i go by xe/they, i like to draw, i like to talk, honestly dont know what else to say i own a switch and a 3ds and i love to pirate things as much as i can
things i like!!!
hypmic, twst, rhythm games, like project diva/taiko no tatsujin/muse dash/mobile ones etc, death note, movies (yk western ones your dad watches), old mgm tapdancing films, actually it's Donald O'Connor, average knowledge on anime, mdzs, i read manga more tho, ace attorney/daigyakuten saiban, jjba, mp100, stupid isekai manhwa, vocaloid, im a meiko kaito truther, yakuza 0, triangle strategy, dc (batfam things), ib, wadanohara, scrolling thru itch io games in general, yttd, stardew valley, alien stage
i am indeed critical of what i consume and i do like to trashtalk my own interests wahaha
yuck!!
if u think fiction ≠ reality ur a weirdo and wrong and proshippers can eat my shit ,people who fall under basic dni criteria go away
especially those who dont like neopronouns why are you here i use them find better things to hate
tags i use :3
#xuil txt - miscellaneous stuff, short thoughts i poop out
#xuil rambles- the longer side of text posts and well, me rambling
#xuil gaym- the gamer experience
#xuilart - my art!!!
#oc stuff- for my beloved dear ocs, mostly art as well
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Instagram: @vortixxes
i post art there alotttt more!!!! i dont talk there but im happy if anyone visits :]
Discord: xuil#8366
im actually not sure if the #numbers still work so idk how friending works anymore someone help (??) but yeah!!! I'd love to talk on discord ^_^
Shin Tsukimi and chronic illness as a core part of his character beliefs and motivations
While it's true that Hiyori was a big influence in Shin's life, I think Shin's health issues might have given him a jaded outlook on the world long before Hiyori entered the picture. The game points out his poor health too frequently for it to be irrelevant, so I've collected as much as I could on his physical condition for the purpose of diving into why it's a central part of his character, instead of just a minor detail thrown in!
His frailty is important enough to be called out in his character profile. It goes deeper than "Shin just doesn't eat enough" though. I believe that Shin has some kind of chronic illness—maybe more than one—that he's been dealing with his whole life, and YTTS makes the strongest case for this.
In YTTS, Shin is pained by the fact that he's always too skinny, and he admits to Kai that he's struggled with being underweight his whole life. This isn't because he doesn't want to eat, but because his body physically can't handle very many foods.
When Kai cooks something tolerable and nutritious for him, Shin gets a little carried away. He does want to eat! He gets excited when he gains even the tiniest amount of weight! It's funny to me that in his enthusiasm, he slips into his "scary personality" (he doesn't need a death game to be strange and off-putting). I think it's safe to assume that he has a stomach-related illness, at the very least.
He also has issues with temperature—most notably an intolerance to cold. He's always wearing winter clothes, and he keeps his heater outrageously high.
It's worth pointing out that he wants to keep warm to avoid catching a cold. He tells Kai in YTTS that he gets sick every winter, so his immune system isn't great. This could also be why he keeps his hands so clean—he knows how easily he can get sick and takes extra precautions to avoid it.
Though the below scene is humorous, it shows Shin's temperature intolerance in the other direction:
Steam makes him dizzy! He likes being warm, but in extremes, it looks like he can't handle heat very well either.
He gets exhausted faster than anyone else. While the characters explore and complete attractions in chapter two, Shin struggles to keep up.
While an argument could be made that he goes back to rest in his room to plot his schemes in secret, I do think he was genuinely physically drained as well. He faints while plotting his next move in the room (and gets a nightmare, but more on that later).
While his exhaustion is genuine, I think he also uses this moment of weakness to his benefit here in order to manipulate Kanna. She's afraid of losing the only person she has left, so Shin takes advantage of that fear to get her to follow along with his scheme.
Continuing with YTTS, Mishima's route further exposes and confirms that Shin struggles with physical exertion.
He can't do a single pushup, but not for lack of trying. How is he supposed to improve if he can't even lift himself off of the ground? But Mishima tells him how to modify it, and Shin takes his words into consideration. He does want to get stronger, and he starts doing squats when Mishima calls out his lack of exercise. What's funny to me is his outlandish, roundabout way of avoiding the topic of exercise or bragging about what little he was able to manage. It's also kind of sad that he didn't feel comfortable enough with himself to just tell the truth, though.
It's noteworthy that Shin takes pride in his swimming ability. For those with chronic illnesses, swimming is an excellent way to exercise without exhausting and damaging your body further. It takes all the weight and pressure off of your muscles and joints, which is especially important for dealing with and minimizing chronic pain.
When Shin attempts and fails to do a pushup, he tries to play it off like he doesn't care, but Mishima sees through him.
