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[krisscrossontheclock]

It drives me up the wall to hear people constantly cite intersectionality of all things when arguing against the concept of transandrophobia. They insist that ‘man’ is an identity that is only ever capable of doing harm, never receiving it (and sometimes even shielding you from any other oppression you might face). To many, you simply cannot be a man without also being a misogynist. Those terms are synonymous. They flatten every unique experience of manhood into one theoretical patriarchal ideal and judge us based on that, completely ignoring any other intersection that might exist that keeps us from wanting or or being able to achieve whatever magical Male Privilege they insist we get automatically upon coming out. Completely ignoring different, kinder ideals of masculinity many masculine aligned queer people actively work on creating and embodying (which are not respected under the Patriarchy). Completely ignoring nonbinary, GNC, or multigendered people (who are not respected under the Patriarchy). Completely ignoring anyone not cis-passing 24/7 (who are not believed or respected under the Patriarchy). Completely ignoring even those passing people’s past life history (which you have to compartmentalize because you’re a Man now. You can never acknowledge the misogyny that’s scarred you. Never acknowledge your childhood).

I cannot express this strongly enough. This is Gender Essentialism. This is Radical Feminism. This is “Boys will be boys, so there’s nothing to be done about their shitty behavior.” This is the exact rhetoric that TERFs use to justify their hate of trans women. But it’s okay to say to trans men, I guess. Because they are men. They’re admitting to it. Embracing it.

This is the opposite of seeing us as full, diverse, multidimensional people. A problem that intersectionality was made to address. Intersectionality is not an addition problem. It’s multivariable calculus. We’re all complicated knots of identities and experiences that refuse to untangle. That’s the point. You cannot distill people down to a single trait. We are all uniquely privileged and oppressed in different, weird, sometimes contradictory ways because of a huge and diverse number of traits that all overlap and interact. Those traits are never one size fits all with objective oppressions and privileges that will hold true in every context, every time, for every person, in every group of people.

These people pigeonhole and accuse us of the worst possible stereotype of the cis patriarchy and apply it equally to every man, no matter their situation. Blame us for the violence we have a firsthand experience with and wouldn’t wish on anyone else. “All men are misogynistic. Trans men are uniquely capable of and culpable for it because they chose it. Get the fuck over yourself. Nobody hates you because you’re a man.” (What then, pray tell, are you doing then?!?? Why exactly do you hate us...?) “Anyway, all men should [REDACTED], yes, even and ESPECIALLY you.” This rhetoric has just become a more acceptable way to ostracize and other us from our own community. To push us into isolating ourselves, into saying or doing something drastic to prove their point. We become an acceptable target when they paint us like this, because… are we really that different than a cis man? Than the worse conceivable type of cis man? (Notice, recently they’ve been accusing us of unilaterally being rapists or rapists to be.)

….Y’all do know that people are different from each other, right? Do you sincerely believe in every negative stereotype of every possible group? Especially marginalized ones? Do you believe groups of people with one (1) trait in common are monoliths?

A trans man’s / mascs' ‘maleness’ is often inextricably tied up in their ‘transness.’ Male privilege is not impossible or even improbable in certain scenarios, but it is not easy to achieve, and it does not apply to every situation. Are you binary and want to pass in the first place? Are you passing and closeted? Do you have a respectful community if you’re out? Are you rich enough to afford surgery and recovery time off? Lucky enough to live in the right country, state, or city? Never have to prove your identity and every name change you’re ever had? Never have to go to the hospital for cancer screenings, or god forbid reproductive care? If your answer to any of these questions is no, then you will automatically have a harder time being taken seriously as a man. You will have a different relationship with maleness than a cis man. Because that’s how intersections work.

Assuming that every man’s relationship with / proximity to / privileges acquired from maleness are identical is an absolutely bonkers idea to me. Because that’s simply not how people work. It’s a refusal to step into another’s shoes and see things from their perspective. A refusal to listen and learn and sympathize.

Besides. Singling out an already marginalized group of people with one trait in common and constantly poking, prodding, arguing, insulting, misunderstanding, throwing slurs and excluding us from any conversation about our own lives is something fucking bigots do.

Listen to us when we bring up our issues. Allow us to build language and community so we can effectively communicate these ideas. Do not hate indiscriminately. Love your siblings before it’s too late.