undoing

[kirazturan]

(   melisa pamuk  /  cisfemale  /  she/her  /  bisexual  〉well, well, well… if it isn’t KIRAZ TURAN, the THIRTY FOUR year old LAWYER, who is best known around town for SAVING A LIFE WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY RUINING HER OWN. apparently they’ve been living in UPTOWN for TWENTY FOUR YEARS, and according to word on the street they are PRO-PRESERVATION. i’ve heard that they are quite CHARMING & STUBBORN, and if their life had a theme song it would be BETTER DAYS by DERMOT KENNEDY.  

tw: death, addiction, miscarriage, divorce

Kiraz knew of loss at a very young age when her single mother never returned home after working a night shift at the hospital where she worked as a nurse. Her grandmother tried to make her understand as best a five year old could when she first came to live with her. The following five years were confusing for the little girl who noted the different between her home life and that of her friends. They all had younger parents and did activities that her grandmother couldn't do, and Kiraz was often stuck at home caring for the elderly woman and the home.

When she turned ten years old, her grandmother decided to contact her son who had moved to the united states as she received news that meant she wouldn't be able to care for Kiraz for very long. Her uncle came home to care for his mother until she passed and to get Kiraz's paperwork in order to leave the country and move to the united states. She was ten years old when she arrived in Sedona and while she was able to adapt quickly as most children do, she did feel the effects with the bullying she received in school.

Luckily, high school was a new chance for her to re-invent herself and she did just that. It was during this period of her life that she met a boy and fell deeply in love with him despite her family's warnings. They ended up getting married young and trying to start a family. When Kiraz left high school, she was convinced that she wanted to become a paramedic in order to help people and she succeeded doing so until an incident happened a few years in where she slid down the stairs with a patient and tore muscles in her shoulder and back.

With the came the loss of her job and a world where she could walk around without chronic pain. Her world turned dark and she dived into the bottle to help ease the loss and pain, though that resulted in the end of her marriage and the loss of a child she wasn't aware of until she was being rushed to the hospital due to bleeding. Luckily, her uncle pulled her out of it by giving her an ultimatum of losing the only family she had and she got herself set up and returned to school at the age of twenty five. It's been over a year since she's passed the bar and has started working with a new intent to help save the businesses in town by representing them as best she can.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

EX-HUSBAND/PARTNER: this is a wanted connection but basically someone she married when she was very young and they went through a lot of trial and tribulations. a lot of toxicity and drama to have here, but they can either be split or estranged. slightly learning towards the latter for all the drama on the divorce if that happens.

FAMILY: i would love a sister/brother/cousin for her

BEST FRIEND: someone she grew up with or met later in life but they're thick as thieves, spend hours on the phone and have these late night sleepovers with food and wine.

FOES: someone she doesn't like for whatever reason and they just have this fun banter. they might even be similar which makes it even funnier.

COWORKERS: she works at a law firm so someone she would work with, a past coworker or even a past client.

OLD COWORKERS: she used to be a paramedic so if anyone is in the field of first responders, she would definitely know them

EXES, OLD/CURRENT FLINGS, ANYTHING IN BETWEEN: she's single now and was at one point so there's a lot of ways we can have fun and drama with this connection

A BAD NEIGHBOUR: someone who drives her crazy and she goes out of her way to do the same!

[desertblvsh]

Nadia blurted out a laugh, shaking her head as warmth crept into her cheeks all over again. "You know, I don't think anyone's ever called that side to me a turn on before," she admitted, the corner of her mouth tugging upwards. At the question, though, her smile softened, her gaze dropping briefly to her glass before lifting to Kiraz. "Yeah," she answered honestly. There was no point pretending otherwise. And she'd learned that honesty was the best way to go about things after.. you know, everything. "I was married and.. let's just say I wasn't always the person I wanted to be. I hurt someone I loved, and he hurt me, and that's.. probably something I'll always carry with me." Her shoulders lifted in a small shrug, simply stating fact and not at all looking for sympathy. She was the first to admit her mistakes, of the person she'd become during her marriage. "I think that's why I asked, 'cause I'd never want to be part of putting someone else through that." She held Kiraz's gaze for a moment before a smile returned to her lips, a little lighter this time. "I appreciate that, but something tells me you don't scare that easily. Which.. I kind of like."

