◤▐ ╳ DONT YOU BE SCARED

i am a sinner, who's probably gonna sin again. lord, forgive me. lord, forgive me. things i don't understand. sometimes i need to be alone.

[kngish-blog]

😒🔪💕

( someone my muse hates )

name: mariah patterson 

date of birth: april 2nd, 1995

gender: cis-gender female

faceclaim: kehlani

occupation: unemployed 

facts: was disappointed to find out the communion wine was just grape juice, loves reality tv, never enough glitter 

ishua’s father took a liking to mariah that made the older king brother extremely uncomfortable. the connection between the reverend and mariah never bordered inappropriate but ish could see that mariah was manipulating both his father’s generosity and the church for personal gain. for this, he hates her and hopes someone else will be on to her eventually. 

( someone my muse hurt in the past ) 

name: kevin bell 

date of birth: march 7th, 1983

gender: cis-gender male 

faceclaim: donald glover 

occupation: sales manager 

facts: wears non prescription glasses for fashion, really good dancer, fear of commitment 

they’ve known each other since high school and quickly became close friends. kevin was smart, kevin had the highest level of tolerance for ishua, the king family, and the christian faith. he admired their values. it was why he turned to ish when trying to overcome a drug and substance abuse problem. ish didn’t offer much more than prayer, which disappointed kev greatly. turning his back on his close friend caused a strain in their relationship, and though getting help from another source, kevin never really overcame his problem. it was a decision that ishua could never really live with himself for, and he prays for kevin daily.  

( someone my muse loves ) 

name: katrina sutton 

date of birth: march 9th, 1992.

gender: cis-gender female

faceclaim: jourdan dunn 

occupation: teacher 

facts: could be an angel, deserves a break, one milkshake with two straws kind of girl 

he doesn’t know it and he can’t admit it but he’s maddeningly in love with kartina sutton. ishua thinks he knows better for himself and what to do with his life, but truthfully it’s kat that keeps him in line and knows him better than he knows himself. they share a love that the bible praises. unfortunately, ishua wants things between himself and kat to reflect more of a romance novel. for whatever reason, that’s more realistic and ideal to him than god creating two people to spend life and eternity with. hopefully he’ll realize that the love he’s looking for and the love he has for kat are one and the same

[kngish-blog]

😒 / 👪 / 👫

( a muse my character hates ) 

name: jacob who cares

date of birth: who asked

gender: cis-gender

faceclaim: alfie enoch

occupation: don’t care

facts: drives a pick-up, hates tomatoes, flosses every other day

ish hates jacob. he never noticed the lingering figure in katrina’s life, watching her in service whenever she sat with ishua. and truthfully, he still doesn’t know who this guy is because he has no desire to know. he’s annoyed that kat would move on so quickly with someone she clearly doesn’t love, someone she couldn’t love as much as she loves ish. what makes him hate jacob, other than his existence and pure jealousy, is the fact that ish finds his dullness to be so overpowering, it dims kat’s light. 

( someone in my muses family ) 

name: gracious “grace” marchand 

date of birth: october 26th, 1998

gender: cis-gender female 

faceclaim: amandla stenberg

occupation: high school student

facts: candle lover, avid tea drinker, still thinks that stuffed animals move when she’s not looking 

grace was the last of four daughters to her parents. she is ishua’s cousin on his father’s side. born and raised in new orleans, louisiana with the same christian upbringing that ishua and lucas had. ish and grace don’t see each other much and though they don’t share the same interests, the fiery, secretive, dancing spirit of the seventeen year old relates to him closely. periodically, the reverend will share anecdotes about grace excelling in school but getting mixed up with boys and sh has to pretend he doesn’t know what’s going on with grace already. his fondest memory of grace was when she was only eight and cried to him after getting a beating from her mother. “she better not ever lay a hand on me like that again,” grace threatened through tears. twice he saw grace clutching a talisman of herbs in a bag. she told ish that she likes the feeling of hot wax on her fingers when he caught her swirling them in a lit candle. in another instance, she gifted him with a spray bottle filled with substances and herbs meant to soothe or refresh when needed before he returned home. ish wishes that grace could visit more often. when he thinks of her, she calls. 

