Just Like Fire

Kipling "Kip" Weaver (née Romano) 35. Fire fighter. Wilmington native.

[kipweaver]

alison-harper​

“A funnel cake with chocolate drizzled on it sounds like heaven,” she admitted, trying her best not to think about the fact that she just had ice cream and was now instantly wanting a funnel cake. She’d blame being pregnant but she probably would have done this with Kip beforehand. It made her think back to when they were kids, trying to get as many sweets as possible out of a situation and now they were just taller children when they were around each other. “Look at us, spending a day together like we used to before. All we need to do is get into some kind of trouble so then my mom has to come and yell at us even though she was more interested in how we got there in the first place.”

“And it keeps sounding better and better,” Kip said with a grin, shaking his head a bit. The two of them used to get into all kinds of trouble and when he was a kid, he often thought of Alison’s parents as his own. He had always felt welcome in her house and he looked back at those moments with fondness. “Right? I mean, as long as we don’t end up in jail or something. I can remember how mad she was when she had to come get us at midnight in her pajamas when we got caught out past curfew.” He said with a laugh at the memory. He looked down as Parker let out some cries and he reached for the diaper bag and set it on the table, trying to hustle as his cries became louder. “I know buddy, I’m going.” He said as he reached the bottle that was in the bag.

[kipweaver]

levyjack​

Jack was fully prepared for the guy to turn around and tell him to get lost—his hands were pretty full, after all—but once he was underestimating the kindness of people in this town. “Thanks, man.” Dialling in a number for a tow company, he jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “I don’t know, you good with cars? My truck decided to give out, I think. Just won’t start.” Hanging fire on pressing dial, he raised the phone to his ear and kept his focus on the helpful stranger.

Kip shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve been known to mess around with them, not great at fixing them but I could probably take a look and see what could be wrong with it.” He said. “Let me go put this in my car and I’ll be right back.” He said as he made his way to his car, setting the food in and then heading back to the other. “Mind if I pop the hood?” He asked, waiting for the go ahead before doing it, going to the front and opening up the hood. “Alright, let’s see here.” He said, mostly to himself. “Need a ride anywhere if the tow truck can’t get it started?”

[kipweaver]

beau-haywood​

CLOSED START FOR: @kipweaver LOCATION: new hanover fire station

“So, how is everything goin’ at home, bud?” Beau asked casually as he and Kip went about securing gear onto the rig they’d just had out only hours responding to a scene. There was no doubt it’d been a long shift, but it always felt good to return to the station knowing you’d changed a person’s life for the better, mitigating as much damage as possible. Staring destruction in the face, and dampening the impact. That was one of the few things still keeping Beau on the job. “Steph’s got me learnin’ all this baby stuff, my head is spinnin’ half the time. At least Parker’s patient with me.” He’d laugh then, head shaking.

Kip had just started going back to work and while he missed having all that free time with Parker, he was also happy to be back at work, at least part time, still making sure he could watch his son when Steph needed to go to classes. “Things are going great man. I told Steph I loved her. You won’t believe how nervous I was.” He said and looked over towards Beau. “You’re gonna need to know. I mean, at least you have people to help you learn. I kinda had to jump in head first. I’m still scared I’m gonna do something wrong.” He said with a laugh. “Yeah, he’s pretty forgiving. Gotta love him. 

[kipweaver]

stephlenox​

The fact that Kip didn’t linger on the happiness he’d found – tell stories from that time – had Steph’s stomach in knots even before he mentioned the fire. She had experience telling a hard, sad, story; she knew what it was to be unable to tell the good parts because they hurt so much, now that they were gone. Still, she sucked in a little gasp; still, her hand on his knee squeezed gently. “I’m so sorry, Kip.” It was soft, and it was a little hesitant, but she meant every word, just as she knew how hopelessly empty those three words were. How there was nothing you could say that would make it better, but that silence was the worst thing of all. Her eyes stinging, she pulled back to wipe away her own tears. But her heart broke all over again as he went on; she’d thought the estrangement she’d suffered with Ben was hard, but this– did Kip even know where his brother was? If he was still okay? 