[kirazturan]

Kiraz flashed her a wink. "Clearly you haven't been spending time with the right people." There wasn't much about the woman in front of her that wasn't a turn on to Kiraz. Something as trivial as that wouldn't be what scared her off. Nor would the idea of her hurting someone. Sadly, Kiraz knew how it felt to be the person to hurt others and continue to do so. "I think hurting people always sticks with you more than it does when it's being done to you." Somehow, she could always rationalize why they'd done something and then forgive and move on. But the idea that she could be the one who could do something horrible and then have to live with the repercussions was always something that ate away at her. "I appreciate that and then when I think you can't get any hotter, you say something like that and it's just.." her head shakes as her hand moves towards her. "You're ridiculously hot. I mean, no question about you being attractive physically. But it's more personality and your heart." While she doubted that she needed to be reminded of that, Kiraz wasn't one to shy away from praising someone. "But if we can circle back to the subject of turn on. What kind of traits do you find attractive?"

[fromdvsk]

Jacob flinched, not at the thunder cracking or the lightning splitting open the sky above them, but at her words. Her spelling out her interpretation of the last six months felt like a punch to the gut. Not because it was accurate, but because with each statement, he could absolutely see how his actions had lead her to draw these conclusions. And he hated that despite his best efforts he had screwed this all up so bad.

"That's not—" He stopped himself, jaw tight, because arguing the specifics felt like missing the point entirely, and some distant, rational part of him knew that if they started arguing about the specifics, they'd never get to the heart of the matter. Drawing in a ragged breath, his chest heaved with the weight of a conversation that was ten years in the making. "The spark's never been the problem, Kiraz. You know that. You've always known that."

He took a step closer, close enough that he had to tilt his chin down to hold her eyes, close enough he could see her trying not to let the hurt show through the fury. "I didn't come back to rub anything in your face. I came back because I couldn't do it from three states away. Some coward's phone call or a lawyer's letter. I didn't want that for you. For us." His voice cracked a little on the last word, and he hated it, hated that even now his body betrayed how much he didn't want this to be the ending.

"And speed dating wasn't me testing anything. It wasn't me deciding. It just... happened, the way it always happens with us, because apparently ten years of falling at your feet only to be tossed to the side isn't enough to burn the desire for you out of my system." With a huff, he let out a bitter and short laugh. "Believe me, I've tried."

His hand came up like he might reach for her, then thought better of it and dropped back to his side, fingers curling into a fist against the rain. "I filled out the papers because I was tired of standing still, Kiraz. Not because I stopped—" He broke off, shook his head, water flinging from his hair. "I don't even know what I feel most days. I just know I'm done pretending the not-knowing isn't killing me." He'd said a lot, probably too much. But in that moment, as he searched her face, desperate for something other than the razor edge, he didn't care.

[kirazturan]

"You still couldn't do it while in the same town," she clipped back as her hands formed into balls at her side. He'd ventured too close and the intensity of his gaze, the cracking above, and the thunderous emotions in her chest made her want to turn around and close the door. It was a default setting of hers when things got too intense. She'd run, shut herself away and everyone else out.

Her body vibrated with anger. Angry at the idea that he would do this, though she understood why. How could he not have? He'd endured years of being shut out and pushed away, all while simultaneously pulled back in. But still, she was angry. At herself, the situation, and that he hadn't been able to hold on for longer.

It felt torturous to want to turn him away, kick him aside as she'd always had, but also beg for him to rethink everything. He'd been her safe haven but there was no running to him for shelter when he'd removed that option the moment she'd heard the word divorce. "You seemed to know what you wanted enough to get paperwork started rather than coming to me about any of this." It wasn't like he hadn't tried, and she knew that, but she felt like he could have tried harder. Frankly, done anything but this.

The finality of his decision felt like it was suffocating and he'd set something in motion that she didn't know how to stop. "I'm happy that you made a decision for yourself." Clearly he wouldn't be stuck now that he had an out of....—whatever this was. It couldn't be called a relationship, much less a marriage. "So why are you here? Because you're sorry of how I found out or that you've done it? Neither changes anything. Finish what you started and file it. Is that what you want me to say? Don't come here and hope I'll be okay with it to make yourself feel better."

