lewis ☆

he it ☆ system ☆ minor ☆ vent & art blog ☆ tw sh, trauma edblr blog: @monsterenergypiss

[kentuckypsycho]

william lewis shooting himself in the fucking head stimboard

[kentuckypsycho]

hi chat i probably won’t ever be active on this blog or pissgravy, my active shedblog is in my bio and john’s blog (that he never posts on but uses a lot) is @radiationyaoi

i might deactivate this blog soon bc i dont really have a use for it anymore but i’ll keep it up for now so people see this :)

[kentuckypsycho]

i haven’t fronted for more than a few minutes in like 2 years but i just stayed up until 8 writing and am making my own blog. life is wonderful

[kentuckypsycho]

my alter john has been wanting to make a separate blog, this may happen. unsure of what i’ll do with this blog but i will let my loyal mutuals know

[kentuckypsycho]

stuff with my fp has made me able to listen to other peoples’ experiences about trauma/abuse without getting triggered at all, or really feeling anything, which is kind of good i guess brcause i don’t get upset about it anymore. i just completely lost the ability to fo that. i am immune

the cost of this was getting permanently traumatised and developing a mental illness and relapsing but a win is a win

[kentuckypsycho]

i suspect my fp has the means to talk to me and is choosing not to but is in touch with the person who ruined my life/caused me to attempt/worst person i know. but if i ever bring this up to him i will sound schizophrenic and abusive

[kentuckypsycho]

ocd makes no sense i saw someone mention a city in north england and now i have to blink really hard twice so my fp doesn’t leave me

[kentuckypsycho]

born to say i’ll kill myself if you ever leave me again, forced to say i understand if you have to stop talking to me for your own safety

[kentuckypsycho]

the idea of killing myself on the second month anniversary of last talking to my fp (if he doesnt contact me before then, but he probably will) is very delicious but also i have things to do and am too focused on my ed relapse to die

[kentuckypsycho]

had nightmares about things my fp told me again #awesome

[kentuckypsycho]

debating switching my (alter, john, not irl name) name with one of the host’s oc’s names because it’s really cool and i want it

[kentuckypsycho]

this is not the main blog i was misinformed

[kentuckypsycho]

debating switching my (alter, john, not irl name) name with one of the host’s oc’s names because it’s really cool and i want it

[kentuckypsycho]

i cant tell whats a delusion and whats ocd

[kentuckypsycho]

the lion does not concern himself with the psychosis symptom holder alter fronting, restlessness, it being autumn, and having revelations that everything exists in a pattern

[kentuckypsycho]

it started with it being autumn and hearing a song that i used to listen to in 2023 and now mr religious psychosis is back to fronting every day

[kentuckypsycho]

the lion does not concern himself with returning symptoms of psychosis

[kentuckypsycho]

an alter who hasn’t fronted since the great religious psychosis of 2023 is back. which could mean nothing

also the objectively most interesting/coolest alter in the system but has the most boring name. john

[kentuckypsycho]

i’ve felt more alive in the last 2-3 days than i have in more than a year. ruh roh (incoming psychosis)