s and he smiled softly. He knew the more calm he remained the smoother this would go for all of them, especially for Charlie. “I’m sorry your nap wasn’t longer.” He spoke softly. Sam had known poor Charlie was past exhausted and he’d honestly expected he and Kennedy’s conversation to have taken longer but it seemed that things weren’t going to be as ‘normal’ as he had anticipated in the short time he’d even allowed himself to like the idea.
Sam slowly sunk down onto the floor next to the sofa. His hand lightly brushed Charlie’s hair back and he smiled softly to Kennedy. “I think there’s a few things the three of us need to discuss.” Not that he’d planned on doing it then and there. For now he just wanted to be in their presence. To allow himself to just be immersed in what would be his new normal. “But for tonight I think it’s best we all get ourselves settled, fed and relaxed.”
A gentle squeeze of Kennedy’s hand and Sam motioned to Charlie. “If you two are alright with that? Or we can talk. I just … I don’t know.” Sam bit his lip lightly and sighed, settling in against the piece of furniture. “I feel like such a school child right now.” He admitted softly under his breath. And it was true. It was all the butterflies and warm fuzzies he’d experienced multiplied by a thousand and somehow Sam was completely and more than okay with it.
For Kennedy, what was happening between the three of them was not something he expected at all. Although it had become something that he wanted and would have begged Sam to try, this was happening on their own. He half wondered if Sam was just saying that he had feelings for Charlie because he wanted Kennedy to be happy and he thought that would do it, or if he actually had feelings for the other boy. In Kennedy’s opinion, it was difficult to hate Charlie. He was beautiful and kind and sweet and was too good for hm. Kennedy had a responsible for the two boys that he was now, well hopefully, in a relationship. He couldn’t speak for the other two, but he was excited about it. He loved both of them and being near Charlie and Sam was completely calming to him. The blond boy sleeping hurt his chest with the amount of love that he had in his chest.
The boy kept a hand on Charlie’s hand and one on Sam’s as they stayed there. Kennedy wanted to have a conversation with the two of them to make sure that they were all on the same page and they all wanted to be in a relationship. He didn’t think there would be any problems with it, but he wanted to be completely sure. There were just too many factors that Charlie might not be comfortable with. “You’re very cute, Charlie,” he muttered. Kennedy wanted to kiss Charlie a million times – he wanted to kiss Charlie as many times as he’d kissed Sam, though he had no idea how many times they’d kissed.
He watched Charlie sat up slowly, stretching lazily. The blond smiled at Sam – melting Kennedy’s heart even further. “It’s okay,” he yawned. Charlie was going to have to get a good rest tonight, but he also was fine with spending time with Sam and Kennedy. The former Ravenclaw took a seat beside his best friend and Charlie leaned against his shoulder. He beckoned Sam to sit beside him. He was thinking about the conversation that the three of them needed to have and no doubt Sam was thinking about it too. The three of them needed to have that conversation when they were all less emotional. Kennedy was thinking about what he’d done. He was sure the other two were lost in thought as well.
“I think food is probably a good idea. I don’t know about anything else. What… are we doing about sleeping arrangements?” Kennedy looked at Sam. It was up to Sam. Kennedy didn’t know if the three of them would be able to sleep in the same room right away. Or maybe Charlie needed to be alone. Or Sam needed to be alone. It was going to be fragile between them for a while, but Kennedy knew the end would be a loving relationship. He looked at the two of them and smiled. “Oh, uh, talking should probably wait until tomorrow. I think. I don’t… Charlie’s really tired.” The blond was awake, but barely, leaning against his shoulder with his eyes closed.
“Sam? If you’ll… Charlie? I can call and have food brought here. Or to the room. Or something? It doesn’t matter to me. I guess we shouldn’t eat in the library. Uh, I’m not sure. I don’t know what… we should, uh, do? Does anyone have preferences?”
“One, calm down, Kennedy. Two, we can eat downstairs. I’m fine.”
There were questions than there were answers and for the foreseeable future that was how it was going to remain. Oddly enough Sam was alright with that. For the first time in his life he was okay with uncertainty and if he were being honest the thrill of all of this was fueling it. It wasn’t a thought he’d ever entertained before but then again he also didn’t see himself not graduating from Hogwarts and engaged to someone of his own choosing. There were a lot of new things in this life he’d selected for himself and the more he dove into it … the more he was beginning to feel like an actual person.
All he wanted was an apology. He knew Kennedy wasn’t as comfortable with them as Sam was but it meant the world to him. There wasn’t any taking back what happened, on either of their parts but there was the aftermath and how they’d deal with it. As long as he felt he could trust the both of them to be honest about this then everything could be okay. So far the trust aspect was a bit weakened but he also had faith that now that everything was in the open it could start to be built back up. Feeling Kennedy around him made him feel normal than he’d felt in hours. “I’m sorry too.” He spoke softly. It wasn’t just Kennedy that’d slipped up and while he wasn’t going to dive into the severity of each, an apology on both their parts was deserved for the other. “I don’t expect you to be perfect. I just want you to be who you are.” As of now he’d accepted every part there was of Kennedy and he knew there were years ahead filled with even more tid-bits and stories. For now he’d settle for this moment as assurance they’d get there.