[dcmsonidris]

MELISA ASLI PAMUK & MERT EGE AK Sen Büyümeye Bak (2024)

[nextchaptcrs]

"Yeah, we're lucky to have such a good arrangement." He quickly replied, silently agreeing to drop the subject as well. "Okay, so the most important thing I learned is be whoever you want. Pride's about that. Can you just be yourself? Yes, of course. But you don't have to stop there. This is so cheesy, I know, but it's just... I've always felt like Pride in Sedona makes anything feel possible." Elliott remained quiet for a minute, organizing the thoughts in his head before coming to a conclusion. "I don't think my learnings are gonna help whoever you're trying to impress. It's mostly all about going to big events with kids at this point." He chuckled and shook his head. "And I guess this kind of pep talk is more rehab's fault than dad talk. But, please, don't let me stop you. I can still be the sober friend who makes sure you get home safely."

"The whole dad thing going for me." He repeated after her, giggling between the words. "But, fine, I'll trust you on this, then. Dating is... tough." He sighed. "It feels like yet another thing to have on my plate, maybe a dangerous one. I don't know." It felt like a confession. Elliott himself didn't even know he felt like that. Before Kiraz brought it up, he really hadn't give it much thought. "You speaking from experience?" He actually wanted to know the answer to that. The writer remembered her relationship with Jacob from many years ago, but after everything that happened after the accident and not keeping in touch, he never knew how and if things ended and didn't yet have the opportunity to ask.

His attention turned towards the bracelet again, a small smile on his lips as he put it away on his pocket. "Well, in that case, thank you. I'm sure she'll love it."

[kirazturan]

She couldn't help but smile when she listened to him speak and how clearly open he was to all kinds of people in the world and his circle. It gave her hope that there was better in this world than she'd originally thought. "You're kind of making me feel all the emotions because your daughter is so lucky to have you in her life and I think that there needs to be more people like you around, especially raising children." He would teach his daughter to think the same way and that was needed in this day and age. Her mouth closed for a moment as she shifted uncomfortable. "No— and actually, I shouldn't even be drinking." Alcohol had always been an issue but she had it under control now as opposed to before but she knew by the many conversations with sponsors that she'd had in the past that it was only a matter of time. "We can find something else that's fun to do without alcohol."

He was right about dating which was also why she hadn't done it... ever. Certainly she'd found the company of people throughout the years and enjoyed getting to know a few others casually but nothing that was serious. "You'll know when the time is right. Most of the time it's when you meet someone who's worth putting the time and effort in, I guess. Not that I'm talking from experience. You actually shouldn't take any advice from me.... like at all." She wasn't good at love and her past relationship proved as much. Her head shook and she flashed him an half-hearted smile. "Definitely not." Which was why she stopped while she was ahead. "Actually, maybe forget everything that I said."

[fromdvsk]

Dre's grin didn't quite reach his eyes, but it was close enough to pass as he settled into the chair across from her, the wood creaking under him like it was already skeptical of his life choices. "Deepest, darkest secrets, huh?" he repeated, swirling what was left of his beer like it might offer better answers than the woman now lighting a candle between them. "Pretty sure I've got enough of those weighing me down already. Don't need a stranger confirming I'm cursed too."

He said it light, teasing, but there was a beat after where his eyes flicked to the tent flap, as if he stared hard enough he could somehow acquire x-ray vision that would let him see if Darius was still on the other side.

"So what's the move here," he murmured under his breath as he leaned towards Kiraz so he wouldn't be overheard by the tarot reader who was currently preoccupied with shuffling the cards with overly theatrical flair, "we each get our own truths, or are we doing this Bonnie-and-Clyde style where our futures get tangled up together?" He arched a brow at her, equal parts amused and wary. "Because if the cards say we're stuck with each other, I want it on record that this was your idea."

[kirazturan]

Kiraz peered in his direction and flashed him an understanding smile. Both because of what she knew he'd gone through recently but because she understood that from a personal level as well. Her life wasn't going all that splendid either. "You might come out of this feeling a whole lot better about what's going on in your life once your hear about mine." Luck hadn't been on her side in the past and she doubted it would be on her side in the future either.

Her gaze shifted from him towards the tarot reader when he lowered his voice and indicated that there was a chance that they might found out more than they're both ready for.

