I 4M TH3 K3Y M4ST3R C0D3R!!!!!1!!1 @keymastercoder - Tumblr Blog

"Nehhh~~~ KMC-samaa~" Lucy called up to the Key Matser, holding her hands behind her back. "Could I ask a favour~~~?"

[Raises eyebrows for a moment, seeming to think something over before pushing his large black-rimmed glasses up further on his nose]

Sure.

'' Why are you making it even more difficult for me to chose!? All the items are cool '' Natsu let out a sigh, and looked at the list. '' I think I go for.... '' Yeah this sure was a hard decision for him. '' The magic cape! ''

[Letting out a low chuckle, the keymastercoder was amused by his statement] Why would I put anything dumb in my game anyway? I obviously would only think of the best of the best for a game I plan to launch and become huge.

Sure. [After the teen clicks at his keyboard briefly, a folded cape materializes in a cloud of pixels in front of Natsu]

Ne KMC guy! Can I also use my event prize to get my powers back?

No because that would require extra work on my part. You may choose any given item in the 1UP Mart that already exists within in-- In other words, in case you didn't get that, you can't have anything from your world, but you can have anything listed and already existing within the game.

If you want to see what's in there, Pinky, you can check [here].

Lucy feels sort'a violated as the teenager observed her, a sweat drop falling, until he accepted. "Yes! Deal! Though I'm not all too happy about having to by them back, this'll have to do!"

[snorts in amusement] That's how it works around here. I mean, who ever heard of a video game that just gives people their new level-up powers without any experience or money? That'd be dumb. [begins actively munching on more of his cheetos and rolls his eyes] Yeah, 'guess it will.

"WHA?! 9000?! How about 7000?" Lucy asked pleadingly. "Pretty please?"

Why should I? Because you're a pretty blonde girl? I don't just give things away. You have to earn your powers around here, du-- [stops himself and leans forward, closer to his computer screen as if he's getting a good look at her. The teen lets out a huff and grabs the bag of cheetos by his desk]

Fine. 7000CY.

[he takes a cheeto and munches on it, waving the next one in the air as he talks] So it's a deal then?

"H-Hey!" Lucy waves her arms to get the Key Master's attention. "What's this about me having to BUY back my keys?! Do you have any idea how much they cost me originally?! Like, LOTS of money and nearly my life!" The blonde exclaimed before sighing. "How much to do I have to pay to get back each of my keys?"

[With a groan, the screen clicks onto the grumpy teenager. He has bags under his cold eyes and his fat head was leaning on his pudgy hand]

Uh yeah, so if it costed you a lot of money in your world, I guess that means they're worth a lot. [sigh] How's 9000CY?

Ushishi, of course! -Points to the "yes".-

[After yes is chosen, your currency is reduced by 3000CY, and on the counter in front of you, Mink materializes in a cloud of pixels. The robot's screen flashes to an oddly specific message that reads, "Thank you, and we hope you buy from us again, Sushi-Gargler," and then back to the list of items available in the 1UP Mart.]

((1UP Mart Negotiation)) Ne, KMC~ Long time, huh? I bet you had a huge pimple off your back while I was gone, ushishishi, it's going to grow back, now that I'm here again~ -Grins.- But that's not what I came here for. I want Mink back. How much are you going to make me pay for him? I don't care about his powers just yet, I just want him back.

.........

I thought we decided on 3000CY for Mink with no powers? The powers will cost 2000CY for you to buy them back.

[lets out an angry huff] But I'm thinking about raising my rates on the powers just to piss you off. Anyway...

[The screen on the robot flickers to your amount of currency and a picture of no-powers Mink with "3000CY" under it. In the corner it asks, "Is this what you would like to purchase?" and a selection of yes or no. What will you choose?]

Yo, Key master shit-head. I got some currency, so can I get my guns back? Ya' said they'd be 7500 n'I think I got well over.

Really? [the keymastercoder sounds angry and doesn't quiet believe him]

You should only have 7000CY right now, shit-head. The only person with over that amount is our winner of the last challenge. DUH.