“You’ve saved so many people,” she said softly, though she knew it would never be enough. Not with the parent-sized hole Kip had been trying to fill. There would always be more fires, more families in danger. “And I know,” she said with a small smile, squeezing his hands wrapped so firmly around hers. “I know how hard it is to talk about.” It was why she didn’t talk about her past all that much, either. Most of the people who she’d known growing up had been there when she lost her parents, and even more of the people she loved now had been there, in one way or another, when she’d lost Ben. Her tragedies weren’t secrets, but she’d considered them part of who she was for so long that she hadn’t explained either in a long time. This wasn’t about her past, though – it was about Kip’s. Kip, who was trying to take every wrong he’d faced and make it right for someone else. Kip, who kept all his pain bottled so tight she hadn’t realised how much he was hurting beneath it all. Maybe, he hadn’t even realised it, either. 

Steph had opened her mouth to say something more, but just what that something was, she forgot the second Kip finished talking. Because I love you. A funny buzzing filled her ears, and her heart pounded. She’d been running from how she felt for him for so long – at first, because Parker hadn’t been born, because she didn’t know if he was even Parker’s father. And then, because they were living in different places, splitting custody. And then, because they weren’t living in different places, and what if it didn’t work out, what if she ruined the easy peace of their lives and ended up homeless in the bargain? (It was beyond irrational; Kip would never leave her, let alone Parker, homeless, but she’d clung to that fear just the same, like the fear, the barrier between them, was keeping her strong.) The truth was, of course, that facing your feelings, admitting them, as Kip had done – that was what required courage. Steph might not have enough for a whole speech just yet, but she had enough to know that she loved Kip, too. Loved him so much she couldn’t quite believe she’d been able to shove it away for so long. And in the moment, she couldn’t find the words to explain any of that. All she could do was lean forward, and press her lips to his, hoping the kiss would say all that she couldn’t just yet.

Not knowing where his brother was had been weighing down on him for years, and he had just started looking into where he might have ended up, hoping he could find him somehow, no matter how small the odds were that he would. The words ‘I’m sorry’ hung in his head for a moment, words he had heard so many times before and yet they felt different coming from her. He only knew a little bit about events of her past, never one to pry into other people’s business. When she said those words, he felt like she meant it, that she didn’t just say it because that’s what you are supposed to say when someone tells you a story of a horrible past and a childhood stolen from an innocent child. She mentioned how many people he had saved and he had thought about that number a lot.

Kip looked over at Steph, listening to her and nodding his head. “I know I have, but I don’t think it will ever be enough to satisfy the need to help.” He shrugged, running a hand through his hair. “It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve had to do.” He said softly. “But this...talking to you and my therapist, it’s helped me realize how much I’ve locked inside and pushed through everything, bottled it up. I know how dangerous that could possibly be.” He continued. “It was getting pretty dark until you and Parker came along. You two are like my sunshine, the light at the end of the tunnel of darkness that was surrounding my life.” 

When Steph kissed him back, Kip could feel almost a sense of relief washing over him, that he wasn’t imagining the feelings he felt between them. He let a hand rest on her cheek as he moved closer to her, continuing to kiss her back for just a moment more, words being spoken without actually being said. It was like he felt how she was feeling and he hadn’t ever felt like that before. He pulled back a moment later, continuing to look at Steph. “I’ve never felt like this before. You make me so happy. You and Parker...you make me the happiest I have ever been and I can’t imagine my life without you both in it.”

[kipweaver]

alison-harper​

She chose to move past his compliment, mainly because she didn’t want to sit and unpack it right then and there. Instead, she just nodded to his suggestion of going to the pier. “I’d like that, a little walk around so I can work up the courage to getting some kind of sweet treat down there on the pier. Would love to will a funnel cake or something into my future,” she said, giving him a smile as she spoke. Spending some time with Kip and Parker without actively worrying about stuff in her life was what she needed and Kip seemed to also need some kind of distraction too. 