"You think there's a chance that you and I would get tangled up?" Her finger went between the both of them as she twisted her features. "I don't think your life could get any worse for you." Meaning that he didn't deserve to be dragged down by her so she was more on the doubtful side of that. As for Kiraz, it would be a positive because Dre was attractive and it meant she wouldn't end up alone but she didn't feel like that would be in her cards. "Let's do it each on our own. I can be here to hold your hand if you need it." Her hand extended teasingly, "—or leave, of course."

[nextchaptcrs]

"It's fine." He shrugged it off. "She gets to be with me all the time, so when Allison gets a break I let them enjoy it, even if it means me just roaming around all weekend." Elliott chuckled, but quickly his expression changed and he lifted his eyebrows, surprised by the fact that the woman was alone. "That'd be nice. I had like a bunch of stuff planned so June could have it all on her first Pride, so I became an specialist. You in the mood for something specific?" He looked around, trying to grasp exactly where they were so he could later direct them to whatever activity they chose. "Liquid courage is overrated, if you ask me. It's Pride, how about you go with actual courage?"

"Hm." He narrowed his eyes. "Wait, actually? I thought it was just dad stuff. But then you have to consider that I've not really been in the, like, dating game, so you probably know more than I do." Her comment did have him blushing, because he'd actually never heard that before. Elliott watched her getting the bracelet first, before taking it in his hands to get a closer look. "Definitely not grey, you think that'd be possible considering this?" He showed one of his hands with the nails painted in a hot pink color. "Don't worry, I'm sure she'll love it. But I mean... It would look good with your outfit too. You sure you don't wanna keep it?"

[kirazturan]

"I'm sure she appreciates the time she has with you and the fact that she's able to have time with her other parent as well." It brought an unwanted thought forward for Kiraz, half wondering if things would be different in her situation if she'd been lucky enough to remain pregnant. Whether it would have saved them or not, and if they'd have been good co-parents. Her head bowed for a second, unable to give the thought more life than it had already taken so she was grateful for his next words and the distraction they brought. "You should give me some facts so I can use them to impress." Who? No one in particular but she was just curious to know what he learnt. "Ah— you're such a dad, coming in with the pep talk. I like it."

It was funny how people didn't realize how attractive they were or could be. "No, definitely not. I mean, it adds. You're already very attractive without the whole dad thing going for you." Which was a green flag given how much he lit up whenever he spoke of his daughter. "Take my word for it. You should get out there. But only if you're ready." The dating world wasn't for the faint of heart and it wouldn't be worth his time if he wasn't actually serious about it. Peering at the hot pink color, she sent him a smile. There was definitely some of that in the bracelet that she was trying to give him. "No, I think it should go to her and she'll likely get more use out of it than I would." It would stay in her jewelry box and be forgotten but perhaps the little girl would find a reason to wear it somewhere else.

[fromdvsk]

He opened his mouth to answer her first question, but the second one killed any explanation before it could form. His gaze dropped to her open hand and he stood there blinking at it a couple times like he was still processing what she was asking.

Rain drops kept pelting his face. He blinked through that too, and finally lifted his eyes to meet her gaze. And boy was it angry. She had every right to be angry at him.

"No, Kiraz, look—" He dragged a hand down his face, exasperated, just as thunder cracked overhead like the sky agreed with her. "Sage told me what she told you. That's not- that's not what I wanted."

Where did he start? How did he explain when he had no clue what he actually wanted? His shoulders slumped in defeat, "I just came here to explain."

[kirazturan]

There had been days, moments in their story where she'd imagined this exact outcome. Maybe he would one day move on and find her with a stack of papers and a desire to be free. She'd wondered how she would react and whether she would feel relief or pain at the notion that the dream she'd destroyed for both of them wouldn't forever be their constant and that perhaps they could both be set free.

Now that it was here. That she was living that exact scenario—nothing she felt was close to relief. It felt like an old wound had been scratched and turned infected: oozing and pulsing with pain. While the anger was directed at him, she held a lot of it for herself as well. The notion that maybe she should have been the first to take the step in order to avoid the pain of being left.

"Not what you wanted? What part exactly? That I heard it from someone other than you? That not only were you going to divorce me but you decided that this would be the perfect moment to return to town so I'd have to see you every day and have it rubbed in my face while you decided to move on? Or the fact that you needed us to sleep together one last time to solidify your decision?"

"I guess the spark wasn't there. Maybe I should have went down on you for longer."