[grumbles] But if you say you have that much, I guess I'll give it to you.. even if you stole it or whatever.

[The screen on the robot in the one up mart shows Badou's current amount of currency, and reduces it by 7500CY. Moment later, his guns appear on the table in from of him.]

sounds good enough to me so how does this even work do i give you the cash or the freaky empty mart down the street

I'm not in the game, you n00b. You can't give me the currency directly. If you listened to me when the 1UP Mart first opened, you'd know that you go there (which in reality is this same blog) and give the monitor-robot the correct amount of currency and your item will materialize on the counter in front of you. But only if you have enough currency.

how much for caledscratch broken or not i dont give much of a fuck i just want it back

It's a fairly powerful weapon, correct?

9000CY.

Can I buy my surgical tools back now?

Yeah, and I think I decided on 4000CY since they have no magical properties?

[The screen on the robot in the 1UP Mart flickers from the picture of the keymastercoder, and to your current amount of currency. As the numbers reduce by 4000CY, your surgical tools materialize in a cloud of pixels in front of you. The simple message of "Thank you for your purchase" appears on the screen before turning back into the list of items available in the 1UP Mart.]

redeyedsurgeon:

[[KMC: Now THAT'S what I'm talking about.

Taking an axe from a Villain, stealing a scalpel from a defeated monster, and PUTTING IN A GOOD FIGHT.

That's a good video game fight. You pick up shit and use it to your advantage, all the while keeping on your feet and going in for the kill!

Yeah, you might have lost the battle, but I'll give you the prize anyway. I was most impressed with your battle, and I like your dynamic as a Neutral character.

Here's your 6000CY!! ]]

CR-S01 was not in the best condition by the time he reached what was roughly the center of the maze. Bruised and beaten from run-ins with zombies and trolls, not to mention tired from running for so long without a break, he was just glad he’d made it to the center of the maze. Hopefully he’d win this upcoming battle… or at least get out alive.

Approaching the door to the very center of the maze cautiously, CR-S01 squinted into the darkness. He half-expected scary music to begin playing at any moment; like almost every other child of his generation, he had played video games from time to time, and like almost every other child of his generation, he had absconded immediately as soon as the scary music had begun to play. He opened the door and entered, looking around cautiously. The arena that he was to fight the wolfbeast in reminded him slightly of the final boss’s room in a Zelda game. It was dark and circular, with cobwebs between the ceiling and the walls, and gave off a creepy air.

The door that he had entered through slammed shut, and CR realized belatedly that this time, he couldn’t run. There was no pausing this game and coming back later, and there was a chance that there wouldn’t be a “restart” option, either… As a child, he’d often wanted to be in a video game, but now that he was an adult trapped in a video game, he was finding that it wasn’t quite as cool as he had thought it would be.

The music began; it wasn’t quite as scary as he’d expected, but it was still pretty bad. A chill ran down his spine as the wolfbeast materialized, and the background music escalated to a thrilling pitch. “This is the final battle. Let’s begin!” he said bravely, brandishing Suwako’s axe at the wolfbeast. As soon as he finished speaking, the wolfbeast charged straight at him. The surgeon gasped and dove out of the way, holding tightly to his axe. I hope that Suwako’s okay… Her bow’s gone, and I’ve got her axe. All she’s got are a few arrows, and those won’t do much against a beast of this size…!

“Ngh!” The wolfbeast’s claws raked at his ribcage, and he clutched at his side reflexively, dropping the axe. All right, stop thinking and fight, bofo! Pendejo, go already! a little voice that sounded a lot like Maria screamed in his head. Taking her advice, CR stumbled to his feet again and picked up the axe. Biting back a scream of pain, he swung the axe. It lodged in the wolfbeast’s leg, and he stumbled back a few paces while it reeled.

