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STILL THE BEST BREAKUP SONG EVER EVEN WHEN YOU’RE NOT GOING THROUGH A BREAKUP IT’S A1

HOW TO ADULT WHAT

Step 1: Determine your body is too tired to play roller derby today Step 2: Go to yoga instead Step 3: In a post-yoga high, visit your local cold beer and wine. Step 4: Remember you need to plan all your courses for your upcoming year of full-time school tonight, you haven't been in school for 4 years but this should be so easy. Step 5: Drink two ciders before starting. Step 6: ???? Step 7: Best career ever.

#at least it's fun now

I imagine that divorcing couples are capable of putting each other through some shit, and im interested what kind of stories their lawyers are...

Just reading this and imagining how terrible I would be to divorce.

#reddit #divorce

Bye Jersey! 13 years ain’t too bad for a kitty. You will be missed as my post-breakup-cuddler-in-chief dearly as I approach the latter years of my 20s. And maybe Oliver will need to learn to open his eyes in pictures.

Youtube like, totally gets me.

#youtube #suggestions #octodad #dadliest catch

alwaysmoneyinthebnanastand-deac

kirbee-blog

I feel like this a lot of the time though.

Just roller derby things

Before roller derby: trying to be really skinny After roller derby: trying to be as jacked as possible, getting excited as my boobs disappear (they appear to have been eaten by my ass)

#roller derby

I got (part of) this song stuck in my head today and now that I forced myself to actually re-listen to it it’s completely worse than I had even imagined.

#i know what boys like #the waitresses

Do you ever justify taking so many selfies of yourself by thinking of them as data points for a plastic surgeon to reconstruct your face if you were in some terrible accident?

Yeah me neither

#selfies #selfie #plastic surgery #vanity #whatever

This pun: a succinct summary of what I saw in my ex.

St. Patrick's Day drunk eating enthusiasm = forgetting how to teeth in your mouth

#so much blood #this is after i cleaned up a bit #o lawd

I get really uncomfortable when other people try to commandeer the conversation

I learned this about myself today

If I feel like someone is literally driving the conversation rather than letting it flow naturally (and usually to ask unnecessarily personal questions or to talk more about themselves) I just want to nope out of there so hard ... But I’m too polite so I just get increasingly uncomfortable.

Literal t-shirt weather here in Vancouver. Amazing.

This was what I ate for dinner on Valentine's day, fyi.

The next time I have to do one of those bullshit team-building circle exercises where you go around and need to say an adjective that best describes you, I’m gonna fuckin’ bust a nulliparous out there:

nulliparous adjective nul·lip·a·rous \ˌnə-ˈli-pə-rəs\ : of, relating to, or being a female that has not borne offspring

Tru dat

#everyone would hate me #be so worth it

whatshouldwecallme

When a guy says “we’re” pregnant

kirbee-blog

Yo, this one time I jokingly asked my ex “what if I have to get an abortion” and he placed his hands on my stomach and said “what if WE have to get an abortion” and it was pretty funny tbh Also I wasn’t preg, never been #nulliparouslyfe

There is a T-Swift song for every moment in every relationship you’ve ever had and that’s why we can’t get enough of her

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