who needs the young?

❝ if you don't go over the top how ar you going to see what's on the other side? ❞ independent, private, selective Sloane of Bat out of Hell: the Musical, est. 10/11/2017. mobile links: credit, disclaimer & rules • about • verses • world building • full navigation

[knowrightnow]

{ And we're (almost) back • Okay so. I've not posted for a while. I've had to prioritize my job search & own well-being for a few months, and though I'm still not done prioritizing either, I'm hoping things start becoming more manageable (to the point where I can actually sit down and rp) in like? Mid-July? I intend to pick back up every thread I owe, but if you'd rather we drop ours (or want to make sure I didn't miss your reply), feel free to shoot me an IM?

As a bit of housekeeping before my attempt at a Proper Comeback, I've updated Sloane's theme a while ago, and I'll slowly go through and update any of her pages in need of updating.

In the meantime, please all of you take care 💜 }

[knowrightnow]

❝ … Is that really a DIY situation? ❞

babies are so stupid • ( selectively accepting )

         ❝ I SWEAR IT IS. ❞ She’s laughing then, shoulders going up in a shrug accentuated by her own laughter. In truth, Sloane really has no idea HOW they’d even go about managing that, let along if it would work. But she had a lot of free time ( not really, but she was bored enough in class to research something else entirely ) and was fairly sure if this worked, she could get Riccardo to convince their science teacher this counted as an extra-curricular chemistry project ( again, not really, but Sloane had never had any extracurriculars in her life so. This might just be her entrance ticket to Harvard. Let her be amused. ) ❝ But, you know what — FINE. Once I figure out how to get soap nuts that foam all by myself, you’ll never doubt me again. ❞

[knowrightnow]

❝ What’s wrong with me that I can’t appreciate what I have? That I can’t feel it? ❞ (^;

babies are so stupid • ( selectively accepting ) 

          This is it. The most devastating realisation one can have as a parent, the overwhelming and unavoidable feeling that you failed your children like you knew somehow, someway that you would. She opens her mouth, words forming and ‘Nothing is wrong with you, sweetheart’ and ‘whatever are you talking about?’ and more of the same lies. In the past years ( decades, really ), Sloane had broken far too many promises and turned a blind eye to even more — But she wouldn’t lie to Raven. Not anymore. ❝ I DON’T KNOW. ❞ She knows these aren’t the words of comfort her only child is looking for, knows that for all intent and purposes she is failing miserably at her job as a mother ( again ). But there’s an honesty in there she thinks Raven and her both desperately need. ❝ I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s any of your fault. You deserve to be happy —— Happier than you’ve been so far. ❞ Sloane had always known fuck all, but she knows this much still. Her daughter did not deserve the grief that had been put on her shoulder.

[knowrightnow]

❝ Oh man. I think you might actually be my best friend. ❞ @ brewalone ty

babies are so stupid • ( selectively accepting ) • @brewalone

          ❝ YOU THINK ? ❞ Brows arches, eyes focused on whatever it is was at hand as if this could hide the mocking bemused laughter this big DECLARATION had gotten out of the teenager. Any other situation ( scratch that. Any other person ) and the fake brunette might have been offended by the implications of it all. But this was HOME ( Imani’s living room, the couch’s cushions pressing firmly against Sloane’s upper-back as she carelessly sat at the left end of it ) and this was ZEPH. They’d known each other long enough by now ( a lifetime, really ) for the whole thing to sound comical. ❝ Gee, thanks. Only took you more than a decade to notice. It’d have been a bit awkward otherwise. ❞ 

[knowrightnow]

FAIRY TALE AESTHETICS: BROTHERS GRIMM VERSION

Rules: Bold what applies to your muse and repost

SNOW WHITE.

jade trinket boxes. taste of iron. fingertips on a mirror.  yellow and green with envy.  long handled hunting knives.  sewing by the window. combs laced with pearls and poison.  an apple white one side and red the other. white doves. frosted glass.

THE MAIDEN WITHOUT HANDS.

a blunt axe. a ring of chalk.  tear-stained cheeks.  sweet pears.  hands tied behind back. shallow rivers. aching feet, walking for days. flowing gowns. liquid silver.  wax seals. blinding lights.

THE THREE LITTLE GNOMES IN THE FOREST.

lukewarm bath water.  sapphire butterflies.   tiny milk snakes.  baskets of strawberries.  fat toads.  sparkling snow.  fur cloaks.  raw gemstones.  kettles made of copper. red wine. a tiny cottage in the middle of nowhere.

BLUE BEARD.

a tiny key made of gold.  pools of blood.  stains that won’t rub away. galloping hooves. treasures from far away lands. dragged by the hair.  dark and damp cellars. marble walls. shivering with fear.  screaming at the top of your lungs.

THE SIX SWANS.

sitting side-saddle.  daughter of a witch.  nettles. white feathers. refusing to smile.  needles and threads. a castle in the forest. sound of beating wings.  birthmarks.  climbing trees. balls of yarn. silver crowns.