“I will promise to try. I can’t promise it’ll always be as easy as this but I want to try.” Though the knot was still in his gut he didn’t feel badly about confessing that he too wanted to see if Charlie was in fact their missing piece. He hadn’t even paused to think if that were a possibility. Sam was incredibly happy with Kennedy and the time Charlie and he had spent together was rather fantastic. Both were extremely handsome and kind to him in ways he couldn’t even fathom. “As long as we’re always all on the same page about this then I think it’ll be okay. And I promise to try to not be so jealous.” That in itself would be a feat but Sam also knew he could come to the both of them in a time of weakness like that. “I like Charlie. He’s very attractive and he’s very sweet. I haven’t really had a chance to spend time with him and talk about him or anything but what I do know I like.”
Sam smiled softly, bringing his hands up to clean Kennedy’s cheeks from any tears. “I guess it’s true that first impressions aren’t always correct.” He was hoping to get a small chuckle but he’d settle for no more tears on his love’s face. He nodded to his question. “I’m okay. Confused and still a bit stung but I’m okay and I will be.” Whether Kennedy realized it or not he was the reason why he felt so strong. Even in a weak point Sam clung to him, he took comfort in his safe place. Perhaps it’d be possible for Charlie to maybe be another. He wouldn’t get ahead of himself before the three had spoken on this but he had a good feeling.
“Charlie’s asleep in the library.” Sam told him, stealing one last glance at the painting. He’d have to remember to come back and have a conversation with Delia and thank her for her son. “If you’re ready to we can go now. I don’t know if we can wake him though. He was pretty exhausted when I got him to lay down.” Sam brushed back Kennedy’s hair from his face and smiled warmly at him. “I just want you to know that I do love you.” He whispered, hugging him tightly. Merlin had he missed him. This was really the first time in months he’d gotten to hold him past this morning. Sam only wished that he could have given him a proper homecoming but that’d just have to always be a what if.
“Come on let’s go see if he’s up yet.”
Kennedy wanted things to be okay between Sam and him even though he knew it was going to take more than a conversation. He’d done something that he knew was going to hurt Sam. Though Sam wasn’t supposed to find out about it right now, he had and Kennedy felt bad for even wanting to keep it from his fiancé in the first place. Honestly, it was better that Sam knew. Maybe it meant that things changed, but for now it meant that he and Charlie didn’t have to sneak around and keep secrets from Sam. Kennedy was going to have to be honest from now on, not that he thought that was going to be a problem. He loved Sam and wanted their relationship to last. It was going to take work now, but Kennedy was nothing if not determined for this to work out. Especially if it worked out with Charlie as well. There were a lot of unanswered questions, but they’d have to wait until Charlie could answer questions before the three of them could decide about what they wanted to do. Kennedy didn’t know if he wanted to have a discussion about the wedding, but he didn’t know if he wanted to have that right this second.
He reached out and took Sam’s hand, squeezing it tightly before smiling at the other boy. Kennedy had known that he was far from perfect. Sam wasn’t perfect and neither was Charlie. The three of them had their own flaws. Kennedy’s might have been the most annoying out of all of them, but he was learning. Kennedy didn’t really know what Charlie’s flaws were, except that he was nervous about a lot of things. There were things that Kennedy couldn’t talk to Charlie about. Kennedy wasn’t looking forward to talking with Charlie, only because he wasn’t ready to face the other boy, but he did love Charlie and that had to count for something. It wasn’t that Kennedy was nervous, he just knew that Charlie was sensitive about certain things and sex had been one of those. The three of them loved each other though that had to mean something. “You don’t really have anything to be sorry for,” Kennedy pointed out, though part of himself didn’t feel that he himself really had much to be sorry for other than going behind Sam’s back. “I love you, Sam.”
He highly doubted that Sam was going to be the jealous on in this situation. Sam had only known Kennedy for a brief period of time. Kennedy had known Charlie forever. If anything, Kennedy was going to be the one that got easily jealous of the other two of them together. Charlie was never meant to be anything other than his best friend. Loyal until the end. They had spent a lot of time together. Kennedy used to think of them as more than best friends – they had been soulmates, even if it was in an unromantic way at first. “I think I’ll probably get the most jealous. Even when I had nothing, I had Charlie. He was there before Delia died. He was there when Patrick came into the picture. Charlie was my first friend and someone I’ve loved for a very long time. You’re the first person that I’ve been with romantically. In some ways, I feel almost more possessive over you than I do over Charlie. Seeing you together, even though I think that’s going to make me incredibly happy, I’m sure I’ll get jealous easily.” Kennedy knew he was thinking ahead – after all, Charlie wasn’t part of this conversation and he had no idea if Charlie still wanted a relationship with the two of them. He just had to hope that was what the other boy wanted. In no way did he see it being a problem, but he did want to make sure that’s what they all wanted before they made a decision.
“I have no dobt that the more you get to know Charlie, the more you’ll like him. He’s… probably the one person that’s always looked after my back. He’s always been… there for me. And I don’t know if you’ve read anything that he’s written, but he’s an amazing writer.” Kennedy was proud of his best friend. More than he probably should have been. Charlie was just so talented. “Alright. Well I just wanted to make sure that you’re alright and not just saying that to make me feel better.” He probably deserved to feel like crap though. Kennedy wasn’t going to say that out loud. At least both of them were okay. At least Charlie wasn’t dealing with a broken nose or a face injury because Sam got mad. At least Sam wasn’t hurt because Charlie decided to fight back. Sam was right. First impressions weren’t everything. For once, Kennedy felt like things were supposed to be this way. He was supposed to fall in love with Sam and Charlie. They were supposed to be in a relationship. It felt right. Even if it hadn’t meant to happen exactly like this – that was something Kennedy couldn’t really take back.
