"I need you" is arguably WAY MORE crazy then "I love you" or even "I want you" like he seriously said I NEED YOU on his knees in front a man who was beating him to death. Like what. Actually what was happening.
Tw: maybe angst? Idk honestly if this counts. Gn!reader
• Castiel knew he shouldn't look forward to it. He couldn't help himself thinking about it.
• The hunt was bad. Silence was thick in the impala. Neither Dean nor you were talking.
• Guilt was eating at all of them. At Cas too. But there still was something happy in him.
• Because you would pull both of them into bed with you. To cuddle you.
• You had started this months back, at a particular bad hunt. Asked both of them to stay with you for the night.
• It felt akward at first, but soon it was the most comfort that any of them could get.
• It became a habit since then.
• After every bad hunt you'd pull them to the next sleeping area.
• Cas wished he could cuddle both of you more often, but was to afraid to ask.
• Unsure how to portray his feelings about the need to have you both close. Close, that wasn't when you were in danger, or hunting. Close, just for comfort.
• So when a hunt went bad, he couldn't help but feel a tad bit happy.
• After what felt too long Dean pulled into the parking lot of the motel they stayed at.
• When they entered the room, Cas already felt your hand grabbing his sleeve.
• But before you could touched Deans sleeve.
• "I need a beer", and off he was. Out of reach.
• Castiel wasn't sure what to do. This isn't what usually happens. Worse he felt you letting go of his sleeve.
• He looked at you, but your expression was unreadable.
• "You guys want one?", Dean asked from the fridge.
• You shook your head, "no, I'm just gonna go sleep." , Dean just nodded and you went for one of the beds.
• Cas looked between you two. Nothing seemed to be going right. This wasn't how this was supposed to to go.
• Dean plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV.
• Cas was quick to go to him. "I think they'd feel better, if we.. comfort them."
• Dean sighed, "yeah? I'll feel better if I drink a couple of beers, so?", he looked half annoyed at Cas, he knew not to take it to heart, it still hurt him.
• "Cas it's fine.", you called from the bed. Having gotten half up again to watch him.
• "See? No problem", Dean replied as he turned his attention back to the TV.
• You smiled at the angel before laying back down again.
• In Castiels head wheals are spinning. His grace felt torn, he was unsure what to do.
• He continued watching you for a while. Wanting to lay next to you. You wouldn't mind right? You grabbed his sleeve for that reason, right?
• But before he could go, a voice interrupted him. "You remember it's creepy to stare at people while there sleeping?", Dean didn't look up at him.
• He nodded before slowly settling down on the couch. Too far away from Dean.
• All of this felt wrong to the angel. He could only hope that next time would be diffrent.
Everything was bright. Light that seemed to had no source, as it was it’s own source. It stretched endlessly around you til you couldn’t see the end of it. An uncountable number of eyes seemed to be moving in circles. On golden things like halos. Their movement seemed to tick like time. Their gaze in every direction, and some on you.
A undescrible mixture of colors and shapes seemed to envelope you. Wing-like apandges spread around, one curling closer to you, as if to shield you. Everything seemed to be moving and standing still at the same time. What felt like electricity ran through your veins. Your blood seemed to boil and freeze at the same time.
Tears streamed down your eyes, as they burned with seeing everything around them. In you ear ringing was a constant. Distant bells could be heard. Voices too far to understand what they’re saying, echoing all around you. You could smell flowers, smoke and something that reminded you of home.
Everything seemed to go on for so long. Moving in slowmotion. However it ended too quickly. All those impression flooding through you, through your soul in matter of seconds. But slow, like it took years.
The room looked much darker after that. You eyes could barely make out the people around you. Still having remains of the shapes they saw stuck in them, shifting in diffrent colours. The hard cement floor was rough under your knees, but you could feel it barely. All of it seemed to far away from you. You didn’t hear Dean yelling for you, nor when Sam shook you.
Castiel who thinks you’re more of an angel than he is.
Castiel who always accidentally looks above your head expecting a halo instead of looking at your eyes. He can see them on other angels, and it takes a minute for him to register why yours are missing. Even when he does look at your eyes it’s like he’s still searching for that bright light of grace inside you. Sometimes he gets frustrated that he can’t see it so he puts his head on your chest to hear your deeply human heartbeat.
Castiel who makes room for you to stretch your wings in bed but forgets you have none. He rests next to you on couches, beds, and in the back of Baby, always leaning a bit forward expecting big feathery wings tangling with his. He huffs with slight embarrassment at his posture when you softly correct him, and settles on getting tangled in each other’s arms instead.
Castiel who murmurs to you lovingly in Enochian thinking you know every language like the rest of the angels. When you questioningly hum after his words, he clears his throat with a “Oh, right. Humans.” He is quite set on teaching you a romantic thing or two when you have a free moment.
Castiel who is shocked when you tell him you don’t have an angel blade. He thought you’d lost yours in a fight, or that one of the boys borrowed it for a hunt. You were more of a shotgun user anyway.
