if there's a key, then there must also be a locke

fandom stuff, politics, writing, space, miscellany - this page is honestly 95% reblogs because my social anxiety is honestly even worse online than it is in person

[riverlarking]

[aprilslady-deactivated20181029]

That’s it. The best version of the meme. We’ve done it lads

[wilwheaton]

Keep punching Nazis.

[fuckingconversations]

Why this chart is bullshit:

Heat pits just say a snake hunts for warm-blooded prey. 

Slit pupils help snakes precisely judge distance for an ambush, while round pupils are for active foraging + chase-hunting. Like, garter snakes root around for crickets and worms and fish, while pythons wait for a mouse and STRIKE! Thus:Round vs Slit pupil. 

Round snoot has nothing to do with anything. 

Y’all shouldn’t grab a snake to check its tail scutes anyway, that’s dumb af.

Ball Pythons have chubby cheeks ‘cause they have to open their mouths real wide to swallow big things, and that’s where their muscles go. Small-mouthed snakes don’t need as much slurping power. 

Coral snakes [pictured above] have the second-strongest venom of any snake, but they have round eyes, no heat pits, a round snout, and no retractable fangs. 

The average person can’t bloody tell what’s a heat pit vs a nostril. Here’s pictures of the illustrated snakes above. They’re too damn close in appearance, and their markings are super similar, and they both swim and stay in the shadows so if you’re in an area where cottonmouths live, and you see a dark brown-to-black snake, just leave it the fuck alone! 

This is a spitting cobra when it doesn’t have its hood up. Pretty chill brassy bro, right? WRONG! This sucker will spit venom in your eyes from 6 feet away! 

BLARGHHHSSST~ 

What a cute slithery noodle, right? Friend-shaped head and neck,round pupil, no heat pits - we good, right? 

Hahaha WRONG! That’s the Inland Taipan, literally the most deadly snake on this bitch of an earth. One bite’s worth of venom is enough to kill 100 fully grown men. It makes your kidneys fail while your skeletal muscle falls apart and you’re vomiting and seizing even as your blood thickens and forms massive clots. So yeah. This slithery beauty is a DO NOT APPROACH! 

Woah Look at those heat pits! Slit-thin eyes! Spooky af, right?

Nah bro, that’s an emerald tree boa. They just wanna eat birds and sit in a tree all day. 

Snoozin’ friendo~

Anyway, snakes are a varied species and the illustrated infographic being passed around is total bullshit.  

Don’t approach strange snakes. 

Don’t approach a snake unless you’re 100000% certain it’s the type of snake you think it is, and you have solid knowledge of all the types of snakes in your area. Just leave the wild noodles alone. 

[greelin]

“that’s the spirit” i say as i gesture to the spirit that’s been haunting my home for years. when will they leave or start contributing to the household by doing something like helping with laundry. when will they pay rent

[misbehavingmaiar]

Update: Sauron is not afraid of hobbits. He was unaware that hobbits existed up until very recently.  he literally did not have time to be afraid of them, they went from a 0 to 100 threat level in twenty seconds. There he was, minding his own business worrying about the usual Elves and Men when suddenly these kids are on his lawn and now he’s dead, like just; 

What did— who– 

did I just get one-shotted by an infant how is this occurring 

[val-ritz]

Honestly I have to love this whole thought process that the Fellowship must have cultivated in Sauron, like…

“These children have found the Ring! But they’re taking it to the elves, of course. I will simply have to catch them on the way.”

“Well, the elves are still not to be trifled with, it seems. It looks as though they have a group of intrepid heroes, how cute! Wait, who’s leading them? Aw, hell.”

“OKAY! Olorin’s out of the way, and now I can finally kill them all and reclaim the- OH DAMMIT, IT’S IN LOTHLORIEN.”

“Well, okay. They’ve taken it onward. Curunir says one of the halflings is still carrying the ring, so he’s going to capture them and we’ll see how this develops. Thankfully Olorin’s still out of the picture and their little group just shattered into pieces, so that’s one less thing to worry about.”

“Aaaaaand Curunir shat the bed. Excellent. Trees, who would have thought? Okay, so we’re back to plan A: conquer Gondor, because if the Ring’s going to be anywhere, it’ll be there.”

“Wait, who’s on the– Isildur’s WHAT? Ohhhh. Ohohoho. Oh now everything makes sense. Isildur’s Heir is back, and he’s here being all prideful again. That’s fine. Really. I’ll just crush him and his kingdom, and then nobody can stop me!”

“WHAT? FUCKING WHAT? THEY SENT HIM BACK? Ugh, alright, alright, I’m cool, I’m fine. He’s still got that stupid wizard costume on, and I’m still stronger than he ever was. It’s not like he can come toe to toe with me, even if he does have an army behind him. This’ll be fine.”

“They’re… actually marching on the Black Gate? Sweet lord, I didn’t think they’d actually do it! This is perfect, everyone’s right here! Olorin, the human princeling, most of the remaining fighting forces of Men, all I have to do is kill them now and– Wait. Someone just put on the Ring. Someone just– That’s a halfling. They’re inside the mouNTAIN OH GOD NAZGUL GO GO G–”

[misbehavingmaiar]

…aaaaaand curtain.

[absynthe--minded]

you can laugh but that is literally what happened

[arty-ari]

This is the single best brief summary I have ever seen of the entire point of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

[sistertaxon]

when you drive your chevy to the levee but the levee is dry and you see the good old boys drinking whiskey and rye

[nocontextgoodplace]

[thatsthat24]

If I Was a Wizard Dad, Probably… ⚡️

[cat-lover-1001]

🌺Spring🌺 cats with 👑 🌺 🌺🌸🌼🌺🌸🌼🌺🌸🌼🌺

[cool-critters]

Dirona albolineata

Dirona albolineata is a species of sea slug, an Eastern Pacific Ocean nudibranch, a marine, opisthobranch gastropod mollusk in the family Dironidae. This species feeds on bryozoans.This species, like others in the genus, is translucent with large, broad cerata. The color varies from white through rose pink to a rufus shade. They are carnivores that feed mostly on small crustaceans and snails, and can grow to be 180 mm in length. This species occurs in the Eastern Pacific Ocean from Alaska to San Diego, California.

photo credits: Flaming April, Dan Hershman

[abandonedandurbex]

Shipwreck in the Red Sea [2252x3580] (x-post from /r/Travel_HD)

[porterr-robinson]

[slumberinggirl-deactivated20210]

Oh my god

[gloriousruin-deactivated2018070]

Jesus fuckin Christ..

[listener-blue]

@concentrated-sunshine

[bunjywunjy]

I like how he managed to both destroy a laptop and annoy a hamster in pursuit of reading the newspaper

[la-laborista-republiko]

[a-white-ravenstag]

blocked

[maydei]

I hate to be me but do Hannibal and Will have some sort of sexual tension in canon?

/LAUGHS

ANON. ANON, DEAR ANON. Please watch all of Hannibal, oh my god. 

The number of times that other characters call them married (Murder Husbands. Canon)

the clear romantic allusions (even in the midst of violence against each other)

and the fact that Hannibal is canonically in love with Will Graham

Hannibal is one of the most amazing love stories I’ve ever seen. And Bryan Fuller, Hugh Dancy, and Mads Mikkelsen deliberately wanted it to be that way. 

Sexual tension might be an understatement.

[a-white-ravenstag]

this is a perfect post, thank you

[bugcore-moved-deactivated201902]

Bitch I am LIVING

[bugcore-moved-deactivated201902]

God I love her so much