He grabbed the axe again with one hand and began to circle the wolfbeast warily. The wolfbeast eyed him hungrily, as if thinking about how good CR would taste. He felt in his pocket with his other hand, looking for his other weapon— Ah, there it is! He pulled the zombie scientist’s scalpel from his pocket with his other hand and glared menacingly at his opponent. Unaffected by the glare, the wolfbeast charged again; CR sidestepped again and attempted to stab at it with the scalpel.

As was slightly expected, he missed. He did, however, shave off a bit of the wolfbeast’s fur. The wolfbeast, now more irked than ever, charged at him again. Squeezing his eyes shut, CR stayed put and swung his axe blindly. The solid shluuuuurk of his axe meeting flesh made him open his eyes; a very, very angry wolfbeast met his eyes. His axe’s blade had lodged in its chest, and the wolfbeast did not exactly look like it was ready to forgive him for that.

So he stabbed it with the scalpel (which had a short blade, so it didn’t do much damage), grabbed his axe, and backed as far away as he could. With the scalpel protruding from its chest, the wolfbeast ran at him again. Fatigued and injured, CR was unable to sidestep in time this time around, and the wolfbeast tackled him to the ground. It was rather heavy, and it knocked the wind out of him. The axe flew to the side, and the wolfbeast looked down into his red eyes.

Once CR was able to fill his lungs with air again, he felt the beast’s hot, stinky breath on his face, wrinkled his nose, and spoke. “Er, I concede. You’re simply too strong for me.”

“…Please don’t eat me.”

#redeyedsurgeon

firedragonslayer: Natsu vs Giant Wolf-Beast

[[KMC: CONGRADULATIONS ON BEING THE ONLY DOUCHEBAG WHO ACTUALLY DEFEATED THE BEAST!

Unfortunately for you, I was grading on something other than if you defeated it. I needed to know how you're going to flesh out your role, and how entertaining of a character you can be too.

Regardless, I'll give you your 4000CY, and any existing item in the 1UP Mart for free. You deserve something for actually defeating the beast. ]]

Natsu was rushing towards the center of the labyrinth; he totally had no idea where Kida went. Damn it all….. ‘’ Oi! Wolf! Where are you!? ‘’ He shouted as he kept running, he was almost there he almost reached the center! Only he didn’t notice the ground under him was quite wet….so he slipped and rolled on the ground and then hit a wall. What a great start… The wolf turned around and looked at Natsu, ready to attack. Natsu standed up and gave the wolf a questioning look. ‘’ I’m looking for a giant wolf, have you seen him? ‘’ He was expecting that the wolf was much bigger then this wolf, although this wolf was pretty big.

The wolf pointed towards a direction. ‘’ Oh thanks! ‘’ He said as he turned towards that direction the wolf pointed too, of course this was a trap and the wolf attacked him from behind and sended Natsu flying at the wall.

*CRASH*

Seriously…he could be such failure sometimes. Natsu rubbed the back of his head and turned towards the wolf. ‘’ So you’re the one I have to beat huh….’’ Then he turned serious. ‘’ Listen, I’ll beat you! ‘’ He rushed towards the wolf, jumped and then threw a punsh at the wolf. It was impossible for Natsu to use his bow, since he gave it to Kida instead, only he kept one arrow.

The fight sure took a while, Natsu was on the losing side this time, and he had to think of a plan but what?

What should I do? Use a roar? Or maybe…….!!!

He had a plan! It was gonna work for sure…or at least so he hoped.

Natsu jumped in the air and landed on the back of the wolf ‘’ Now I have you! ‘’

*tickle tickle*

He started to tickle the wolf, yet this plan also failed which leaded as result he got send flying again. Oh how embarrassed Igneel must be now….his ‘son’ getting beaten up by a wolf like that. Natsu had to think of a plan and fast too, he looked at the arrow in his hand and then at the wolf. ‘’ This will be my last chance ‘’ He runs towards the wolf and uses the arrow to hit the wolf, at the same time the wolf hit Natsu in his stomach. Natsu falls on the ground and passes out, but he did it, he beated the wolf. Now Natsu is off to dreaming land, having a weird dream about catgirls…..no idea where that came from.

#firedragonslayer

nativefaith:

[[KMC: Panty shots.... ripped skirts and...

