Kissing Bucket List Advice

hopeless romantic(s) Kissingbucketlist.tumblr.com's advice page! As of June 20, 2014

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

So my sister is turning 15 and I'm 16, and she has a crush on this guy in her year level. All of a sudden her crush has been talking to me and says that my legs are hot and seems really flirty. I don't know what to do because 1. My sister likes him, and 2. He is about a year younger than me, 2 year levels below me at school. But he is kinda hot I won't lie. What should I do? I feel like I'm in such a awkward position...

Hey girl, straight up- men come and go but sisters are life long shit. Personally, I don’t think it’s worth potentially hurting your relationship with your sister for a guy. It will hurt her a lot if you start to date him. How would you feel if the situation was reversed? Just don’t do it. There will be other men. 

-Alyssa

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

Okay so I've been friends with this boy ever since pre-school and everybody thinks it would be cute if we were together. The problem is 1. He's shy and doesn't date people 2. I don't know if I actually like him or if I just think I do because everybody wants me to like him. My mom also believes he has had a crush on me too (ever since pre school). And I mean.. I always feel happy when I'm around him but I don't know how to figure out if I like him as a friend or more?

Just play it by ear. Start to talk to him more. Hang out with him in group settings. Then if you’re feeling him try maybe you want to hang out with him on a one to one date. By getting to know him better you’ll be able to determine whether or not you like him on dating level or friend level. Good luck!

-Alyssa

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

This guy that used to go to my school (who's a grade below me) moved away. He started messaging me on Facebook saying cute things and we have poke wars and it's all fun. Since he plays basketball we were having a tournament at my school so he played! He asked me to go so of course I did! But I had to leave at halftime for a little bit bc of my own reasons but I came back to support. After the game he had to leave right away but he doesn't seem to want to talk to me now? Should I say something ?

Hey there. You can absolutely just say to him something along the lines of, “Sorry I had to leave the game for a bit. I had something to take care of but you played awesome. Thanks so much for inviting me. I had a great time.” Hope everything ends well!

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

Heeey! I am interested in one of my best friend's friend, and I talk to him occasionally. I don't really know what to do because I don't like to be the one who talks first 'cause I usually don't know what to say. Should I just take the risk?

That’s a tough question. I feel like this question really depends on the person you are. Personally, I don’t make the first move because I am the world’s biggest chicken. However, if you are ballsy enough to make the first move I say do it! Whats the worst thing that can happen? Just be prepared for the worst but hope for the best. You can start the conversation casually & just say hey. Or maybe tell him his shirt is cool (or shoes, glasses, etc). Good luck

-Alyssa

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

soo i need advice (f16) in a couple of weeks im going to punta cana as a sort of prom trip. and there will be of course a lot of making out and booze, but i haven't done anything sexual and i don't know whether or not if i should do something there bc there's no way anyone is finding out and i don't know what to do, pls help me

Hey there. You should only do what you feel 100% comfortable with. Never let peer pressure or what others are doing influence your decisions. If you want to drink & you feel comfortable doing it then have some booze (within moderation & be safe!!!!). If you meet someone you’re vibing with then kiss him/her! But please please please do not do anything unless you are 100% comfortable with it. Again, let me reiterate- only do things because you want to not because others are doing it. Good luck!

-Alyssa

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

Hello I need some help I've been hanging out with this guy for a month now and we've done nothing farther than kissing ( which I'm fine with I'm only 16) but today he asked me to try something different like a trick ? Idk the only thing I do is bite his bottom lip I can't think of anything else do you know any umm tricks hahah thankkksss

A trick? That could mean a lot of different things but tbh I can’t tell you what he meant by it. (It could mean anything from using tongue to a hand job to juggling lol) I think you should try to have an open & honest conversation with him to talk about what he meant & what his expectations for the relationship is. Sorry I couldn’t help more! 

-Alyssa

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

I went to a party of my school and this guy that is friends with a friend of mine wanted to kiss me, but I had to leave so when I said bye we kissed very shortly, and I left, but I think I like it and that is probably leading me to like him, but I don't know if it is just mixed feelings, plus my classes are about to end so I won't see him anymore. I don't know what to do...

If I was in your position, I would just play it casual & see what happens. Let everything happen naturally & don’t force it. If you see him over the summer then that’s awesome! If you don’t then try not to sweat it. I’m a firm believer that if something is meant to happen it will. Good luck!

-Alyssa

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

How do I choose between two boys that i have feelings for? (They both like me back)

Honestly, I don’t know. Personally, whenever I was dating/talking to more than one person at a time it was always clear to me which one I had (stronger) feelings for. Do you actually have feelings for them or do you just like that they like you? I would suggest going on dates with both of them to get to know them better. Make sure you’re open with them and tell them you’re seeing other people. 

-A

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

Hey I'm the anon who was asking about the guy who likes me but self harms. He wanted to do something one night and I said no and explained everything to him, about me just wanting to be friends with him for now and how I'm not really comfortable with sexual stuff. He seemed to understand and still talks to me a lot, but is having problems with his girlfriend and has been upset about it lately. So I guess I'm just taking one thing at a time, but he still insists on eventually doing stuff with me.