Her tone was razor sharp, quite enjoying the scenery of him being pelted by rain and the sky lighting up long enough to see anguish on his face.

"Is that everything? I feel like I may have already put it all together."

[fromdvsk]

CLOSED STARTER ⸺  kiraz @kirazturan SETTING ⸺ at the tarot reading tent

As Dre navigated through the crowd, a beer bottle in hand, he could appreciate that for once since the fire at the church, he was actually having a good time. There had been too much tension with his father and brother, too much apprehension over whoever started the fire acting again, and too much guilt on his shoulders for too many things lately. It had weighed on him, and admittedly, he'd allowed himself to wallow. Spending all of his days and nights at Le Rouge, he'd been able to feign business when in reality, he was drowning.

The Pride event was providing a welcome distraction. So when Dre spotted Darius heading his way, he ducked into the nearest tent without a second thought, colliding with a folding chair draped with scarves beside a table decked with crystals, a set of tarot cards, and... was that a crystal ball? As his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, he realized he must have stumbled into the tarot reading tent. He was just about to sneak out when he spotted Darius now on the other side of the tent, clearly looking for him. Dre ducked back into the tent just as someone else entered from the line. Dre held up his hands in a show of innocence as a familiar figure approached the table. "I didn't know I was signing up to have you read my cards?" he teased.

[kirazturan]

Kiraz wasn't sure where to start with many of the events and venues offered. There were too many to pick from, and all had their fair share of lines and crowds that indicated they were all worth investing a bit of time into. She'd initially seen the tarot reading and despite it having peaked her interest given the new uncertainty in her life, she chose that being blissfully unaware had to be better than hearing that she'd end her life alone and miserable. That was worst case— sure. But Kiraz always had horrible luck and if someone had to hear the worst case, it would be her.

But as the night progressed, the curiosity got the best of her and she decided to give into the temptation. If it was bad news, then she'd chalk it up to not being real. As she entered the tent, Kiraz froze when she noted Dre on the other side. "I could have said the same about you." Just as she was about to ask if he was here for the reading, she peered at the woman who stepped out from behind a curtain and asked them both to sit down. "I.... — We're not actually trying to get our reading together." As in, they weren't together. But after the woman continued to push, Kiraz just decided to sit. Perhaps she was trying to shorten the line that was beginning to gather outside by killing two birds with one stone. "Is this where we find out each others deepest, darkest secrets?" Her next words were for Dre, unsure if he was even willing to have her sit in on this.

[wrnglr]

Hank's eyes narrow slightly at the off-putting accusation. Not in anger, necessarily, as he's more so wounded by it.

"Charity?" he recoils, as the word tastes strange coming on his tongue. Afterwards, a dry laugh escapes, brief yet humorless. "Jesus Christ, Kiraz."

He shakes his head, leaning back against the stool as though he needs the distance more than he needs to win whatever this is argument is between them. "You really think that's what I think of you?" His gaze settles on her again, steady and unflinching. "You think I go home with you because I feel sorry for you?" His jaw flexes. "You think I spent years getting tangled up with you because I'm doing some kind of community service?" The corner of his mouth twitches, but there isn't anything amused about it. "No."

He lets the word sit. "No. If I wanted charity work, I'd volunteer at the church. I don't do this because I pity you." His eyes drift toward her abandoned drink before returning to her face. "I do it because I want to." It's as simple and honest as that.

"Because sometimes I don't want to think about shit either. Sometimes I don't want to go home to an empty house and another night listening to my own head. Sometimes I want something easy. Something familiar. And yeah, sometimes that something's you." There's no shame in the admission. No romance either. Just two tired people and the truth sitting between them. "And maybe that's selfish. Hell, I know it is. But don't pretend like I've been sacrificing myself at the altar of you all these years." His thumb rubs absently against the side of his glass. "We've both gotten something out of it. And, whether we care to admit it or not, we've enjoyed ourselves doing it."

After next question lands: do you think we can keep doing this? All prior humor disappears entirely. His eyes drop to the floor for a moment. To the bar. To his hands. Anywhere but at her. Because that's the kicker, isn't it? It's not what night it is. Or the drink, or the temptation that sits between them. It's just.... them.

Slowly, his gaze lifts back to hers. "No." The answer comes quietly, and he hates it. "No, I don't."

