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MarcusTransman with a plan to not tell you my full name just in case you're a witch and secretly plotting my demise. Not that I have anything against witches in case you are a witch. If you found this offensive towards witches and you are a witch and now plan to plot my demise I refer you to the beginning of this text.

[suspiciousmammal]

Absolutely fascinated by how the original belgian draft horse, the brabant, just looks like your usual heavy draft horse:

And then American breeders decided to….. improve….. it:

sir that thing looks like it’s made of plastic

[hapalopus]

I feel like American breeders just have a tendency to do this. Behold, the French Percheron vs the American Percheron

The British Shetland Pony vs the American Shetland Pony

And it’s not just horses. Compare the English Cocker Spaniel with the American Cocker Spaniel

[suspiciousmammal]

Nevermind. Forget I ever said anything. I don’t want to talk about the yassified belgians anymore.

[niamhermind]

They’re making them look how Disney would draw them.

[magicalmanhattanproject]

thinking about dr james barry and other historical trans men who were outed against their will and like

not all the trans men could have gotten outed, right?

like im willing to bet that there are quite a few men out there who were buried as men

im glad not to know them

[nitrosplicer]

the archive, when it comes to trans people, records violence.

[mkmonster]

Oh, absolutely! The funeral industry is sooo new relative to the history all of mankind, and previously funerals were performed by family, including handling of the body. A spouse or family member generally wouldn’t go around outing their loved one after their death, so of course most of the people who we would call transgender today went unknown. That’s not even going into cultures where gender was more complicated than just man or woman. Transgender people have always existed and have always been loved and when a person isn’t remarkable in some way they go just like the rest of us. Into the ground and lost to history.

[hwardlaunch]

Fun family story: when my aunt was marrying her wife everyone was really excited but also dreading it because my aunt is known for her insanely long speeches so everyone knew her vows would be like 9 hours long so when it came time for her to say her vows she had a shit ton of cue cards in her hands and even her wife started groaning and my aunt took a deep inhale and then unravelled all the cue cards which were taped together and they all just read ‘HOT DAMN’ in giant letters and those were my aunts vows.

[hwardlaunch]

And now since I officially have permission to use this photo

GET FUCKED

[denkryn]

combat appreciation post ⚔️ for warrior nun s2 aka all the times i audibly gasped in the name of lesbianism

[yennciri]

Olivia Delcán as Sister Camila in WARRIOR NUN Season 2

[bobbiedebruyn]

and i oop- 👀

[memewhore]

[brucebocchi]

maybe he should stop sticking his dick in those very thin lemon slices 🙄

[belethlegwen]

fuckin choked on this tag

[snailandwellmet]

Seinfeld episode where George can't decide whether to stay with a woman who gives amazing strap game but keeps slapping his bald head while they fuck. Meanwhile Jerry and Newman realize they've been in the same polycule for months without realizing and are now getting into lovers spats. Elaine starts an Onlyfans but realizes the only people subscribing are doing so because they are antiquers and her furniture is so old they are marvelling at it and trying to guess each items value. Kramer becomes a twitch streamer, but somehow accidentally sets off a twitch notification noise for every single thing that can happen in his apartment.

[snailandwellmet]

The George plot ends, btw, with him breaking it off with her, getting in bed with someone new strapping him, and he tells Jerry the next day that he didn't finish until she accidentally slapped his head during sex trying to kill a mosquito.

And that revelation is the end of the episode and its never brought up again

[snailandwellmet]

Jerry and Newman's spats get so bad that every other member of the polycule breaks up with them, and this depresses them so much they hesitantly embrace, which is sweet at first, until they begin critiquing each others hug techniques. They both storm off in a huff, resetting for future episodes.

Elaine spends the episode dealing with her pride, upset no one cares about her in her photos. That is until someone tips $1000.00 to get her to pose on her coffee table. She, finally seeing the profit potential in her old furniture, takes a series of photos, specifically with her furniture being the focus of the shots. This, unfortunately, shows the drink on her coffee table not resting on a coaster, and she gets cancelled.

Kramer gets swatted by a 10 year old he banned from his chat but the swat team get accidentally home aloned by the weird set up Kramer has in his place.

[omnybus]

Concept: Baba Yaga house walking around on chicken legs, being followed by one of those plastic Fisher-Price play houses on baby chick legs

[hamletthedane]

Excuse my 15min rush art job, but I just HAD to draw this

[hamletthedane]

Still love this concept. Here’s a redraw that was NOT sketched in 15min while waiting in line at the DMV

[odumb-deactivated20220303]

till deactivation do us part

[flightyfinch]

im so sad this is from a deactivated blog i feel like i just found a heartfelt message in an old locket at a garage sale

[meterapix]

SO ENGLISH ISN’T MY MOM’S FIRST LANGUAGE AND TODAY THERE WAS A SLUG ON THE STEPS AND

[whitepeopletwitter]

[thedreadpiratejames]

the mortifying ordeal of being known by 20,000 bees

[onenicebugperday]

That’s 20,000 new friends!

[disgruntledturtle]

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

[equalistmako]

“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D.”

[seasonoftowers]

Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens - aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.

[people-are-garbage]

well you did ask

[defilerwyrm]

Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.

[mrtacomam]

you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN

[kariachi]

Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 lbs of meat.

[pulltheotheroneithasbellson]

plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.

[blueandbluer]

Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.

[normal-horoscopes]

One of the most important alchemical symbols of Renaissance Christian alchemy was the virgin Mary squeezing her tiddies into a bowl

[normal-horoscopes]

[When.the blood splits from the blessed wounds of Christ / and the holy virgin oppresses her virginal breast, / the milk and the blood flow and mix, / and become the Fountain of Life and the Fountain of Good.]

- Inscription on a painting in the chapel of Brixon, Italy. Supposedly an alchemical diagram. From Mysteries of the Cathedrals.

[normal-horoscopes]

@0reo-speedwagon thank you so much

[headspace-hotel]

oh is that what this is

[basementdemo]

colors // halsey

[cuuno-moved]

i support bi rights. but more relevantly i support bi wrongs

[sunscreenstudies]

Mr Darcy: “My future wife must be elegant and articulate and demuring and beautiful and intelligent and respectful of her station and have the perfect countance for being the lady of the house and be an accomplished woman and-”

Lizzie: *stumbles in wearing mud-covered boots, marches over, and insults him straight to his face*

Mr Darcy: “Never mind, I want that one”