Kip looked over at her and smiled. “We can make a funnel cake happen. I haven’t had one of those in a long time. There is never a wrong time to have some funnel cake though. Maybe we can go dip our feet in the ocean too. That sounds like a good time.” He said and let his hand rest against Parker. “Just powdered sugar or are there any other toppings calling your name?” He asked as he sat up some in the chair. He was really enjoying the time out spent with a childhood friend that he could feel relaxed around. It was nice not to have to think about anything because she always seemed to know what was on his mind or going through his head.

[kipweaver]

levyjack​

at Carolina BBQ w/ @kipweaver​

What began as a venture out to grab something delicious for dinner was now turning into a really, really bad day. Jack had dealt with a particularly intense brand of douchebag at his gym in the afternoon and had locked up early and driven out to Forest Hills to cool off and try and to keep his temper in check. However, after completing said delicious meal, he found himself in the parking lot with a truck that refused to start. After popping the hood and inspecting further, Jack realized the truck contained all of his tools and materials wouldn’t be leaving this lot tonight and, to top it all of, his phone was dead. Spotting the figure moving past, he stepped down from the truck and began moving towards him. “Excuse me? Can I borrow your phone?” 

Kip had told Steph he would bring home dinner after a meeting with work. He had been planning to go back to work soon and wanted to get as much time in with Steph and Parker as he could before that happened. He had the food in his hands when he heard someone ask him a question. He turned to face where the voice was coming from and he offered a smile as she shifted the food to his other hand and reached into his pocket, grabbing his phone from it and held it out for the other to grab. “Here you go, Everything alright? Anything I can help with?”

[kipweaver]

sfitzpatrick​

Even with Kip’s assurances of long arms and the kitten being close enough to reach, Sean remained a little sceptical – probably because it just looked so damned awkward. And, holding Olive’s leash, he felt entirely superfluous – there was barely room for Kip, let alone him, too, in front of the machine. Still, there was one thing he could do – even if it was just words. “The only person who’s got a key the guy who comes to fill it. Comes Tuesdays.” Which this wasn’t. “Don’t worry, you ain’t bein’ heroic for nothin,” he added with a chuckle. Watching as Kip managed to get hold of the kitten, then bring it out of the machine, Sean practically held his breath – then barely resisted the urge to cheer at the end of it all. If anything would get Olive barking again, it was that. “Look at that, you’ve got yourself a friend.”

Kip looked down at the little kitten that was now sitting comfortably in his arms before looking over towards Sean. “I’ve always been more of a dog person myself but this thing is pretty cute.” He added as he let his hand carefully pet over the kittens body. “I still have no clue how this thing got in there or even in here. Must have snuck in while someone had the door open or something.” He said as he looked back at the snack machine. “I’d probably have to talk to Steph if I wanna make this a permanent friend or try to find it a good home. You like kittens?”

[kipweaver]

alison-harper​

“As someone who basically raised a child while I was growing up, I can say that that feeling doesn’t go away. Even when they’re older and tell you that you did a good job. But you just get to see them do things and be great people and you kind of realize you didn’t mess up too badly.” She was well-aware of the fact that it was going to be different raising her own daughter than it was when she was taking care of Eric. Her brother was just that, her brother. If she needed to, she could have gone fo their father and screamed at him about taking care of him. But her daughter? That was her responsibility and she sometimes worried about how she’d handle it. But the advice she gave to Kip was all she knew. “I don’t think he’d have anything but good memories, especially with having a dad like you.”

Kip nodded his head. “That’s what I feared would happen. I think I will always have this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that I’m doing a terrible job.” He shrugged and leaned back against the chair. He looked over and offered a small smile. “Thanks Ali. You are a great friend and you are gonna be an amazing mom, I can tell you that. I mean I know you took care of Eric and everything so you have more experience then I had going into this whole thing but still.” He said and let his hand rest on Parker’s back without thinking to much about it. He cherished every moment he got to spend with his best friend, one of the only people to know the full extent of what he has been through. “What do you say we head to the pier or something after this?”

