This post is fukking retarded. Change my mind. Or do not. I do not care.
Two films smoosh together to become one as their disparate levels of plausibility and hardness of sci-fi against one another. The phrase "reverse the polarity" is used in the same story where a (very simple) explanation of Bose-Einstein condensate is given. They are trying to cater to both genius and moron. And then these desperate soldiers with almost no equipment somehow reverse engineer energy weapons from parts lying around an abandoned factory. I guess their science officer is actually Tony Stark. Or not.
I once heard a... person... suggest the idea of inserting one's cranium into one's anus and rolling down a hill. Talk about a missed opportunity in the film Hancock.
A dog licked Bob Saget's balls. Bob Saget alleges that this dog was legally his, but other sources claim this dog was a stray. The theory that this dog was a stray was given further credence when Saget adopted a cat, who also proceeded to lick his balls. Hey, some people have weird fetishes, and consent can be implied through the canid and felid having initiated the act.
I hate white people. Given how white I am to the eye, you might think this a contradiction. The truth is that after learning of all the legislative malarkey that goes on in America, I fail to see how I can not hate white people. All they do is sit around and pick their noses all day. As opposed to Mexican (ancestry) and part Chinese people, who make some of the greatest comedies history has provided. Then again, poor white people are a two-sided coin. They never know whom they should be angry at, but they can be the funniest people on this planet.
The scientific community was embarrassed today when further research and photography believed to be a star some fifty light years from Earth was in fact a giant mooning the men in the observatory. Scientists are now searching for an explanation as to how the giant was able to time the gesture so that the telescopists would be looking exactly fifty years from then. The discovery creates all manner of new possibilities regarding colonoscopies.
When asked about their failure to release a good album in twenty years, My Dying Bride commented that they had gotten so used to simple chord progressions that involved no challenge whatsoever that they did not think anyone else would notice. Meanwhile, the latest pop/pushed by corporate internet star has gotten famous with an album full of the sounds of her puking into a sweaty gym sock. Executives everywhere, deprived of models or unpaid interns, have resorted to sniffing cocaine off one another's cocks.
Turkeys.