LITTLE RED CAP.

wildflowers. rich-tasting cake. wicker baskets. the path rarely trod.  sharp teeth.  curtains drawn.  a dying fireplace.  grey pelts.  red velvet. handmade quilts.  sunlight peeking through branches. opening corks with a satisfying pop.  looking someone directly in the eye.

TAGGED BY: @altarshine <3 TAGGING: @ritahanson ; @heartreveals ; @notusedtohappy ; @jollyteatime ; @dencuement ( for Tahani & anyone else you’d like? ) ; @dustmaide ( if you feel like doing it w another muse? ) & anyone else who might want to do this !

[spencexhastings]

S: It’s just a house. V: No, it’s not. It’s our home. It’s your home. It’s the only home you’ve ever known. S: Well, it feels different now. V: Not to me.

[therpmemes]

               one day at a time (season 2) → starters

slightly edited in some cases to work for rp purposes. feel free to change phrasing or pronouns to fit your muse(s)!

❝ Oh my god, am I passing? ❞

❝ You’re a disaster! I can fix yu. ❞

❝ You don’t have to be a superwoman. There can only be one such woman in a family/squad/group and that is me. ❞

❝ Hi, I’m [name] and my pronouns are _____ and _____.❞

❝ When I came out of my mother’s womb I winked at the doctor. ❞

❝ Sounds like you always had a thing for doctors, eh? ❞

❝ I don’t have a crush on her! I don’t even know her! You have a crush on her! ❞

❝ How’d all that butt stuff go? ❞

❝ I have a strict 7 date policy. ❞

❝ Guilt, shame and regret are things of the past. Be sex positive! ❞

❝ I’m a mother. I’m sex negative. ❞

❝ I can’t have sex without love. ❞

❝ I don’t even know if she’s gay! ❞

❝ In love, you have to make yourself vulnerable. ❞

❝ I don’t vote. ❞

❝ I like to be in America. ❞

❝ I don’t want to stalk him. I just want to know exactly where he is and follow him there. ❞

❝ How dare he have other friends! ❞

❝ You’re the wallpaper on his phone. I tried to make him delete it but neither of us knows how. ❞

❝ I want so badly for them to grow up and live full, happy lives. But I can’t teach them how to do that because I don’t know how to do that myself. ❞

❝ I’m failing them/her/him/you. They/He/She/You deserve so much better than me. ❞

❝ When people tell me ‘Be happy! You have a great life!’ that makes me feel like garbage, because I know! ❞

❝ What’s wrong with me that I can’t appreciate what I have? That I can’t feel it? ❞

❝ What’s the point of living if you can’t feel anything? ❞

❝ I know what that sounds like but I would never do anything like that. ❞

❝ I think you know healthy brains don’t go to that place. ❞

❝ Oh man. I think you might actually be my best friend. ❞

❝ You do what you need to do to fix yourself. And I will be here for you.❞

❝ I have depression and anxiety. And I take medication for it. ❞

❝ The meds help me stay in control of my life. ❞

❝ You can’t have a stroke to win an argument! It’s not fair! ❞

❝ I know you like to have the last word but this is dramatic, even for you. ❞

❝ Check it out! I’m butch! ❞

❝ I don’t want to be on a drug for the rest of my life! I shouldn’t have to need it! ❞

❝ I take a lot of online quizzes. Turns out I’m a Hufflepuff! ❞ 

❝ You know, everything is a big deal to you. ❞ 

❝ You eat this, you get some sleep and tomorrow, you try again. ❞ 

❝ Forehead kisses are wildly underrated. ❞ 

❝ There’s something really comforting about this. But then again, it might just be you. ❞ 

❝ Babies are so stupid. ❞ 

❝ I knew he was too pretty to be straight. ❞ 

❝ No! Gay! Me. Gay! ❞         

❝ Are you gay? ‘Cause you haven’t mentioned it in the past five minutes.❞           

❝ I know you’re not crazy about me dating but I was wondering whether I could get ice-cream with them?❞          

❝ Even though you’re the embodiment of the alpha male, which normally I find…. bleargh… looking at you up close with your chiseled features and blue-green eyes with specks of gold – I get it. ❞          

❝ You know, I did like the Women’s March. I looked very nice in that pink pussycat hat. ❞ 

❝ It literally feels like the weight of the world is sitting on my chest. ❞          

❝ I can’t wait until I turn 18 so I can vote. ❞          

❝ I will rip your beard off and feed it to you. ❞ 

❝ HEY PLANET KILLER, RECYCLE THAT! ❞ 

❝ I have a lot to be angry about. Climate change. Racism. Sexism. There’s a lot of bad things happening. ❞ 

❝ It’s not my fault people hate powerful women. ❞ 

❝ School dances are barbaric events designed to make less popular kids feel bad. They’re for total narcissists. ❞ 

❝ Did I ever tell you why I stopped speaking Spanish? ❞ 

❝ I was so worried. And you surprised me with your acceptance and your love and your support. ❞ 