[kipweaver]

stephlenox​

“I think we’re safe from losing that fourth nap for a little while longer,” Steph replied with a light chuckle that quickly died away. She was still getting to know Kip’s mannerisms and little quirks, but something told her wherever he was going was something a little more serious than an aimless wandering. She straightened back up, her attention locked on Kip as she gave a small, encouraging nod. But as he went on, her mouth fell open slightly – the fact that she didn’t know all that much about Kip’s childhood had been telling, but then again, they’d gotten so much of the order of things backwards, mixed up. Sex, and then a kind of friendship, and then co-parenting, and now they were roommates, but not just that, either; not just a team. In truth, Steph hadn’t tried too hard to work out what they were to each other, though she had tried to let go of her fear about it. Still, it was a surprise, in a way, that he’d locked away his past so thoroughly he’d wanted, or maybe needed, a therapist’s help with it all. Because though Steph had always thought therapy was a good thing, in theory, she’d never gone herself. Not after her parents died. Not after Ben left. Not when she couldn’t get in a car without shaking, let alone turn the key. Not even when Ben died. Maybe she should’ve, but it always seemed like a luxury she couldn’t afford – literally. Blinking rapidly, Steph forced herself back to the present– to Kip. “I–” She cleared her throat, tried again. “I’m glad your therapist has been helping. And– I’m glad you want to talk about it. With me.” ‘Glad’ felt woefully inadequate– she was touched, maybe even honoured that he trusted her that much.

Reaching forward, she rested a hand on his knee – a small, reassuring gesture – as he grabbed his water glass. And as he spoke, obviously pained, her eyes filled. So much of what he’d said, so much of how he’d acted since learning about Parker – even before knowing Parker was his – made so much more sense now. She’d always thought Kip was thoughtful, and kind, and she’d known he was scared, too, but she’d never known what he was scared of. It wasn’t some abstract; it was a very specific role he didn’t want to replicate. And he hadn’t, he was the opposite of neglectful and uncaring, but– it wasn’t her place to cast judgement. At least not yet, not til he’d said everything he wanted to. “Then what happened?”

Kip had wanted to tell Steph about his childhood for a while but he wasn’t sure how she would have taken it. He had actually tried multiple times however he could never go through with it, nervous about how it would go over. It wasn’t that Kip didn’t trust Steph, in fact, he trusted her with his life, but he just wasn’t used to talking about his past with anyone except Alison who had has known since that childhood. This was a whole new experience for him and as he spoke about the first part of his childhood, he could feel the butterflies rising in his stomach, his head telling him over and over again to stop talking, to pull it back into himself but he continued to talk, knowing that he would feel better once she knew everything, that they would be closer after, that he might feel even more for her. He looked over towards Steph. “Right so the family that adopted me was great. I had a new younger brother and I was happy but uh...I was 16 when the fire happened. I was able to get my brother out but my parents didn’t uh...make it out.”

He somehow got the sentence out as he felt tears threatening to fall from his eyes. “My brother and I were separated and I haven’t seen him since that night.” Kip said softly and played with the hem of his shirt. “The fire..that’s why I became a firefighter. I wanted to be able to save someone else’s parents like I couldn’t mine.” He said and reached over, taking her hands in his. “I’ve wanted to tell you sooner, I just...it’s hard to talk about you know?” He said, a huge feeling of relief washing over him now that it was all out there. “But I just needed you to know..to understand.” He said softly. “You were the only one I really wanted to tell, because of how I feel about you.” He bit his lip. “Because I love you.”

[kipweaver]

alison-harper​

“Ah yeah, unfortunately that feeling doesn’t go away. When you’re in charge of someone and you’re supposed to guide them, you’re constantly going to be afraid that you’re doing something wrong with them. Eric ended up fine but I constantly worried I was doing something wrong.” She was trying to be as honest as she could with Kip because placating him wasn’t going to do any good. A lot of the time, people would say ‘oh you’ll be fine’ or just brush off your concerns but actually talking through them was more helpful than that. “But, if you try your best, that’s all that really matters.” 

Kip sighed, shaking his head a bit. “Great. Glad I get to look forward to that.” He said with a soft chuckle, careful not to jostle Parker too much as he was finally asleep. “I just need to find a way to not doubt my parenting skills but the little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that I’m doing something wrong all the time, even though I’m not, or at least I don’t think I am.” He nodded. “I just want Parker to look back when he’s older and have good memories with me and not hate me or something.”

