Kipling Cabin

One of the cabins set up for Camp Nanowrimo - mostly poetry, some prose, all awesome. The Poets: EK || BH || RS

[kiplingcabin]

Carried Carrion

Belial beauty, Beseech brazenly of me To carry a burden so bare and so broken. Restore and respite. Comfort and complete. Piece together; to release thee Distracted by a gaze and yearning to create and configure Snow-blinded by such a fleeting figure

To my surprise To my dismay The figure did flee

Robbed of things so special Plundering precious time and trust Unrequited, yet seldom thrust From my thirsty vessel.

Leaving a dead feeling A scarred mind and bruised heart Left to mire in misery so stark A body in need of healing

[kiplingcabin]

St

[kiplingcabin]

Past the point of no return I feel I've no where else to go The universe does not here my cries; It only spurns So, my heart and it's yearnings, I do stow Hesitation creeps behind the things I want to say Limitations spawned of this selfish coward's dismay And so I'll take a risk I'll make some sort of sacrifice

[kiplingcabin]

Words don’t come back After they’ve been told Feelings don’t retract Once they’ve been sold Tonight I bite my tongue Perhaps forever more Squeezing screams from my lung To silence me for sure I hate the pride I had Just barely hours ago My language drives me mad A completely reversed ego I find I can’t breathe These words are my air But poison in your feed will feed their despair No, here I call it quits I’m done with who I've been In broken into bits The last you’ve seen of me

[pseudonoct-deactivated20151205]

This certain degree of hilarity when you suggest that I’ve been ‘settling’ it’s almost as if you just don’t believe the trojan in my head is meddling And you put it there it just isn’t fair  that you still don’t know I didn’t ‘let go’ I’ve seen a side of you no one has known and the sincerity has me smitten it’s incredible to me how we’ve grown from friends, like infatuated children now we’re so much more mind-blowing at core always something new when I’m here with you when I see, I feel, even just near you right may be left, and just maybe you’re right it feels like now, anything can be true back then, I never thought you’d spend the night but see this is it I’d never admit: you’ve proven me wrong

and I’m grateful for it

[pseudonoct-deactivated20151205]

There’s just this thought in my mind as of late: I’m sorry I’m not what you’ve read of me, the person I’ve tried to perpetuate,  who I was before ‘you and me’ were ‘we’

That’s not to say I don’t like who we are but rather, I’m learning how to be ‘us’ be patient with me, as we’ve come so far since those corny shots I took on the bus

A few messages about who we knew, and then an exchange about what we like See, the friends like you come ‘round very few; so lose some, gain some, it messed with my psych

It’s been a month and I’m ready to try, to expose the side of me you don’t know but you’ve read about, you’ve seen through my eye the things I can feel, through words I can show

Be patient with me, it might take a while but then you’ll see what hides behind my smile

[kiplingcabin]

I write to you

a simple soul

who wants some more

I come to this

thinking that

is all there is

Who are you

to tell me

I am lazy, crazy, malaise today

This is it

the dawning of a century

in a day

This is it

the changing of our destiny

fading like history

This is it

the way you tend to see

we phase musically

They say to raise

praise and be praised

but life is not that way

[kiplingcabin]

uhh?

[kiplingcabin]

I can only stand the daybreak

with a drink in my hand

She says

son, don't be a boy

be a man, have a plan

How do you combat loneliness

when circumstance has been so rough

they just say tough

deal with it

stay in line or get the hell out of it

if you do, you quit

when you're trying to please someone else

the rules are all up to them

I just miss those nights

we would cradle like the moon

airtight locking lips like sinking ships is alright

if you were my queen

I would say

just blow it all up

because my world is a lady

I am but a baby of the earth

blessed by birth

I have a lot of bets to settle

a big schedule

a lot to learn

and to dismantle

you were my alpha and omega

but i'm unworthy of your aura

blessed me by birth

but not enough to prove worth to the wicked

that you're sinister through your ignorance

i've always wanted to deal the final blow

in a battle worth fighting for

show me that this life

is worthy of the stride through the strife

show me that the green grass

is worth saving

[kiplingcabin]

An enormous part of myself knows I should stay away

only so much can heal the welt,  can't reverse  the decay

I tried so hard to let it go and only say what's 'right'

but I can't change the things we know and things I said that night

now, I should try to leave things be and try to save some face

but I find myself in so deep, I can't forget the taste.