He shouldn’t be “insisting” on doing anything with you. If you’re not comfortable and consenting to that kind of talk it’s sexual harassment and inappropriate. Sometimes people won’t break things off with their significant other until they know they have a backup or replacement. That might be what he’s doing with you. Although things are bad with her, he might be waiting until he knows for sure that you like him romantically before he breaks up with her. Just because he’s fragile does not mean he is allowed to make you uncomfortable or say inappropriate things. Remember that.

-A&A

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

So there's this guy I really like. I was talking to his best friend, and she said he was into tall girls. I'm 5'0. What do?

Talk to him anyway. See if he likes you for you- not for your height. You might click. People veer from their “types” all the time.

-Alyssa

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

So I've been talking to this guy for a while now, and idk for sure if I like him or not. He has opened up to me about how he has been suicidal and has been cutting and I help him as a friend. At the same time, he has also told me how much he likes me, wants to do stuff with me and is even willing to dump his girlfriend for me. What do I do? I don't know if I like him and he wants to do sexual stuff that I'm not comfortable with but I don't want to let him down. I'm so confused with everything.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life its- you can’t lose yourself to save someone else. You have to put yourself and your needs first. I would love to believe we live in a world where people put others first but unfortunately that’s not the case. People put themselves first and you need to do the same. At the end of the day when you’re laying in bed you need to be happy with yourself, your decisions, and your life. That being said, although what you did in helping him was extremely admirable, kind, and selfless, (as harsh as it sounds) you can’t put his needs before your own. Letting him down is not your main priority- your main priority is what’s best for you and based on what you said this is not what’s best for you. You seem very uncomfortable about the entire situation. You need to have an honest conversation with him and tell him how you’re feeling. Tell him you haven’t worked out your feelings yet and you’re not sure if you like him romantically or just as a friend. Tell him even if you do realize you like him romantically you’re not in a place in your life where you’re comfortable doing sexual things. If he respects that and is okay with waiting until you’re ready– he likes you for you. If he gets upset, mad, or defensive he wants you for sex. Since he is fragile, make sure you’re telling him everything in a gentle and kind way. You know him best so you’ll know how to tell him properly. 

Good luck and let us know what happens

Alyssa 

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

So theres a guy i wanna fuck but i dont know if he likes me and i just wanna like have kinda of a friends with benefits with him but i dont really know how to get him into me

You can’t get anyone to like you– you can only talk to him, get to know him, and see if there’s a connection between the two of you. 

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

Hey,so I have a question? I want to talk to a guy in my class who I like but I don't know how or what to say. He gets the same bus as me in the morning but gets on a few bus stops after me, I could easily talk to him then but I'm nervous any advice?❤

Click these 1 2 3 

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

My boyfriend (my first) ate me out but I didn't give him a bj because idk if I'm ready for that and I'm scared I'm bad at it.. I kinda wanna do it to please him tho. He does always turn me on when we're together.. what should I do? got tips? :p

First tip: don’t do anything you’re not ready to do. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing anything you’re not ready to do. One more time.. do NOT do anything you’re 110% sure and comfortable doing. 

As for bj tips.. first one I can guarantee it’s going to be much more enjoyable for him if you’re comfortable and enjoying it too! Don’t worry too much about it and do whatever feels natural for you. From personal experience and hearing friend’s experiences, everyone’s first bj is a little awkward. Mine was in a bathroom of my house– I was on my knees and didn’t even finish him off. (I would recommend setting yourself up in a better situation than that lol) Aside from that stuff go watch some porn! Go on pornhub and type in “amateur”  or “blow job.” Seeing will make so much more sense than anything I can write out for you. Good luck!

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

I am so nervous to date i feel That I won't make a Good partner and I'll make it awkward and boring ugh

I can guarantee you’re wrong and if you’re feeling that way in a relationship you’re not with the right person. The right person will bring out the good in you while you bring out the good in them. You’ll be a great partner because you’ll want to do everything in your power to make them happy. From my experience, relationships will come v natural and shouldn’t be awkward or boring. Simple things that can be boring by yourself will be fun your partner!

-Alyssa

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

How can I start talking with a guy I think is attractive if I'm introvert and don't know a damn thing about him?

Just how you would start talking to a guy who you don’t think is attractive (or a girl). Don’t over think it- just talk to him! Go up to him and ask what the bio homework is, when the big football game is, or if he wants to grab coffee and chat. Ask him a question or ask him to help you with something. I don’t have any context of how you know him so I can’t give you anymore specific details but have confidence and shine

Alyssa

[kissingbucketlistadvice]

I'm not that close with my future mother in law or sister in law, how should I incorporate them in the wedding planning? all my bridesmaids have little duties that they're working on, so I don't have much MiL of SiL could do.. but I want to start my life in their family on a good foot with them.

Tough situation. My immediate thought was you should bring them along on a shopping adventure with you! Even if it’s shopping for something small that isn’t that vital it’ll mean a lot to them- especially if you make it seem like you NEED their help and you’re so grateful for them coming with you. For example, having them come with you to pick out your shoes or the flowers for the wedding. 

If you really want to go for it you could bring them to a dress fitting. 

Let us know what you decide, 

Alyssa