( someone that has a crush on my muse ) 

name: angelina haywood 

date of birth: september 12th, 1996. 

gender: cis-gender female

faceclaim: chantel jeffries

occupation: student and childcare worker

facts: dresses as a bunny for halloween every single year, did equestrian for eight years, loves seafood

ishua heads the youth department and outreach program at church, but angelina is the mastermind behind it. even though she’s only 20, it was ish and the same youth and outreach program “saved her” so now she dedicates her life to making sure that adults over 20 but younger than 30 can fellowship on thursday and friday nights. she’s the one scheduling something for the teenagers to do on saturday, and helping the kids along in sunday school. she works closely with ish and it’s not uncommon for him to excuse himself from conversation to speak with her privately. angelina is a natural flirt, but hasn’t been coming on to ish strongly. jacob has already confirmed that ish and kat broke up but angelina doesn’t want to advance too quickly. she’s smart, charming, and comes from a nice home. in her light eyes she sees an ish that barely exists- family oriented, careful, charming, intelligent, talkative, attractive. things that kat sees but on a smaller scale. she’s smitten with the facade that ish has been parading to people his entire life. ish falling off is her chance to save him and she’s motivated to get his attention. his fondest memory of her is when someone caught ish snoring at an all-night prayer shut in but angelina covered for him and put the blame on someone else. 

[ofhotheads-blog]

Get to know the people in my muse’s life.

Send me a symbol and I’ll tell you about…

🌟 …someone my muse trusts. 💔 …someone who broke my muse’s heart. 💕 …someone my muse loves.  😒 …someone my muse hates. 🔥…someone my muse would die for. 💀 …someone my muse would kill for. 👻 …someone my muse considers a best friend. 💘 …someone my muse has a crush on. 🔪 …someone my muse hurt in the past. 👀 …someone my muse likes, but doesn’t trust. 💩 …someone my muse dislikes, but admires. 👿 …someone my muse used to like, but doesn’t anymore. 😉 …someone my muse has had sex with. 💋 …someone my muse used to date. 😜 …someone who makes my muse laugh. 👪 …someone in my muse’s family. 👑 …someone my muse is jealous of. 👊 …someone who hates my muse. 👫 …someone who has a crush on my muse. 👌 …someone my muse has only met once, but will never forget. 🍓…someone my muse has never met, but wants to meet. 👰 …someone my muse would consider marrying.

[kctrincs-blog-deactivated202203]

x | turning over a new peach

[lcskng-blog]

Not long after Lucas questioned his brother and Kat about their order status, Guin appeared. She was lead by a hostess, who informed the now complete group that a waiter would greet them soon. As always, Lucas rose to seat his girlfriend. Catching the swear under her breath took him aback. Lucas didn’t swear, and now that Guin had done so in front of him and his family, the man couldn’t recall if she was the swearing type either. His girlfriend corrected herself. When the awkward silence settled, Luke was allowed to introduce her. With a light exhale and a smile, he did so. “Guin, babe, this is my older brother Ishua. And this beautiful lady here is Kat, his girlfriend who deserves much better.” He teased the couple, unaware how true his words were. 

Luke seated Guin, then himself and waited for the interrogation to start. Kat and Ishua weren’t aggressive. They had no reason to be towards Guin, anyway. But the duo were known for teasing Luke at any given opportunity. A fact that he prepared his girlfriend for prior to the four of them meeting for brunch. In the passing silence before any real discuss began, Luke took the opportunity to compliment the girl. “You look really nice, today,” he smiled. The kind gesture was sure to relieve some of the pressure for all of them, especially his girlfriend. “How did that last exam go?” He questioned, figuring that a conversation about school was safe here. Besides, he was curious of her answer since they hadn’t talked much over the weekend. Guin’s weekends were always busy. 

[kngish-blog]

With a light smile on his expression, Ishua accepted the hug from his younger brother. Though he didn’t need it, it was the lighthearted attitude that the man welcomed with open arms. He hoped Lucas would bring that happy go lucky attitude with him today, that attitude made him such a desirable part of people’s lives— being around Luke was easy. Now, it was much easier to be around Kat. Despite his viscous bullying turned playful teasing, Ish was proud that his younger brother found someone to appreciate these qualities. He opened the menu, looking it over again. “No-,” he started to respond to his brother’s question before being interrupted by the final member of their party. Lucas stood and Ish stood with him. Their learned behaviors of gentlemen were always present. Though, the man thought he’d fall back into his chair at the sight of Rose in front of them. 

