black licorice

koori ui [affiliated with isolaradiale] House 135

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

The sweet and soft smile she had donned so inappropriately at a time like this suddenly fell. A thought struck her as she watched Ui silently stumble closer.

“Koori…?” He did not respond; did he even hear her? “Koori.”

Hairu leaned in, forcing her way into his personal space. His eyes were somewhere else, somewhere that Hairu was unsure of; was it somewhere she was, or even could be? Wrenching her hand free, Hairu pressed it against his forehead. He was cold, so cold, where she had anticipated the heat of a fever. It surprised her, and for a moment she stared with mouth agape.

“Koori, are-are you okay…?”

His shoulder bumped into her’s, and perhaps if Hairu was a bit more clever, she would have already known the answer to her question. Yet, before she could repeat her question, Ui finally spoke. He did not respond to her words, though, and instead forced Hairu to think of things that were unpleasant.

She had told him as such, a brief comment after their arrival wherein Hairu had found the briefcase in her apartment. She had grabbed it this time upon impulse, like a reflex she could not control. She didn’t want to use it, despite her previous fondness for quinques in the past. Losing her life had caused her to lose such a particular passion.

However, Hairu did not know how to verbalize all of those thoughts, given that his latter comment struck her far more deeply than she would have liked. She was not a normal girl, not in life nor death, no matter how much she desired to be one. To be reminded of that harsh reality, whether intentional or not, caused Hairu to momentarily tremble.

“I… I’m not…”

Hairu was the one who wasn’t okay. Hairu always ran so far ahead of him leaving him behind. She was so careless she would lose her head if it was not attached. Ui’s face was hidden by his hair, but if she could see the expression he was making right now it would likely terrify her. 

This time he grabbed her by the wrist, jerking her whole arm towards him. “Did you even think? No, you don’t think...” Ui muttered to himself. He was not sure he was even talking to Hairu anymore. He was some tall, black, ghoulish thing. He barely looked like the Ui she knew. 

“Nevermind, it doesn’t matter. We’re going back.” 

He looked like he was dragging a reluctant child. Then suddenly she wasn’t. Ui looked at his empty hand and then turned around and looked back at Hairu. She wasn’t coming with him. Why wasn’t she? He just wanted to keep her safe. 

She had let go of his hand and wouldn’t come with him. “Hairu why...” He tried to form the words, but he couldn’t tell her the real reason he was so worried.. “It’s... dangerous out here.” 

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

Whereas other people, even a bystander, could make all sorts of assumptions about a knife-wielding man gripping a woman’s arm. Hairu, however, was unable to put anything about this scenario together and stared blankly at Ui for a moment. 

“Huh?” She finally said, very few things going through her brain. “But, I’m…”

Hairu looked down, finally noticing what was occupying Ui’s other hand. Like a child, she pointed at the kitchen knife, given that the hand attached to the arm Ui had a hold of was carrying a briefcase.

“What’s that?” It was a kitchen knife, obviously, but Hairu really meant to ask ‘why do you have that?’; her words simply came out wrong, which was little surprise to anyone that knew her.

“Ohhhhhh.” Hairu said, completely relaxed, as if she had come to some sort of grand conclusion. “Were you worried about me? Were you lonely?”

She blushed, her cheeks quickly matching the same color as her own hair.

“It’s okay, Koori, I was out here helping people… we can do it together, so you won’t be alone.”

Hairu had somehow missed the point completely, and yet was still able to show him a soft, even gentle, smile.

He saw her smile. He saw that same smile, distorted and ruined. It appeared like black scribbles in his memory, like the monster that had killed her had also CHEWED HER FACE OFF. Ui’s fingers tightened around the handle of the kitchen knife. He gripped so hard his knuckles turned white. 

“What’s what?”

He didn’t even seem to realize he was holding it. Hairu was saying what he was sure were words but did not even seem to register to him as such. He just saw the figures around him, panicking, moving around in groups. Hairu at the centerof them, the only person he could see in detail, in color. Hairu, alone with him.

Ui walked past her looking like he was ignoring her (he wasn’t, wasn’t trying too... it was just too loud) his body moving stiff and robotic-ally. He bent over and picked up what looked to be an unassuming suitcase from the ground. 