His voice is rougher now. "I think we could. I think we want to." A sad smile ghosts over his mouth. "We're professionals at it, aren't we?"

He lets out a breath through his nose. "We keep finding each other. Keep scratching the itch. Keep disappearing afterward. Keep pretending we don't know exactly what the other one's doing." His head tilts slightly. "Eventually though, we'd wake up one day at fifty-five and realize we spent half our lives using each other as Novocaine."

His eyes soften then. "And I don't think either of us deserves that." She sure as hell doesn't. "It probably should've stopped a long time ago."

A beat passes. "But I don't think either of us was ready for that." His gaze stays on hers, searching her face with that same unbearable familiarity. "Maybe you're right though.... maybe it should end tonight."

The words almost hurt to say as he drifts closer to her, enough she can feel the heat of his breath. "Or maybe it doesn't have to... I don't know....." He shrugs faintly, though something in his chest feels tight. "Don't put that kind of pressure on me, Kiraz." His voice softens. "Don't make me the bad guy because I won't make the choice for you to walk." Another beat. "Because if you ask me whether I want to go home with you tonight?" He smiles then. "Yeah." The answer comes without hesitation. "Course I do." His eyes hold hers. "I know exactly how it'd go. We'd leave here. We'd forget about everything for a couple hours. And tomorrow we'd wake up feeling exactly like we do right now." He swallows. "And despite knowing that?" His fingers finally push his untouched whiskey away. "I still want to." There's no pride in that, just the truth. The raw, honest truth. "But wanting something and thinking it's good for you aren't always the same thing." And God, isn't that the story of them? This constant straddle of the in-between.

[kirazturan]

Every fibre in Kiraz's body wants to reach out and tell him to stop speaking. Shove him towards the door and be done with it.

But like every addict, the temptation was always present —and in this instant, strong enough that she wavered. If it wasn't the bottles lining the wall, it was the self-hatred, or the itch for a distraction in the form of tight grasps and colliding bodies.

Some of those she'd managed to almost wean herself from but others had proven to be harder. When there was spaced between her latest temptation, she could fool herself into thinking that she'd kicked the habit until she came face to face with it again.

Much like the description of the sensation of a warm drink hitting the back of her throat, burning its way down to her chest, heating her veins until the delicious buzz melted all the thoughts and reminders of the pain she felt— his description of the two of them left her itching for a release.

The truth was that it wouldn't be hard to collide into him and make their way back to his place. She remembered his address and knew exactly that his place was closer than hers was— but also easier to sneak out from when she'd inevitably wake up in the early morning with a new bout of self-hatred at her inability to just walk away from something she knew wasn't good for her.

"Someone needs to be the bad guy and I'm tired of being that person." She'd been the bad guy in her own head for so long for the things that had happened with her past relationship. There wasn't any comparing the two but the exhaustion of carrying the weight of that had worn her down, but the alternative meant that she'd wake up with a new reason to dislike the person in the mirror. Another mindless hook up instead of facing the demons head on.

"God— you need to shut up." It should have been enough. The fact that he'd even indicated he wanted to should have been the exact thing that made her reach for him and ordered he take her home right then and there. At least a step up from the old Kiraz who would have made her way to the bathroom or their car— shamefully, some back alley as well. The itch for a rush of avoidance made it that she didn't care how it came to be except for being able to get it as soon as possible. "You can't say shit like that and then say you don't want to be the bad guy."

Her feet step forward, allowing temptation to give in slightly. But it's not their familiar scenario. The difference was that her husband was in town and he wasn't leaving as opposed to having no ties apart from an estranged partner who lived somewhere else. It was different. It had to be.

The proximity almost steals her breath away, makes her throat dry to the point that all she wants is a swig of something strong. A hand reaches out to brush against his knuckles and without saying a word, Kiraz slips out past him and makes her way for the door. If she stops, so much as looks back, she knows she won't make it out of there alone. In a true addict form, her trembling fingers curl into a fist.

At least until she reaches for her phone to text her friend.

"I need to get to a meeting."

the end.