“Alright,” Kennedy smiled nervously at Sam. He led the two of them towards the library. This was Kennedy’s favorite place in the house besides his room – and secret library. Only Charlie knew where that was. Kennedy hoped they could wake Charlie up because he really didn’t want the other boy to sleep on the couch in the library. He wanted the three of them to cuddle, even if that was a selfish thought. When Kennedy got to the library, he smiled at the boy sleeping on the couch. At some point, Delia must have wondered into the library because the small kitten was cuddled at Charlie’s head. Kennedy felt a wave of feeling rise in his chest. Charlie was so perfect. He didn’t look like a person, he looked ethereal. Kennedy leaned over and kissed Charlie’s forehead, feeling as if his chest was going to explode of happiness.
“Charlie?” he shook the other boy gently. “Wake up, love.” Kennedy kept one hand wrapped around Sam’s hand and took Charlie’s other hand, squeezing it. He stirred.
“Kennedy?” the sleepy boy responded and rolled over on the couch.
The hurt and sadness was slowly starting to dissipate. It was still very much there but Sam was starting to get a handle on it better than he ever thought he would. Even though his chest was aching and his stomach was in knots it felt as though he were actually okay. It wasn’t the actions but the feelings that made him come to that realization. Perhaps in some weird way this could actually work. Was he getting ahead of himself? More than likely but maybe … just maybe this didn’t have to be the end of something he knew was going to be the biggest and most fulfilling part of his life, their lives.
But Kennedy’s tone suddenly changed and the bit of hopefulness Sam felt a moment ago began to disappear as quickly as it’d come. Did he really feel that way? He couldn’t have. They’d survived his friends at school, Kennedy’s less favorable place with a select family and even his own engagement to another person. Surely this wasn’t the nail in the coffin that left them in such shambles they couldn’t salvage this. Sam refused to believe that. He couldn’t imagine not having Kennedy in his life. Every dream he had about their future included him and he’d be damned if that wasn’t what was going to be. His grandfather would be disappointed if he allowed his true happiness to slip through his fingers like Kennedy was suggesting.
Sam couldn’t even get a word in before they were off and traipsing through the Devin manor. In the time he’d spent there it was impossible to know what was in every room. And to some extent, Sam didn’t want to intrude on something that wasn’t any of his business. But as they came into the room he quickly knew exactly why they were there. The woman in the picture was his mother. She was beautiful and Sam knew instantly exactly which parts he’d taken after. A small smile tugged at his lips finally seeing this. Though the smile was quick to go when Kennedy began to explain why they were there. This wasn’t the end for them. Sam wasn’t having it.
He stepped forward and took Kennedy’s ring in his palm, looking intently at it. This was the second time he had it in his palm for a similar reason. It hurt but Sam wasn’t going to let Kennedy leave this time. “Kennedy …” Sam spoke softly, moving the ring between his fingers. “You’re right. We are teenagers and we’re bound to make mistakes.” Sam stepped closer to Kennedy and cupped his cheek with his free hand. “When we started this I knew about Charlie. I knew there were feelings still very much there and at Christmas I was reminded that you can’t always control how your heart feels.” There were a few tears falling from his eyes but not like before. This almost felt as if it were supposed to happen. Standing there before his mother, Sam always wanted her to know that he’d love her son and care for him as well as she did and would have had she lived.
Sam took Kennedy’s hand and slid the ring back on again. “We aren’t perfect. There will be mistakes made on both … on all our parts. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve this ring.” He squeezed his fingers tight and pulled him in closer. A small smile touched his lips as he looked at Kennedy. “I love you with all of my being. I want to be with you the rest of my life. Being with you means learning about you. Hell I bet if you’d ask Beatrice there’s still things about your mother she doesn’t know or doesn’t understand to this day. That’s what this is. You commit to someone with all their good and bad parts. You can’t just love the good. It has to be all of it.”
He looked at the portrait for a moment before speaking again. “She’d be very proud of you and the sort of man you are today and the man you’ll grow to be.” Sam turned his attention back to Kennedy and he pulled him in flush, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Kennedy Loren Devin I love you. I love all your mistakes and all your accomplishments.” Another kiss pressed to his lips, this time a bit longer. “If you can be honest about what you’re feeling with Charlie and myself then we can get past this. It won’t be easy but if that’s what will make us okay then I’m willing to try.” His forehead pressed to Kennedy’s and he sighed softly. “All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. For us to be happy. And …” He paused a moment, pulling back to look at him. “And Charlie may be a part of that equation now. But we have to decide this together. All three of us.”
This was a terrible feeling that Kennedy didn’t want to deal with right now. He had no self-control and acted on impulse all too often. Wasn’t that what his entire relationship was based off of? His stupid impulses that actually worked out in his favor? Sam had been an example of that. Sam wasn’t a mistake and neither was Charlie, but Kennedy was pretty sure that it was all over now. He had no idea what to do anymore. He loved both boys so much and now it seemed like Sam… well he wasn’t completely sure what was happening anymore. Usually, he was good at reading situations, but this one was more confusing than ever. He loved Sam so much and he really wanted the two of them to be with Charlie too. This situation was just far too much for him to handle and he was sure that he was going to end up hurt in all this. He believed he kind of deserved it though. Kennedy couldn’t look at Sam anymore. He just wanted this entire day to go away. It didn’t help when Sam started speaking to him.