“Why did you bring this...?” 

Ui said to her. 

“Why do you have this?” 

Ui said.

“Hairu, you said you were never going to touch a quinque again. Y-you’re a normal girl, you don’t need this. ”

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

@koorisenpai​

Hairu had initially noted that it had been raining, yet, as she moved through the chaos affecting Fibonacci Ward, Hairu saw many strange things; rain that went in reverse, people that could not get up due to gravity beating down on them, buildings that nearly floated away into the sky. It was scary, and yet, she remained outdoors in the fray. A briefcase hiding a quinque remained at her side, though she had no intention of using it. She had grabbed it on impulse, out of habits that should have died with her.

She hadn’t thought much about it, which perhaps wasn’t all that surprising. Hairu simply wanted to help, to do something positive. She had caused a lot of pain when she had been an investigator, hadn’t she? If she helped people now, would it make up for the ghouls she killed? She was unsure, but, at the very least wanted to try.

“This way, this way.” Hairu mirrored the words and actions of other volunteers, trying to usher people inside to seemingly safe buildings. She did not know if they were truly safe, but simply followed the direction of others. It did not dawn on her how history was repeating itself.

Hairu turned, looking for any stray persons that might need assistance, but instead felt someone grab at her arm; the tug was so strong, it completely caught her off guard. Hairu blinked, only to see the face of Ui Koori staring back at her.

“… Koori?”

“Oh, you should go inside. I don’t think it’s very safe out here…”

Ui had lost faith in his ability to help people. He had failed to help one girl. A little girl who never had a family, or a life like he did, and scarce few moments of happiness. He didn’t protect her smile. He saw her whole face destroyed and defiled. Whenever she was out of his sight, he imagined her going through it all over again. 

That was why. This time. This time. This time. 

He was going to give Hairu a nice normal life. A life where she did not have to kill anyone to earn praise. Just a quiet life where nothing special happened. He didn’t even need to be part of that life. She didn’t even need to look his way. As long as he could be sure she was... she was... Where was she? 

When Ui woke up in the morning Hairu was not there. He paced his apartment back and forth before noticing that hers had been left open. The common sense that usually held him back was completely gone as he rifled through her things searching for some evidence of where she might have gone. 

When Ui found it he was outside the door. He saw the world was ending. Didn’t particularly care. His world was a girl with cherry blossom hair, and a laugh that popped like bubblegum. As he left he did not even notice he had unconsciously grabbed a knife. 

“You’re the one who’s in danger, idiot.” 

He said, his grip tightening around her arm. 

“Hairu, we’re going back inside.” 

Ui was not asking her, he was telling her. 

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

Hairu stared in silence, mouth agape. She needed several moments to process what was happening, and the evolving sight of Ui Koori in a state of undress was not helping. She continued to stare and stare at him, not even moving to grab the sketch book (or any of the thrown about drawing utensils) that was nearby.

In the awkward silence that had ensued, a thought struck her, and Hairu could not help but suddenly snicker.

She turned away from him, still sitting on the floor, and tried to cover her face. Yet, despite this, she could not hold in the laughter that bubbled up from her chest and up her throat.

“Pfft… ehehe… ahaha…”

Hairu even tried to lay on the floor, still not looking at Ui, but the laughter that soon filled up the room could still not be stopped. Perhaps if someone listened close enough, they might hear Hairu’s words in between her laughter that would explain just what it was that she found so amusing.

“Ehe… Koori called me a pervert– ahaha– but, but he’s the one who, ah, who took off his clothes…!”

“I get it, I’m not much to look at.”

Ui said, indignant. His eye always twitched a certain way when he was barely holding back his temper. His entire face was the exact same shade of Hairu’s hair. As he stood there, in full view, in bloom, he may as well have been a flower. 

Then he realized his misunderstanding and all of the color drained from his face at once. His skin was a few shades paler than a corpse, but then again it always ways life had left his body when Hairu left him and he accepted she would never come back. Six years ago, six years he simply continued to live without living. Living, but not living, and not dying. 

“Y-you! I... you!” 

Ui suddenly felt a burst of energy and he ran out of the room, slamming the door. A moment later he realized what he had done and ran back into the room to pick up his clothes. 