❝ You’re my hero. ❞ 

❝ My time with you is the only thing that makes me happy. ❞ 

❝ I know that _____ is the love of your life. I get that. But I think you might be the love of mine. ❞ 

❝ Yes? But I have seven more reasons why you should let me do it. ❞ 

❝ You’re saying I’m going to go through my whole life without being oppressed at all? ❞ 

❝ I’m just super hungry…. for food! ❞ 

❝ I don’t have very many friends. Like, if I were to count them, I wouldn’t say any numbers. ❞ 

❝ I’ve been told by more than a few people that I’m “a lot”. ❞ 

❝ How about we protect each other? ❞ 

❝ I’m very chill! ❞ 

❝ I wish i could take away her/his/their/your pain and feel it for myself. ❞ 

❝ You’re off your meds? ❞ 

❝ … Is that really a DIY situation? ❞ 

❝ That’s it! Tomorrow, I’m going on Twitter and putting a stop to all this. ❞ 

❝ I’ve thought a lot about what happened and I’ll spare you the details about the anger, and the crying, and the weight loss, and the empty space on my wall where you picture used to be. ❞ 

❝ I decided that there’s no point in focusing on the negatives. I’d rather think about the good things that came from this. ‘Cause I’m pretty great. ❞ 

❝ Just because I’m gay, people will hate me without knowing anything about me. ❞ 

❝ Now I know not to expect the best from anyone. So, thanks, I guess.  ❞ 

❝ I learned some really cool stuff about myself. Like I’m tough. I’m really tough. ❞ 

❝ So whatever, I’m moving on with my life. I’m going to be fine. I’m just really bummed out for you. You’re gonna miss a lot of stuff and that sucks.❞ 

❝ I am seeing someone but she’s really hard to read. I don’t know if she’s that serious about me. She says she just wants to climb me like a beanstalk. ❞ 

❝ You don’t sound like yourself. I’m gonna go.❞ 

❝ I can’t wait for my first time. And I hope I do it right. ❞    

❝ I think it’s time to admit that I tried and I failed. And now I think it’s time to quit.❞ 

❝ More bad things happen because you have a gun, not because you don’t.❞ 

❝ This is the last house that should have a gun! ❞ 

❝ I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you, but… I’m straight.❞ 

❝ It’s stupid…. stupid how much I love it!❞ 

❝ Everything can be cured with Vics VapoRub!❞ 

❝ You got this. And we got you.❞ 

❝ You know, I think being a lesbian has made you very angry. ❞         

❝ I forgive you. ❞

❝ You realize you’re the top half of the screen? ❞

❝ I like you so much. Like, so so much. ❞ 

❝ I needed you and you weren’t there for me. ❞ 

[knowrightnow]

{ so as per, it's been a hot minute. I'm nowhere near done with drafts because job searching has been getting the best of me, but I miss Sloane & I really want to get back to writing. As a bit of housekeeping, I've decided to change my alias in my rules to be just my initial just out of personal comfort? (I'd rather keep my nickname to the people who talk to me ooc?) But if you've known me before that change, obviously feel free to still call me by my nickname, especially in ooc conversations. That's just something I'd like to try. Sloane's modern (and non-obsidian) verses now have an about page too, for clarity's sake. I'm going to give myself a few days to try and write or maybe reblog memes/character-related things so activity will still be a bit slow for a while, but I'll have a starter call ready when I'm more into the rythm of things. In the meantime, come plot with me if you'd wish to! (or even just chat with me ooc?) Take care of yourselves, lovelies! }

[knowrightnow]

@truebeats replied to your post “{ hey friends. things have been rough recently ( are still rough ), so...”

i love u so much please b safe !!! <3 <3

@ritahanson replied to your post “{ hey friends. things have been rough recently ( are still rough ), so...”

I love you so much, Matty. Please be safe, and take all the time you need

@mortalspark replied to your post “{ hey friends. things have been rough recently ( are still rough ), so...”

take care of yourself, dear heart, and do what is right to make you feel better! no pressure, we'll all still be here next week!

{ so it’s been more than a week, but thank you all so much for this. 💜 i'm so grateful for you all! }

[knowrightnow]

{ hey friends. things have been rough recently ( are still rough ), so don't expect any activity from me ( except maybe hiding out on the sideblogs I'm trying to prepare ) until at the very least the middle of next week? please be safe & take care of yourselves in the meantime }

[altarshine]

!!

   HOW RAVEN SEES YOUR MUSE.  /  SELECTIVELY  ACCEPTING.  /  @knowrightnow

    YOUR  MOTHER  IS  BASICALLY    your  entire  beginning.  she  is  a  reason  why  you   exist,   and  why  you  are  the  way  that  you  ARE.   she  is  the  first  face  you   ever   saw,  even  if  you  don’t  remember  it.   she  is  the  first  to  see  you  cry,  and  the  first  to  calm  you  down  when  the  nighttime  begins  to   TERRORIZE   you.    you  run  to  her  first  with  nearly   EVERY   issue,  especially  the  ones  you  would  rather  your   father   not  know,  and  you  learn  that  she  knows  things  about   you   first.    sometimes  even  before  you  do.    your  mother  is  the   START.