[kirazturan]

The brunette peered towards him and flashed him a smile. It had to be hard to come to work and be treated as an un-licensed shrink and then deal with other personalities who weren't always favorable after a night of drinking. "I don't think that you should be expected to fix any kind of problems and I guess I didn't think that you would." She wanted him to know that he shouldn't feel bad for her returning back to the same state she'd arrived in. One that was sad and slightly worn down. Not from any other doing than her own. "People have a lot of shit that goes on and you're just here trying to serve drinks. I wish I was a little more peppy to make your night better but I don't know that I have the energy for that."

[omarixwatkins]

Omar held up a hand, "Don't put that on yourself." There wasn't an ounce of pity in his expression, only wanting to reassure the woman sitting at the bar. "You don't owe me an entertaining conversation simply because I poured you a drink." That had never been the expectation for him. "Us bartenders are here for the good nights and the bad nights." His shoulders lifted into a shrug as he spoke. "We celebrate with people but we also see them through breakups, bad news and trying to figure out what comes next." His smile softened as he looked at her.

[kirazturan]

the end.

[nextchaptcrs]

"Hello and happy pride for you too, Kiraz!" Elliott replied, but he was already smiling. Everyone was absolutely right to think Juniper was the better version of him. "June's mom is visiting this weekend, so they're off having a Girls Only Pride Day, apparently. No boys allowed, I was specifically told." He said, and opened his arms to give her a better look on his outfit. Turns out Pride gets a good mood out of everyone.

"She actually hated it. Got mad at me 'cause we didn't have enough glitter for the both of us in the house and she didn't have the time to paint the rest of my nails." It was actually hard not to laugh while re-telling the chaotic morning they'd had. "I told her I was channelling my best dad energy, but she wasn't having it. But you agree with me, right? Comfort is key! Yours looks amazing and I bet you'll enjoy everything more." He reasoned, sipping on the watter bottle he'd just bought. "Maybe your bracelet will win me a few points with her, let's see it."

[kirazturan]

"That isn't very pride day of them." Kiraz said with a smile given that part of pride was that most people were invited and welcome. Apparently they decided that there were exceptions to that rule today but she had to side with them because girls were often right— those were just the rules. "Luckily for you, I'm also by myself right now so we can keep each other company. I was thinking of trying out some of the activities they have set up but I may need some kind of drink to give me a boost of courage first."

Her lower lip jutted out because that had to be the cutest thing she'd ever heard and her heart melted over the fact that he allowed her to basically decorate him as she saw fit. 'You know it's really attractive that you let her do all of that." It wasn't her hitting on him but simply stating a fact. "Comfort will always be key." At the reminder of the bracelet, she picked it out from her back pocket and showed it to Elliott. "There's a bunch of different colors but there's a lot of purples and blues which I think could be suited for everyone. Please don't tell me her favorite color is grey or something." The bracelet had none of that in it.

[kirazturan]

during the pride in the desert for @nextchaptcrs ( eli )

"Where is the better version of you?" And by that she meant his daughter who Kiraz had been lucky enough to get to know. Her gaze flicked around before it moved back to him to actually take in what the male was wearing.

"Did she help you pick up the outfit?" It was simple but so was hers which was why she was able to appreciate it more. Not that she didn't adore what everyone else was wearing but comfort had always been most important to her. "I played a game at one of the stands and won a bracelet if you think she'd like it, you can have it to give to her."

[kirazturan]

at the pride in the desert for @vcrbis during the drag brunch

"Do you need some dollar bills." Kiraz had a pile pressed to her chest because she'd been hurriedly handed some when someone nearby rushed away due to some kind of urgency that needed to be attended immediately. "I've got way too much and i need to share the love."

She didn't want to be a point of attention throughout all of this because she was the one with most of the money in hand. "I love your outfit, by the way." Kiraz smiled before handing over a small stack and then reaching for the mimosa she'd ordered. "The money isn't mine, by the way. So no reason to feel guilty or weird by it. Someone handed it over but had to leave and figured the drag queens deserved the money regardless."

[kirazturan]

[fromdvsk]

Jordan just shook her head, trying not to laugh at her friend's expense. "How do those two know anything? They just have super power spidey senses when it comes to drama in this town." Finally, a chuckle escaped her lips, but at Kiraz's suggestion about Jacob, her smile disappeared. She didn't mind a little meddling, but when it came to Kiraz's marriage, that was no one's business but hers and Jacob's and Jordan wouldn't have appreciated if Miss Dolli or Miss Marilyn had intentionally used the night to make a dig at it. "Girl, no one thinks they could actually hold a candle to you. Miss Marilyn and Dolli gotta know that's a lost cause by now."

