When you have a lot of time on your hand, you have a lot of time to reflect on your life. And at this point of my life, I cannot help how my life would be if I made different decisions. If I would be happier. Where my life would unfold if I would’ve said yes. If i would’ve said no. If I would’ve gone with my heart and not my head. I just cannot stop replaying the last 5 years of my life. I cannot stop thinking to myself what was I thinking. Why was I in a dead end relationship for 3 years? What compelled me to stick around. Why did I choose him over you? Where would I be now if I had chosen you? Would our relationship decease eventually. Would we have grown hatred for each other in the end. Why did I waste my time on insignificant things? Where would I be now if I would’ve focused on school and had my degree by now? Will 5 years from now I’ll be asking myself the same questions? The fear of the indecisive person is the consequences of deciding or not deciding at all.Â
Time is a painful thing. And I can’t help but go mad,