    PEOPLE  ALWAYS  TELL  YOU   that  you  have  your  father’s  looks.   you  can’t  dispute  this,  as  it’s  entirely  true.   you  know  that  your  mother  wants  to  be   YOUNG   again.   you  study  her  when  she’s  with  you,   and  you  know  that  she  was  not   BORN   with  downcast  eyes  and  worry  lines.   when  you  were  young,  you   didn’t  see   these  things.   at  the  age  of   seven,   your  mother  was  the  most   BEAUTIFUL   woman  in  the  world.    now,  she  simply  looks  bored.   

   YOU  ALWAYS  TELL  PEOPLE    that  you  are  nothing  like  your  parents.   (  you  don’t  necessarily  want  to  be.  )   still,  anyone  who  knows   YOU   knows  that  you  have  your  mother’s  snark.   you  have  her  thrill  for  adventure,   and  the  adrenaline  that   once   flew  through  her  veins  now  throws  through   yours.    yes,  she  may  irritate  you  when  she  copies  your   DRAMATICS,   but  the  truth  is,   that  is  a  flare  that  both  mother  and  daughter  possess.    these  are  the  things  that  keep  you  close.    

    SHE  IS  KNOWN  TO     others  as  many  different  things.   many  call  her  their   FIRST  LADY,    the  woman  who  is  somewhat  of  an   enigma,   and  someone  who  they  don’t  know  beyond  her  charity  work  in  obsidian.   others,  those  who  are  on  a  first  name  basis,  call  her   SLOANE  FALCO.    there  are  nights  when  you  see  yourself  as  nothing  special,  but  there  is  at  least  one   unique   thing  about  you.   out  of  everyone  in  the  world,   you  are  the   only  one   who  gets  to  call  such  a  woman   MOM.    

[knowrightnow]

five times smiled: zahara edition (^:

five times smiled • ( not accepting ) • @brewalone

          TOAD • You’re ten,sat sideways on the sofa in your upstairs neighbors’ living room, with yourback pressed firmly against the arm rest and your bare feet casually poking atthe friend sat next to you, fully focused on the television screen ( not focusedon you ). Annoyed hand, words muttered under her breath that you can’t quiteget ( don’t care to get ). You poke her some more, cool foot gettingDANGEROUSLY close to her cheek in order to break whatever trance the game ( no.the prospect of WINNING ) had put her on. Before your toes can poke the plumpflesh of her left cheek, however, you can’t control your own fits of laughterand it bursts out of you. A mess of red hair hides your face ( but not theraucous cackle in your voice, giddy and amused and PROUD OF YOURSELF ) as feet isbrought back down against the sofa. Your friend just finished the race insecond place. This is what she gets for not letting you be Player 2 when hermom had told her to share because apparently planting yourself right in frontof her to block her view of the screen was CHEATING ( and you’d NEVER cheatever, ever. Zeph was lying because she was jealous. And didn’t think of movingyou out of the way ). ❝ COME ON. My turn now ! ❞ Youstart trying to chant between fits of laughter, your voice getting hitched inyour throat and words coming up weirdly due to your own amusement. You try togo grab the controller. ❝ I’ll be PEACH, you can be Daisy. ❞ Honestly,Peach is a crap character. Everybody knows that TOAD wins races and is the farsuperior choice of character, the one you always argued in favor of when Zephtried to go all dictatorial on you and insist on who you should be playing (her game, her RULES, apparently ). You haven’t played this game much, butalways vehemently tried to stick to your guns, Zeph be DAMNED. Not today,though. Today, you’ve been ANNOYING, the type of friend you’re not sure you’dwant for yourself — A BRAT, your mother would call you if she knew ( Imaniwould, too ). Truth is this is Thanksgiving, and your mother is working all day without you being able to see her, andyou’re left alone in front of a television screen, playing games with Zeph asthe grown-ups of her household still sat by the dinner table. And you’rethankful for Zeph. You’re thankful for Imani. You’re thankful for Mario Kart,and Thanksgiving dinners and knowing that in a while you’ll probably fallasleep on this very sofa safe in the warmth of the Akenzua household. And you’re not sureyou’ve really shown that. You’re not sure Zeph KNOWS. So this is your thinlyveiled message to her; a cheeky, smug ( SOFT ) smile on your lips as you take theremote and choose the princess as your character. Peach and Daisy were BESTFRIENDS after all.  