Kennedy didn’t want this to be over between the two of them. He wanted to be with Sam and Charlie and he wanted the three of them to live a happy life. He could see it working out. It was a big step, but honestly, he couldn’t imagine his life without the two of them in it. He wondered if Patrick would have anything to say about this. Probably not. He’d probably just give him a look that said that Kennedy was a complete fool. Kennedy loved Sam so much and he also loved Charlie so much. He could see the three of them together and he wanted a family with Sam and Charlie. He didn’t think he could be without either of them. He didn’t think that he deserved either of them. In fact, he was sure he didn’t deserve either of them, though he was going to try and be a better person. He wasn’t sure what Sam saw in him, but he was going to be the person that Sam had fallen in love with. Kennedy wasn’t really sure that he could ever be good enough, even though Sam said he was, but he was going to try.
This was a room that Kennedy spent a lot of time in. He liked to think about situations where his mother hadn’t died when she had. He liked to think that there was a world where they were together. Kennedy had loved his mother so much. She was the perfect human. She had loved him so much. Kennedy knew that Beatrice loved him too even if she didn’t want to admit it. He knew that he just reminded her of everything that Delia had been. Things were getting better between them too. It was a situation like this that made Kennedy wondered if he really was anything like his mother. She wouldn’t have done anything like this. She completely loved her wife and was loyal to her. He bit down on his lip and shook his head. He loved the boy in front of him so much. He loved the boy sleeping in the other room just as much too. Kennedy was worried about Charlie now as well.
He wasn’t expecting Sam to kiss him. Sam’s words were perfect. Just what he needed to hear. Maybe he was selfish and he needed both of them. Kennedy wiped the tears away from Sam’s face and his arms went around the other as if it was instinct. He loved the boy in his arms. “I’m sorry, Sam,” he muttered, running his hand through Sam’s hair. “I love you. I’m sorry.” He wanted to know where Charlie was and if he was okay. He didn’t want the boy to leave without the three of them having a conversation. “I don’t want to make excuses for myself. I shouldn’t have slept with Charlie even if I do have feelings for him. Charlie loves me. I guess he told you he has feelings for you too,” Kennedy smiled. “Well that’s… I mean he told me too. I didn’t think Charlie was going to tell you he loved you.” This time Kenendy didn’t give him the ring back when Sam put it back on his finger.
“Are you sure?” he asked, looking at the ring. “I mean… I don’t want to mess up again, and I don’t plan on messing up again. But are you absolutely sure?” Kennedy sniffed and felt the tears slowing down. “I don’t want to do anything… if you don’t want to do this. I’ll be happy with you and just you, if that’s what you want. I don’t know how you feel about… Charlie. Do you want that?” Kennedy pulled away and looked Sam in the eyes. They were red and puffy and he was the reason for it. “Look me in the eye and tell me that you’re absolutely sure that you want this. Me and Charlie and everything that comes with that. Tell me that you really, really want that.” He needed to be sure that this was what Sam wanted before they went to the next step. And that was making sure that Charlie wanted this. Kennedy made his position quite clear with the man standing before him and he’d all but told Charlie that he’d have to ask Sam if it was okay. Charlie knew what Kennedy felt and what he wanted. Hopefully, this is what they all wanted.
The two of them needed to go talk to Charlie. This was on Charlie now. If Sam agreed to this, then everything was on Charlie. Sam was more amazing than Kennedy deserved. He was pretty sure that he was getting exactly what he wanted, but at what cost. “I… are you okay? All things considered, are you alright?” Kennedy took a step back and looked at the painting of his mother. He placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I’m… I just need to make sure you’re alright before… we go talk to Charlie.” Kennedy felt a few more tears slide down his face. “I… we—should go talk to Charlie. But… erm, only if you’re up to it. I don’t think he should be left alone tonight. He’ll… erm,” Kennedy shook his head. “He’ll have nightmares. And it won’t be good. I’m... I don’t... only if you’re comfortable. We should... go make sure he’s okay too.”
The silence was deafening in itself. It was like there was this void in the room and there was no telling of it’s boundaries. It was more a metaphor for how Sam was feeling at the moment. He could feel Kennedy looking at him. He couldn’t take the eyes on him and it made him feel smaller than he really was. The struggle between his own feelings and what had happened was still churning around in his head as if it were trying to work it all out without anything from Kennedy. He found comfort in the notion that Charlie proposed but it didn’t mean he was okay with it just that easily.
When Kennedy did finally speak it wasn’t what he thought he’d say. Then again he couldn’t blame him for asking what he did. Until today he didn’t even know that he and Charlie had spent any time together past Christmas. He’d known Charlie longer, had more time to care and nourish the relationship they’d shared. And it didn’t help that on their first meeting, Sam clocked him a good one. “Charlie’s fine.” Sam spoke softly, looking up at him finally. At least the thought of making eye contact would reassure Kennedy. At least he hoped so. “He’s laying down in the other room. It’s been quite a day for him.” He hoped the bite in the words stung Kennedy as much as they had him when he finally spoke them.
As much as it hurt, at least from what he felt, Kennedy was being truthful about it. He had the chance to lie and say it wasn’t what it was but he didn’t. In a morbid way he was grateful for it. It wasn’t easy for him as much as it was difficult for Sam. But just because he was being truthful didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt. Sam hadn’t asked anything from him but to be faithful and he hadn’t been. But then again Sam had kissed Charlie. So didn’t that make him as equally guilty? Were there degrees of fault in something like this? He had no idea but he knew that if Kennedy was willing to be this brutally honest then he needed to be as well.
