Promise me that you'll never be afraid.
Just as I always am on nights like these, I am wide awake and stuffing my face with sweets. I feel like you're hoarding the peanut butter, or else I'd be recreating DQ's peanut 'buster' parfait in a quart container again, because that shit was delicious. Maybe you ate all of the peanut butter, but I sincerely hope not.
So now I'm downstairs in my bedroom with the heater pulled out like you hate, eating my mom's granola and drinking your least favorite flavor of Gatorade (which is actually the best AND first original flavor,) and as I look around, all I can think of is you.
Looking around the room, I can tie a memory or thought to you everywhere my eyes land. I'm lying on a cozy blanket with a big faded picture of a kid and a duck/goose/waterfowl on it - yours from the other night when we were lying down here freezing. To my left, an LED nightlight that you picked out for me at Ross the day I was really sick. To my right, a soft blue 'rug' that we got that same day. Bath mat or not, it does provide a very comforting touch to my once unwelcoming bedroom/chamber. Further down to my right, I see all of my furniture and bedroom which you reorganized one day out of the goodness of your heart... while I was at work. You brought me ginger tea that night when you picked me up because I told you I was stuffed up, and you also told me you had a surprise for me - it was that. It made me so happy. When I first walked in, there was a sign that read something like 'I love you Bob,' and guess what? It's still there. There's a crack in it though, from my fist. From when I was drinking.
Carrying on with that thought, I am so overjoyed that you were able to believe in me through all of those times. I have never met someone like you... which brings me to that next thought: I have NEVER met someone like you.
I have never met a person that I could even remotely compare with you. You have attributes that I could never pin onto anyone I've ever met. I'm not talking about past partners - I'm referring to EVERYONE. I could go on for days about this.
I've got so much running through my head right now, I'm afraid my train of thought will begin to derail and I will cease to make sense. So, I'm just going to convert this into a list of random thoughts about you and this week.
- If you ever feel anxious and want to talk to me about anything, please understand that you can talk to me about everything you could ever think of. If you ever have any uneasy feelings, please talk to me and let me talk to you about them.
- You're always somewhere in my head. Especially when I'm wearing your sweatshirt and lying on your blanket.
- You should not have gotten ice cream for me, because now it is going to be a regular part of my life.
- The way you anunciate certain cute-isms is so foreign and adorable to me. You call the kids in your preschool class 'Popcorns?' Why is that so adorable? Don't even get me started on your songs. You make me melt.
- You are by far the most emotional and caring person out there, and it shows in nearly every facet of your existence.
- You have the most wonderful eyes and smile. Sometimes I don't feel like I deserve your gaze, but am happy to be in your sights.
- Your features are perfect.
I'm starting to get tired. But this isn't the end of the list. I could write about you for days. Maybe I'll do that this week. Thank you for all that you are. Thank you for all that you are. Thank you for all that you are. Thank you for all that you are.
You are an angel in every way, and you'd better not forget it.
I'll edit my typos and grammatical errors tomorrow, when I can keep my eyelids open.