send in your kins i'll judge you

op is invalid and thus most qualifiied to judge

[kin-judgement]

nene yashiro, yamaguchi, kaguya shinomiya, atsushi nakajima, ranpo edogawa, reki kyan, usagi tsukino, marinette dupain-cheng, + silver (twisted wonderland)

first thought “wow this is the most consistent kinlist ive seen in my life” like... improve yourself. also i wonder if you’d be kin with silver the hedgehog - quietly dramatic, powerful, kind to friends, white-blonde hair...

you were or are a “smart kid” student who gets decent grades but only because the idea of failing sends you into fits. i don’t think you actually enjoy the work. i recommend finding something that you can really get passionate about, something that’ll exercise your right brain, something that you can be proud of on a personal level. maybe then you can stop relying on everyone else’s approval. few people live up to your standards - it’s good to have standards but they’re far too high for others and yourself. it’s also okay to be selective with your closest friends, but if you allow flexibility in your outer social circle and forgive people’s faults and ignorance (to a point) you might be introduced to some new wonderful things. 

conclusion: i would ask “are you fucking okay” but i know the answer is no. have some tea and make some sloppy art and maybe you’ll feel better.

sentence: a lifetime’s worth of high school dreams unless you change your ways

[kin-judgement]

may i send multiple kins

Yes!

[kin-judgement]

i'm kin with zelda from the legend of zelda: breath of the wild. judge me op

at first I thought this was a 9/10 but the more I thought about it the more I realized you're probably not as nice as you think you are, and you're constantly telling your friends what's good for them because you genuinely think you know best.

result: 7/10

sentence: time served (because this ask is at least three years old)

I woke up at 2:30 am in a cold sweat thinking someone had submitted azula to this blog so I had to come rescue you from inbox hell. also the way I was doing them before was exhausting so I'd rather just do vibe checks like this one.

[kin-judgement]

i'm kin with zelda from the legend of zelda: breath of the wild. judge me op

at first I thought this was a 9/10 but the more I thought about it the more I realized you're probably not as nice as you think you are, and you're constantly telling your friends what's good for them because you genuinely think you know best.

result: 7/10

sentence: time served (because this ask is at least three years old)

I woke up at 2:30 am in a cold sweat thinking someone had submitted azula to this blog so I had to come rescue you from inbox hell. also the way I was doing them before was exhausting so I'd rather just do vibe checks like this one.

[kin-judgement]

Y'know what, judge me Lalna

bitch. you’re a bitch. 

first off, definitely invalid since this character is the youtube minecraft roleplay persona of a real fucking person. like, yeah, it’s a degree of separation away, but it’s too damn close to the cringe line.

secondly: you kin with a blonde scientist? a science man? the stereotypical all-too-common “crazy mad scientist with secrets who blows shit up”? the edgy lab? the edgy fact that you have clones and “oh no am i the real me or not” and “oh no there’s a clone cOVERED in bLOOD!!!” mother fuck.

god i’d do more specifics but like i can’t remember shit from 2015 and also the wiki page is horribly barren. like, apparently the wiki editors didn’t even care enough to characterize the character.

cons: too close to a real person, mad scientist, killed cats several times and sometimes accidentally, forgetful (locked dying apprentice in a fucking tower), morally questionable. source that’s been cringy for a few years so you’ve had to separate the characters from the actors and run with it.

pros: often drawn as chubby. kind of a good boy? very Aesthetic.

conclusion: naw babe. sorry. not great

sentence: shadow of israphel part 43

[kin-judgement]

gregory from gregory horror show. cast me along the invalids

hey bud?

HEY BUD?

what the FUCK

my first instinct is to throw you in the pit frankly... let’s see if there’s ANYTHING redeemable here devil mouse you deserve a defense

oh woof

hmm.

this is a difficult decision, i will admit. we must Weigh your Sins.

cons: antagonist, disrespectful to others, “a liking for dirty magazines,” kidnaps people and invalidates their individuality, commits actual crimes. the existence of a grandson implies that this mouse has fucked

pros: while not actually pros per se i’d say that some mitigating factors include his treatment by his mother, and his attempt to escape.

a big question here would be to look at the motivations. he feels pressured by his surroundings. he attempts to escape - but is that because he feels guilt over the things he’s done?

hm. Hmm. Neutral Evil.

conclusion: devil mouse

sentence: house arrest

[kin-judgement]

i’m kin with susie deltarune & im a butch lesbian am i valid

oh the dino lesbian? i’ve seen her around. hmm. there has to be Math done here.

undertale kinnies are usually considered less valid, except frisk and variations thereof. however we must take into consideration the fact that deltarune is undertale but fucked around

alright fucking edgy... alright...