[kipweaver]

alison-harper​

“Well none of us really know. It’s just a feeling and clearly you understand that,” she pointed at him with her spoon as she spoke, still eating the ice cream he’d purchased for her. The thing was, she didn’t really know what it was either but it was just something that everyone kind of figured out on their own and the way he was talking about Steph made her feel like he’d, at least, figured out part of it. “No one really decides what’s what they want with their life, do they? I mean sure, there are people who know they want to be parents but I think most of the time, it is just something that you know is right or just happens.”

Kip nodded as he looked over towards Alison. “It’s definitely a feeling that I’m feeling.” He said as he took one last bite of his ice cream before pushing the bowl and spoon to the side. “That’s true. I just never really saw myself becoming a dad and it’s scary to me. I mean, I love Parker, more than anything but I’m scared that’s I’m gonna do something to mess his life up or something. Well, he definitely just happened, which turned out to be a great thing, but part of me is always going to be worried, I think.”

[kipweaver]

stephlenox​

Once she’d decided to do so, it had been surprisingly easy, moving in with Kip. Partly because she didn’t have all that much stuff, and had plenty of backup in the actual lifting of boxes. But emotionally, she’d thought it would be harder to go from two separate households, to one. There had been a period of adjustments, no question about it, but she’d managed to find a routine. One that worked for her, for Parker. And seemed to work for Kip, too. Knowing that made it all the easier for Steph to feel right at home, even when she’d barely been there a month. Funny how time flew when you were busy taking classes and raising a baby – or maybe not so funny at all.

She’d set up camp in the living room, armed with reading, the baby monitor, and a tall glass of water. Absorbed in her reading as she was, Steph couldn’t help but look up and smile as Kip came in and sat next to her on the couch. She placed her textbook next to the coaster where she’d rested her water as he settled in, then curled up against the cushions. “Hey,” she answered. “Mhm.” She rested her head against the back cushions, very glad to see Kip home. “I got him down a half hour ago, he’ll sleep for a while, yet. You have a good–” She didn’t quite know where he’d been, actually, had been careful not to pry though she was undeniably curious. “Your afternoon go well?”

Kip looked over towards Steph, offering her a soft smile as he turned his body to face her on the couch. “Glad he went to sleep for you.” He said and ran a hand through his hair. “It did go well. I uh...I’ve been meaning to talk to you about where I’ve been going the two afternoons a week.” He said as he paused for a moment. “I’ve been going to therapy and trying to work through a lot of stuff I’ve been locking away from my childhood.” He said as he gave her a moment. “And my therapist has been really helping and suggested I open up to someone about everything, which Alison has been begging me to do for ages and um...I think it’s probably time to talk about all of that.” He said as he grabbed his glass of water and took a drink from it.

There were a lot of thoughts going through his head as Kip thought about how to start with telling Steph all about the hard times he had growing up. He just wasn’t used to talking about anything that he had gone through, but he supposed that was the whole point his therapist was trying to make. “So uh..guess the story starts when I was born. My birth parents never really wanted to be parents so they kinda left me with some friend of theirs, usually druggies and then I got “old enough” to take care of myself, would just leave me on my own.” He started and sighed softly. “I was 8 when I was finally removed from their home and adopted by my teacher and it was amazing because I finally had a home.” He continued, looking over as he waited for Steph’s reaction.

[kipweaver]

A small surprise party was Steph’s biggest present to Kip, though she also gave him a card, inscribed:

Kip, Today we celebrate my second-favorite person in the world. [Sorry, but Parker’s got you beat.] You are kind, and strong, and so incredibly good. Happy Birthday. ♡ Steph

[kipweaver]

sfitzpatrick​

He’d returned the wave, smiling, figuring it was just as much for Olive as him, and, well, Olive wasn’t about to wave back. Still, Sean hadn’t expected to get backup in his (and Olive’s,) examination of the vending machine. He knew Kip only as one of the guys at the firestation from visits to his sister and to Beau, not well enough to know him as a person, but it was clear fighting fires was just one way the guy liked to help out. “In the machine,” he confirmed with a little disbelieving shake of his head – if he couldn’t see it with his own eyes, he likely would’ve asked the same thing.. “Haven’t got a fuckin’ clue.” he answered. “I didn’t even think a cat could get into the waiting room itself in the first place.” Or, at least, not without someone noticing, which clearly hadn’t happened. His brow quirked at the joke– “I think the degree of difficulty’s probably harder here– you sure we shouldn’t call someone?” The last thing they needed was Kip stuck as well as the kitten.