“I’m not going to begin to try and understand where your thought process was Kennedy.” Sam’s hands came down and clenched the bed sheet tightly. He couldn’t let his anger get the better of him in this. “Even if Charlie told you that he loved you that wasn’t an invitation to sleep with him. I’m not mad about you loving him.” It was true he wasn’t. Sam’s face felt like he’d just been thrust into the hot bed of embers after the fire’s flames had finally died down. Drawing in a deep breath he kept going as if that were all he had left. “I’m upset because you crossed the one line I asked you not to. If you’d come to me …” He couldn’t finish that sentence because he knew he didn’t know how he’d have reacted honestly.
Sam sat quietly, processing all of what was said and his own thoughts. Another few moments passed and he finally looked up at Kennedy. “So what I’m supposed to take from this is that when Charlie admitted his feelings for me I should have slept with him too?” Sam slowly stood, arms crossed over his chest. “I could have. I could have done so much more than just kiss him but I couldn’t. Not even when I found out what happened I couldn’t do that to you.” Sam swallowed hard and shrugged his shoulders. “And from the way you’re coming off with this including Charlie is the only way you’ll be happy now.” His teeth ground against one another and he sighed softly. “Is that where we’re at?”
Kennedy hated the feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was conflicted on if he wanted to take it back or not. He had no idea what Sam wanted from him now and this was just getting way more confusing than it needed to be. Kennedy loved Sam. He loved Sam so much and he wanted to be with Sam for the rest of his life, but he also wanted Charlie. He had no idea what he was even asking anymore. Words were just coming out of his mouth at this point and he wasn’t sure that he was even making any sense anymore. This was the worst he’d ever felt. He wanted to go to Patrick and take back everything that happened. He wanted to cuddle up with the only father figure he’d ever known, and cry to the man about his mistakes. He had no idea if Sam was going to forgive him. Or what even was going to happen. All his feelings were out in the open now. Sam was probably going to leave him. Honestly, Kennedy wouldn’t be surprised if he did leave him. Kennedy was a horrible person that had done a horrible thing and he wasn’t even sure he wanted to take it back. Sleeping with his best friend had felt so right even if it was wrong.
The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. He just wanted to go back to this morning when they weren’t thinking about the consequences for their actions. Where they were about to have sex as if they were... well, teenagers. But they were teenagers. Charlie had told him once that they weren’t really adults at the age of seventeen, they weren’t really going to be adults until they were in their mid-twenties. Perhaps this was all some stupid teenage dream to be with Sam and get married at a young age. Even if his parents had gotten married when they were young, they were still in their early twenties when they’d gotten married. Maybe Sam and Kennedy and Charlie just needed, well time. Maybe this marriage was a bad idea and they shouldn’t get married until they were more responsible. Merlin, he wanted to get married to Sam so badly. But if he was just doing stupid things to hurt the person that he loved, then maybe... maybe this was a bad idea and he needed to be alone for a while. He didn’t like that thought, but Kennedy knew if he was given a moment alone with Charlie, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop himself from kissing the boy again. Charlie had been the person that Kennedy always thought he’d end up with -- even if that thought wasn’t in the romantic sense until recently. Kennedy had been in love with him for so long. And he was also in love with Sam as well.
Tears were streaming down his face, as he spoke. He wasn’t sure what he was saying at this point. And how Sam would react to any of it. Sam deserved better. He wasn’t really sure what was going to come out of this conversation. He had no idea what Sam wanted. The two of them were just sitting there as if they were strangers to each other. And well, Kennedy thought they were. Never in his life, did he think that he’d be the sort to cheat on his partner. Never did he think he’d end up falling in love with more than one boy. Never had did he think he’d leave school because of a boy. He was impulsive and he guessed Sam had never really seen that side of him when it worked against him. Thus far, it had only been good for the two of them. Kennedy sighed, and stood up from his desk when Sam finished. Now more confused than ever. So Charlie had told Sam that he had feelings for him. And Sam had kissed him. Poor Charlie was... Kennedy couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now, but he knew that he needed to be there for his friend. He wasn’t sure that he could even do that anymore. This was so fucked up. When had his life become a soap opera? All he wanted was a relationship without complications, but apparently he was not going to get that at all. Kennedy let the tears fall from his eyes and walked over to Sam.
“This was a mistake. Sam, I love you, but we’re teenagers. I screwed up and I hurt you and I don’t deserve to be happy. Maybe we should...” Kennedy trailed off. He didn’t want to be the one to take the engagement ring off a second time. He just couldn’t see a way around this unless he did. “We don’t know each other like we need to. I’m going to hurt you again.” Kennedy wanted to say that he knew Sam wasn’t mad at him for being in love with Charlie, but he wasn’t sure that he knew that until Sam had said something. The former Ravenclaw hadn’t even known Sam for six months before their engagement happened. He didn’t even know Sam now. He knew some things, but everything... not even close. Kennedy was crying harder now. “I’m not worth it and I don’t want to fight about this. We’re teenagers. We don’t know what we want. I’m not going to make you happy if I keep screwing up like this. I love you Sam and I love Charlie too. Maybe it was never meant to be the two of us. Maybe it was always supposed to be you and Charlie.” Kennedy spun the ring on his finger. He was completely unsure of what was even happening anymore. He knew he wasn’t going to end up happy no matter what happened. Kennedy wanted to throw up. “I need to show you something.” He grabbed Sam’s hand and didn’t even wait for Sam to say yes or now.
