Why don’t you just leave?
Before asking a women this question, who has opened up to you about the abuse she has been going through, just think long and hard about it.
Before I was in that situation myself, I didn’t understand either. I genuinely believed i’d leave any man who treated me wrong. I in fact lived by it.
Men who abuse are not dumb, they are in fact very intelligent beings. They manipulate and coerce you into their web of lies. Once you love them, they know it’s easier to control you.
They show you the good in them, they show you glimpses of hope. They promise the world to you and show that they could change. It’s all lies of course, but because you love them you genuinely want to believe. So you give them too many chances.
The reason you also choose to stay, is because they have isolated you from family and friends, to make you feel you have no where to go but the streets if you were to leave. They take your money, they take your freedom. You are not aware of the severity of how bad the relationship has got because it’s all you have known for a long time.
You do not know until you are free.
I opened up to an older lady at my work about what happened to me, and she told me, and I quote “ You’re a naughty girl for staying though aren’t you”. She didn’t mean to offend of course, but in that moment, already defeated I thought, wow you’re so lucky to have never understand what it is like. To want to leave but feel like you cannot. I was shocked by this statement, but I understood in that moment that is innocent to what it is like, and I went along with it.
Do not victim blame, they have been manipulated to the point of which their reality may not even seem real. I many of times questioned, is this really life? Is this real?
Be there for the abused, support them. Don’t make them feel any less, tell them they are strong and you are glad they found the courage to make it out. You can also support them if they’re not out of the relationship by constantly checking up.
Abuse against women or men is unacceptable, do not ask a victim a why they didn’t leave sooner or yet. Because you clearly do not, and will not understand.
Hi everyone! This is my new blog I've just begun, I haven't been on tumblr for a few years now but I'm making way back due to an experience I've have had with domestic violence over the past few years. I need an outlet for my mind to cope with the aftermath now being free of it. If you want to know my story I'll be posting about it there! If you or anyone you know is struggling with something similar or just want to be aware of the signs for yourself please feel free to pop over and share your stories. It's important to support one another and make sure their feelings are valid. 🙌🏼💗 Spreading love and positivity to everyone!