this redemption arc from wannabe bad guy to “this guy thinks i’m cool... better be nice to them so they’ll keep thinking i’m cool” is fucking heartbreakingly sweet. however, bullies are Not Great. you kin a bully? you push lil fuckers in the mud? hog the monky bars? really? look inside yourself and question whether you kin them because you’ve had a similar redemption arc. don’t change yourself for people, except when they’re trying to make you a better person, then definitely change.

she also absolutely would die for her friends without question. has a big sense of honor. 

pros: loyal, tank. redemption arc. normally “bad haircut” would be a con but she’s lesbian

cons: bully, fucking gremlin. you eat fucking worms? worms? lil fuckers in dirt? you eat chalk like terezi homestuck? fucker.

conclusion: ant bully the movie but literal

final sentence: bad at video games

[kin-judgement]

I am silver the hedgehog kin. Judge me if you're not a coward.

you think i’m  the coward fuckin broken-ass boss fight telekinetic ass bitch? only a coward uses long-range attacks.

hedgehog man decides to come back 200 years into the past and fix shit. if i asked you, now, what exactly you could do 200 years in the past to fix our world today what are you gonna say? invent a new bank system? kill a dictator’s great-great-great grandparents?

alright i’m crying in the club rn

pros: i cried over the wiki page for this very good boy. is the type to ask for directions in the supermarket. very beautiful. not easily bullied. sonic series pretty much counts for an automatic +50

please teach rouge how emotions work

cons: emotionally unstable, would walk into a den of bears if you asked him nicely. also, this wiki page doesn’t actually say whether he achieves his goals that he went back into the past to do. 

conclusion: uncomfortably attractive. 7/10 needs a therapist

[kin-judgement]

my main kin rn is rouge the bat judge me appropriately o wise one

honestly she’s a better ass-kicking villainess than most grown-up media can make. 

like, hell yeah! god damn! i’d like to see hollywood try!

i’d recommend being aware of your own emotions, and who you’re cutting off. it’s okay to fight dirty but other people have their own lives and emotions. quit stealing from knuckles and start stealing from wall street

pros: sonic character, absolutely powerful, probably true neutral or potentially neutral evil because she’s only out for herself but has helped sonic in the past. lesbian

cons: more obsessed with glittery things than a magpie. also, this was plenty of kids’ first introduction to “furries” if they hadn’t already watched disney’s robin hood. has boobs for some reason. too sexy. Hard to spell “rouge.” Name is a pun between “rouge” and “rogue” because she takes her own side. I don’t know if that’s a negative or a positive.

conclusion: the “too sexy” almost outweighs the “fucking incredible ass-kicker” but i think the odds are in your favor. 

conclusion: unstoppable.

[kin-judgement]

My main kins are Signalman from Gekisou Sentai Carranger and Kamen Rider Build. Please judge me oh great and mighty kin judge

signalman

i looked this up and it’s just fucking power rangers. 

this man is a space traffic controller he’s literally just a traffic light...

pros: lawful neutral, can’t physically break traffic laws, alien, has a family. this man is a father

cons: literally just a fucking traffic light (how are there traffic laws in space, it’s 3 dimensional), i was gonna say “knock off power rangers” but it looks like the power rangers knocked off these guys

conclusion: i’m gonna go with a dad out of 10 here. unfortunately he cannot complete the dad% speedrun because he can’t speed

kamen rider build

first off this looks fucking rad

so that’s incredibly valid as all hell. 

i tried looking this one up and it seems there’s several people who don this radical fucking suit so i can’t make a conclusion on an individual basis however.

this? fucking wild. matt groening step aside no one cares about the futurama formula anymore this is where it’s AT

conclusion: just absolutely radical, powerful 80s vibe but with modern special effects apparently

total conclusion: you have a good and honest heart. im sorry that no one in the goddamn world knows who your kins are when you talk about them

[kin-judgement]

you already know

you want this? you want me to roast you in front of all these fucking people? you want me to tell them you’re political cartoon kin? you want me to tell them you’re a weak chinned bastard man? honestly i can’t imagine the lack of willpower you must have to have given into kinning a fucking stephen colbert political cartoon. i can’t even fucking type the name because i don’t want to bring that kind of fucking shit down upon you.

strength: physically? none. psychological power? infinite.weakness: anything you say can and will be held against you, and absolutely WILL be held against you because any statement you make can be fired back against you by reminding you of your tiny fucking worm place in the world. bitch

thanks for tainting this blog’s first post

[kin-judgement]

rules post

i tell you your vibe and rate you.

i do not give a shit about any “controversial” source although it may be taken into consideration in judgements

appeals may be made

yes you can send in headmates or tulpas or w/e, no i am not the king of definitions

this is a jury of your peers but i am judge and executioner