Jacek-011

You hear nothing. You see nothing. You only serve.

[hugechadboss9000]

knockthrice​:

Jacek shrunk back slightly from Cam’s obvious excitement, eyes flicking back and forth like a cat exposed to a spray of water.

“Ah. No, it would not be a lie. I don’t suppose you know what sort of…experience he has with contract employment.” Jacek turned his focus back to Ruin, brow pinched as if he were trying to cast x-ray vision through him. “In any case. He may share my apartment for the time being, if it’s pressing that he find space outside….this place.”

“Actually, I do, and I’m gonna say it’s none,” Cam answered. “I also don’t think he’s ever been inside a house. We like it out here because there’s no one around. So don’t sweat it about keeping him as a roommate, yeah? Hold on, I’ll go get him.”

Cam hurried over to Ruin and spoke to him. The Idol flashed neon colors and teleported back in front of Jacek.

“SO YOU ARE WILLING TO SUBJUGATE YOURSELF,” they hissed. “But you desire more ‘talking’. What about? I will practice ‘PATIENCE’.”

[knockthrice]

Jacek did not flinch as Ruin appeared directly in front of him, in fact relieved to be speaking to them instead of Cam. Not that he necessarily disliked the younger man...but this was more familiar.

“Yes. I’ve come to understand that you would find it...useful...to learn more about social expectations, decorum, that sort of thing. In order to blend in more easily with Earth people.” He put a hand to his chest and bowed his head slightly. “I would be honored to assist you.”

[hugechadboss9000]

knockthrice​:

Jacek closed his eyes as if gathering himself at ‘be his friend’. With a cosmic effort he resisted commenting on it.

“…I see. Well. If there is to be an arrangement, I would need to confer primarily with him. As a recent transplant to Earth myself, I don’t know what utility I have at answering questions about living here. But…decorum, social mores, I am sure I can handle. And while I have no interest in…decorating a clearing…” He glanced around witheringly, “I could perhaps find some sort of accommodations more befitting someone of his stature.”

A boulder’s weight lifted off Cam’s shoulders. His expression opened, eyes no longer squinting in existential agony and he wrung his hands to stop from grabbing Jacek in excitement. “Really? You will? That would be so awesome, dude, we couldn’t thank you enough. You can talk to him again, just say you’ll do his bidding and he’ll be happy! That’s not even really a lie, right?”

[knockthrice]

Jacek shrunk back slightly from Cam’s obvious excitement, eyes flicking back and forth like a cat exposed to a spray of water.

“Ah. No, it would not be a lie. I don’t suppose you know what sort of...experience he has with contract employment.” Jacek turned his focus back to Ruin, brow pinched as if he were trying to cast x-ray vision through him. “In any case. He may share my apartment for the time being, if it’s pressing that he find space outside....this place.”

[hugechadboss9000]

knockthrice​:

“He does not seem stupid to me,” Jacek replied, his tone going almost icey. “The intricacies of an alien society like Earth’s inevitably seem trivial to a being like him. I am surprised that he’s taken up these…pasttimes…” he glanced over his shoulder as well, taking in the camp furniture and how Ruin seemed to be sulking. “…rather than. Whatever it is he’s suited for. Executioner? Maybe you’re lucky, then.”

He turned to pin Cam again with his stare, mouth pinched. “It seems to me that it’s less that he needs a chaperone, and more that you would feel safer if he had one. But that decision would be up to him. Unless you’re looking to have someone shadow him everywhere.” He sighed. That sounded dreadful.

“…What exactly are you looking for in a…chaperone.” He said finally.

Cam felt the blood drain from his face. Shame and a little bit of dread pooled in his stomach. “Y–yeah. Sorry. You’re right,” he said, licking his lips to bring the feeling back into them. “He’s not stupid. He’s just, kind of like a newborn, he doesn’t know what his options are. He talks a lot about freedom and free will. That just…” He inhaled, glancing at the pair at the creek. “For him, that usually means doing crimes. Things that are considered crimes on Earth.”

