It's so awesome to see another TouRabu blog! May I request some hurt/comfort in which Kashuu comforts his Saniwa who puts up a strong front with the others but confessed to him that they feel like they are not good enough for the boys and feel useless?
Oh, man… Sorry for the wait, but this one gave me so much trouble and I’m still not sure I like the answer I created. However, I still hope this will live up to what you imagined, anon.
You see me every day. You see me smile, laugh, joke, banter… My precious sword warriors. Nay, my friends…or are you family? Perhaps both, if I can be so bold. But you have yet to see the real me, the me I keep hidden from the world. You all look upon me with such admiration…and it almost seems cruel to lie to the point where maybe even I sometimes fail to recognize the truth staring back at me in the mirror. I cannot escape this sorrow that burrows deep within me…and I fear it may eat me alive.
Your hand came to a stop against the paper, pen gripped tightly between trembling fingers. You stared at the half-written letter in disdain; those words, raw and bitter, glared back at you from the desk below. Your free hand came up to rest upon your chest, nails gripping into skin. Suppressing your inner demons was simply a part of your existence; it was something you had come to accept, whether you truly wanted to or not. After all, it was they who kept you company all those years prior to this phase in your life…and what business had you to run them out now. Your hand left your chest, nails digging now into the letter until it resembled nothing more than a crumpled heap. The pen clattered to the desk when a knock was heard on the pair of shoji doors.
“Aruji~! The expedition team’s returned!”
You glanced to the door before standing, slipping on the fake smile you had created long ago.
“Kashuu, you should look at this,” Hasebe murmured outside the common hall, dinner taking place within, “I found it while cleaning Aruji’s office…and it disturbs me.”
Kashuu’s eyes narrowed as he took the carefully folded paper from Hasebe’s outstretched hand, the notebook stationery crinkled throughout. He scanned each sentence, pausing as his red eyes widened before reading the text a second time.
“…Aruji wrote this? Are you sure?”
“You know as well as I that their handwriting is unmistakable. It’s the messiest in the Citadel.”
Kashuu grunted softly, finding it impossible to argue against that point.
“Despite my feelings of astonishment, you remain our master’s favorite sword…if their sleep talking is to be believed,” Hasebe continued, ignoring his fellow Uchigatana’s smirk, “As such, you’re the best suited for the job.”
Hasebe placed a finger on the letter’s surface.
“Getting to the bottom of this.”
Kashuu Kiyomitsu stood outside the saniwa’s bedroom, notably separate in atmosphere from their office down the hall. Licking his lower lip, he refolded the letter and slipped it within the confines of his sleeping yukata. He breathed out and turned towards the shoji doors, sliding them open.
You glanced up from the novel you were reading, shifting on your futon as he approached.
“Dinner was good tonight,” the Uchigatana continued, sitting down across from you.
You watched his hand as it ran along the soft fabric of your favorite blanket, worn patches showing its age. You nodded in reply, turning the page.
“Hmm…what are you reading about?”
“…Uhm,” you searched your memories, piecing together an appropriate synopsis, “It’s about a girl who was forced to leave her home and became a warrior.”
You peeked over the edge of the pages, Kashuu’s eyes trained on you in the soft light of the floor lamp. Something was different about his gaze tonight, however, and you found yourself staring back at him as you closed the book.
…His eyes really were a lovely shade of crimson.
“I asked if you were feeling alright. Guess you just answered my question…”
Your eyes trailed down from his face, noticing his hand pulling something from his yukata. That paper looked familiar… You froze, feeling your breath grow sharp in your throat.
“W-where did you get that?”
Kashuu watched you intently, his expression saying many things, all of which were eerily accurate.
“Aruji…” the Uchigatana paused for a long moment, taking his time to unfold the damaged paper–almost as if doing so too quickly would cause unseen damage, “Can we talk about this?”
You swallowed, feeling your lips quiver. Pressing them together, you pleaded in silence for them to cease their anxious movements. He looked back up at you, his own lips drawn back in a frown.
“…Are you…upset with me?” you mumbled, staring down at your hands clasped tightly in your lap.
“Worried is more like it,” Kashuu swiftly replied, scooting forward until your knees nearly touched.
You felt your breath still as his hands envelop yours. You glanced to your right, seeing your note laying face up next to the Uchigatana’s leg. Those words… They burned like fire, like acid in your veins! They–
“Oi, Aruji! Talk to me, please!”
You snapped back to reality, Kashuu’s thumb wiping away a hot tear from your cheek. You pulled your eyes from the letter and met his gaze once again, allowing yourself to swim in their warm depths.
“I feel useless, Kashuu!”
Your hand flew to your mouth, covering it as you pulled away from him.
“I-I didn’t mean to yell, I–”
“You’re not useless,” Kashuu interrupted, pulling you close again without hesitation, “There’s no way someone like you could ever be that way.”