[kiplingcabin]

Hanging out

He says it’ll be fine. I can stay the night. Jesus hanging out behind cold shoulders. Unbearable silence broken by the cries of a soap-star who’d been deceived by a stud.

"Keep the door open!" his mother screamed. He grunted and nodded the way to his room. Her chair creaked behind us; suggesting a rubber neck.

"Don’t worry about her. She thinks you’ll mess with my head". Foot steps stop at the corner of the hall. "She’s just being a mom, dude. You know how it is"

A trip to the bathroom was met with sharp eyes. My smile triggered a bitter scowl. “Joto…” she muttered.

Ol’ Jesus. Still hanging out. As solemn and in pain as ever. He and I could use a hug. I bet we’d get along. The only thing he hates is hatred, right? I bet he’d get me…

He says she’ll get over it sooner or later. That she’s just old fashioned and religious. Pitiful me, to be deemed pestilence by petulant piousness.

Judgements got the best of me. Prejudice overpowered. Animus attacks my anima. A slammed door stirred the familiar crucifix. I guess Jesus decided not to hang around anymore. As broken as I am.

[kiplingcabin]

It's nice to see you smile

the one who says i'm so ugly it hurts my chances at success

the one who says i'm too fat to be effectively attractive

It's a pleasure just to be near where you are

knowing something so beautiful exists so close

I could be burned by the best of you

The best of you

something I haven't heard too often

always wondering where the stop is to be dropped off at heaven

Can you bless me with bliss

a chance at fame with only myself to blame

for failing or faulting or falling apart when pained

No matter the outcome of it all

it warms my heart to be given the chance to see you flourish

to watch the flowers grow, and notice the difference

I know every day that goes by is not perfect

but the fact of getting through, with humor too

makes me so happy to see you smile

[kiplingcabin]

Continue with circumstance Let it guide you into thinking
 You’re less of a man

You will be green with jealousy 
Every time something beautiful walks by
 Will you think of me?

Those blue days you’re drowning 
In the most unrealistic context
 You’re proud of the way you lie to be accepted

Will it come down to this or that
 No middle ground in which to stand
 Throwing insults, ranged combat

[kiplingcabin]

A little difference...?

Indifference sparks hatred Failure to discern Quick to observe Fallacy and response

Mind like a bee hive Stirred like a snow globe Past rationality Pessimists panic

Mundane and murky mire Humanity amid misery To persuade and to recruit Unrestrained resolution

Until indifference finds its way To play with a busy-bee mind Just don’t forget about your own humanity…

[kiplingcabin]

Hopeless Endeavor

Kneeling listless on my silenced lyre Attempting to wrap my worried mind Around my lack of lust for new Surrounded by evidence of attempts Neverdoneing strives for completion As if I've made an art out of procrastination Prying through layers of rehashed thoughts In search of some spark or some idea Cold carpet catches frustrated fingers Chained to masochistic tendencies, I pick up the ol' string box that should be labeled "Rinse - Wash - Repeat". Such is my cycle. Such is my struggle and strife.

[kiplingcabin]

I'm getting that I'm a trainwreck, and not much can be done to keep these rampant thoughts in check; except where they come from

I can't halt the feelings I find I can only escape

for a couple  glasses of wine, and you anticipate

the crash that always comes after the hurt that never fails

until he turns wine to water a heart that beats all ales

[kiplingcabin]

Those things I said  the night we met were almost purely lies I needed what I couldn’t get with soulful, honest cries

A liar then, a liar now I won’t pretend I’m not The truth be told?  I don’t know how, as I was never taught.

I’ve built this  on a bed of lies, like tinder for the fire;

you’ll never see who  you’ll despise. with love, truth makes the liar.