          BLUE FALCON • You’remeant to be doing your homework, sat carefully at the Akenzua’s dinner tablewith your U.S. history book and laptop open to write about the technologicalrevolution — But truly, nobody gives a crap about U.S. history, about how Fordbecame Hermes Hovercars, and how the technological improvements of the pastyear meant the country you reside in is striving. ( That’s not true. Clearly MrWomack cares, otherwise he wouldn’t be torturing you with this homework. ) Soyou’re sat there, doodling in the corner of your notebook, trying to pretendthat really, SCHOOL’S GREAT and you don’t miss being with your friends at all (only pretentious kids go to your new high school. It goes pretentious kids,Riccardo Falco and you, ranked in increasing order of coolness ). It’s a LOSTCAUSE of course. Your best friend knows you too well by now to know that you’reLYING, that you miss getting to go to a crappy public school and listen to apre-recorded hologram drone on about maths while sat next to Joanie, that youmiss walking back from school with Zeph ( and stopping to get slushies orwhatever the dollar store had to offer on the way ). You’d found Riccardo Falcoin the most unlikely of places ( something you’ll be forever grateful for ),both of you birds of a feather — Quickly close friends, the support you’dsorely needed when thrown completely out of your element and a fellow StarSwine enthusiast. But befriending him didn’t mean you forgot about your otherfriends, and you’d tried to include them in your new life as best as you could( and stick around in theirs, because their lifestyle were way closer to youthan any pancakes at Falco Tower ). You’re doodling BIRDS, blue ink coveringthe page of your notebook as Zeph looks over from her biology homework and towhatever it is you are doing ( certainly not a U.S. history essay ). You can seethe mockery in her face, features lighting up at her own amusement, ready totease you. So you yell — ❝ IMANI ! ❞ You get no answerand call for her again before your friend can react. A shit-eating smile (grin, really ) spreads on your lips, the kind only shared by SISTERS. Because thisis what you and Zeph are. Sisters, with silly childhood nicknames from backwhen you were learning to talk and couldn’t pronounce Zeph’s full name andhabits of sitting around the dinner table doing homework. And sisters don’tstop being sisters, even if one of them changes school or blue birds comealong. Sisters have each other’s back. Well. MOST OF THE TIME. ❝ Imani ! You’ll never guess why Jarrod offered to come over ! ❞

          RED SHELLS • The walkto the tattoo parlor is fairly short. You’ve let Zeph pick it, mostly becauseyou don’t really care about the wheres or hows of it all. You want to get a tattoo, sure,but it has to be WITH HER. You don’t think you’d even be capable of walkingthrough that door if your friend wasn’t with you during the whole process — Notbecause you’re not sure of yourself, but because. Well. Because tattoos were a ZEPHthing, with her having the idea for one way before you came up with yours. Itwouldn’t have felt right to do this without her support. You could have gonewith Falco, but you don’t want him to get any ideas as to the significance ofyour tattoo, so he’ll just get a surprise picture of your foot sent to him onceit’s done, no comment necessary. And of course, you’re up first, because Zeph’stattoo idea is far more intricate than your own, and that you’ll be done in notime. You still feel like suggesting MATCHING TATTOOS, but your Mario Kart RedShells idea hadn’t been too well received and you’re in need of more time todecide on a good design. Next time, then, because there’s no way you wouldn’timmortalize your friendship ( sisterhood ) with Zeph in that way if she is willing to do the same — written inink forever. So you get one word ( FREEDOM ), written in an intricate calligraphy. You’venever exactly been subtle, and this is perhaps the purest definition of youressence you could think of. Freedom, love, a youth WORTH LIVING — It seems likeyou have it all, then. A phone ( yours ) is thrown in Zeph’s direction as you lookover at her with a BRIGHT SMILE. ❝ Here. If you mock me while filming,I swear I’m so not getting a matching tattoo with you next time. ❞ It’s a blatant lie.You wouldn’t pass out on this for the world. Soon enough ( in a year ), you and Zeph would take different paths and go on to study different things incollege ( or perhaps even not study at all ) and you’re scared of where thesenew lives will take you. So you soak in every new experience and SMILE, makingsure August 2075 is a month to remember.

