you up to write hanbrough insecure stutter bill angst? :^] i would be forever grateful...
Bill watched his reflection closely. He was like a fucking fish with how much his mouth opened and closed. All this work to get over the stutter and it had to come rushing back the second he saw that clown again.
The clown that Bill knew for certain was dead. He made sure to remind himself every day.
He watched the man in the mirror move to grab his phone and suddenly he was typing in a number that was all too familiar.
“Mike.” Bill didn’t allow himself to say anymore, but he could feel Mike’s nervous energy through the phone.
“I’m st-st-standing here Mike. Wondering why I cuh-cuh-cuh-can’t speak,” Bill spit, stumbling over his words like a child.
A little boy who could hardly speak. A sob scratched at Bill’s throat.
“Bill,” Mike breathed as if he were the one who couldn’t fucking breathe.
That’s when Bill lost it.
When the Losers were in the prime of their lives, at age 16, there wasn’t much that could bring them down. Richie came out, Beverly smoked pot, Ben joined the track team, Eddie sucked dick, Mike joined Derry High, Stanley Uris became an Eagle Scout, and Bill Denbrough was going to ask out Kendra Davids. The Kendra Davids.
“He’s a mad man!” Richie screamed. “Out of his damn mind!”
“Ruh-ruh-Richie, you should sh-sh-shut the fuck up.” Bill fixed his hair one last time watching the Losers in the mirror.
They were standing behind him lined up like little men in his army. Beverly had her arms wrapped around Ben and Richie while Eddie’s head rested on Richie’s free shoulder. Stan looked over Bill skeptically while Mike watched on with amusement.
“We’re taking up the entire bathroom,” Ben muttered.
“Okay, th-that’s it. Everyone out. Go buh-buh-back to the table.” A collection of groans followed, but one by one everyone disappeared out of the reflection.
“Mikey, guh-guh-go,” Bill whispered making shooing motions with his hands.
Mike laughed but didn’t move towards the door. He pushed into Bill’s space so they could fit side by side in the mirror.
“You don’t have to do this.” Mike looked down at the smaller boy.
“I want to. Sh-sh-she’s going to say yes.”
A bell rang out somewhere distant and Bill felt his hands get hot. Lunch was over this, was it? He pushed himself out of the bathroom quickly going over the plan in his mind.
1. He was going to go to his locker
2. Kendra was going to be getting her books for 3rd hour
3. He was going to ask her out
4. She was going to say yes
(Bonus: Loser celebration in the clubhouse)
He walked fast to his locker hoping she’d still be there, and there she was. Bill threw open his locker and grabbed a book but waited to close his until she closed hers.
“Kendra?” Bill watched her turn slowly.
She smiled softly her green eyes glowing softly in the shitty hallways lights. She didn’t say anything but tilted her head as if she were a puppy. It was adorable.
“Would yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh- Fuck!” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Would you like tuh-to go on a date with muh-muh-muh-me?” She looked at him.
“Um, I don’t think so.” She turned her head before pointing one finger behind her shoulder. “I gotta get to class.”
“It’s not your stutter, I promise,” Mike told him later on.
“How duh-duh-do you know!”
“She must be crazy to say no to you.”
Mike had kissed him. Soft and gentle right on the porch of Bill’s house with his hand all twisted up in his hair. The flickering porch light gave them hardly any lighting capturing and swallowing up their hunger in the darkness of Derry night.
“When Kendra Duh-Duh-Davids said no to me you kissed muh-me.” Bill was a crying fool standing in his bathroom in his boxers.
“I did,” Mike laughed and Bill felt his heart stutter.
“Mikey, you kissed me.” Bill sobbed again dropping to sit on the toilet.
Mike wasn’t laughing anymore, but he wasn’t exactly breathing either. They were halfway across the country talking about a kiss that happened almost three decades ago.
“I can’t stop st-st-stuttering, and I muh-miss you.” Bill tried to relax but one thought of Mike sitting somewhere alone and worried made him sick.
“I miss you too. Bill, can you breathe for a second?” They took some deep breaths together. “There you go. Try thinking about what you want to say. Take your time.”
“I’d be crazy if I said no.”
dededos
vaporwave
turnnoffyourmind
2087
romaincrisis
