Some people may not understand this, but hook ups aren't just about sex. You go on dates, you talk, you drink, you make out in the parking lot, you go to his sad-looking apartment, you fuck, you cuddle, you talk again, you smoke, you drink, and then you sleep some more.
You begin to have a hint of who they are. You begin to peek through their human aspects—their favorite songs, the films that made them cry, their opinions on politics, the most random ideas popping in their head, their scent, the taste of their lips, and the ways they fall asleep and look vulnerable. You feel as though you deeply know them, when in reality, they are only strangers with names and faces that somehow became familiar to you.
You see, it's so easy to fall in love with them. But you don't. In the morning, you'll casually pick up your dress, bid each other goodbye, and go on with your life as though you two never met.
It has always been the question, how can people share intimacy with strangers?
Maybe because it’s never a genuine connection that you feel, but maybe it’s seeing them that touches your heart and reminds you of a part of yourself that you lost-- a kind of nostalgic yearning for an unidentifiable want.
Maybe you didn't want the sex. You wanted the escape.
Maybe it’s looking through their eyes that you see a sad reflection of yourself, not theirs.
We often attempt to relieve our loneliness with the illusions of security that temporary meaningless relationships give us, and we unknowingly set ourselves up for the trap of believing that, in the end, we could win back our souls.
::messypens