          DRY DRY RUINS • Yourlegs have given up on you and left you sat against the cold, dirty tiled floorof the bathroom in one of the few dive bars ( the ONLY dive bar ) you can stillgo to inconspicuously. People don’t care enough about you here to make a fuss,and you like it this way — Music blasting hits of a long forgotten past thatmust have been so much better than today ( the voices of your childhood ),sticky bar and stickier floor, faded posters on the walls which representedidols all dead and buried, all unaware of the great, impossible disaster thatwas the Obsidian Experiment ( SORRY. Obsidian State, although as days pass itfeels more like a joke than anything else, a fault which you recognize ispartly your own ). You’ve taken off your heels then, holding them carefully inone hand so as to not let the floor ruin them ( as if it isn’t already ruiningyour dress, since you’re sat on there. The world doesn’t make much sense toyou, currently ), the other hand holding an almost empty drink. Bathroom dooropens to let in a tall ( far taller than you ) figure with red hair and eyesthat knew TOO MUCH. By now, Zeph is just another name to add to the long listof GHOSTS in your life ( Alessia, Emilio, Silvio, Zeph, Joanie, Jarrod, Theo,Blake. The list goes on ) and, you would wager, a name also on the list of ghosts ofthe woman who’d just entered, crouching down next to you and careful to nottouch the floor. She’s smarter than you. She’s always been smarter than you.And she has this look — Not quite disappointment. Bitter habit ? Annoyance ?You’ve seen that look before, countless of times, but it’s not Zeph’s anymore.It’s Zahara’s — and you didn’t grow up with a woman lost to everyone includingherself. Your best friend had a life and endless possibilities. Still, headturns to look at her — The STRANGER you know so well. Hand tries tomove some of your bangs out of the way, but you remember midway that you areholding your drink and take the second-to-last sip instead. You laugh, thesound feels stodgy against your furred mouth. ❝ Some thingsnever fucking change. ❞ You comment, still trying to laugh. Thisisn’t an unusual scene for Zahara and Sloane Falco, but it is even morefamiliar to Zeph and Sloane Byrne, after all the parties they’d been totogether. The comment is sadder than you intended, and you frown at that realization.❝ That was. Deep. ❞ ‘Deep’ doesn’t even begin to cover it,but it is the only word you can muster. So you force a smile — loop-sided,alcohol-induced, tired, sad, foreign smile to the woman next to you. You wantto tell her you need to head home but wouldn’t know how. You want to tell herthat whatever happens, you need her to promise she’ll look out for Raven. Youwant to tell her that you hope there’s still a little bit of ZEPH under all theZahara bravado. But she’s a ghost, a ruin, a STRANGER. So you smile. That’salright, you suppose. Your life is filled with ghosts, ruins and strangers ( sowhat’s another one ? ). The only exception to that is perhaps RAVEN, and you’renot even sure of that.    

          PEACH • Your faceLIGHTS UP when Zahara ( ZEPH now, again, finally ) picks up and opens what isperhaps her very first Christmas gift in twenty-five years. Time, you suppose,is an elusive concept when you are cursed to live forever in your youth. Notanymore, though — You want to make sure things change, that they can startsoaking up experiences again and taking in life in a way they’d not been ableto experience in a long, long time. And it starts with this, with Zeph andRaven and your mother and other friends joined up for Christmas Day, 2100. It’sbeen a rough few months for you all, but you deserve this. THEY deserve this —All the little things and the smiles and happiness, as fleeting as it may be. Sowhen Zahara realizes what you got for her and demands you start playing,something shifts inside you. It seems as if the order of things is finally,slowly, piece by uneven broken piece, starting to make sense again. These arenot ghosts, and Zahara is not a stranger, and your friendship is not a ruin.You have never been more confused about your life, but you see things better now ( in a healthier way ). And you can appreciate it all — You aregrateful for it all, even. You rush to Aislinn’s sofa then, grab one of thecontrollers without even asking if anyone wants to play. ❝ I’ll be TOAD. Everyone knows he’s the better pick anyway. ❞ Yourclaim is a strong one, said with that annoying grin of yours — Filled with moreHAPPINESS than you thought it could contain ever again. You smile, and youmight claim you’re going to play as Toad, but your controller is alreadylooking for PEACH.

[knowrightnow]

five times smiled (^:

five times smiled • ( accepting ) • @altarshine

          BYRNE •There is what feels like the tiniest, most fragile bundle carefully tucked in yourarms, hands clutching on as tightly as possible as if you were afraid to let go( you ARE; a fear that will incrust itself under your skin for more than adecade ). And then slowly you untuck one of your hands from the hold you haveon the newborn ( YOUR newborn, you’ll never get tired of saying that ). Indexfinger carefully runs on the baby’s soft cheek in awe. In this moment, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS — Not the pain of birthgiving; not your own insecurities aboutbeing a mother ( you feel so entirely, vastly incapable of the task, and withno one you feel you can turn to about your doubts and questions. Books only gotyou that far, with that repetitive boredom that they brought you ); NOTHING. Youalmost, in fact, feel competent — like your world ended and began all over inthe past hours and you are now more in charge, responsible to protect whoeverit is your daughter will grow up to be and will want to become. You’ve never reallyfelt this competent before. Not like that. Not while at the same time feelingoverwhelmed by it all, and with the overwhelming dread that all of this willslip through your fingers soon enough ( like it always has ). The baby stirs.Your heart clenches as small, tired eyes still unable to fully take on theworld flutter slightly open and SEE YOU. These eyes are BLUE. You still marvel atthat ( you know this is likely to change, that babies are always born with blueeyes, but still. You can’t help but hope for a little blue-eyed RAVEN ). Youdon’t feel like you’re running out of time yet. If asked, you’ll tell peopleyou named your daughter for the sake of a JOKE. It’s true, it’s the reason youwere so attached to bird-themed names to begin with — but as you watch her, itbecomes clear she is the amalgamation of everything both you and Riccardo are.And you were always a BYRNE before becoming a Falco. ( And Byrne means RAVEN. )The baby stirs again, and your heart melts all over, the corners of your mouthrising in a soft, PROUD smile.