Castiel who scrunches his nose in confusion when he sees you eating with the boys because angels don’t eat. He’d roam around you during mealtimes, watching the steam of your food or eyeing your lips as you eat. He started associating the taste of diner cheesecake with your kisses. He does appreciate your preference for jelly over jam, he can sense the ‘better’ particles in the air.
Castiel who tells stories from thousands of years ago like they were yesterday, thinking you’d recall living through them too. He’d have on a thousand yard squint, nose scrunched, asking if you remember watching dodo birds get hunted to extinction. You tell him again the year you were born, that you couldn’t have seen them. It prompts a brief trip to his lap, where you sit with your arms around his neck while he reads you Wikipedia articles about dodo birds (while he’s also correcting the information on the site).
I write this again, even though I really hope tumblr just brings back my post that got half deleted, i doubt it.
This will be all over the place. I’m only at season 10, so this might just be very fanon. ( I mean it obviously is).
As many people do, I think about the angels and what their wings would look like. Obviously most humans cannot percieve these properly. However (almost) anything goes in a headcanon and logic doesn’t make my brain stop thinking about these things.
For some time I always thought about Michaels wings as white with blue, that somehow have a metallic look to it. Which lead to the bad poem that I wrote. Now I didn’t have a finalised version of what those wings actually look like, so it always changed.
But yesterday I saw a certain type of bird that made me realise what those could look like.
Pigeon.
Or Columbidae is probably the better word? According to the internet: (Wikipedia)
There is no destinction between dove and pigeon, or at least not one that seem consistent. Which is enough for me. In my native language they also go by the same name.So you might wonder why I even bring this up, or not.
Doves tend to habe a religious meaning. ? Of course not just that, but thats what I’m focusing on. (Wikipedia)
White doves specifically. Which makes sense with the color association that white has.
I headcanon that Michaels wings were white in the beginning, maybe due to his devotion and purity? But maybe they didn’t stay that way. Being trapped in hell all those years, in the cage. He grew closer to a certain human. (Yes I got spoilered for that one). So maybe they changed when they started to get close.
First I find it intresting that it seem that the domesticated pigeon is a descendant of the rock dove. Doves that turned into pigeon. (Again just trying to make it clear that they’re close) I’m not saying that Adam domesticated Michael, because I don’t think that happend. (Just saw that one Diner scene a bit so I could be wrong). More that domesticated, in this, means also becoming closer to humans. Just like Michael did to adam.
On top of that, the neck feathers of these pigeons also have a metallic look to it. (Not blue, but close enough). I also don’t think he completly lost all his white feathers. More turned into a mix.
I see these pigeons sometimes and always find their coat (?) so intresting. But escentially I imagine Michaels wings now as mixed dove/pigeon wings.
Thanks for anybody that decided to read this mess, also I apoligize for all the mistakes that are probably in here. You can probably tell that this wasn’t intense research, more so a few google searches, umm, Wikipedia searches? This obviously means that I could have gotten things terribly wrong. Anyway bye bye.
The cold crept around. His presence was comforting in an awful way. The way it feels to relapse after trying so hard to stay clean. A harmful comfort. Pain that was more familiar than friends. Small puffs of air clouded the air. His wings covered the rest. No matter the intention, Lucifer will find a way to tempt. Never lies, but words layered with honey nonetheless. The cold seeped into bones, making flesh feel numb. But it was known. Familiar. Comfort.
Crowley looked at his hellhound. Or what used to be a hellhound. The soul predator, that used to cause fears amongst humans was now one of them. Confusion apparent in their face as they watched their fingers move. With a frown he turned back to the witch. "Undo this, now!", but in return she just laughed. With a grin she replied, "well, I guess if you want your dog back. You should do as I say." If Crowleys frown could get any bigger it would. With a fling of his frist he took care of the witch. Confident that he could return his hellhound to their former glory by himself. Afterall, he did have knowledge in the magic department.
While shaking his head he looked back at his pet. Their attention now on their feet. "[Name]!", with this simple command, they looked up at him. Waiting for his orders. Crowley narrowed his eyes, he had to make sure that his hellhound would not start learning human behaviour. This could only cause problems with the jobs they had to carry out later. Which means he had to get them to hell.
-:-:-:-
Crowley sat on a red velvet couch, having his favourite scotch in one hand, while the other rested on his knee. His fingers tipping slightly, while he wondered how he undo the spell. He had searched every book he had, asked almost everyone he knew, that could help. He even tried a few, but none of them seemed to work. Their behaviour was still very reminiscent of their hellhound life. Currently laying in front of his feet, like they used to do. Getting them into a bath and wearing clothes was a struggle. But different now, was the fact that they were actually asleep. Hellhounds don't sleep, they don't need to.
Juliette, although wary at first, still acted the same towards them. She watched the other curiously, probably taking in the strange behaviour. Crowleys hand went to pet Juliette. "I know, I know. I will fix this. I have to." His eyes never left [Name]. He didn't want to imagine the things that could happen if his pet got into the wrong hands. Hellhounds were loyal to the death, but becoming human could change that. He wasn't going to find that out. The things that hellhound knew about hell, knew about him, could put him in difficult situation.