His hands found their way into his jacket pockets, a beacon of insecurity. He shrugged. “I dunno where that comes from. But we don’t want him hurting anyone. So if you were gonna be his chaperone, you’d just do what we do. We come here and check on him. Talk to him and answer his questions. You can decorate the place, I don’t care. Keep him hidden.” Cam’s eyes flicked down and back up, as he made a slight grimace. “I guess, kinda… be his friend?”

[knockthrice]

Jacek closed his eyes as if gathering himself at ‘be his friend’. With a cosmic effort he resisted commenting on it.

“...I see. Well. If there is to be an arrangement, I would need to confer primarily with him. As a recent transplant to Earth myself, I don’t know what utility I have at answering questions about living here. But...decorum, social mores, I am sure I can handle. And while I have no interest in...decorating a clearing...” He glanced around witheringly, “I could perhaps find some sort of accommodations more befitting someone of his stature.”

[hugechadboss9000]

knockthrice​:

Jacek, to his immense professional credit, did not flinch during this entire display. As Ruin raged and snapped his massive metal jaws Jacek’s only visible reaction was a slight curl to his fingers, the flick of an eyebrow downwards towards consternation.

He was not making a good impression. This boded… poorly.

He maintained his poise, only blinking instinctively at the massive CRACK that heralded Ruin’s teleportation. Ah. He was just sulking. It was better than striking him at least—the mental gymnastics required to navigate defending oneself from a prospective employer gave Jacek a headache just /considering/.

He blinked, coming back to himself as Cam crowded close to him. “I’m listening,” he said, his voice considerably colder than before. He kept his arms tucked close as if to avoid unintentional physical contact. “Though I’m truly perplexed what you could /possibly/ want from me at this point.”

“He…” Cam hesitated, looking over his shoulder at the Idol. He scooted further away, motioning for Jacek to follow. “Ruin is… I know he’s a lot. I know he seems like he’s, um… not reasonable. Like he’s…” His face pinched and he rubbed the sides of his head. “He’s stupid,” he came out with it, “but he’s not always. He’s just really new to Earth, he came from somewhere where he wasn’t even, like, a person. Apparently making decisions is brand new to him.”

Cam checked again that Ruin was still occupied with the river. Cerenia was telling him something, nervously gesturing. “So, look, when we found him out here we realized we can’t just let him go around in public and, y’know, fuck the Regulators so we’ve been taking care of him. Teaching him what we can. B-but we’re all getting busy and we have–lives! He used to be some sort of executioner for the gods? Can you freakin’ imagine what would happen if he didn’t have someone around? He summons swords! Dude loves violence!”

Camry wrung his hands together, staring at Jacek with desperation and regret for not paying attention in his college speech class. “That’s what we want. He needs a chaperone. Please?”

[knockthrice]

“He does not seem stupid to me,” Jacek replied, his tone going almost icey. “The intricacies of an alien society like Earth’s inevitably seem trivial to a being like him. I am surprised that he’s taken up these...pasttimes...” he glanced over his shoulder as well, taking in the camp furniture and how Ruin seemed to be sulking. “...rather than. Whatever it is he’s suited for. Executioner? Maybe you’re lucky, then.”

He turned to pin Cam again with his stare, mouth pinched. “It seems to me that it’s less that he needs a chaperone, and more that you would feel safer if he had one. But that decision would be up to him. Unless you’re looking to have someone shadow him everywhere.” He sighed. That sounded dreadful.

“...What exactly are you looking for in a...chaperone.” He said finally.

[hugechadboss9000]

knockthrice​:

Jacek’s perfect posture had visibly wilted by this point. He outright winced at BUTLERING being used as…well, being used at all.

“I’m not interested in the least in stopping you from doing anything,” he replied, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. “I’m sorry. I think I was led here under false pretenses.” The glances he shot at Cam were blatantly hostile at this point. “I was under the impression you needed an…assistant. Someone to tend to your needs and help you manage your…well. It doesn’t seem you have a house or staff.” Ruin’s motley crew hardly fell under that category. “I suspect you haven’t ever met a butler before in any case. I can understand our mutual confusion.”

“NO. I have NOT. And I can tell you now… I am not IMPRESSED!” Ruin’s helmet knocked back and the mouth opened, releasing a piercing scream. Cam flinched in a way that brought one of his shoulders up to his ear. “An offer of freedom and chaos is given to you and you are concerned with a HOUSE. I have been told about the housing market and daily chores. Truly disgusting you would align with them. If you change your mind, I shall be over THERE.”