          ALESSIA • Theholidays were always an important time in the Falco household and for FalcoIndustries. Even before Obsidian, before everything went to shit, you can countthe amount of events they’d been holding and you’d been snuck to ( “added tothe guest list is NOT sneaking” ) a bit too easily. It was everything else, too— The winter fairs, the snow, the shopping with Alessia Falco, skipping thelast day of school, all these little things you missed and would NEVER be ableto provide to your own daughter. There is one thing you might be able to,though. A WHITE CHRISTMAS. Now that’s something you haven’t had in a while,snow always coming in abundance either before or after, but missing the mark onthe whole day entirely. And you can’t really complain — You dislike snow,dislike the slippery and frozen streets it leaves behind, making the whole ofObsidian appear colder and deader than it normally is ( an extraordinary feat,given the usual state of the devastated city ). Raven is SEVEN now, too old foryou to be able to entertain her with crayons and the back of documentscarefully labeled CONFIDENTIAL and IMPORTANT in your own private joke of slowingdown State business; old enough that she might actually read these documents;not old enough that you would know how to explain them to her ( you’re not sureshe’ll ever be old enough for that. Perhaps because you’re doing a poor job atfinding the right words for things so much BIGGER than you ). This, however ?Raven isn’t too old for THIS. You can see her little face growing closer to thecold windows as snowflakes fall, and so you rush through your whole closetuntil you find something resembling the warmest winter coat you own. It’s big,bulky and deep purple. ❝ RAVEN ALESSIA FALCO. ❞ You callout, and the name rings on your tongue like a tribute to all the people Ravenwould never get to meet, the aunt she never got, and all the snow days she’dnever get to experience. It also ring like TROUBLE, because why else would yoube using your daughter’s full name ? You hold the jacket way too big for thelittle girl open in front of you. ❝ Thought you could use to learn howto make snow angels, baby. I know a TOP SECRET location for that.❞ The roof.You mean the roof. Still, you bend down to be at eye-level with your daughter,a mischievous smile playing on her lips in challenge and invitation.       

          RHEA • ❝ You know they named THIS STAR after your grandmother. ❞ Legs aretucked under your feet as you take in the night sky from the highest floor ofFalco tower — a floor you’re not even entirely sure either of you are meant tobe roaming around at this time of the night, but its huge bay window gives youthe BEST view short of the roof of the tower, and the January air is not warmenough for you to want to brave THAT in your silk nightgown and robe. Raven’sbright face looks back at you, shining even through the dim lights of the room,and you point your finger again at the night sky, with more insistence thistime. “THIS ONE, they named this one after your grandmother”, you seem to say. Intruth, you have no bloody clue that they did. ❝ Might be aMOON, actually. The moon of Saturn that’s just like a SNOWBALL. ❞ A pause.❝ RHEA. She’d have loved you. ❞ You don’t actually believe that one ofSaturn’s moons was named after Rhea Falco, a woman you’d only met in rarepictures and the odd story Alessia had told to you before she died ( Riccardotold you stories, too, but his memories of his mother were few, not enough to approximatewhat really was a full person ), but you want to believe ( you have to believe ) that she would haveloved Raven. If Alessia didn’t lie, you are sure she would have. And you wantRaven to love her, too — To feel some sort of connection with her that she’ll otherwisenever be able to have ( not with Rhea Falco and not, it seems, with many otherpeople ). So when your teenage daughter’s face turns to you again, you smile —faintly and ENCOURAGINGLY. You want her to believe. You want her to believe SOBADLY, even though really you know fuck all. You’ve had enough wine with dinnerthat the lie slips past your lips convincingly, and you prop yourself back upon your knees ( then stand up completely ), carefully advancing closer to her as if to inspect the sky. ❝ Right there, you see ?! ❞ Giddy laugh is in your voice, you clasp oneof your hands on your daughter’s shoulder and squeeze, in a one-armed hug. Youthink perhaps that Raven can hear the lie — She’s FOURTEEN now, not amused muchmore by your dramatic retelling of stories and quite probably able to spot thethings you make up by how you purposefully drag your syllables when you speak.But this is RHEA FALCO, this is a planet that looks like a SNOWBALL, this isASTRONOMY. Everything has carefully aligned with symbolism, to the point whereyou think that perhaps ? Perhaps you’re already believing in it all. The feeling of yourdaughter, still pressed against your side in a hug she hasn’t tried to escapefrom ( yet ? ) makes you smile some more.

