+ who's afraid of the...

@kmdavidson

K Y L E D A V I D S O N – A L P H A – | KQD.NQD.CND.LMD.LMD | And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me! I can't help this awful energy. God damn right, You should be SCARED of me, Who is in control? closed roleplay

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"That's very girl math of you," she teased, more thankful than ever for the change in conversation to something far less anxiety-inducing and equally less doom and gloom. Traffic slowed in front of them, Kaden waiting until it came to a rolling stop before she quickly leaned over, hand reaching for his far cheek so she could pull him into a featherlight kiss, "Maybe I'll even take you to the Lego store. Belated birthday present." After all, his celebration had been rather small with the chaos of their twins and their general lives, "Flatiron, not Fifth Ave. Avoid the tourists."

Kyle pointed at his temple, tapping on the tender spot multiple times. "Very mindful," he mused. When they came to their stop, he found himself sighing. Releasing the tension that seemed to always bracket his muscles. Her sudden kiss brought forth an even broader smile. One that made the rest of his tension fall away. "But what if I wanna fight them today?" He softly pounded a fist against her knee, a playful scrunch to his brows erupting before he bared his teeth. "Show them what happens when I get to have whatever Legos I want."

"Or," he continued her train of thought with an even better one. "I can put it together with super glue so that it'll never have a chance of breaking no matter how many times it falls." Because it was what his grandmother would do with him when he was younger. He'd always go around showing everyone his creations and fall into a melancholy the second he accidentally dropped and ruined it. "Or, build a whole ass new one and make it a Lego room at that point. Shit. I'll make you like twelve fuckin' swords."

"I still don't trust it to not break when it falls, super glue or not." Not to say she had bad thoughts about their children, but... They were half-Kyle after all, she had a feeling the trait of accidental, bull in a china shop destruction ran deep. "Technically, at this point you might just be able to buy me a real sword," she teased, "Though the thought of you slaving over a million Lego sets is wildly entertaining."

"Or," he motioned with his hand, face bright with excitement, "Hear me out. I build you a Lego sword." The possibilities were endless at this point. And he wouldn't have to limit himself anymore, and it seemed like a valid expense that wouldn't put them into financial ruin, or ultimately get him maimed. "And I can just take them apart so when the kids are older, they can work on it, so actually, it's an investment."

"Just as long as you keep it on a bookshelf... Put it in your office or something," she decided in a conscious train of thought, "Otherwise you're going to have some child knock it to the ground before you're even able to appreciate it." And then they'd both spend hours after the fact crawling around on the floor to find all the pieces. Kaden could already imagine it now.

"Or," he continued her train of thought with an even better one. "I can put it together with super glue so that it'll never have a chance of breaking no matter how many times it falls." Because it was what his grandmother would do with him when he was younger. He'd always go around showing everyone his creations and fall into a melancholy the second he accidentally dropped and ruined it. "Or, build a whole ass new one and make it a Lego room at that point. Shit. I'll make you like twelve fuckin' swords."

Her answer was immediate, firm, and without hesitation. The stick in the mud that he adored her for being, "You're not putting the Eye of Sauron on your nightstand." She kept her face neutral, "No legos in the bedroom... Maybe I'll concede to a little bookshelf with a couple in the bedroom," she decided as a passive afterthought. "And here I thought you'd go straight for wanting the Venator or AT-AT or something."

His eyes went wide in an elaborate display of how dramatic he could be. Even his shoulders went up to go on along with the facade. "I literally went for something considered 'small,' okay," he used his fingers to air quote the small. "Here I am, being considerate, but you set the bar with that one, it'll be that one."