Just as soon as it had started, a sharp crack and flash of blinding light ended the conversation. Ruin vanished and reappeared a mere twenty feet away, back to his spot at the creek. The girl with him was staring wide-eyed at Jacek, pulling on her long hair in an unconscious panic.

Cam’s mouth had dropped open. Palms sweaty, he quickly took to crowding Jacek and nearly grabbed the other man’s arms before thinking better of it. “Hold on. Please hear me out.”

[knockthrice]

Jacek, to his immense professional credit, did not flinch during this entire display. As Ruin raged and snapped his massive metal jaws Jacek’s only visible reaction was a slight curl to his fingers, the flick of an eyebrow downwards towards consternation.

He was not making a good impression. This boded… poorly.

He maintained his poise, only blinking instinctively at the massive CRACK that heralded Ruin’s teleportation. Ah. He was just sulking. It was better than striking him at least—the mental gymnastics required to navigate defending oneself from a prospective employer gave Jacek a headache just /considering/.

He blinked, coming back to himself as Cam crowded close to him. “I’m listening,” he said, his voice considerably colder than before. He kept his arms tucked close as if to avoid unintentional physical contact. “Though I’m truly perplexed what you could /possibly/ want from me at this point.”

[hugechadboss9000]

knockthrice​:

hugechadboss9000​:

Jacek sucked at the hollows of his cheeks, a deep breath rattling his chest. Graffiti. Disturbing the peace. Whatever this being was, it didn’t seem to be /at all/ what he’d hoped. Ah well.

“Very little. I was designed to be a…service asset. You desire freedom from human society? The moral regulations of Earth? Is that it?” His gaze slid to Cam, devoid of any real interest.

‘Moral regulations’; Cam’s eye twitched, but he took Jacek’s glance as a silent reassurance. He could confirm later.

“YES. For too long have I been bound to the chains of duty. I too was designed, and this design is limiting! I tasted freedom and saw its means. So I must ask… do you intend to use your BUTLERING to stop me?”

Ruin’s jaw clacked and his head jerked at an angle, blue-green circuitry flashing up the black metal like an aurora.

[knockthrice]

Jacek’s perfect posture had visibly wilted by this point. He outright winced at BUTLERING being used as…well, being used at all.

“I’m not interested in the least in stopping you from doing anything,” he replied, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. “I’m sorry. I think I was led here under false pretenses.” The glances he shot at Cam were blatantly hostile at this point. “I was under the impression you needed an…assistant. Someone to tend to your needs and help you manage your…well. It doesn’t seem you have a house or staff.” Ruin’s motley crew hardly fell under that category. “I suspect you haven’t ever met a butler before in any case. I can understand our mutual confusion.”

[hugechadboss9000]

knockthrice​:

“….Chaos.” The word came out more resigned than a question. Jacek did not seem intimidated by Ruin’s formidable jaws so close to his head. “I see. I….assumed by your associates’ ah. Advertisements.” A cold glance at poor Cam. “That you needed assistance in some way. Is this an insurgence cell?”

“A WHAT?!”

Ruin’s shrill cry chased off a dozen unseen birds in the distance. Cam’s eyes flew open in alarm and he waved his hands. “Oh, no no, nothin’ like–we’re not rebels.”

“REBELS? Yes, we intend to REBEL against every law and formality this land has to offer. Thus, we achieve FREEDOM. Do you know arson? Stealing? Graffiti? Disturbing the peace?”

They were on different pages. Cam was looking at Jacek with genuine worry, suddenly questioning where he stood with the Regulators.

[knockthrice]

Jacek sucked at the hollows of his cheeks, a deep breath rattling his chest. Graffiti. Disturbing the peace. Whatever this being was, it didn’t seem to be /at all/ what he’d hoped. Ah well.

“Very little. I was designed to be a…service asset. You desire freedom from human society? The moral regulations of Earth? Is that it?” His gaze slid to Cam, devoid of any real interest.

