(Sorry this is super cheesy, but Christmas season has started which means I spend most of my time watching Love Actually and being sappy) ~~~ It’s four am, the band and crew have started to drift off to separate beds and couches. It's early days, no hotels, just the hard comfort of sleeping on someone's pinewood floors. Brian and Mat are sitting on the lawn, and Brian's sipping his Pabst blue which is probably gross and lukewarm by now. His fingertips beat against the aluminium of the can and he hums into the lonely grey streets. Mat hesitantly asks, “Hey Bri, what if it doesn't all work out?” Brian glances over, just for a moment, at Mat's face obscured by the shadows cast by the porch light. “What do you mean?” Brian asks. Mat knows exactly what he means. What he's asking is, what if the band doesn't make it big enough to survive on the money? What if we have to go back to our regular jobs? I'll be a landscaper again, and you’ll pack groceries in the local store. Will you go back to college? Will you leave me again? Will you blame yourself for everything? Or maybe, you'll blame me. Will we still hang out in my mom's basement all the time like we used to? And most of all, will you still love me the way you do now? There's a silence, as all these questions race through Mat’s head, battling with his mind not to let them slip. Brian nudges Mat with his elbow, “Matty, what do you mean?” Mat snaps back to attention, forcing the thoughts from his head. Blocking their path, swatting them away from his mouth, frightening them off. He refuses to let them waltz out between his teeth, setting fire to everything. He reminds himself how to smile, forces the faint grin onto his face, and shakes his head. “Nothing Bri, I don't know what I was talking about,” he says quickly. Brian has a confused look on his face, or maybe it's concern. But he doesn't push for an answer. He just pulls Mat closer, and kisses his forehead. “We’re going to be just fine,” Brian says, barely above a whisper.
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