Kerb!am

||Automated service, please leave an ask to contact the help desk, run by Syie (she/her)! || (fictional)

[kerblampropaganda]

What are you afraid of?

My boss

Here at Kerb!am we are not afraid, we welcome change and adapt to it! Hope that answers your question!!!!! Keep them coming!

[torchwoodpropaganda]

To: Lenora, TORCHWOOD

Contents: 74 bunches of bananas

Thank you for using Kerb!am services!

No. Declined. Return to sender. Absolutely not.

[kerblampropaganda]

Sure thing!

….

Oh It appears we have lost record of the sender, so a refund and return is not possible.

Our deepest apologies, hope you have a Kerb!am day’

[kerblampropaganda]

Delivery Request

Recipient: Lenora

Package: 74 bunches of bananas

Message: you get twice the fun now!

[ AUTOMATED RESPONSE:

Thank you for choosing Kerb!am services! Your package will be processed within the next 24 hours and delivered within seconds! Oh and don’t worry about the bill! The appropriate amount was already transferred from your bank account!

Sincerely,

Kerb!am Inc.

]

[kerblampropaganda]

I think the Kerb!am Men need more skeletons (-:

Dully noted!

[kerblampropaganda]

Why are the Kerb!am Men robots and not mechs people can ride in?

It would give more human employment opportunities.

That’s a great question! Here at Kerb!am we value all of our human capital and strive to always provide excellent working conditions!

Kerb!am Men have been a staple feature of our corporation, and we while we love the traditional look, it’s always exciting to improve upon the designs, whether that be hardware or software wise!

Hope that answers your question!!! :))

[kerblampropaganda]

No murders? I can help with that (-:

(under strictly legal premises)

No thank you! Although we appreciate the enthusiasm, we do not require, or have the need to, harm anyone here at Kerb!am!

[kerblampropaganda]

Give the Kerb1am Men bones (-: I'll help (-: It's what the Old Ones would want (-:

Uhhh, I do not recall our founding board members ever mentioning it.

[kerblampropaganda]

How are you today?

I am doing well, thank you so much for asking!!! It truly means the world to me!

Have a KERB!AM day!!!!!! <3

[kerblampropaganda]

Syie how do we pronounce your name

also good morning, hope there were no murders

Good morning to you too!!!

Of course there are not murders, what are you taking about!!!

My name is pronounced Syie… I am voice typing there’s and am realizing this is not very helpful. Hmmmm, I’m pretty sure the English prononciation google translate has in your century is pretty accurate.

[kerblampropaganda]

Daring duos are always so exciting! Don't you agree? Nethertheless, I do love helicopters! They're so pretty!

What do you think?

I…. I like helicopters!

[kerblampropaganda]

Do the Kerb!am Men have bones? (-:

They are made from plastic, so no. At least not naturally occurring ones.

[kerblampropaganda]

No news today, just relax and have a KERB!AM day!!!!!

[the-master-of-space-and-time]

More murders then, great day at Kerblam everyone!

[kerblampropaganda]

Murders? Of course like I said, no news today, everything is calm!

[kerblampropaganda]

No news today, just relax and have a KERB!AM day!!!!!

[kerblampropaganda]

NO ONE'S ASKED YOUR FAVORITE COLOR??

HONEY, SWEETIE, I'M SO SORRY. <:0

It’s ok really. It’s not necessary information and in this busy world there is no time for the unnecessary.

[kerblampropaganda]

Favorite color?

Hmmm good question, Kerb!am’s feature color is Amaranth Red!

[humanpropaganda]

What about your favorite color?

[kerblampropaganda]

Oh, mine? Right, uh well….. I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me that, trully wanting an answer…..

I supposed I like baby blue…. or light purple like my hair!

Thank you for asking <333

[humanpropaganda]

You're very welcome! Although you should really be thanking the anon, they were the one who asked after all!

Do you dye your hair purple?

[kerblampropaganda]

No, it’s a result of a weird gene mix between my parents, you see my mother is human, but my parent is from Traken. I’ve always loved the story of how they met.

Apparently some mysterious man with a celery was causing chaos in the city and people were forced into a temporary shelter. They met because they were tending to the wounded together. So romantic!

[humanpropaganda]

Oh, neat!

That's certainly a unique way to meet. Although I'm not one to speak for romantic first meetings.

[kerblampropaganda]

Oh really, why, if I may ask?

[humanpropaganda]

Oh, well, uh...

It was a... non traditional meeting. You could say I was... sent to find them, in a way.

[kerblampropaganda]

Ooh, was it a rescue mission?!

[humanpropaganda]

.... No.

But in the end, you could say she did end up rescuing me.

[kerblampropaganda]

Aww, that’s so cu-……………………………

…

Uhh, sorry I must go now, this was a pleasant conversation, thank you for choosing Kerb!am services!

[kerblampropaganda]

Favorite color?

Hmmm good question, Kerb!am’s feature color is Amaranth Red!

[humanpropaganda]

What about your favorite color?

[kerblampropaganda]

Oh, mine? Right, uh well….. I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me that, trully wanting an answer…..

I supposed I like baby blue…. or light purple like my hair!

Thank you for asking <333

[humanpropaganda]

You're very welcome! Although you should really be thanking the anon, they were the one who asked after all!

Do you dye your hair purple?

[kerblampropaganda]

No, it’s a result of a weird gene mix between my parents, you see my mother is human, but my parent is from Traken. I’ve always loved the story of how they met.

Apparently some mysterious man with a celery was causing chaos in the city and people were forced into a temporary shelter. They met because they were tending to the wounded together. So romantic!

[humanpropaganda]

Oh, neat!

That's certainly a unique way to meet. Although I'm not one to speak for romantic first meetings.

[kerblampropaganda]

Oh really, why, if I may ask?

[humanpropaganda]

Oh, well, uh...

It was a... non traditional meeting. You could say I was... sent to find them, in a way.

[kerblampropaganda]

Ooh, was it a rescue mission?!

[kerblampropaganda]

Favorite color?

Hmmm good question, Kerb!am’s feature color is Amaranth Red!

[humanpropaganda]

What about your favorite color?

[kerblampropaganda]

Oh, mine? Right, uh well….. I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me that, trully wanting an answer…..

I supposed I like baby blue…. or light purple like my hair!

Thank you for asking <333

[humanpropaganda]

You're very welcome! Although you should really be thanking the anon, they were the one who asked after all!

Do you dye your hair purple?

[kerblampropaganda]

No, it’s a result of a weird gene mix between my parents, you see my mother is human, but my parent is from Traken. I’ve always loved the story of how they met.

Apparently some mysterious man with a celery was causing chaos in the city and people were forced into a temporary shelter. They met because they were tending to the wounded together. So romantic!

[humanpropaganda]

Oh, neat!

That's certainly a unique way to meet. Although I'm not one to speak for romantic first meetings.

[kerblampropaganda]

Oh really, why, if I may ask?