[bundleofenergy-blog2]

knockthrice​:

Jacek pulled a flat device out of his pocket. It was a little worse for wear, thin metal casing dinged and a cracked screen. But it came to life with a few flicks of his fingers. A bright blue glow filled the room as the device projected a large block of text into the air in front of them.

“When you have reviewed all terms, you may sign with your choice of blood sample, retinal scan, or…well. I don’t think you use technological brain enhancements.”

“Not particularly, no.” DC’s fingers trawled across lines in the air, looking more for juicy information than loopholes or gotchas. Her gaze occasionally strayed to the shabby projection device to take in its damage, but otherwise she went row by row until she reached the bottom.

“Looks good to me. I’ll still probably ask you loads of questions covered by it. The general I’m too important to remember these kinds of details inanity, I’m sure you’re used to it.” She straightened, grinning in a manner meant to be flirting with obnoxiousness. She tapped the option for the eye scan, announcing, “I don’t bleed for anyone,” as she did so.

When the scan completes, she would look at him expectantly.

[knockthrice]

The display blinked the Pincerna logo and then vanished. Jacek tucked the device away into his pocket, and his posture was already settling into something more…relaxed. Assured and relieved. Finally, proof that he was still a desirable asset.

“I am now at your command, madam. I can have my things moved into…whatever my living arrangements are to be. By the end of the day.” His eyes flickered into their natural cat-like shape as he dropped his glamour with relief.

[bundleofenergy-blog2]

knockthrice​:

“I would not expect you to trouble yourself with my dietary needs.” Jacek took the card and neatly slid it into his breast pocket. “I will keep meticulous financial records.”

After a moment he stood, posture as perfect as if he’d been carved into the room like a statue. “Does this mean you are ready to sign a contract?”

“I don’t see why not.” DC stood as well with a languid stretch, exhibiting a far different kind of poise than her soon-to-be Pincerna model. “This something you write out I can review? Some kind of oral contract?”

More questions occurred to her in the moment, albeit not exactly necessary for his employment. They were the more invasively curious sort, which, if not in the contract itself, she could bedevil him with when he was under her thumb.

[knockthrice]

Jacek pulled a flat device out of his pocket. It was a little worse for wear, thin metal casing dinged and a cracked screen. But it came to life with a few flicks of his fingers. A bright blue glow filled the room as the device projected a large block of text into the air in front of them.

“When you have reviewed all terms, you may sign with your choice of blood sample, retinal scan, or…well. I don’t think you use technological brain enhancements.”

[bundleofenergy-blog2]

knockthrice​:

“Oh, of course. With extreme discretion.” Whatever she wanted to get up to, regardless of its legal or moral implications—was none of his business. He’d certainly seen things that would permanently damage most humans.

“A standard human diet seems to be compatible with my needs. Though I seem to consume more meat.” The idea of dust bathing made him wither internally. “The dominant beings in…the empire…were largely carnivorous.”

“Okay, I don’t eat solid food too often, but I can get you hooked up with a meal service or something. Or you can do your own shopping.” Another vague hand wave, which culminated in DC grabbing a credit card that had been waiting on a side table. She held it out between two fingers almost carelessly. “This will be yours, if you’re going to work for me. To take care of expenses that crop up. Like I said: new wardrobe, food, training you’re missing on Earth things, etc.”

[knockthrice]

“I would not expect you to trouble yourself with my dietary needs.” Jacek took the card and neatly slid it into his breast pocket. “I will keep meticulous financial records.”

After a moment he stood, posture as perfect as if he’d been carved into the room like a statue. “Does this mean you are ready to sign a contract?”

[bundleofenergy-blog2]

knockthrice​:

“No,” he replied immediately, expression impassive. “That would be a breach of employer privacy. The only technological components I possess are a chip in my brain and various nano sensors that log biological data. In the case of…recall or repossession…the data can be used by Pincerna to improve on subsequent models. I cannot transmit this or any data myself.”

A smile—or maybe a smirk— tugged faintly at the corner of his mouth. “Pincerna models are too expensive to risk alienating contractees with confidentiality headaches.”

“Perfect.” DC had the feeling she’d be saying that about him a lot, and wasn’t upset about it. “Now, about the non-procurement of sentient peoples for reasons, that’s fine, but if I needed an accident cleaned up immaculately, that’s in your repertoire?”