Okay, that was a pretty good fight. Not how I imaged a Villain, but an interesting dynamic no less. Heh, I kind of like it actually, even if you completely wimped out at the end.

You still only get 4000CY though. ]]

After a while stuck in this maze, even with the fact that they don't exactly know where they were, CR-S01 and Suwako could probably tell that they were very close to their target. It's like a little game where you just know that you were about to face the final boss. Except that this wasn't really little considering the amount of death-facing situations they had.

Even armed like this, at least one them knew that this might not be enough to beat that rumored 'Wolf Beast'. Well, not if this were to happen at the beginning of this event. They were ready. You could say that their experience points had went up really far since they just entered the lab.

Their clothes were ripped to cover up wounds, and their faces were covered with crimson war face paint... or at least that was Suwako's idea for a while. She got too caught up the moment you could say. CR on the other hand was against that idea. And even though the monsters were coded, they were still mutaded weird creatures that may have had weird things injected in their blood. So in the end, they didn't go along with that silly plan.

"Hey CR, when did the hallway become to tiny..?"

...

No answer.

"Oh right. We split up earlier. How could I forget... Hahah." She yawned loudly, perhaps tired of all of this already.

She turned around and there was a door in front of her. "When did this.. Oh no. Don't tell me." Taking an arrow on each hand, she readied herself and kicked the door open. That was her initial plan anyway. As she got into her stance her door was sliced open and a giant paw with sharp claws swung just above her hat. She rolled herself backwards and stood back up immediately. "THE HELL?!" The walls surrounding her collapsed, revealing a place that looked like a fighting arena which may or may not resemble an ancient Roman arena. "I... This is.. interesting." She muttered, though that caught her off guard. "Ah?" The wolf beast charged at her, and she reacted, stepping back as its claws barely missed her face. "Aaaah! Silly dog. The only other dog I knew was a good guard on the mountains. You think you can take down that easily?"

She jumped up in the air, and as a god with frog tendencies, her jump was quite a high one. The wolf beast though, reacted fast and grabbed her on the leg and let Suwako hang upside down. It looked like small child who just caught something fascinating, cocking its head to the side.

“Bad dog! Baaaaad dog! Let me down!! My underwear IS SHOWING!!!!” She complained, trying to hold her skirt up, embarrassed. That’s when she noticed the content of her bag falling out. “Oh.. no. Aak!” If there was one thing she didn’t want to lose it was probably her hat. It was part of her attire, and it was how most of the people she knew these days recognized her. She quickly held onto her hat as it almost fell off. “Phew that was a close one.” She sighed. She didn’t really care about her showing underwear anymore. She needed to take this wolf DOWN!

“AWOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The wolf howled and the girl pulled the sides of her hat over her ears, trying to cover it. She widened her eyes as it took one huge stomp, crushing all the arrows on the ground. “How am I supposed to fight now, wolf? And here I thought I was going to have a glorious festival with all the humans here.” And by festivals, she really meant fights, but that didn’t really matter at the point.

The beast threw her up in the air and opened its mouth, awaiting Suwako as its glorious godly frogilicous dinner tonight. “Ha! A mistake on your part, doggie!” That said, she wasn’t really sure how to avoid that GIANT wolf mouth, and up in the air only gave her a few seconds to think. As she fell into its mouth, she grabbed onto one of its giant teeth, and just right before the wolf closed its mouth, she pulled herself out, jumping out of the creature. Even though she managed to get out of that, her skirt didn’t survive the bite. Sure it didn’t rip her whole clothes, which is good, but now it looked like she was wearing a skimpy, ripped, skirt. Her landing wasn’t the smoothest either.

“This is such a disgrace!!!” She spat, trying to stand up. Her body was covered in dirt, though she was shaking in both fear and excitement. It had been a while since she had this much excitement in a fight. “Look at what you did to my clothes, doggie. You should feel lucky that I can’t summon my lovely snakes.” She stated, even though she knew that the wolf couldn’t probably understand a word she’s saying.