“I’m leaving. Don’t talk to me for the rest of the night.” 

He slammed the door a second time. Then he opened the door again. 

“Hairu, have you seen my pants I can’t find them.” 

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

Hairu fell to her knees, soon laying on the floor with a soft ‘thud’. This was it. Her life (or, after-life?) was over. Ui Koori had found the exact things she had wished him not to. Everything was awful. His words did not help, and Hairu began to flounder… that is to say, she rolled on the floor in her own, over-dramatic show of despair.

Once again, she appeared to be a child pouting, showing out and having a tantrum, as opposed to the adult she often claimed to be to counter Ui’s scoldings. Rolling around on the floor, grumbling and pouting, what a terrible failure she was. Ui was right.

Her breath hitched and her face scrunched up. Hairu didn’t want to cry, and tried to hold it in. Even though she was embarrassed, even though she was upset, she decided she would not cry at the very least. If she could hold in her tears, then…

“… Huh?”

“What?”

Hairu paused, laying on the floor and looking up at where Ui stood. It took her a few moments to understood what he was saying.

“Can I really?”

“I don’t mind. If it helps you - then I don’t mind.” 

All he wanted to do was help her a little bit. He knew it was impossible to atone to her for never helping her once, she who needed his help, who needed love the most in her past life. He could not love her properly, he couldn’t even be with her for long, even these days felt like they would disappear at any moment. He could at least do these small things for her. 

He undid the tie around his neck. It felt like loosening a noose. The pale flesh of his neck probably still had rope burns. He unbuttoned his collar slowly, methodically, one button at a time. He shed his dress shirt, then his undershirt. The only thing he had difficulty with was stepping out of his pants. 

Ui averted his eyes.  He had no idea why she wanted to draw someone like him, a bag of bones only barely clinging to life. 

“Well, hurry up and start drawing already. Don’t stare, that’s rude.”

He was already beginning to feel the breeze between his legs without his boxers. 

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

Hairu poked her head out of her room, now seeing that Ui had left to do… something. She frowned. Wasn’t he the one who told her not to wander off? Now, he was doing it. Hairu was sure that there was a word for that, but, she could not currently think of it.

So, she simply grumbled something under her breath about how she wasn’t ‘throwing things around’, despite the fact that she had just been doing that. She soon turned her attention to organizing the sketch books, notepads, and similar items that she had used to keep all of her doodles, drawings, and sketches. Hairu did well to actually find a neat and tidy space, but soon noticed that one sketchbook was missing. Where had she left it…?

Hairu left her room to hear Ui’s scolding. Her child-like pouting immediately returned.

“That’s ‘cause cleaning is boring…” She huffed, only to soon notice that the sketchbook she was looking for was in Ui’s hands. Hairu reached out for it, but her hands were far too late.

Hairu screamed.

“That’s why I told you not to look!” Her shrill pitch was far too similar to a child’s temper tantrum, and Hairu’s immediate attempts to snatch the sketchbook from Ui’s hands did not help the comparison. “I’m not a pervert– I’m not!”

“You have to learn to clean up after yourself. It’s not like I’ll always be around to...” 

Ui’s voice trailed off, like a stream that had suddenly dried up. He could feel his throat cracking as he choked on the words. Always be around to what? Babysit her? He just knew from experience that these days could not last forever. He knew he was no good for her, that was why the worst thing he could do was let her get attached.

He ignored her protests and instead picked her phone up from where it was plugged into the wall. He went to the image gallery and found far more blurry pictures all of them taken when he was not looking. His eyes were closed in some of them, and the other was foggy and showed Ui’s naked... 

“You’re not just a pervert you’re a total failure of a human being.” 

Ui’s opinion of her had plummeted to the bottom of the ocean. Still he could not understand why she was so obsessed with him. He was just a man who had done absolutely nothing to comfort her when she needed him. 

He misunderstood. The harshness of his brow relaxed, as he averted his eyes from her. “If you wanted someone to model for you so badly so you could have just asked me.” 

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

There were all sorts of explanations she could have given him as to why she had drawn herself alone, but Hairu kept her mouth shut. She did not wish to even think about those things or that place, much less say them aloud. Yet, when he spoke of the drawings she had done of him, Hairu flinched again.