The twenty-eight year old looked over at his twenty-two year old brother, and then at Rose. To avoid suspicion from the two unknowing parties, Ishua behaved as expected of him. His hand extended as he smiled. When he last extended a hand to Rose, it was to hold her bare ass in his hands. “It’s nice to meet you,” Ish said when they were finally seated. The conversation between Luke and his girlfriend continued, to expel the awkward silence that followed the girlfriend’s introduction. Concealing his nervous laugh from the safe of his menu, Ish thought of this as a twisted cosmic, joke. When composed, he slid the menu to the edge of the table. His deep eyes met with Rose, or Guin, testing himself to see if he could make eye contact with her without envisioning her naked. He couldn’t. His eyes cut from her direction and he sighed. Maybe it was best to remind himself that she was not his job and she was not his. Looking at her again, it seemed to work, for now. 

[kctrincs-blog-deactivated202203]

x | turning over a new peach

She’d done this before, it wasn’t supposed to be this difficult considering Lucas was her friend and she wanted to support him introducing his girlfriend to family. But standing at the bar, ordering her third rose sangria, Katrina just wanted to go home. Naturally, she couldn’t. Girlfriend hadn’t attended services, she’d had to sit within a few feet of Ish, and then a brunch was proposed. It was a tradition of sorts, yet another one that put her in close proximity to…whatever Ish was at the moment. After dinner with his parents, she’d kissed him goodbye and hadn’t seen or spoken to him in over two weeks. After the brunch, Kat was determined to continue doing just that.

Finishing her last drink, the brunette sighed softly and seemed to mentally pull herself together before moving further into the restaurant towards the table that was meant for the party of four. She was determined not to make it seem as tenuous as it was actually was. Kat didn’t know what Lucas knew about her issues with Ish but she was certain that she didn’t want word getting back to Reverend and Mrs. King. That uncomfortable task she would leave to Ishua to handle. Being seated at the table, Katrina brushed her hair over her shoulder and sat quietly, her gaze seemingly enraptured by the menu at hand. 

[kngish-blog]

Two long weeks passed since the couple that everyone knew as sweethearts uttered even a word to one another. He hoped to hold some bitterness against Katrina over the fact, but communication was a two way street. Avoiding any kind of connection with her allowed him to avoid rejection from her too. Ish expected her contempt— he even felt deserving of it. There was no easy way to tell your first love that you didn’t love them, there was no easy way to accept that fact either. The man sat at the table alone, surveying the menu as Katrina ordered her third drink of the afternoon at the bar. Before her return, he motivated himself to say something to the brunette but froze in her icy airs. She seated herself, then studied the selections of the same menu. If looks could kill, Ishua was comatose in Katrina’s lack of eye contact—neither alive or dead. 

Ish waited impatiently for Lucas to arrive with his girlfriend. He wasn’t eager to meet the girl that his younger brother raved so much about, just eager to relieve some of the tension. He checked his watch, staring at the ticking hands to speed up time. The man relaxed into his seat, wondering what this girl was like if she was so important for them to meet. If today went well, Ish assumed his parents would be next to approve or disprove of Luke’s mystery girl. He tapped his hands against the menu twice, carefully peering around the restaurant for the sight of his brother. 

[drakesaywhat]

[kngish-blog]

🌺

ish likes guin’s natural sex appeal, since he’s not used to being around people that don’t repress themselves in his presence 

guin’s duality is appealing to ish. he struggles himself with who he wants to be and can sense that there’s some internal conflict between her too. what she is by day differs from what she is at night which is relatable 

he likes the way that her chin lifts when she’s smiles

Send 🌺  to hear what my muse likes about yours

[chickennugsismyfamily]

Visit Original Link

[stevenjackie]

[roleplayers-ink]

Send 🌺 to hear what my muse likes about yours

[sinfullvibes]

half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole

[xod]

[kushandwizdom]

[kngish-blog]

x GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS |

[kngish-blog]

bShe chocked it up to naive charm, but he hadn’t said no, allowing Guin to pull him along, her legs strutting confidently as she took him to the row of private spaces, closed off by opaque curtains, the music surrounding them much more intimate and sultry to assist the vibe of the room. She couldn’t recall anyone being this willing, not anyone such as himself. The man silently took to his seat, making himself comfortable has his eyes watched, waited for her to begin. “So I take it this isn’t your first time, right?” A soft chuckle fell from her lips as she stretched provocatively, beginning to sway her hips in front of him, making her way over in painfully slow movements.