Kennedy led Sam through the manor, to the west side. Most of the rooms were empty now, only cleaned every so often. But there was one room that Kennedy spent more time in than any other room besides his own and the library. He entered the room, knowing that no one else would be here. Kennedy had always thought the massive portrait was ridiculous, until the person it was of wasn’t in his life anymore, then it became his favorite painting in the whole world. “She wouldn’t be proud of me,” he sighed. “I haven’t finished school, I got engaged too early, then messed it up because I’m the most selfish person on the planet.” Kennedy sighed. He never liked to think about his depression because thinking positive was a much easier thing for him to do, but he just couldn’t think of a way to spin this in a positive manor. “That’s my mum. I come here when I don’t know what to do and I need advice from someone. I know she can’t talk. I know even if she was a witch, she wouldn’t have come back as a ghost, but sometimes I pretend that we have conversations and she’s really still alive and will walk through the door tomorrow.” He looked at the painting of the woman. Her dark wavy hair and brown eyes were the same as Kennedy’s. They had the same nose and the same facial structure. “She gives me strength. Especially when I know I need it and I think I need it now.” He took a deep breath. “Maybe we shouldn’t get married, Sam. Maybe we shouldn’t be in a relationship right now. I love you and I made a huge mistake and I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know what you want me to do. I love you and I love Charlie, but I’m selfish and I don’t think. I make mistakes -- a lot of them. I do things without thinking them through, which is just going to get everyone hurt. I don’t deserve this ring,” he held his hand up, “but I think Charlie does. You should be happy Sam.” He bit down on his lip and this time wasn’t afraid to pull the ring off.
The knot in his stomach was one he could have done without. It hurt so badly but still made him feel something entirely different. What had just happened? Had he really kissed Charlie after he’d slept with his fiance? Had he really admitted that he wanted to explore a relationship with both he and Kennedy? And to think it’d started so beautifully. Now … he wasn’t exactly sure what to say or even think about it. And on top of it all he was going to have to confront and explain his part in the entire ordeal to his fiance. Sam just needed to lie down for a while. He couldn’t think straight and the knot felt as though it were about to start forcing up what he’d had for breakfast that morning.
He’d almost wished he’d stayed with Charlie when Kennedy came into view. Of course he was going to be in there. Way to go smart one. Sam swallowed hard as his fiance came towards him and that pang nearly forced him to vomit there on the spot. Before he knew it Kennedy was so close and then they were touching. Instinctively Sam reached for him but quickly settled on leaving his hands lay against his sides. His eyes closed as Kennedy spoke and the lie stung worse than he’d ever imagined it would.
Sam slowly pulled back from Kennedy knowing that he’d have to explain what was really bothering him. Slowly he drew in a deep breath, the air shaky as he expelled it again. “Kennedy …” His eyes stung too badly to cry right then but he felt the sensation in his chest. He’d never felt so awful in his entire life, how was he going to even approach this situation. “I just …” Sam wrapped his arms around himself and moved to sit at the end of the bed. It stung knowing just hours prior they’d been in the midst of making the most of the moments they’d missed. A shiver ran down his back and his gaze returned to Kennedy.
“Why … “ His head hung, he couldn’t look at him and see the look on his face as he pieced together exactly what he meant. And despite the rawness tears returned to his cheeks with a vengeance.
Kennedy was an absolute idiot to think that Sam wasn’t going to find out about what had happened with Charlie earlier. One thing Charlie was never good at was lying. Manipulating people and charming them, he had that covered, but lying to them... well that wasn’t something Charlie knew how to do at all. Kennedy should have realised that the moment that the second that he kissed the other boy. Maybe nothing would have come of a kiss, but Charlie still had admitted that he loved Sam and Kennedy wasn’t just going to let that be for nothing. He had a whole speech prepared for when he went to talk to Sam about what happened... a few months into their marriage, at least. Charlie made it clear that it couldn’t happen again, no matter how right it felt. How could he even explain to Sam that he loved the two of them... equally. And he wanted to be with them both? That wouldn’t go over well with his fiance, he was sure about that.
There was something off the moment that Kennedy looked at Sam and he could only imagine what he was thinking. Dammit, Charlie, he thought. Kennedy would be happy with Charlie even if that wasn’t what he wanted. But he would be happy with Charlie. If Sam left him, he’d be devastated at first, but it wouldn’t be that bad to be with the boy he’d been in love with since he met him. There was just one complication... that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted them all to be happy. He didn’t want to hurt Sam, even if he had. This was more complicated than it needed to be. He hated that. Why was Kennedy so weak? He looked at Sam, sitting on the bed. Sam wasn’t even looking at him anymore. This hurt so much. He sighed and kept standing, trying to figure out what to say that would make things better. There was nothing that he could think that would make this situation even any less terrible. This was his doing and he knew he was going to have to figure out something to say that didn’t hurt Sam any more than he already had.
“Where’s Charlie?” he asked, feeling sick. Kennedy took a seat down at his desk and looked at Sam. “Is he... okay?” Did you hurt him? Kennedy wanted to ask, but he couldn’t even ask that because he wasn’t sure what Sam was thinking. Kennedy needed that answered because he couldn’t stand to see either boy hurt, especially hurt by the other. Merlin, why had he done thing? It was terrible, awful, horrible and he felt sick to his stomach. All he wanted to do was run to Patrick and see if the man could make things better. Patrick always could make him feel better. His uncle was a good man. But right now, Kennedy didn’t think he could get away with that. This conversation was going to happen either way, better to get it over with now. At least Sam was listening and wanted to listen. It just wasn’t a conversation that he wanted to have with anyone right now. Kennedy looked at his fiance and down at his ring. Was this over before it even really had a chance? Would Sam ever forgive him?