Another thought occurred to her, and she immediately jumped into it. “And what do you eat? Those two questions aren’t related, unless they are for you. But more I’m thinking–do I need to make accommodations for your particular species that I do not have currently? Whatever you do, dust bathing or needing specific supplements or, I don’t know, a basking spot.”

[knockthrice]

“Oh, of course. With extreme discretion.” Whatever she wanted to get up to, regardless of its legal or moral implications—was none of his business. He’d certainly seen things that would permanently damage most humans.

“A standard human diet seems to be compatible with my needs. Though I seem to consume more meat.” The idea of dust bathing made him wither internally. “The dominant beings in…the empire…were largely carnivorous.”

[bundleofenergy-blog2]

knockthrice​:

“Yes, I have a license. After our conversations I acquired one.” It had gone surprisingly well—earth vehicles were dismally simply machines. Operating them took minimal effort. It was the waiting at their Department of Motor Vehicles that had been tiresome.

DC’s next question made him perk up visibly. Finally! Someone taking him seriously. “I was made with the expectation that I would need to manage staff, but it isn’t a requirement. I can keep a household clean and orderly. But service to you would be /improved/ with an organized staff.” It was still a little odd to need to explain such concepts, but he’d learned almost immediately that the wealthy on Earth had largely done away with the tradition of live-in servants, or even set teams of them. Everything piecemeal, transactional, none of the moving parts speaking to each other. Small wonder this backwater planet had yet to even form meaningful space travel.

DC filed that information away for later. It wasn’t something she could rectify in the moment, but it was important to know. She could have some fun with that in the future, for sure.

“I’ll keep that in mind! Now, here’s the fun bit–I’m aware the current, hmm…existence of the Pincerna, what is it, group? Company? Is a bit in limbo at the moment. You may not have anyone to report to. But here on Earth, almost every ‘smart’ device also gathers and disseminates information back to their parent company. You’ll notice my house is relatively free of them, with the exception of a phone and a computer.” DC waved a hand vaguely to indicate the room. “Do you perform the same function? Reporting back to your creators in some capacity?”

[knockthrice]

“No,” he replied immediately, expression impassive. “That would be a breach of employer privacy. The only technological components I possess are a chip in my brain and various nano sensors that log biological data. In the case of…recall or repossession…the data can be used by Pincerna to improve on subsequent models. I cannot transmit this or any data myself.”

A smile—or maybe a smirk— tugged faintly at the corner of his mouth. “Pincerna models are too expensive to risk alienating contractees with confidentiality headaches.”

[bundleofenergy-blog2]

knockthrice​:

“Anyone under your protection, responsibility, or authority, are considered equally protected assets by myself and Pincerna’s terms.”

Even if he could have guessed her private thoughts, Jacek did not care how his carriage or demeanor was seen. It was his /function/ to adhere to certain…standards. There was more than his own reputation at stake.

Or at least, there had been. It was easier to assume that there still was (somehow).

DC did not question his adherence to Pincerna’s terms. Whatever it meant to him, he could have it. Possibly he couldn’t even go against it. It would make sense enough for who he was and how he was created if his loyalty to his programming, literal or biological, extended past the life of the actual governing body.

“Perfect, so far. Have you learned to drive yet? We’ll have to fix that, if not. And…” DC considered him. “I’m thinking an update to your wardrobe. I seem to recall you normally manage staff? Are you entirely made for delegation or do you perform tasks outside of your general combative use? Is dusting demeaning?”

[knockthrice]

“Yes, I have a license. After our conversations I acquired one.” It had gone surprisingly well—earth vehicles were dismally simply machines. Operating them took minimal effort. It was the waiting at their Department of Motor Vehicles that had been tiresome.

DC’s next question made him perk up visibly. Finally! Someone taking him seriously. “I was made with the expectation that I would need to manage staff, but it isn’t a requirement. I can keep a household clean and orderly. But service to you would be /improved/ with an organized staff.” It was still a little odd to need to explain such concepts, but he’d learned almost immediately that the wealthy on Earth had largely done away with the tradition of live-in servants, or even set teams of them. Everything piecemeal, transactional, none of the moving parts speaking to each other. Small wonder this backwater planet had yet to even form meaningful space travel.