Kip looked once more at the machine, still curious as to how the kitten had managed to get itself stuck in there. “Nah, I got long arms, plus it’s not too far up.” He knelt down, hoping the owners wouldn’t think he was trying to steal anything from the vending machine. He got his hand inside the machine and reached up, having to sit down to get the right angle. “I swear if I get this thing out and then they tell me they have a key to it or something.” He said with a laugh, touching the kitten with his fingertips. he reached up a little bit more, the furthest he could and managed to get his hand around the kitten’s stomach. He carefully pulled the kitten down and out of the machine, holding it against his chest as he pushed himself off the floor.

[kipweaver]

alison-harper​

She was proud of him, had continued to be so, and now that he was taking this seriously and making sure he was okay showed that, weirdly enough, he’d listened to her. Not that she didn’t think he would but she was just used to a lot of people in her life ignoring her pleas or advice. But hearing that Kip was in love? Her eyebrows shot up, a smile breaking across her face as he spoke. Him falling in love with Steph made her happier than she could have imagined. Mainly because it was just nice seeing Kip that happy. “In love, huh? Look at you. Who would have thought that kid I used to tease all the time would grow up to be a great dad and be in love…” 

Kip had usually taken Alison’s advice seriously and she usually found that she was right with most of it, this included the therapy. “Yeah, in love. I mean, I don’t actually know what love means but I am positive this is it.” He said. “From what my parents showed me at least.” He said and took another bite of his ice cream. “Certainly not me. I’m pretty sure that nobody saw this coming. I never thought I would be a dad, and yet, here I am.”

[kipweaver]

beau-haywood​

“You know how often I’ve got Beth dressin’ me now? It’s a blessing, I’ll you that.” How many times had Beau dressed himself to go and meet the rest of her family and been dragged back to his closet and put in a collared shit without a mark of plaid or flannel material was… Far too often at this juncture. While Beau and Beth weren’t living together yet, there was something to be said for having the ability to drop Ellie off at her grandparents or uncle’s on nearly a whim. But even on the occasions he was staying in his own home without them, he found himself genuinely missing both Dryden girls company. “I’m more of a line-dancing guy an’ this shit ain’t the honky tonk, but we’ve had a few dances, yeah.” A chuckle left Beau’s lips as he shook his head. “Is that a genuine offer? ‘Cause I’m leadin’. Plus I’d hate to make Steph jealous.”

“I honestly should have Steph dressing me more often, I have no sense of fashion,” Kip said with a laugh, taking a drink from the glass in his hand. Kip had still been getting used to having Steph and Parker living with him. He had been on his own for so long and now he suddenly had Steph and their baby living under the roof and he loved it. He hadn’t realized how lonely he had felt until they moved in. “This is probably about as far away from a hinky tonk as you could possibly get.” He said with a chuckle. “Yeah, sure. Why not?” He said and finished off his drink. 

[kipweaver]

naomi-owens​

                       "Hey! It wasn’t that bad. I partially came up with that cheer, jerk.” Naomi corrected then swatted at Kip for the hell of it. “I still remember that thing like the back of my hand. It’s sad really. I’m thirty three years old and I’m hummin’ the Wildcat Fight song to my little daughter. Plus, can I really claim I’m reliving my prime when I’m back here everyday teaching in the same halls I grew up in?” Her head cocked to the side and her brow ticked upwards. “Wait, why? I loved senior year!” Well, for the most part of it. 

“Oh I know it. Doesn’t make it any less cheesy.” Kip said with a laugh. He took a sip from his drink. “I think you can. I mean, we aren’t the same kids we were back then. I’m sure you give off a different vibe at work than you do right here, right now, where you can let loose a little.” He said before raising his eyebrows. “Considering my parents died at the start of senior year...I’d say that’s why my senior year kinda sucked.”