She never would have been able to be with anyone else. Marriage with another never would have worked. Despite the rough times they'd endured and even the arguments they had now (though the number in recent history barely registered compared to their youth), she never would have been happy with another. Sometimes the urge to strangle Kyle may have been palpable, but, in moments like these where he knew exactly what needed to be said... She couldn't never find happiness with another. A choked laugh fell from her lips, potentially mistaken for a sob if it'd been around someone less familiar, "Or cashews." She'd needed it. She'd needed him. With the weight of the world approaching, there was nobody else in the world that she'd rather approach it with, "I love you."

"Organic, pre-shelled walnuts," he did his best to sound obnoxious. They'd spent too much of their life humble with finances, so he highly doubted they'd get to a point where they'd spend that much on a bag of nuts. It was still fun to make fun of. Her declaration, however, had Kyle reaching out for her. "And I love you." With his hand on her thigh, it felt good enough to let out a sigh. One that actually ventured to his lungs in a satisfying way. "Also, I hope you know this means we're so getting those Lord of the Rings Lego sets. And I'm putting the Eye of Sauron on my nightstand."

At this point, they'd been parents for the better half of a decade. Kaden wouldn't have given them up for anything. Sometimes she still loathed herself for bringing them into the world at all. Not, bringing them into the world, but bringing them into their world. Bringing them into a world that wasn't safe, bringing them into a world that hated them, and bringing them into a world that wanted to hurt them solely because of the parents they'd been born to. Sometimes she loathed herself. God, she fucking loathed herself. "And I'm not gonna argue with any of that."

He could feel where her thoughts were taking her. Always the strangling, thick sensation that had a quivering inhale going no where for him. Their family would be fine, and more importantly, they'd be fine, so that they could ensure things continued to be fine. It'd all be fine. "At least we can go to Citerella and get our kids some gourmet ass chicken nuggets now." The mood had to be lightened. The car's cabin would get too overwhelming, and there wasn't anything they could do about it until they got their ducks in a row. "Some $22 pistachios for you to snack on?"

Kyle's revelation hit her like a tone of bricks, her own face losing the little wash of color she'd gained back as it drained from her cheeks once more. Kyle was right. If his mom knew, it meant that it'd been broadcast, and that meant that the shitstorm of journalists, photographers, onlookers, and the like had just become so much more potentially rabid. A shaky sigh expelled from her lips, those same lips pulling tight and strained. Moments like these were the ones that made her wish they were further from the city and with more privacy, "You think anyone's gonna try anything?" The reporters were one thing. People actually trying to hurt them was another.

This was their life. This was literally their life. Anxiety became an ugly nemesis that twisted his heart, causing it to spasm in a way he hated. Had they truly won? Because it seemed like the Bureau still had a way to have the upper hand. "Not today," he answered honestly. They had a minimum of three days before some form of retaliation. Either from the headlines, or from hunters. Easily enough time for them to prepare and have things under control. "I'll talk with Sam, see what we can get going by tomorrow. Him and Tarryn are gonna spend the night the next few nights, though." He wasn't going to have it any other way.

Her eyes remained glued to the phone, the incoming call seeming endless when she knew all they really wanted was for it to disappear and be granted a few more moments of relative peace before they'd arrive to the social chaos of home. "I mean... You'll have to take the call eventually," she pointed out, though her hand reached for her phone anyway, opening up her message thread with Shannon to type exactly that. "You should probably just call her after dinner," she reasoned, "Use the excuse you have to help the girls get to bed if it drags too long."

"I'll call when we get home." That seemed like a decent compromise. It wasn't like she had his location, only Kaden did. As much as all his friends had each other's location, it simply wasn't safe. "Honestly, I'll be straight the fuck up and tell her I was stimmed and couldn't handle her shrilly voice in the car." His ears could only handle so much, and he'd make sure his dad was in the room when they called. A heavy sigh resonated, one that held years of stress. "That means it's been broadcasted."

"Like I said, until the money's in the account I'm—" Kaden cut herself off as the phone call came through, Kyle's words entirely all too accurate as Kaden also knew exactly what would greet him on the line when he picked up, "Just tell her you're driving. Then it'll be a short bout of crying congratulations... Maybe." Or maybe not, but either way it was an inevitable conversation that would need to happen eventually.

