ephemeral

writer, lover of books and poetry hiatus

[feral-ballad]

Franny Choi, from Soft Science; “On the night of the election,”

[Text ID: “I didn’t even get close. / I called and called / and nothing came. / I had a body, and / it refused to rise for work.”]

[kitano-nana]

There's a pain in me that will not be quiet.

I choke it to death, beat it until it bleeds, I light it on fire, I nurse it, I tuck it in and love it, I ghost it for days and sit to it with my back turned.

But it grows and grows like my shadow from the setting sun, it won't go away.

- nana kitano

[kitano-nana]

One day I will rip these bars from my windows and fall into the wide open sky

it would swallow me whole and take me back

I'd know how to breathe again

[kitano-nana]

I kept myself alive by thinking "I want to see summer again. I want to feel the warm sun on my skin again. I want to smell grass that softly bows in the breeze". It kept me alive because it was achievable. Because summer would come no matter what. It was in the future but I knew it would come to be.

[kitano-nana]

maybe if I fall

15 storeys deep

never hit the ground

but the asphalt opens up

engulfs me

swallows me up

like falling into dark water

and i sink

sink

sink

and it's finally quiet and

dark

Let me sleep, Nana Kitano

[kitano-nana]

I wonder why you're still there

when I go to bed

your scent still lingers on my skin and

your voice awakes on my pillow

your name tingles my lips

whenever I close my eyes to rest

the thought of you returns

like a ghost

and I don't know how to let you go

- It's 3 am again, Nana Kitano

[renissance]

louvre:: psyche revived by cupid’s kiss

[crushsuggestions]

but petals are slipping from your mouth like spring,

cherry blossom feelings,

dead by the time winter sings.

[purplebuddhaquotes]

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.””

— Mahatma Gandhi

[books-n-quotes]

“Once, I saw a bee drown in honey, and I understood.”

— Nikos Kazantzakis, Report to Greco

[leehakjoos]

Right now, you might not wanna feel anything. Maybe you never wanted to feel anything. But feel something you obviously did. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster, that we go bankrupt by the age of 30. And have less to offer, each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as to not feel anything… what a waste.

[books-n-quotes]

“The broken heart. You think you will die, but you just keep living, day after day…”

— Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

[kitano-nana]

I scream until my voice cracks Like an egg thrown against the wall Splashing like blood After skin is torn Ripped to pieces Crumbling to the floor Stumbling over broken bits Here and there Crying Tears, an endless stream Like rain drumming against the window Full of bitterness On which I choke And my tongue stumbles

Why won’t you say anything back, Nana Kitano

[kitano-nana]

Strange How I lived my whole life up until now And you, stranger, Who might be part of my life from now on, A friend, a lover…. You You don’t know yesterday’s troubled me You meet me as the one I am now Today’s me Because to you my yesterday’s me Is a secret

Yesterday’s me, Nana Kitano

[kitano-nana]

Today, sadness weighs so heavy I don’t know how to carry myself through the day

January, Nana Kitano

[kitano-nana]

It's 1 am and I am a little sad.

Lately I've been feeling like this a bit too often, Nana Kitano

[kitano-nana]

I don’t know how to tell you what it’s like to be in my head what never-ending sadness feels like. You’d have to dig your fingers deep into my skin And draw blood to get a taste of it

Nana Kitano