“There’s really nothing I can say to make things better,” he bit down on his bottom lip. “I’m sorry. I was just...” Excuses. Don’t try and excuse this, you dolt. “He told me he loves me. Charlie told me he loves me and I know I love him too.” Don’t say anything about Charlie loving Sam... that’s not your thing to admit, Kennedy thought trying to stay calm, but Sam was crying and he was on the verge of tears himself. Kennedy looked at Sam. “I’ve been in love with him my whole life, Sam. He’s been there for me for almost everything. I love him. You came into my life when I didn’t have Charlie and I was hurt that he didn’t trust me with the truth. I wanted to hate him so badly. So I kissed you. I let myself kiss you so that maybe I could forget about him. It worked... for a while. I fell in love with you, Merlin did I let myself fall so quickly for you. I want to marry you, Sam. If that’s still on the table, I mean. When Charlie kissed me at Christmas, I was angry. But I didn’t realise that I was angry because he kissed me when I was in a relationship, I think I was angry because he took that long to trust me and realise that he loved me back. I didn’t realise that until today. I don’t want to be, because it’s confusing for us all, but I love him back.
“Why is such a confusing question because there’s multiple reasons. But I don’t think you really want to know why, do you? You don’t want my excuses and I don’t blame you for that. I want to hate myself for what I did, but I can’t Sam. I love both of you and now I know that I love both of you equally and I know it’s not fair for me to get what I want when I hurt you and put Charlie in an uncomfortable position because he... he’s not like me when it comes to things like sex. But I need both of you in my life. I shouldn’t have done what I did because it hurt you, but I did and I can’t really go back and change that now. I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore. I’m a horrible awful person and I love you and Charlie. I don’t know what to do because I don’t think this can just be you and me anymore. I need Charlie too and I know I don’t deserve it at all. I don’t, but I just... I think I’ll feel whole if that happens.” Kennedy wasn’t entirely sure when the tears started, but his face was completely flooded with tears streaming down his face. He was about to lose Sam.
The room was silent, which was completely fine with Kennedy. It had been a while since he was completely alone in a safe place and honestly, he kind of missed that feeling. It wasn’t like Sam was that far away and same with Charlie. Both boys were only a short distance from him. He was trying not to think about what he’d done earlier, but it was difficult. He knew if Sam find out, that would be the end of their relationship. Kennedy had done the one thing Sam asked him not to do. It was the one thing he’d promised never to do. Yet, he’d done it. All because his best friend -- a boy he’d loved his entire life -- had said I love you. To Kennedy those words were all powerful. He had always wanted to hear Charlie say those words in more than a friendship way. It was icing on the cake that Charlie loved Sam too. Kennedy was already having illusions of grandeur about the the three of them together. And that’s what he was trying not to think about because nothing had changed.
The boy sat up in bed and looked around the room. It was empty beside him in the bed, but he felt comfortable. Kennedy was still tired and felt like he could sleep for years. Though he did miss Sam. He had no idea where the boy was. Kennedy slipped out of bed as difficult as it was because the bed smelled like Sam and he’d missed the boy. The door creaked open. “Sam!” he exclaimed, smiling at the boy that had walked into the room. “Hey, are you okay? You look a little upset. Was the planning a bit stressful? Sorry I just woke up, but I’ll be there tomorrow.” Kennedy reached out and smiled at the boy in front of them. He wrapped his arms around Sam. “I missed you, my love.”
Kennedy was in a complete daze as he kissed Sam goodbye. He knew the other boy could tell something was wrong with him, but Kennedy knew that would have to be a discussion for a different time. There wasn’t anything in the entire world that would keep Kennedy from marrying Sam. Kennedy would wait until they were married to have the discussion with him about his feelings for Charlie. A person couldn’t be in love with more than one person at a time. He knew that was a lie, he was just trying to convince himself that it was true. Sam. Kennedy loved Sam so much, but then there was Charlie. It was confusing.
He pulled his clothes back on and headed out. If only they’d locked the door this might not have happened. Kennedy could have kept on pretending that he didn’t love Charlie and that Sam was the only thing he wanted. But no, the door had been unlocked and Kennedy had to witness his breaking of the other boy. The manor was large, but Kennedy walked through it without looking in the empty rooms and headed to the exact place he knew he’d find Charlie: The library.
Sure enough, the other boy was sitting inside the library. And he was crying? Soft sobs came from the corner of the room that Charlie was sitting. Kennedy felt his heart breaking. This was his doing. His poor best friend had to love him. Had to have fallen for him. Had to have waited too long to make a move. It hurt Kennedy to see his best friend like this, but he couldn’t kiss it and make it better… no matter how much he wanted to. Kennedy walked over to him slowly.
“Hey,” he whispered, even though they were the only two in the room.
“Go away, Kennedy.”
“No way. No fucking way. I’m tired of this Charlie. Just talk to me,” Kennedy’s voice was a little more forceful than he’d expected it to be, but he was frustrated with his friend. “You keep pushing me away and you won’t have me anymore.”
“I don’t have you now.”
Kennedy sat down beside him, a knot in his stomach. “Charlie Logan, if you think you can get rid of me that easily, then you don’t know me at all.” He pulled the other into a hug. Kennedy could feel his heart beating slightly faster than it had a moment ago. He was screwed. He wanted Charlie too. “Please talk to me. What’s wrong?”