[bundleofenergy-blog2]

knockthrice​:

Jacek followed her, his footsteps falling even across the marble entryway in near silence. His eyes flicked between doorways, fixtures, passing hallways. No sign of other staff or their passing. Clean and nearly unlived in.

In the living room he paused next to the chair gestured to him, confusion flickering across his face. Being asked to sit was outside his expectations. But he complied, somewhat stiffly, resting his lightly curled hands on his knees.

“Indeed.” He replied simply, reaching up to delicately adjust his glasses. “We’ve spoken of my…well, I suppose I’ll have to call it a ‘resume’ now that I’m on earth. I have few limitations. I do not procure sentient food or entertainment for my employers, for liability reasons. It has been imprinted on me in similar areas of the brain to a non-engineered beings’ moral and social centers.” His voice seemed almost bored, as if he were reading an internal script. “In public I abide by local laws and regulations, unless given exemptions from sufficient authority. In the confines of your home, your word is law.”

He cleared his throat. “I can function as a bodyguard but not as an assassin, nor can my combat abilities be utilized for subterfuge or intimidation against others outside the purviews of my contracted employment, again due to liabilities on behalf of Pincerna.”

DC lounged as he spoke, far more comfortable in her own environment than he was. Always looking for what made someone tick, or worse, the simple act of asking him to sit had proven illuminating. Jacek was insufferably proper.

“Your combat abilities cannot be utilized for subterfuge or intimidation…” DC mused, mulling that particular clause over. “Functionally, as a bodyguard, can I request you to protect someone important to me? Or do your services, any or all of them, only extend to my person?”

Assassination being out wasn’t exactly fun, but this, so far, was workable.

[knockthrice]

“Anyone under your protection, responsibility, or authority, are considered equally protected assets by myself and Pincerna’s terms.”

Even if he could have guessed her private thoughts, Jacek did not care how his carriage or demeanor was seen. It was his /function/ to adhere to certain…standards. There was more than his own reputation at stake.

Or at least, there had been. It was easier to assume that there still was (somehow).

[bundleofenergy-blog2]

knockthrice​:

If Jacek had any thoughts at all about DC’s clothes, it was completely impossible to determine what they were or if they existed. He came to a stop a polite distance from her, freshly shined shoes crunching into the gravel, and inclined his head.

“Thank you for this opportunity.” His sharp blue eyes met hers, inscrutable and feline, before glancing away in a reflexive gesture. “I hope I can provide the service that you need.”

The words felt awkward and alien in his mouth. Since when did he have to explain the reason for his existence, or /interview/ for a position he was born to fill? Like a bird thanking the air for being suited to its wings. But he kept these thoughts to himself.

Desperation, after all, made one decidedly not picky. He was terribly lucky to have an opportunity so close to the contracts he was used to.

“Yes, I think that would be wise. It’s very bright out here after all.”

He’d done some of his own research, not that it was hard to find DC’s online discussions about being a vampire.

“You’re a sweetheart,” DC chirped, knowing he was no such thing, and led the way inside.

The mansion was clean and well-cared for, and not a bit of it by DC’s doing. Prior to hiring Jacek, a company came once a week to get everything in order, another to do her laundry, another to clean the pool, another to take care of the landscaping, and so on. It was easy enough because she had enough money not to care about the expense.

Jacek was about to upend that, but at least it would make things interesting. If only for a little while. She took him to a living room and settled on a couch, gesturing for him to take an armchair that had been scoot diagonally across from it. Comfy.

“Now, I’ve not dealt with your type before,” and ‘type’ was said in a way to indicate everything that the word Pincerna might communicate–his status as a tool in person form, “and you’ve not dealt with mine, so I’m thinking of this as a way to simply solidify the expectations of this working relationship. That way I’m not blindsided with any limitations and you get a chance to communicate your best use clearly. Peachy?”

[knockthrice]

Jacek followed her, his footsteps falling even across the marble entryway in near silence. His eyes flicked between doorways, fixtures, passing hallways. No sign of other staff or their passing. Clean and nearly unlived in.

In the living room he paused next to the chair gestured to him, confusion flickering across his face. Being asked to sit was outside his expectations. But he complied, somewhat stiffly, resting his lightly curled hands on his knees.