“No, don’t look! I said not to look at those!” She practically screeched, reaching out to grab and pull away the notebook from his hands. She threw it to the side without thinking, only making a further mess of her room. Hairu ran to the pile of notebooks and sketchbooks she had created, wanting to do anything to ensure Ui would not look at them. Her back turned to him completely, Hairu fumbled over her words.

“Well, I… I drew you, ‘cause…”

“Because… Most of the time when I was with you, I really was happy.”

Even if he didn’t remember, even if her own memory wasn’t substantial enough, she still felt that way. The two of them working together, his scoldings, their game of subway stops… it was all precious to her.

Hairu went quiet, then realized that the silence continued for a moment. She peeked behind her, only to see that Ui Koori was no longer in her room. He had left, and hadn’t heard anything she had just said. Oh.

“… Koori?”

"Don’t just throw things you’ll make a mess.” Ui felt like he had difficulty talking to Hairu, but he could lecture her pretty much on reflex. He decided to clean up after her, kneeling down, shoulders hunched. As he picked up the sketchbook off of the floor he realized how messy this side of the room was. 

He started to organize the boxes. Ui silently thought to himself how different Hairu’s current living space looked from the apartment he remembered. It was an empty room with four white walls, a bed, and a chair that looked more like the set from a stageplay. When he had been given permission to collect Hairu’s belongings from there the place did not look lived in it all. It felt as if Hairu had lived without leaving behind a single trace in this world for him. 

His fingers began to tremble as he remembered the empty apartment. The belongings that could barely fill a small box. The pictures he found of their time together that he thought she had thrown away. She kept them. Why did she keep them. 

“I’m tidying up. Since you’re an idiot who doesn’t even know how to clean..” Ui said when she started to call out his name. He was glad to hear her voice though, it was like a clear ringing bell that woke him from his worst terrors. Ui picked up the sketchbook again. “You don’t have to hide these. I have a few frames we could put some of these drawings on display...” Ui suddenly stopped, and then showed her one panel. It was a picture of Ui walking through the mist tastefully nude. “I DON’T REMEMBER GETTING PERMISSION TO MODEL FOR THIS! IDIOT! PERVERT!” 

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

She had covered her face, afraid to see what reaction Ui would have at any of her drawings; she assumed he would open the notebook up to see himself, yet his words proved the opposite. She dared to move two of her fingers, letting her vision see both Ui and the drawing he mentioned. A field of flowers, and children playing in them; none aware that they were merely all artificial.

Hairu tensed, yet her hands still fell at her sides. She didn’t know what to say for a moment.

“…”

“Yeah… I did.”

She reached out, her fingers overlapping on top of Ui’s; not because she wanted to hold his hand, but simply take hold of the notebook. She looked at the drawing again, focusing on her own creation. In the time she had recreated on paper, she had been so innocent, so foolish and naive, far moreso than she was now.

“I draw flowers, ‘cause… sometimes I wish I could go back there. It was easier.”

It was easier, she thought, simply because she did not know the truth. She hadn’t known a thing as a child, and so she didn’t know any better, either.

“You’re alone in all of these pictures.” 

He put his hand over the pink haired child standing there in the flowers. She looked so lost. If only there was someone to take that girl’s hand. His own hands were so cold. When her hands traveled near his, he shied away from her. He could not touch her. 

Hairu was colorful like flowers. She was bright, like flowers. Her skin soft like flowers. Her cheeks pink like flowers. Like flowers she bloomed. Like flowers she wilted. Like flowers she died. If he thought about this any longer he was going to scatter. He pulled away from her and started to page through the journal. 

“Why are there so many drawings of me? We... didn’t spend that much time together while you were alive. I wasn’t... part of your life.” 

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

Despite what she had said a moment ago about tidying up her mess of sketchbooks, notepads, and stray pieces of paper that had been doodled all over, Hairu was actually trying to hide them all in her closet. All except one, unfortunately, as Ui’s grip had been stronger than she anticipated.

She had completely ignored his first statements, one because she was trying to hide her drawings, and two because he was talking about yesterday. Hairu was focused on the right now, today’s current moment. She didn’t have the patience to be concerned about yesterday.

Yet, at his compliment, his desire to see more of the things she was clearly embarrassed over… Hairu made a strange noise, her face turning bright red.

