argh oof ouch @kinet02 - Tumblr Blog

blacksnapdragon

Best things a female character can be are angry, violent and covered with blood.

devilishdescent

>the goblin leaps to attack!

>the goblin misses!

>the goblin has scraped his little knee!

>oh, his little knee!

sillypngs

here. stupid lowres pokemen

silly2tilly

cool ass deer....

swagophile

[siiiiiiigh] i didnt know if i was ever gonna do this, but. i have to. mom. other mom. i.. i'm cute.

mom 1: [GASP]

mom 2: we know, dear. we know.

me: [taken aback] y-you know?! for.. for how long?

mom 1: ssince you were a little girl, baby..

mom 2: i've always had my suspicions.

me: i.. i'm sorry..

mom 2: aw, honey.. its ok.. cute or cool.. we love you all the same.. you don't have to be dope for us to love you

mom 1: y-yeah.. more than just your swag.. you'll always be our little girl..

me: [tearing up] rreally,,?

mom 2: absolutely

mom 1: of course..

me: [ssniffle.. hugging my moms close] tthank you.. tthis is the most yuritastic day of mmy life

mom 2: what

mom 1: excuse me, young lady?

me: my bad

swagophile

me: [talking to my sexy succubus demon general] yeah no im telling you the little hero is definitely one of us. like fuck the prime directive. shes definitely a girl

succubus general: mnnhh..~ yes, she would look much cuter in girls clothing.. ahaha.. i agree completely my infernal queen, mistress of my endless night~ we should definitely crack her egg~

me: wwait no don't say-

my harpy general: [flapping her wings wildly] SSQUAAA? CRACK.. EGG? c.. cchrr.. mmori tell her she can't touch my eggies! tell her mori tell her!!

me: look what you did girl

succubus general: my bad. do you need the blanket

harpy general: bedtime? bedtime?

me: its fine ill just feed her crackers again

harpy general: CRACKERS!!!!!

swagophile

the evil demon queen: Tsk tsk tsk.. Such a stupid hero you are, Mori.. coming all this way.. only for me to humiliate you completely. did you even try?

me: okay that was the idea though. your so sexy. like fuck me up girl boss

demon queen: My my my you are quite the stupid little thing aren't you. You know whay I do to little things like you?

me: no but im desperate to find out

demon queen: I break them. I will crush your spirit, Mori. You will have no will to fight me. You will be nothing but my useless toy.

me: again i dont think youre hearing me lady. like yes please. thats what im allll about

demon queen: You are truly beyond saving, aren't you? You were always destined to fail, one as weak as yourself. Ahaha~ You know, Mori, it's a dog eat dog world out there~ At least you know your place~

me: [holding up a leash and wearing a collar. with big dog ears] woof

demon queen: okay actually how did the goddess pick You to be the hero you're so hopeless

me: i beg to differ your highness. im the luckiest girl in the world

demon queen: whatever. sweep my chambees for me

me: YES MA'AM

swagophile

my friend: [after i said something incrediblg disrespectful] mori that was a really fucked up thing to say. i'm hurt.

me: y-you're hurt?! nnononono!! don't worry! i'll hheal you! with my magic!! [holds my handd out]

my friend: what the fuck mori

me: ggh.. ddon't worry.. pain pain go away.. come again.. nnever!!! i'm gonna heal you!!

my friend: mori dont be a fucking idiot. i meant emotionally. i'm emotionally hur- oh that feels really nice what is that

me: its mmy magic.. hheheh.. i'm healing you..

my friend: mmnhh.. fuck.. mori that feels.. really good...

me: ssee? i'm sorry.. i just.. ugh! i'm so stupid sometimes.. but i'm not gonna let it hurt you! i love you!!

my friend: gghhdfd.. ffuck.. mori.. keep healing me

me: id go ro the ends of the earth for you! you're my friend! and for me.. that means.. everything! i'll never let you be hurt! not even for a second

my friend: oh ffuck i think i'm close

me: [putting my hands down] wait what

my friend: well don't stop.

me: wwhat did you say though

my friend: keep going mori.

me: um;

my friend: mori. i'm hurt.

me: [putting my hands back up and whimpering] i'm sscared,

my friend: ohhhh yeah.. thats better..

me: SEE! I'LL NEVER LET YOU BE HURT- um. ddid you just pee in your pants?

my friend: okay we're friends again

fagstaynight

yeah i dont really like to visit home all too often mostly because of my folks. my mom’s fine but my dad spends all day at spawn giving all the noobs green herb collection quests. he doesn’t even do anything with them he just stuffs them in his pants and comes home with these huge pants and says “well that’s another day in the pocket” like it’s something anyone other than him says. i think my mom only married him because she runs the Lesser Potion Craft Quest down the street that needs green herbs and won’t get anything out of the divorce aside from green herbs. But yeah i’d really appreciate it if you Exterminate 20 Rock Lizard and 3 Elite Rock Lizard

swagophile

ⓘ We reviewed your post and decided it needed purpose and a reason to exist. Your post is hollow and worthless. Useless. It will die by my blade. All of this world will turn to ash.

( Request second review )

electronicmail

btw with email u dont have to lick the envelope. i know a lot of people have been doing that and its fine and all but you dont acrtually have to do that with email.

lokaror

In my new gacha game, you can now pull for scantily clad anime women who represent famous airplane crashes.

calebwittebane

The Elder Scrolls inspired recipes: part 1

bee

Ingredients:

bee

Recipe:

eat

bgm05

casual pokemon player meme: I would like to have sex with this animal

competitive pokemon player meme: Bro thought he could switch his 252 Spe Borgulon into 252 SpAtk Choice Codpiece 2x Funny Dance STAB Mega Booboobus Peerless Tsunami 💀