a lesson in the form of hurt
I believe that everyone has to go through some sort of life changing experience to mature and become the person they’re truly meant to be. Let me give you some context.
For about a year and I half, I found myself experiencing this one type of bliss with someone; and when you’re stuck feeling only one type of happiness with only one person, you forget how other types of happiness feels like. And while that may seem safe and enough, it isn’t. It won’t be.
I stayed grounded to only one constant I thought I would never lose, and that is one of the biggest lessons I learned not to do. Before you rely on anyone else to give you happiness, you have to be sure of yourself first. You have to love and prioritize yourself first. So that if this one constant you thought you’d never lose does leave, you can always come back to yourself. Because you’re always going to be all you’ve got. No one knows you better than you, and that is your power.
Listen, I can’t lie to you. I can’t say I was truly satisfied feeling just one kind of happiness because I wasn’t. And I missed being happy by myself, I missed being happy with my friends. I knew I was going down a path I didn’t want to take and despite always having one foot out the door, I never made the last push I needed to put myself first, to just get up and leave.
I don’t blame anyone for ultimately ending up hurt in the end. I was going to learn and it was going to be the hard way.
I read a tweet once that said, “If I were given the chance to go back to the past to give my old self advice, I wouldn’t. She’ll live.” and while at first I couldn’t understand how you wouldn’t be willing to save yourself from being hurt, I see what she meant now and I agree. If I could go back to the past to give my old self advice, I wouldn’t. Because without all the past hurt and sadness I felt and experienced, I wouldn’t be the person I am now. I had to go through all these messy feelings of anger and hurt and betrayal to learn to love myself like how I do now.
A few months ago, the universe gave me a lesson in the form of hurt and heartbreak. And even though for awhile it really didn’t seem clear to me where to go from there, I accepted my diamonds wrapped in barbed wire with grace. I nurtured it, hugged the wires and cared for it as much as it hurt. And slowly, after letting myself bleed from the hurt, the wire fell away and showed me the beautiful, irreplaceable gift the universe gave me — the art of self love.
I see it now, universe. I’ve never been so thankful to have felt so hurt and broken if it meant it would lead to this. If being hurt would mean leading to the art of self love and reliance, happiness with myself and my solidarity, I would go through it again and again if it meant leading to becoming this better version of myself.
To you, reading this: If the universe gives you hurt, take it with grace. Let it change you. Even if the reason may still seem a bit blurry and unclear, believe that bad days will always lead you to better days.
Here’s to taking loss and change in stride. Write you again soon.
prguitarman
titsay
origamiaround
andulkaphoto
tangentwithtanner
turnnoffyourmind
