it’s not like niki has a clean reputation on the internet—she’d admit that sometimes she likes to put on the good girl act, likes to play the pretty but dumb character, because that’s what some people like to believe. she’s only famous because she’s pretty. if she’s not pretty, nobody would even pay attention to her. even her youtube channel is boring. she’s seen a lot of comments, and a lot of the time they make her question herself: is that the real me? who is the real me?
when it comes to being a public figure, it’s hard to stay true to herself, but then again niki doesn’t even know which part of her is the real one. the influencer has lived all her life trying to fit into others’ expectations so much that she’s afraid to find her true self, afraid that she’d lose everything she has right now if she ever strayed from who the public believes she is.
(the thing is she really never tries to prove them wrong. instead she’s showing them that they’re right about all the things they say about her online. that’s her fucking problem, isn’t it?)
she doesn’t know what kyungmi thinks of her, if she believes what she’s heard, but right now is not the time to worry about that. you can keep that a secret. niki smiles in response to the other’s words. it won’t stay a secret for too long anyways. she’d post that selfie she took after getting out of the cold water on instagram later, and kyungmi would know if she ever sees it.
at kyungmi’s next words, niki raises a brow at her when she says, “me? how am i a fucking simp?” her tone almost sounds like she’s offended by the claim. “i thought people simp for me, not the other way around.” well, that’s what she thinks. maybe she is a simp after all … in some cases, but will niki ever admit it? maybe, maybe not. hugging herself to keep warm, niki gives kyungmi another offended look, which is quickly replaced by a teasing grin. “sounds like you’re the one who’s getting ideas, kyungmi. do you really wanna hug me that bad?” niki tilts her head to the side, batting her eyelashes playfully. “don’t be shy. come and hug me then.” not that she’d mind it anyways.
" i mean, people definitely simp for you. but you're not entirely innocent. " she gave a sheepish expression, her palm facing the sky as her shoulders lift slightly. she doesn't want to step over any boundaries, but she's also not going to lie. kyungmi is observant, and when someone's life is on the internet, it's not hard to spot who's in whos likes or comment sections. not to say kyungmi is innocent. she's undoubtedly tossed her morals out the window to get the attention of a pretty person, which may or may not be a surprise to some friends. " it's not an insult. " she waves her extended hand in the air. " i mean we all do it. there's "simping" in all of us. " the more she rambles, the more prominent the hole she’s currently digging herself in. perhaps not speaking at all is in her best interest.
she took the initiative to begin their trek back to camp. at times like this, kyungmi wishes she fell into the stereotypical introverted nerd category. the ones with no social life, no sex life, impaired vision, and gaming addiction. unfortunately, only two apply to her. (and she has perfect vision)
a laugh escaped at niki's comment, spinning around to look at her while steps continued backwards. " hug? you? what about all your fanboys? they would get so incredibly jealous. although it would be a great honour, i rather not put my life in danger. " she teases back, a grin tugging at her lips. " my ideas didn't have a hug in them. " she sends a playful wink before turning around. her free hand is sliding into her hoodie pouch. " but i'll make sure to put that nikita jung wanted to hug me in all my bios. "