“Promise you won’t ask for your money back if it’s not up to par with the caliber you’re used to.” Teasing was the only way she’d get through this without a hitch, the circumstances playing her weaknesses. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but there was something about him that made her curious, slightly timid. Still there was a job to do, and she vowed to make it at least memorable for him. Lowering herself into his lap, Guin intertwined her hands with his, moving his arms around her waist, helping him run her hands along her body while her hips continued to roll signally he was allowed to touch her as she ground her ass into his midsection. Putting self deprecation aside, she opted for light conversation. “So, just having a night out with the fellas?” Guin moved to untie the strings along her back, but didn’t take off her top just yet. “You didn’t seem like you were having enough fun.”

"I’ve done this before,” the man responded lowly. He watched Rose with eager eyes. The lustful pair ached for the dancer’s next movement after the one preceding it was carried out gracefully. She danced slowly, leading with her body and teasing him as she approached. Ishua advert his gaze to the left, his head turning away. She expected his perverse gaze but he didn’t wish to live up to such an expectation. A religious upbringing like his own encouraged him to handle this situation with some shame. That was an advantage now, even if the diversion of his attention lasted for just a moment. His head swiveled, eyes connecting with Rose’s once again. She was in front of him now, her seductive form swaying in front of him as she performed. He lowered his head, concealing the smile that spread across his lips at her words. “I can promise,” Ishua assured her, his hand carefully placed on the small of her back, guiding the dancer closer. 

The impersonal small talk was typical in most of these encounters. Ishua shrugged his response, forgetful that she wouldn’t see it in the dim lighting. With other dancers, the man didn’t care for talk. He knew from the second she invited him for a private dance, that this would be different. “I thought we were just going for drinks. But I’m not complaining about where I ended up.” Ish’s felt her hands in his, her hips rolling against body. Upon the invitation just moments later, he brought his large hands down to her ass. The physical connection between the two reminded Ish why gentleman’s clubs had such draw to them in the first place. He felt a boost in his confidence with a woman he didn’t know draped over his muscular body, her attention belonging to him only. With that confidence, he teased, “What? You didn’t see me poppin’ bottles?” His hands slid up to the small of Rose’s back and down again. “I wasn’t impressed until you showed up.” 

[kngish-blog]

x Lazy Sunday |

[kngish-blog]

Anyone else would have taken the plea for a display of romantic affection. Katrina took it as him not wanting to upset her. Obviously, she hadn’t hidden her feelings well enough. The hasty retreat towards the front door meant liberation and Kat desperately wanted to be alone to process her own feelings. It didn’t do to sit in front of him and pretend to be okay when she felt the specter of her own hopes and dreams lingering over them both. But he stopped her, drawing her back into his arms. Back into the warmth and the comfort that his words and true feelings couldn’t provide to her. She let him pull her close, let his plea be just that. There was nothing left for either of them to say but staying was exactly what she wanted to do. Kat wanted to be there with him forever, just pausing her life until he could tell her that he loved her. It was foolish and hopeless but she wished for one moment that it were entirely possible.

“I don’t want to leave you,” Kat whispered, her words carried into the air as they both ignored the movie droning on in the background. “I guess I don’t know either. I thought I did.” She thought their whole life was a guarantee, not yet confirmed by the mere technicality that Ish just didn’t know how to claim her. But it was a lie. A lie she’d told herself to get through the days of wondering, of the ‘You’re such a good match’ comments from her mother. She agreed, they were. Kat couldn’t imagine herself with anyone else but Ish. But here they were, twenty-eight and twenty-four. It felt as if the bonds of love and admiration tying them together began to loosen ever so slightly. There was no doubt that Ish loved her, that he respected her. But he wasn’t in love with her. He didn’t get the same heart-pounding happiness when he saw her. His entire day didn’t turn around with one phone call from her. He’d tell her if it had…wouldn’t he?

The truth was all she’d wanted, all she ended the cease fire for but the truth was tearing her apart. It was ripping into her brain, setting fire to those little fantasies in her head with every single moment of silent that passed between them. “Do you love me?,” Kat asked him directly, her hazel eyes peering up into his own, wanting to see something more than what she interpreted as pity there. “I mean, that real kind of love You know? Because I love you. I’ve only ever loved you. And I just don’t understand–” It was a useless argument. One that Kat wasn’t equipped to have right then. Her heart was still thudding so she knew she was alive but nothing else confirmed that notion to her. She felt as if she were one of the walking dead. She could feel her lips moving, hear words coming from her mouth, but the end product was…no feeling at all besides a numbing pain.

