Here comes a rant.
Okay, so I’ve just finally caught up on the 100 and let me tell you my heart is absolutely broken yet happy at the same time. Now, it’s no secret that I’m a die hard Bellarke shipper. Have been since the first season. But I am also a HUGE fan of the enigma that is Octavia Blake.
When the show first started Octavia was this naive girl who jumped into water without thinking about what could be in there, who danced with butterflies. She was a girl who fell head over heels in love with a man who at the time was meant to be an enemy. She was all heart, because these were all her first encounters with anything. She spent her entire life in one room, hiding from the outside world because she was made to believe she wasn’t supposed to be there. Her only human contact were her mother and brother until she was sixteen. And then when she was finally discovered she was locked up yet again, and then dumped on a planet that wasn’t even proven to be survivable. But she did survive. And she thrived. She became this badass warrior princess and was so fierce and good. She went from being this impulsive little girl to a calculated and skilled warrior. She was admirable.
And then Lincoln died. She watched the man she loved with her entire being, her first love, be brutally murdered in front of her. And it changed her. She became vengeful, merciless. As her story line progressed she delved further and further into darkness. At her core she was still Octavia. She was still good, she still cared about people. Hell, she won the conclave and saved the human race.
Now, Octavia was never perfect. She made a lot of mistakes, as all the characters do on the show. But through everything she did, Bellamy still loved her. He still protected her, even when she didn’t need protecting. Because she was his little sister. His responsibility. Which brings me to this weeks episode. The Bellarke shipper in me won’t let me miss the fact that Clarke being in danger is what drove Bellamy to poison his sister. But I don’t believe he necessarily chose Clarke over her. I believe that throughout the season he’s seen more and more that Octavia is not the same girl she was 6 years ago. She’s changed. She’s slipped almost, if not completely into darkness. She still has her vulnerabilities, and she still shows she cares at moments. But for the most part the girl from under the floor who loved things whole heartedly has now become this young woman who believes love is weakness. She’s become someone that won’t let herself be weak, let herself be hurt again. And Bellamy sees the change. And he has spent every episode since he got the bunker opened trying to convince himself that she’s not completely gone.
But Octavia planning to mass murder an entire village of people using parasites, and threatening to execute Clarke (who he loves), finally pushes Bellamy over the edge. And believe it or not I think he did it for octavia. He knows she can’t come back from this. He knows that when she looks back on what happened she would feel guilty. She’d feel the same guilt he and Clarke have felt because of the decisions they have made. When Octavia was born, Bellamy promised that he’d never let anything bad happen to her. I think that putting her in the coma so that she didn’t hurt any innocent people, was the only way he saw to protect her from herself.
So in conclusion, Bellamy didn’t choose anyone over Octavia. He still chose Octavia. He just chose the old Octavia, not this new Blodreina version of her.