Shin lied about exercising out of insecurity. Here, there is no first trial, no immediate threat of death. There's just Shin, a guy who hates his own frailness, lying so that he doesn't sound pathetic to others. He doesn't need a death game to be a liar.
Another interesting thing to point out is that he's still going by Sou Hiyori in YTTS. It could be that his AI was made to do so in order to copy his death game counterpart, but it also could indicate that even without his first trial, he's going to hide behind a stronger mask in any uncertain situation—either out of fear, or a general dislike and disappointment with his own identity.
It's due to his "lameness" that Shin has an issue with putting others on pedestals. He devalues himself so much that he thinks Mishima's amazing for the simplest things.
It makes this line from Shin's nightmare (that he has after fainting from exhaustion) hurt so much more:
While it may be some strange kind of foreshadowing or a way to showcase how the AI simulations went, it could also be that this is Shin's own belief voiced through his warped perception of Sara. Throughout the nightmare, his entire perception of reality is skewed. The bleeding eyes that stare at him through the walls, his body that lies dead on the floor while a mysterious hand reaches out to him—these things did not actually happen in the game. So, this line in particular is concerning (to say the least) if it describes how he thinks of himself!
I don't think his odd behavior and mistrust towards Sara is only projection from his relationship with Hiyori, but rather from a lifelong, deep-rooted fear and jealousy of strength in others as well. That's why his first trial is so effective at breaking him. It takes these subconscious fears of his and says, hey, you're right to feel that way. You actually will be taken advantage of and die for how weak you are. It doesn't magically give him fear out of nowhere—it confirms his pre-existing anxieties to an extreme. He elevates Sara to some untouchable terrifying concept because of her survival percentage rather than a simple high school girl who is just as scared and confused as everyone else.
This tendency to put others on pedestals might be why he was so close to Hiyori. Shin claims that Hiyori "knew everything" and he admired just how knowledgeable the man was. Shin genuinely looked up to him.
The way Hiyori reacts here makes me think that Shin was pretty open with him about his health and poor self-worth. Hiyori, as much of a "scary friend" as he was, did provide comfort. There's the blanket, the reassuring hand on his shoulder, the cup in his hands, a smile on Shin's face—Hiyori tells Shin he can become the person he wants to be. If no one else believed in Shin like that before, it's no wonder he was so attached to Hiyori despite the red flags he had.
Even if this part below is a deleted scene, I think this flashback of Hiyori asking Shin how he would treat his sibling if they were younger is worth pointing out:
Shin assumes his younger sibling will have a weak disposition like him (meaning that his issues could be genetic). It also shows that Hiyori was a source of encouragement for him if he was genuinely cheering for him.
Although, he might have deepened Shin's insecurities if he focused on telling Shin to become someone worthy rather than help Shin accept himself as he already was (especially if part of what he dislikes about himself is a chronic condition).
When Shin's cornered in the first main game, he snaps and fully gives in to the warped perception of the world that he has.
He pushes his fear onto the others. You're going to die for being weak, not me! Shin Tsukimi is a man who gets sick every winter, who faints from exhaustion, who devalues himself in the face of others far more impressive than he is. Shin Tsukimi can't survive in a death game, but Sou Hiyori could—a man with a scary personality and an impressive wealth of knowledge. And so, Sou Hiyori he'd be.
At least, he tries. Despite the terrifying schemes he creates and the lies he weaves, he can't disguise his physical weaknesses. They exist to humanize him. They exist to hint that, far before his villainous persona breaks down, he's a just human being with his own limits like everyone else.
Although, I'd argue that sometimes he uses his moments of weakness as a manipulation tactic too (like I mentioned earlier with Kanna). After arguing with Sara in the first main game, he has a pretty drastic physical reaction.
I do think he was genuinely feeling sick. I also think he absolutely could have hidden that fact (he's an excellent liar), but it's useful for him in this moment to paint Sara as the villain and himself as a poor victim. Seconds later, he recovers to keep the team guessing and foster doubt towards her.
None of this is to "baby" him as a character, but instead, to explore why he is the way he is. He can lie and scheme and act as a truly terrifying force! If he's weak and insecure, then it makes sense that he would develop these traits to disguise that part of him before the death game occurred. Because he is a great liar! I highly doubt he never lied before the death game—he's way too experienced for that. He throws away his entire identity and gets away with it for a pretty significant length of time.
TLDR: Shin's health issues and potential chronic illness aren't just things thrown in without a second thought. They're at the core of his character—his fear, his motivation, his humanity. He can't believe in anyone, because he's terrified that the second they see through the cracks, those stronger than him will kill him. His warped perception of strength and weakness (and the resulting paranoia) informs the major decisions he makes and the schemes he unleashes throughout the game. While I don't think his health issues are the only reason that he acts the way he does, they're a pretty significant part of it.