Once again, the wolf howled and it sprinted towards her as if there was no tomorrow. “There is no use for me to fight any further.....” She dropped her bag and took her hat off. Sitting down in a seiza position, she placed her hat right in front of her. “The victory is yours, doggie.”

#nativefaith

gun-smoker: Wolfbeast

[[KMC: ....... so many people RUNNING AWAY! YOU JUST BLINDED IT AND--

Alright, whatever, blinding it was a good idea. Your battle wasn't exceptional though. You mostly ran away.

Here's your 4000CY. ]]

Badou was now wondering aimlessly, trying to find his way out of this dumbass maze. Quick jot note, never go in a maze again. It had felt like forever, and the smoker could'a sworn he was walking around in fucking circles. Where the hell was his partner anyway? God dammit. She had been with him a couple minutes ago--Aw, fuck it. This was really not his day.

N'he didn't expect it to get any better as he heard a loud groal coming from ahead. He's heard a lot of them in this Laboratory, but this groal seemed different. Louder. Much, much, louder. Badou could feel his arms shaking, as he moved forward. It's as if he couldn't stop moving forward,though all he wanted was to run away. Run the fuck ou tand get some cigs er' something. But no, he continued. Soon enough he was facing a corner and was face to face-- or, face to foot, with some sort of monstrosity. A wolf?A fucking huge wolf, to be specific.

" E..Ehe, N-Nice Wolfie? "

He stared up at the monster. It growled, drool oozing from it'smouth. With a loud grunt, the Wolf beast swatted Badou like a flie,having him fly off a couple feet away.

" Fuckin' perfect, I'm bleeding now. Agh.."

Badou spat out the blood from his mouth, and struggled to get back up. Fuck. Was he seriouslygonna die here? Since it didn't seem like he stoood much of a chance.The Wolfbeast roared once again, scaring the living shit out of Badou himself. In a flash, the red-head ran past the Monster, in attempts toflee. But without having to turn he knew it wouldn't be THAT easy.The loud ' stomps! ' of the Beast rung in his ears. He stumbleded tothe ground, the Beast coming in close.

Shit shit shit shit.

The smoker, as quick as he could, got his bow n'arrow, firing at the Wolfbeasts eye. It let out a booming howl and covered it's eye in pain.This was his chance! Badou sprinted off, leaving the howling demon behind. As soon the ringing in his ears stopped, Badou fell to the ground panting.

" Holy fuck. "

#gun-smoker

cosmic-thing: Heeeeyyyyyyyyy, studdy stud-kins~?

[[KMC: Wait, are you...... are you serious right now?

You said yourself, YOU DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO THE CENTER!! YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANYTHING EXTRA WHETHER YOU'LL BE A KITTY GIRL IN A TOWEL FOR ME OR NOT UUGGH -- BE HAPPY WITH YOUR 3000CY! ]]

[pouts and twirls her hair] So... I didn't exactly make it to the middle of your great labyrinth... [sighs and grumbles under her breath about how she probably shouldn't have ran off from Butterscotch so eagerly. She wanted to get to the fucking middle already, you know? She couldn't help but to get a little greedy when the money was on the line.. Oh well, obvious how that one worked out.]

Anyway..

......

HERE'S A PICTURE OF ME IN A TOWEL SHOOTING A MACHINE GUN INSTEAD--!!!

Pretty sweet, riiiiiiiiiight~? Hmm, you can almost see right up the towel too! Hmmmmm, maybe a nice reward would be nice, don't you think? Maybe so you can see more-- [holds her hands up to her head like they're kitty ears, and wiggles her bum] cute kitty-kitty shooting a machine gun in a towel~~~ BUT ONLY IF YOU GIVE ME MY LOVELY BASS BACK! Nnnnyyyyeah, wouldn't that be a sight, huh? Sight seeiiiinnnggggggggg-- what d'ya say? [cue cute desu kitty face]

#cosmic-thing #submission

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I 4M TH3 K3Y M4ST3R C0D3R!!!!!1!!1