Hairu turned away, struggling to string a coherent sentence together. Steam practically rose out of her ears, and her cheeks ballooned up into a pout. She looked quite silly, a series of red and pink splotches. 

“You–you like…?”

“Don’t… that’s… embarrassing…!”

Ui was surprised that Hairu could even feel embarrassment. She always acted so carefree. Like there was no strings attached. Like there was always a reason to smile. Always smiling like an idiot. Ui suspected. He had an inkling. That there was more to her.

He loved that girl so much, but he realized he didn’t know anything about her. He was so shallow. He was a puddle. And Hairu. Hairu, Hairu, Hairu. Being around Hairu was like drowning. 

He took advantage of her fluster to pull the sketchbook away from her and take a closer look. “Why do you draw flowers so much?” 

He asked. It occurred to him that he had been such a small part of Hairu’s life. He only knew her for a year. She lived an entire lifetime without him. The time he spent with her was so brief, and it was over in an instant, like a dream. 

“You’re so young in these. Did you play in the flowers a lot when you were younger?” 

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

@koorisenpai​

“No, don’t look!”

Hairu came tearing her way through the other side of the room, snatching the open sketchbook out of Ui Koori’s hands. Within it were countless sketches of the man himself, all of which Hairu did not want him to see. It was embarrassing, after all.

Her face burned brightly, and in her clumsy, frantic act, Hairu not only snatched the sketchbook from Ui, but him him harshly on the chin with it as well. Yet, she was so quick to turn around, she hardly noticed what she’d done. Hairu was already off collecting all the other sketchbooks and papers that littered her mess of a room, clearly not wanting Ui to see any of them. It did not register in her mind that he might have already done so…

“Don’t look at these– I’m, I’m cleaning them up, so look somewhere else!”

“Jeez, what’s wrong with you now? You hated me yesterday, and now you’re acting like this. You just can’t make up your mind...” 

Ui thought after yesterday Hairu would never want to see him again. Then this morning, she dragged him out of bed and into her room and would not leave her alone. It was like she was two different people, the bubbly pink princess of the ccg, and the tragic girl who died fighting, and he did not understand either of them. 

He just wanted to make her happy. He had no idea how to. After she had died, it was like he forgot what happiness was. When Hairu tried to pull the sketchbook away from him, Ui tugged back, and they started fighting over it like two children. 

“Th-these drawings are cute. I like them. I want to look at them more...” If he said that, would that make her a little bit happy? Was that enough praise for her? No matter how much he praised her it wouldn’t be enough, he couldn’t get rid of the guilt that he should have said all of these things while she was still alive. 

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

Now they were both shouting, they were both causing a scene. Hairu didn’t much notice, and even if she had, she certainly wouldn’t have cared. That was because she was far too focused on what the other ex-investigator shouted back at her.

He was right. She did not know what it was like to lose someone she cared for. Garden Children had disappeared or died as a result of the Garden’s teachings. Investigators around her had died time and time again. She was one of them, in fact. 

Before coming to a different city, she had not ever gotten so close to someone. Yet, that person was gone now, at least partially. The man whose voice echoed in her ears shared the same face, but they were different. The Ui Koori in front of her did not act like the one she had once grown close to in a far-off, distant land. Maybe that had been a fairy tale her mind created after death, since her head had been severed, or maybe a dream she hazily remembered. So, did she really lose someone at all? Perhaps not, perhaps she really was still utterly alone.

Hairu touched her neck, feeling the scar tissue that coiled around it. She hated it, just as much as she hated the scar on her stomach. It was proof of her failure, proof of her death, proof that she had left Ui behind.

“I don’t,” she finally responded, her voice cracking as she began. “Not really. I never had anyone to lose. Even Arima-san… he didn’t care that I died, did he?”

“I’m still alone, it doesn’t matter if I’m dead! Even when we were partners, I was lonely!”

Ui saw Hairu draw attention to her neck. He reached out and his fingers ghosted touching her there, but he was far too afraid her head would roll off again. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket before they broke anything else.

Ui tasted iron, and swallowed blood. He needed to stop biting his tongue so hard. 

“I’m so...so... sorry I left you alone...” 