          FALCO • You’re notquite sure what is happening at all. You don’t know anymore, have never known.Your own confusion transpires through every one of your pores, but at the very leastyou can tell that Raven is HAPPY. You have never seen her this happy before —Giddy, running from people to people in JOY, EXALTATION and EXCITEMENT. A wholelife opened ahead of her, and she’d chosen to make friends. You’ve raised herwell, you think — Or perhaps you haven’t, and this wonderful humanbeing is like this despite all that you did. Either way, you taught hereverything you knew. This is perhaps the only thing you are certain of in oneof the most uncertain times in your life. Riccardo is here, too — Sat as faraway from you as you could allow, but not far enough that you can’t make outall the creases in his face, the droplets of water at his every moves. You gotso scared back then ( back then, as if this hadn’t been minutes ago ). Soscared for him, for you, for the life you never led but would have deserved tohave ( still wanted to have ). It’s your daughter that shakes you out of yourown insecurities when she reaches you, arms extending as your first reactionwhen you turn to her is still to FIX HER HAIR before you pull each other into a hug.You hold on as tightly as you can — Because you know there’s a boy over therewaiting for her ( and a man waiting for YOU ), and you want to makethis moment where she is still entirely yours, as she was all those years agowhen you first held her, last forever. It doesn’t, but you know you’ve got tolet her live out her life and all the experiences you’ve wished for her, lether FALL IN LOVE ( and fall hard ) and hope it wouldn’t burn her ( you’d bethere to patch things up if it ever did again ). You have a story to live outfor yourself, too — Yours and Riccardo’s. Your hand still clutches hers as muchas you can until she lets go of it and walks away, a huff of hair rushing backto the boy. DOWN. Raven’s let her hair down, carefully framing the soft linesof a face that looked so much like her father. Your lips curl up then in thisbittersweet, proud smile only parents can know. Your daughter is a FALCO,through and through.

          RAVEN • It’s alwaysthe little things that remind you how much EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED. Everythinghas changed and yet the order is restored. It’s not that things aren’t brokenstill, painful shards of life ( and everything that happened ) still needingtime to be glued back together to form a coherent whole, and you think thatperhaps it is unfair of you to assume it would ever stop hurting entirely. ( Soyou don’t. But you HOPE, and hope, and hope against all hopes that things canat least keep going in the direction they’ve taken so far. ) You’re standing inthe doorframe of your daughter’s room, your blue eyes lit up at the sight ofher trying to do her make-up, and perhaps EVERYTHING changed but some thingsBLESSFULLY stayed the same. ❝ Here, I’ve got this. Hand me youreyeliner. ❞ You offer, taking a few steps into the still pinkbedroom and smiling ( bright, bold, happy ) as you catches your daughter’s eyesin the mirror’s reflection. Raven might not understand why all of this means somuch to you, but you do not expect her to. You are GRATEFUL for all of that —All of the changes, all of the things that stayed the same, all of the peopleyour daughter both is and isn’t, and how she came in her own. A RAVEN,spreading her wings and taking flight to become whoever she wants to be.  

[altarshine]

❛ NO ONE ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO BE A GOOD GIRL ❜

indie raven falco from bat out of hell: the musical. written by kitty. promo credit.

[knowrightnow]

ZEPH. 

        ❝    -   oh,  is  that  so ?   ❞    her  snarky  response  includes  a   CLASSIC  raise  of  her  eyebrows.   zahara  scoots  to  the  side  to  make  room  for  her  best  friend,   action  plan  to  get  this  secret out  of  her  already  in  place.    ❝     well ?  are  you  planning  to   tell  me,   or  are  you  gonna  leave  me  here  in   SUSPENSE  ?   ❞

          There’s a nonchalant shrug in response to the snarky remark, the woman now carefully inspecting red-painted fingernails in fake, dramatised sign of her ignoring her friend. This is was Zahara gets for her sarcasm.  ❝ Don’t know YET. I mean I was but now I’ve just decided against it. ❞

[knowrightnow]

RAVEN.

        ❝    DID  I  RUIN  THINGS ?   ❞      the  question is  vague.   she   KNOWS   it  is.   as  she  had  grown,  raven  had  become  more  aware  of  the  constant   downpour  she  had  been  raised  in.   there  was  always  a  riot  outside  the  door,   a chaos  she  was  longing  to  be  a  part  of,  but  could  never   JOIN.   instead,  she  sat  front  row,  watching  both  her  parents  and  their  love  for  each  other  deteriorate.    no,  raven  had  never  wanted  to  dwell  on   WHY   or   HOW   that  happened,  but  she  had  her ideas.   her  eyes  are  wide,  and  they  refuse  to  look  away,   scanning  sloane’s  face  for   every  reaction   she  had     ❝    -   if  you  and  dad  were   HAPPIER  back  then,  was  it  me  ?   ❞

          ❝ DID YOU —— ❞ Dry laughter chokes up in her throat as she realises the seriousness of her daughter’s question. None of this is funny ( She doesn’t find it funny, the idea that Raven might blame herself. That it might be her fault that she does ), but there is something so ridiculous with the idea that Sloane can’t help herself. Even in her wild fantasies of escapism, of everything going back the way it used to be ( should be ), of being young and light-hearted again, Sloane had never regretted her daughter ( not one bit ). It keeps her up at night, making her feel worse about her own wishes of youth and rewriting the past. ❝ Of course not, honey. You cannot even begin to imagine how HAPPY you’ve made us after the hardest times in our lives. ❞ She’s not quite sure how much Raven has been taught about everything, how much she should desperately try to EXPLAIN to her. So instead Sloane says — ❝ Things got ruined way before you, and kept on getting shittier after you were born, but it’s not your fault. If anything, it’s UNFAIR to you, too. ❞ 

[lifeistemporaryyy]