Kyle flicked his eyes between the screen and the road. A mental war occurring that had neither outcome he wanted – to not have to deal with his mother at the moment. Yes, he felt terrible for it, but he still needed time to process everything. "Or... Just text her and tell her we're still talking to Barb and them?" That seemed like a valid compromise.

"I don't want to do it right now." Though she'd been the one to bring up the possibility, his suggestions regarding possibilities and next steps only heightened her anxiety. She'd merely mentioned it as a possibility that they likely needed to think about, not as anything they needed to jump on right now or start contacting people about. Hell, Kaden still couldn't even find it in herself to believe she'd ever actually see any of the money they'd supposedly won, "We have time, Ky. We don't need to make any decisions about anything, not for a bit at least."

"Okay, yeah... Yeah..." Kyle continued nodding his head even though he repeated the trio of words another three times. It just didn't make sense to move. At least to him it didn't. "Maybe give it a couple days to ferment a bit, then circle back." Repeating exactly what she was saying. As if his mother had a ringing in her ear, her contact name of Dragon Lady displayed itself on the console. He wiped at his face, mentally preparing himself for the call. "She's gonna be cryin' the whole fuckin' time."

The corners of her lips twitched up so quickly that such a motion would have been easily missed. It was a forced smile, one she couldn't hold for longer than a moment or two before it faded away, "Yeah, maybe." The two words weren't exactly a disagreement, but it seemed they both held the same muddled uncertainty in their gut when considering such an option. "I don't want to move." The words came out easier than expected, nearly falling from her lips before she thought better regarding being so direct, "I also want us to be safe."

"And I don't wanna move either," Kyle jumped on her disclosure before she could change her mind. There was too much going on. The court case... Which was... Done... "Uh... We'll start looking into contractors and costs. See if we can find one that aligns with what we want. Maybe talk to your aunt and uncle, see what they recommend." And with the twins, it was going to be like with Natalie all over again. But worse, because now they had two infants, and two other children they'd have to mind while renovation was going on. "But we don't have to do in right now... Y'know..."

It'd only been throughout the past few years that Kaden had learned to think before she spoke (at least, some of the time). Right now? Each word came out almost delayed, as if Kaden was weighing each syllable against her very soul itself as she tried to navigate the all too delicate topic of conversation, "I—I just mean..." she hesitated, lips pursing as she tried to internally clarify to herself what she meant anyway before trying to explain, "It, we... Would it not..." Rarely did she ever clam up like this around him. Even whenever she didn't know what she wanted to say, she'd usually just stumble her way through it, "Would it be better to, I don't know, not be in a neighborhood?"

His thoughts were churning, and it wasn't in a good way. Would it make sense for them to leave the house? It didn't feel right in his gut, because that was their home. Albeit, modelled after her house growing up, but it'd been modified to fit them. Their family. "I mean... We could always have mom and dad move in there, and we can find another spot..." But it still didn't feel right. Kyle came to a stop, weighing the options as if they needed to have an answer then and there. "Maybe look around? See what's on the market?"

Kaden shrugged, appearing far more like a standoffish teenager than his wife of multiple years. Silence lingered between them, her lips parting although no sound had emerged. One beat of silence passed, then another, the words she finally decided upon stumbling forth disjoined and uncertain, "I—No." Did she? Not really. Their house was so much more than a <i>house</i>. "But... We're probably not as secure as we should be either."

Oh, God. She wanted to move. Why else would she take so long responding to him. Kyle bit on his bottom lip, willing himself to stay quiet to hear her out on whatever nonsense she was about to spew. The Wyoming thing again, or getting a house that'd fit his parents, too. He rose a brow at her, "Uh... We can just do upgrades to the house..."