“You’ll think me a fool.”
“I already think you’re a fool.”
“I’ve always been in love with you. Since the moment we met, I knew that you were going to be the first and last person I loved. I know I messed up my chances with you. I was going through some stuff – and yes, you could have helped me, but I didn’t want your help. I waited far too long to admit that I wanted you. You aren’t mine anymore.”
“I was never yours.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. You were my always. You are my always. But I’m not finished. When I first met Sam, I thought I’d had him. I played nice to try and find his weak spots. After all, it was only a boy like him standing between us. That was my intention, but then I started to get to know him. I don’t know what happened, but something happened.”
“What happened?” Kennedy asked, looking at Charlie as if his tale was the most amazing story he’d heard.
“I started to fall in love with him. I don’t know when it happened or when I even noticed it, but I stopped having to drag myself out of bed to help him with wedding preparations. I wanted to see him. I needed to please him. I found myself needing to stay over until the last possible moment before I collapsed into a deep sleep and needing to be there only seconds after waking up. As if I was falling asleep and waking up with him. But it’s clear he loves you and only you. I don’t know how much more I can take, Kennedy. I keep falling in love with people that will never love me. You have Sam and he has you. There’s no room for me.”
“You’re wrong,” Kennedy spoke softly. He reached out and gripped Charlie’s hand, holding it tightly. He leaned over gently pressing his lips to Charlie’s cheek. Kennedy’s chest exploded. It was completely confirmed now. “I do love you. I need you in my life Charlie. I’ve been miserable without you. Trying to convince myself that all I need is Sam. I love him so much. He’s been there for me through a lot and I’m going to marry him because that’s what I want. But I love you and I don’t know what to do about it.” Kennedy looked at Charlie. This perfect boy. He wanted Charlie, so why shouldn’t he be able to?
Kennedy looked at Charlie, pulling him in closer. His heart felt like it was going to explode. He impulsively pressed his lips to the others. He expected Charlie to pull away, but he didn’t. This was supposed to happen. Kennedy rested one hand on Charlie’s thigh and the other on his back. He wanted more. Needed more. Sam couldn’t know about this. Maybe Charlie could be a secret for now. Kennedy slowly lay Charlie back to that he could climb on top. Their lips pressed together over and over and over. Kennedy’s mind clearing of every negative thought he’d ever had in the past couple of months. He let his hands wander around Charlie’s body and slowly pulled his shirt off, tossing it aside.
“What about Sam?” Charlie asked, breathless.
“He doesn’t have to know,” Kennedy whispered, pressing his lips back to Charlie’s and the other boy melted back into his arms. This was wrong and he knew it, but he needed to know. He needed to have one moment with Charlie before he got married to Sam. Kennedy would carry the guilt with him, but that didn’t matter right now as long as he had Charlie. Kennedy fumbled with the button on Charlie’s pants, pulling them off. His body was aching with want. He trailed kisses all over the other boy’s body, as their clothing slowly was pulled off, eventually leaving Kennedy staring at his best friend naked in his arms. This was what he wanted. It wasn’t fair that he couldn’t have both. Charlie pressed his lips to Kennedy’s and all the negative feelings and almost regrets went away.
“I love you, Charlie,” he said.
“I love you too, Kennedy,” was Charlie’s nervous response. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes. I want you. Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
X – X
Kennedy pulled his shirt back on over his head. His mind was swimming with a thousand thoughts, but he didn’t know if he wanted to know the answer to any of the questions in his mind. He glanced over at Charlie. Having sex with the other boy didn’t seem wrong. In fact, it had felt completely right. But Kennedy was engaged. And if Sam ever found out about this… well Kennedy could only imagine that he wouldn’t be engaged anymore.
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” he asked, squeezing Charlie’s hand.
“I’m fine. You were… you were wonderful.”
“Was that… was I your first?”
“Of course you were,” Charlie replied, leaning over to kiss Kennedy on the cheek. “You were amazing, alright. I’m more worried about you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You just cheated on Sam. Am I worth that?”
Kennedy thought for a moment. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“Well obviously, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t cheat. And that doesn’t make me worth it.”
“I know, Charlie. I can’t tell him. I wasn’t thinking. You were there and you were sad and I wanted to make it better.”
“I know I was here.”
“Shit. I don’t know what to do. I can’t lose you. I can’t lose him either.”
“I’m not going to tell him.” Charlie leaned over and pulled Kennedy into a hug. “We’re people, okay. We make mistakes. I know this can’t happen again even if we want it to. I love you no matter what happens.”
“You’re not a mistake Charlie,” Kennedy muttered into his shoulder. “I love you too.” He’d be happy with Charlie. If Sam found out and didn’t want to marry him, Kennedy would be happy with Charlie. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Why don’t you go take a shower? I’ll let Sam know you needed a nap.”
“You can’t go talk to Sam! He’ll know you just had sex with me.”
“Then I’ll go shower and tell him you needed a nap from travelling.”
Kennedy nodded. He felt sick, but walked with Charlie back to his room. Almost the second he fell back onto the bed, he felt himself pass out from exhaustion. He fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. This morning had taken a lot out of him and as much as he hated to admit it, he knew that he was eventually going to have to tell Sam he slept with Charlie. But he’d wait for a less painful moment to tell him. Maybe it would work out before then. Whatever happened was going to happen. He’d made his bed; he was going to have to face the consequences.