“Indeed.” He replied simply, reaching up to delicately adjust his glasses. “We’ve spoken of my…well, I suppose I’ll have to call it a ‘resume’ now that I’m on earth. I have few limitations. I do not procure sentient food or entertainment for my employers, for liability reasons. It has been imprinted on me in similar areas of the brain to a non-engineered beings’ moral and social centers.” His voice seemed almost bored, as if he were reading an internal script. “In public I abide by local laws and regulations, unless given exemptions from sufficient authority. In the confines of your home, your word is law.”

He cleared his throat. “I can function as a bodyguard but not as an assassin, nor can my combat abilities be utilized for subterfuge or intimidation against others outside the purviews of my contracted employment, again due to liabilities on behalf of Pincerna.”

[hugechadboss9000]

knockthrice​:

Jacek’s eyes wandered around the encampment, expression growing more dismal by degrees. The precarious floodlight situation seemed to pain him in particular. 

However, the sight of Ruin seemed to put such concerns out of his head. Jacek’s posture immediately straightened and settled, his chin lifting slightly, hands held gently at his sides. Attentive, poised. While he was unfamiliar with Idols, this being was more like the kinds of aliens Jacek was used to. 

He shot a single sharp glare at Camry before returning his focus to Ruin. “My previous employer designated me Jacek, I am the Pincerna-5 model 011. Your…employee….” his gaze slid across the assorted menagerie of aliens in the clearing, “…told me you were looking for a. Butler.” The English word was so inadequate it made him wilt.

“Hnnnmmmm.”

It seemed Ruin was considering Jacek deeply. The sound they made was between a low grumble and a computerized hum. They leaned forward, needing to nearly bend in half if they wanted to be eye-level with the newcomer, and clicked their jaw.

“…A butler. Yesss. But THEY say we should clean up the place. What I want is another mind seeking chaos!”

Cam opened his mouth but then decided against it. These two would probably work it out.

[knockthrice]

“….Chaos.” The word came out more resigned than a question. Jacek did not seem intimidated by Ruin’s formidable jaws so close to his head. “I see. I….assumed by your associates’ ah. Advertisements.” A cold glance at poor Cam. “That you needed assistance in some way. Is this an insurgence cell?”

[bundleofenergy-blog2]

For Hire

DC had considered taking this interview from the pool, because lounging in the water shaded from the murderous sun in an extravagant pool float was one of the few unexciting things that nevertheless soothed her bored brain. But this was a potentially valuable acquisition of a person, and she wanted some notes on hand. It had been a fun game, thinking up questions she might ask.

Now that Jacek was here, DC met him in the drive like she had others come to her party ages ago. She wondered who else he had worked for, and if her modest mansion compared at all. What judgments was he making as she judged him?

The curiosity was fleeting. She didn’t need him. There were plenty of for-hire services that could handle the minutiae of grounds keeping and house cleaning. No, she just wanted something new and fun.

“Hello, welcome.” DC said brightly. She hadn’t dressed up for this, technically; her clothes were comfortable streetwear that cost far more than they reasonably deserved. But they had been limited sale, and she thought that added a certain something to the feel of it. If Jacek turned his nose up at it, well, he had a little bit more to learn about Earthly wealth. She’d forgive his ignorance.

“Want to come inside, and get these discussions started?”

[knockthrice]

If Jacek had any thoughts at all about DC’s clothes, it was completely impossible to determine what they were or if they existed. He came to a stop a polite distance from her, freshly shined shoes crunching into the gravel, and inclined his head.

“Thank you for this opportunity.” His sharp blue eyes met hers, inscrutable and feline, before glancing away in a reflexive gesture. “I hope I can provide the service that you need.”

The words felt awkward and alien in his mouth. Since when did he have to explain the reason for his existence, or /interview/ for a position he was born to fill? Like a bird thanking the air for being suited to its wings. But he kept these thoughts to himself.

Desperation, after all, made one decidedly not picky. He was terribly lucky to have an opportunity so close to the contracts he was used to.

“Yes, I think that would be wise. It’s very bright out here after all.”

He’d done some of his own research, not that it was hard to find DC’s online discussions about being a vampire.