-:-:-:-
At least that was the plan. But they still knew how to get from hell to earth, and apparently their urge to gather souls was still there. Which they managed to get, but not without getting noticed by certain hunters. Which ended up with [Name] now tied to a chair.
The two brothers, weren't sure hiw to handle this monster. Sams head buried in books, to find out anything that could help. While Dean watched closely, to make sure that their trashing around didn't get them free.
The humanised hellhound, tried to bite them multiple times. Every chance of communication was out of the question. When they started the case they for sure thought it was a hellhound hound. But after seeing them turn a human to shreds they weren't sure anymore. Dean looked to hus younger brother, they person infront of him seemed to tire themselves out. "What if we just try shooting them?" Sam raised his head and gave a pointed look towards Dean. "I want that..them gone as much as the next person. But that just might anger them. They're obviously some supernatural creature, so killing them as to be a pain." The younger brother just nodded in response. Turning back to look at them. They seemed exhausted, but still growled at him.
The sounds of moving feathers echoed through the dungeon. Announcing the presence of their angel friend. Who immediately looked at [Name]. "Hello.", was his simple and short greeting, said in his usual rough voice. He made his way over to Dean, his Trenchcoat rustling with movement. "What happened?" Sam and Dean were quick to update Castiel on the situation, hoping their feathered friend had answers.
"You were correct. It's a hellhound." The Winchesters looked at him confused, before turning their eyes back to the person. Who watched the angel closely. "Hellhound? That doesn't look like a hellhound to me and I jave seen what they look like!",
"They seem to be under some sort of magic spell. Their body turned human. Underneath all that, is still a hellhound. Which is why they still collected souls. Or why they don't talk. Probably doesn't even know they can.
Sam nodded, while standing up and making his way over to the three. "So, what? The got into trouble with a witch? Wouldn't Crowley or whoever is responsible for them notice? Surely they wouldn't want their hounds to be..." His voice trailed of, trying to make sense of the situation.
Dean shook his head. "Maybe they just got turned? Haven't made their way back to hell yet? If they even can still." He turned and grabbed an angel blade. "Hellhound is hellhound. So it doesn't really matter. We kill it either way.” Sam stepped in between Dean and the human hound. “Wait! If we can get to talk we might be able,-“ Dean wasn’t having it, trying to move around Sam. “No, they probably won’t be able to controll their urges. I will not find out”. His face stern. Castiel put a hand on Deans shoulder, “Dean. I can understand their thoughts a bit. Sam is right, this is usefull. Even if to use them as a leverage. If this is one of Crowleys hellhounds, he probably wants it back.” The looked at eachother for a while, before Dean lowered the blade. “Fine.” His annoyance very clear. Dean turned back to leave the room.
Sam and Castiel both looked back at them, their head hanging. “They’re asleep”, the angels voice was quiet. Sams eyes shifting between them, “So, how do we handle this?”.
“Hellhounds are clever, you can always teach them knew tricks.”
Imagine making a deal with crowley while he was still on human blood.
Instead of your soul he will take your blood as payment. Multiple times. Not too much. But enough.
At first his visits will be brief. Teleporting to you at random times. Taking your blood in syringes and then leaving you again.
Soon tough he will stay longer. His human sides seeking companionship. A weakness he does not want his demons or anybody else know about. Since you are a human unaware of his status, he didn’t have a lot to lose.
Small talk turned into deeper conversations. Simply coming to take your blood turned into staying with you til you recovered. Random gifts will appear.
At one point he will stop taking your blood. You are unaware what actually caused that, but happy with his visits nonetheless.
He will stop being as sentimental, but part of him started to care deeply about you while he was more human, and it didn’t dispear with him getting rid of that side.
The periods of time that he’ll disapear will be longer, but when he is with you. You have his full attention.
At one point he will gift you a hellhound. Giving you the power to see it too. He will claim that the dog just wasn’t fit to do the job. But in reality he wanted to give you a bit of protection while he wasn’t there.
Needless to say, you two will be taking many vacations to diffrent countries, places, whatever. His spoiling will get to a point where you ask him to dile it down a bit.
He will. For a week, before spoiling you more.
Will make sure that the winchester don’t know about you.
I looked confused at him, his goggles slightly reflected the light from behind me. His lover face half was covered my a metal muzzle. His breath slightly escaped from the sides. He had two axes, one was secured at his belt. The other was in his hand, his fingers slightly tensing and relaxing. Like a rythim to keep his senses steady. I looked up at him again. His brown hair looked like it could use a good brush, standing up in all directions. Somehow it was fitting with the rest of him. I was unsure what to do, I couldn’t really speak. His way of standing so still, almost like a predator hunting, was scary. Out here in the forest axes aren’t out of place, but he didn’t seem to chop wood right now. So why would he be holding it? If he lived around here he should know about this cabin being rented and people being here. I tried to keep my breath steady, afraid to show that he was unsettling to me. Before I could think I took a small step back, still focused on him. That seemed to cause a chain reaction in him, suddenly sprinting foward. He was fast, inhumanely fast. My flight instict kicked in and I turned around to also start running. Hoping that in the cabin I could be safe. Despite how old and run down it was.
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