He practically choked on the words. Ui thought about it countless times, what he would do if he saw her again. He didn’t know how to explain to her how much time he spent sleeping just for the chance to meet her in his dreams. 

Six years stretched out like an impossible black void between them.  Ui would do anything, tug on any string to pull her a little closer. 

He pulled his hands out of his jacket pockets and with it a red scarf. “I got you a gift. Ah, it’s probably improper of me to as your former superior to buy you gifts but. I also thought it might upset you if I didn’t get you anything for today.”

He wrapped the scarf he had knit himself out of red yarn around her neck, to cover up her scar. 

“I won’t leave you alone ever again, in this lifetime, or the next. I-if you don’t mind that is.” 

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

“I’m not throwing a tantrum!”

Hairu hollered out, waving her bundled up fists in the air; a direct contradiction of the statement she was trying to make. Her cheeks ballooned out, and she was clearly pouting. Even when under the mysterious effects of dubious candy, Hairu’s childish personality still shined through.

“I know I died already, you can stop saying it!”

Her volume increased, and perhaps if Ui was not already one of her neighbors, a commotion might have been caused.

“You never asked anything about me– you just liked to scold me, ‘cause you’re an old man!”

“Don’t say you died like it’s nothing!” 

Ui’s ears were ringing.  He heard bells, bells, bells. 

He was constantly trying to freeze himself, feel nothing when he was around her. He knew if he did not control himself, he would lose everything again. He put a foot in the doorway and found himself raising his voice to match hers. 

“You don’t know what it feels like to lose you!”

Ui stopped pretending to be mature and yelled back at her like a child. He was angry, because he didn’t notice. He was angry because he knew nothing. He saw her drawing further and further away from him, but never asked. Then, she disappeared from his world. It took all of his willpower to keep his hands at his sides, to not throw his arms around her and beg her to never disappear again.  “How could you possibly know what it feels like to lose someone you love?” 

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

Hairu’s head dipped, her gaze hitting the floor. She wanted to go back into her apartment, she wanted to lie down. Yet, she suddenly felt Ui Koori’s hands upon her shoulders, and her body tensed. Her head snapped up, and she looked at him with a mix of surprise and annoyance.

“What are you…?”

His words were more of a shock than his touch. She jerked herself away from him, her frown now returning to darken her features.

“You’re not… responsible for me. I’m an adult.”

“Don’t treat me like a child.”

“Then, just tell me what the problem is instead of insisting on this childish tantrum.”

When Ui saw how unwelcome his touch was he wanted to cut his own hand off. His cold sense of rationality kept him from doing so. His hand feel to his side, and he opened and closed his fingers. 

He looked to be in pain.  He was in pain with her,a nd with out her. Either way it was agony. 

Ui hung his head. His hand tightened into the fabric of his black slacks. The noose tightened. “I don’t understand you. I never understood you. You didn’t tell me anything, and then you died.”

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

Hairu heard none of his failed attempt at a compliment, for she was so overcome by the increasing pain in her temples. She even paused to lean against her door frame, but only for the briefest of moments. Just as the headache had crept upon her, it dissipated just as suddenly. Yet, the foul mood she was left with remained.

“No, they didn’t,” she quickly snapped.

Her memory might have been hazy, but she couldn’t help but feel she had already discussed such matters with the man before him. Or rather, hadn’t she done so with another Ui Koori? One that was kind to her? If that was the case, then why was she dealing with this man, the one that said rude things to her?

Hairu folded her arms across her chest, guarding herself from his gaze. Her frown deepened.

“Go away.”

“What does that mean...?” 

Hairu had told him nothing about her past, or at least what little she told him Ui did not understand it. He knew nothing about her. They had hardly even been friends, just coworkers. 

He watched her with nervous eyes. She was still like the crying red cherry blossoms to him, ephemeral, always about to fall. When she grew unsteady, he felt something like vertigo or nausea. His muscles locked, and he could not move his body. He was as stiff as a walking corpse. 

He was, so, so afraid that she would fall away from him again. 

Ui finally reached out to catch the falling blossoms. He grabbed her by the shoulders. “How can I go away when you can barely stand? I’m responsible for you, you know. How could I just leave you alone when you’re like this?” 

