Today's my birthday, it's the second birthday I've ever experienced without seeing my mother, it's the first birthday I've had since she died, in 2 days it will be 1 year since she died..I have so much on my mind I don't speak about, I can't find the words to say what I want, I can't find the right words to describe what emotion I'm feeling, I've never been addicted to the high meth gives me, but the fact it makes me numb is why I know it's gonna be shoveled into me all day, I wish I had the words to say what's on my mind, and to say what I wanted without hurting or upsetting others, I wish I had the words to say how I feel about my mom...I miss her alot..i know she's so disappointed if she's watching me right now..and im sorry if so..but life on this planet ain't right without my mom..I'm only 24..she was only 43..she didn't deserve it..I don't deserve any of this..fuck