“Don’t answer that. Just don’t.,” she corrected herself sadly, shaking her head for a moment. Her eyes shut once more, shutting him out as well as the feelings and she tried to adapt to a better mood. One she doubted she’d have any success in faking but an attempt had to be made. “We can do what we’ve always done. Just ignore it, baby. Ignore everything.” Her tone spoke with a finality befoe she reached up to brush her thumb against Ish’s cheek, her eyes opening to register his face yet again. “I’ll never leave you, Ish. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.” With a small smile, she glanced towards the doorway before dropping her hand back onto her stomach. “Your parents would kill us if they saw us like this.”

They both knew it, Kat didn’t want to be held. Ish’s arms wrapped around her would frustrate and confuse her even further. But the best friends of more than twenty years had done this dance before. After some time passed, Kat would let her frustration pass and give into his affectionate touch, his closeness. It was the quickest and easiest way to settle her and he was going to take advantage of it before she walked away for good. 

The man exhaled heavily, now that she settled into his arms. His fingertips lightly stroked Katrina’s neck, teasing at the sensitive, exposed skin. She already felt betrayed. The hurt in her glossy eyes was obvious as she looked up at him. Ish studied the expression of his first love. She spoke to him in a barely audible whisper, but his eyes stared at her lips, picking up every syllable. He closely watched how she blinked away the emotion of the words she spoke with some struggle. He concluded from his study of her that it was a best friend’s responsibility to fix this. If he could stand to see her hurt, he would have let her leave earlier. It didn’t occur to him that asking her to stay might hurt just as much. Forcing himself to feel things he couldn’t, hoping that she wouldn’t notice, wasn’t an option anymore. He had to think of something though. The unrequited love between them wasn’t Kat’s fault. Though she lead him to the edge of the cliff, Ish pushed her into a free-fall, only to pull her up moments later—a lover’s torture conjured by the devil himself. 

For now, they decided to put all of it on hold. That gave Ishua some peace, and it seemed to work for Kat too. Admittedly, he felt some relief when she proclaimed that she didn’t know either. But the man knew he couldn’t put any faith in the truth of those words. They made him nervous. The more he thought about it, the more they felt like a lie he persuaded her to tell. After her reaction to what he told her earlier, it wasn’t realistic. At only twenty-four, not knowing what she wanted in her life was a rarity for Katrina. She just professed her heart’s desires to him, he couldn’t imagine that what she wanted or what she knew would change so quickly. Ish nearly had the nerve to encourage more honesty from the girl, but there had been enough of that for this casual Sunday. He decided to salvage it but watching the rest of the movie in front of them. 

Minutes passed and he knew it was an impossible task. Her soft voice repeated over and over, ‘Do you love me? I mean that real kind of love, you know?’ What would he reply if she hadn’t told him not to answer it? Kat needed the truth because ten years of following in Ish’s shadow as the girlfriend he never made a fiancé or wife was breaking her spirit, slowly. Even when he pressured himself to confront his feelings, Ish couldn’t do it. The portrait of his father in the wall, adjacent to the television, grimaced now. 

The thought of his parents brought them up in conversation. Welcoming the light-hearted topic, the man smiled. It didn’t matter how old they were, Ish and Kat would always fear getting caught by the reverend and his wife. His parents approved of their relationship but obviously, they were against the anything physical that occurred out of wedlock. “Try not to speak them up,” he said with a smile, glancing at the door. Any moment now, they’d be back from church. They’d be eager to send Kat home, and even more eager to lecture Ishua about respect, dignity, virtue. His hand moved from her neck, down to her hand at her stomach. Their fingers linked, and Ish brought their hands to his lips to peck them tenderly. “Maybe this one was one those times that we should have been smarter and gone to your place.” The man returned their hands to her stomach and shifted in his seat. Car doors closed in the distance, and Ish unwillingly encouraged his best friend to sit in a more favorable position as their footsteps approached the front door. “I told you not to speak them up,” he teased Kat. 

“Hey,” he greeted his parents with a smile. “Sunday dinner is gonna be late because of y’all.” 

[kngish-blog]

iMessage ( 1 ) — ishua x lucas

lucas: i want you to cover for me this upcoming bible study? :)

lucas: please..

ISHUA: the reverend made you the study group leader for a reason, you need to study the bible. i've already done that. the manners were nice but hard pass

[daehyxin]

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