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

“You look terrible,” was the first thing that Hairu blurted out. 

She was often speaking her mind before considering her words, so her outburst wasn’t entirely out of character for her. The frown she continued to wear, however, was.

At his question, her face scrunched up in thought. It looked more akin to a child pouting, though.

“Eh?”

“Did I say that? I don’t… remember…”

Her memories were fuzzy, hazy as she tried to recall them. That had happened before, and she wasn’t pleased about it. Brow furrowed, Hairu placed a hand to her temple.

“’S giving me a headache,” she mumbled under her breath.

“You don’t.” 

Ui said his head snapped up, before quickly coughing and trying to cover it up. 

“You don’t look terrible - I mean. You always look so. You’re pretty.” 

Ui thought it was wrong of him to say that. He was the one who defiled her corpse after all. He wasn’t her lover, he was frankenstein and she was his monster. However, the thought that Hairu had probably not ever heard even that small amount of praise ate him up inside. Nicotine, and guilt, those were the tastes on his lips that were slowly poisoning him. 

He looked self consciously at his own feet. It agitated him a little bit. That she was just treating him like he wasn’t there. It’s like she didn’t see him at all. He chewed his lip worse, body stiffening. 

“Hey, don’t just stare into space when someone’s talking to you. Didn’t anybody teach you manners?”

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

@koorisenpai​

Hairu would eat snacks whenever the opportunity presented itself, even if she shouldn’t have done so. Perhaps she ought to have been more wary of a stranger giving out free samples of candy, but Hairu did not worry about such things. She just wanted to eat candy, and did not consider that it might be unhealthy for her or that doing so might have some un-intended side effects. 

For example, the knock on her door was supposed to be expected. Yet, upon seeing the face of Ui Koori, Hairu suddenly felt annoyed. She frowned, the emotions she felt clearly showing on her face.

“… What?”

The Hairu he remembered was always smiling. No matter how embittered he became, she was like  honey melting on his tongue. Ui had no idea why she was able to smile at him like that. He had not done a single thing to make her happy in the brief time they had together. 

Ui always suspected that she might hate him.  No, maybe he wanted to be hated by her. 

He stood in front of the door, thin and frail. He still had a young looking face, but his eyes were several years older than the rest of him. His black hair fell messily in front of his face. Black hair, black eyes, pale skin, he looked especially colorless and joyless. 

When he saw Hairu frown on him his heart fell just a little. Even though. He didn’t deserve her smile. He bit the inside of his lip. “What’s with that face? You’re the one who whined all last night that you wanted to spend the day together.” 

[koorisenpai]

gardenwreath‌:

Hairu couldn’t help but grumble like a child, though it was considerably deafened by the coat thrust into her face. She gripped at it tightly, covering most of her face and torso with it.

“I’m not a crybaby,” she huffed, pouting as she did so.

Logically, she knew he was right. It was freezing, and neither of them ought to be out in such weather at this time of night. Even still, Hairu could not ignore the aching in her chest. Not only that, as her gaze lingered on his form before her, Hairu grew confused.

Why had he run after her after saying such cruel things? Why did he come for her if he didn’t remember the things she did? Why would he call for her if he considered them nothing more than partners?

“I’ll only go with you on two conditions.”

As she spoke, she held up two of her fingers, still not getting up from the cold bench beneath her.

“First… you have to tell me why you’re here, why I should go with you…” Hairu paused, her cheeks suddenly flushing. “And two… you have to hold my hand.”

“Then learn to act like an adult already.” 

Ui was strict as always. He only knows how to be cold and informal.  He’s stiff like a corpse. If he had the words to make Hairu smile he would say them, but he doesn’t have the words inside of him. There’s nothing left. Hairu took all the best parts of him.

He had difficulty looking at her face because he expected to see nothing but the stump of her neck.  A few insecure glances. 

“It’s been seven years since the Rose operation. I am no longer a ghoul investigator. I teach at the academy. I don’t know why, I was always a shitty teacher... look how brainless you turned out.”

Ui wanted a smoke. He wanted to burn the tips of his fingers off so he didn’t feel anything. He looked at Hairu’s fingers, delicate, if he touched her he was sure she would break. 

He grabs her by the wrist instead, and tries to yank her off of the bench.