A beat of silence passed, not because Kaden was necessarily opposed to the idea, but rather because she couldn't help but momentarily consider how his parents would respond, "Do you think they'd even want one?" she couldn't help but question, though admittedly she couldn't help but agree that it would be easier than trying to cram everyone into their house when they came to visit—and they wouldn't have to leave their dogs in Syracuse like they did half the time either. "Do you think we should..." Her voice caught in her throat, an emotion that she forced down before giving it the recognition of existence at all, "Should we upgrade to a larger place? A... more secure place?" Perhaps, perhaps especially with this new windfall, but their house to Kaden was.. It was so much more than a house.

"You'd know they'd be against it, but it'd also come in clutch for Zach and whoever's gonna come for us," he tried to find logic that would make sense to all parties. There was also the case where his parents had gotten them a car when they were starting their family, so getting them an apartment, or house, seemed... Fitting. Her next statement had him looking over at her. Eyes wide, but brows furrowed deeply. "Do you wanna move?"

"It was so cute," Kaden agreed wholeheartedly, an actual smile on her lips both from the memory itself and from the reaction the memory had drawn forth on his own lips. She'd been a goner. Despite how she'd tried to stay away from him, something as simple as a box of cereal had absolutely done her in. She hadn't been able to resist. "A sled's definitely more reasonable than a boat," she agreed, "Less expensive when it breaks too."

"Way less expensive. Plus, we can get those attachments that let us drag the kids around. Give 'em some whiplash." Of course, he was kidding. Claire surely wouldn't mind it. She was a silent menace before she was a girl. One of Kyle's more selfless moments came into play. "We could get my parents a place here in the city. Not to move, but a place with a yard for the dogs."

Eyes widened, not out of surprise, but of excitement at the thought. "Down." Hell, they could have two boats. Or one for each kid. Kyle was grateful for the stoplight they were at. He looked over at her, imagination running wild. "Or we can get that fucking three-hundred thousand dollar vintage Bronco we always fight over the colour about." The options were endless, because they'd actually have that money. Kyle's eyes widened even further. "And I can buy you a whole ass convenience store of cereal instead of just a fuckin' backpack."

Kaden's attention briefly pulled from the window to look at him instead, "But the backpack of cereal was so cute." It also felt like it'd been lifetimes ago at this point, but there'd been something so simple and innocent about their lives back then. Despite the positive things that'd happened since, sometimes she couldn't help but miss aspects of what had been left behind. "We wouldn't use a boat," she decided after an additional moment of thought, "You can't wakeboard. You don't fish. What would be the point?"

A bright smile lit up his features. "It was fuckin' cute, wasn't it," he gloated over his obsessive behaviour involving her. Not anyone just struggled through a blizzard. Maybe a snow-mobile would fair better for their family than a boat. "Or I can get into fishing..." He was reaching, and Kyle knew it. A boat made absolutely no sense. Another shrug before he sighed. "Or get a sled for the next time it blizzards? Or use 'em up north when we go?"

Kaden nodded, her hand mindlessly reaching in his direction to give some sort of proximity. The mere thought of trying to discuss finances made her stomach hurt and heightened her anxiety. Until the money was in their accounts, until the money was in their accounts and they'd been guaranteed there was no way it could be retracted, only then would she feel any sort of peace. "We could buy a boat." Of all things. She'd never had interest in owning a boat, she still didn't have interest in it now. Still, she couldn't help the way the thought of full financial independence pricked at her mind, "We're not going to," she clarified, "But we could."

Eyes widened, not out of surprise, but of excitement at the thought. "Down." Hell, they could have two boats. Or one for each kid. Kyle was grateful for the stoplight they were at. He looked over at her, imagination running wild. "Or we can get that fucking three-hundred thousand dollar vintage Bronco we always fight over the colour about." The options were endless, because they'd actually have that money. Kyle's eyes widened even further. "And I can buy you a whole ass convenience store of cereal instead of just a fuckin' backpack."

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