With a sigh, she shrugged her shoulders at Kiraz's suggestion. "But if I do, doesn't that give him more ammo to try to sabotage Open Range or something?" She hated the hopelessness that trickled into her voice. "He works for Prescott Development, I think. I honestly threw the business card away without even looking at it," she admitted, attempting to bring back her bravado from before. She chewed on her lip for a beat as she considered her situation, before glancing back up at Kiraz. "I just can't help but wonder, if someone was willing to go to the lengths attempting to burn down the church, they clearly don't like being told no..."

[kirazturan]

The brunette didn't know whether there had been research done when it came to the matches or she was just that unlikely. For the most part, people were aware of her marriage and her old friendship with Summer but she was certain that people hadn't been aware that she'd had a brief fling with Roman. Unless he'd mentioned something. But even she found that hard to believe. "They're psychics. I wouldn't be surprised they have some kind of gossip blog about all the things going on in town." Her head shook, though it tilted to the side. "I'd read it—honestly." While she was still a little shook by that night, she had to admit that she'd seen some salacious pairing and they'd done a job well done otherwise.

Her features twisted and she let out a small sigh because there was a chance that it would put her at risk. "Do you feel like you've been threatened because that may be different if you think that there's a chance that someone can do something like that to your business?" The idea made her feel sick and without proof, she knew that there wasn't much that could be done legally, but perhaps it was worth notifying someone in case something did happen. "Have they just come to see you that one time or has it been ongoing?"

[sunsetfumes]

"i'll take ya up on that, kiraz, if you're sure," paige's head nodded forward, seeking confirmation of what the brunette had offered. more than most she was confident that the now lawyer knew what she was talking about and getting into, but the blonde was careful given how bad things had gotten. her recent injuries springing to mind. "it means a lot to me that ya even care to offer," she ensured. it went beyond that because a lot of people said a lot of things bur she knew the brunette meant it.

the package of cupcakes in her hand crinkled and while they were standing there talking, paige had decided to set them back on the shelf. kiraz had her full attention while she was talking, even through the tough parts and emotions. even through the bit of shame for already having known. "i'm sorry ya had to find out that way, but it might mean somethin' that he hasn't brought this to ya yet. y'know?" paige's brow crinkled, hoping she could somehow dispel a bit of the anger the other woman was feeling but then again she understood something like that had to be devastating. "especially given y'all found a way into bed again. makes me think there's another on phase with ya," paige shrugged.

"look," the blonde rested a hand on one of the shelves and leaned into a bit, "i ain't tryin' to stick myself in business that don't belong to me, but ya still feel like family to me..." given her three decades and change of friendship with jacob when he got married his wife became apart of what she considered extended family. "y'all ain't had a real marriage in some time, so if ya don't wanna be divorced and fuckin' off to whatever ya want...then why don't ya fight for him and the marriage?"

[kirazturan]

While Kiraz knew that she should have recommended people who were better suited to help and were still doing up to date training, she was more eager to feel needed and helpful like she used to feel as a paramedic. It had been years since she'd felt the spark and she still craved it every single day. "Of course. Call anytime." Honestly, Paige would be doing her more of a favor than anything else. As much as it was for them, it was very much a selfish offer as well.

It was odd and perhaps a little twisted for her to be discussing this with his best friend of all people. She'd gotten close to Sage and Paige throughout her time with him despite the many years they'd been separated but she never suspected that she would have more discussions about this with them than she would have with the man who had filed for divorce. "I don't know," she sighed with a pinch of her nose. "He doesn't know that I know yet. I asked Sage for a day or two to process. I just figured that he would have at least told me before he brought it to anyone else." It was one thing to reach out for advice before doing something but he had the paperwork so his decision seemed to be made.

It wasn't like she hadn't thought of fighting for it but maybe she just hadn't thought that she needed to. They'd been doing this for so long that she just figured it work in some fucked up way. "I didn't know that I needed to or that he was miserable. It wasn't like he ever said anything." But even she knew that she hadn't given him the opportunity to do so. Whenever things got deep, Kiraz all but shut the door straight in his face. "I didn't know he felt this type of way and it just... I don't know, it feels extreme. Has he told you anything?"