collection.bin

resource sideblog.

[ks0urced]

book meme :// the death of vivek oji by akwaeke emezi ( lightly edited to fit structure; change pronouns as necessary. )

why must you try and spoil everything?

i would do anything, give anything, just to see you like that one more time.

a thing cannot be in two places at once.

just pretend i’m not there.

i’m not what anyone thinks i am.

if nobody sees you, are you still there?

everything tastes like nothing.

i want to tell you to stop looking.

i felt heavy my whole life.

i couldn’t figure out if something was wrong with me or if this was just my life -- if this was just how people felt. 

some people can't see softness without wanting to hurt it.

everyone is talking about you. they’re saying you’ve gone mad.

i’m angry with you because you abandoned me, you know? you just threw me away.

i can’t do anything.

hold my life for me.

alone is a feeling you can get used to, and it's hard to believe in a better alternative.

you know what’s been happening inside your head. you’re the only person that knows.

everything feels so strange now.

we failed, don’t you see?

time has stopped meaning what it used to.

[ks0urced]

book meme :// white is for witching by helen oyeyemi ( lightly edited to fit structure; change pronouns as necessary. )

you’ve done too much now. i can’t trust you any more.

i conjure you.

what else is real about you?

why do people go to these places, these places that are not for them?

black wells yield only black water.

are you now resentful?

there is another shelter inside the house.

i don’t need you to be strong. i need you to crack a little now.

i suppose i am frightening.

so i have done you good, and now, some harm.

things appear as they really are. people appear as they really are.

this house is bigger than you know.

did you choose to be good, or were you so created?

i chose to be created.

i am only tangible when you don’t look.

easy to see the solution when you’re not in the story, isn’t it?

i know of witches who whistle at different pitches, calling things who don’t have names.

it’s like there’s an extra window, an extra room i haven’t seen before.

maybe “i don’t believe in you” is the cruelest way to kill a monster.

please tell me a story about someone who gets away.

i’m not sure what’s really meant by happy or good. i would like them to be free.

all monsters deserve to die.

how is consumption managed?

everything you have i will turn against you. i’ll turn sugar bitter for you.

it seems to me that the dead only return for love or revenge.

no one likes being sick.

i think i am a monster.

there is absolutely no one even a bit like you anywhere else.

there’s something wrong with this house, isn’t there?

i’m trying to think of next year and there is no place for me in it.

what happened that night?

madness is present when everything you see and hear takes on an equal significance.

[ks0urced]

book meme :// i’m thinking of ending things by iain reid ( lightly edited to fit structure; change pronouns as necessary. )

maybe this is how it was always going to end.

sometimes a thought is closer to truth, to reality, than an action. you can say anything, you can do anything, but you can’t fake a thought.

it’s one of those terrible things, but unfortunately it’s very real.

i’m scared. i feel a little crazy. i’m not lucid.

i just feel a little more on edge than i usually am.

all relationships have secrets, though, don’t you think? even in lifelong

relationships, and fifty-year marriages, there are secrets.

maybe we’re not supposed to know all the answers. questions are good. they’re better than answers.

i’ll tell you a story. a true one. one you’ve never heard.

pretty much all memory is fiction and heavily edited.

i want to understand myself and recognize how others see me. i want to be comfortable being myself.

i think what i want is for someone to know me. really know me. know me better than anyone else and maybe even me.

we get sick and better, or sick and worse. we don’t know when, or how, or why. we just carry on.

you also know things are real when they can be lost.

it didn’t have to happen this way.

i just wasn’t sure if you were all right. you were trembling.

families have quirks. all of them.

who are you scared for?

are you sure there was someone there?

vulnerability makes us lose our ability to think straight.

if i could work mostly alone, and was

still living alone, things would be easier. everything would be a little more natural.

i can’t have everything.

we’re never inside someone else’s head. we can never really know someone else’s thoughts.

there’s a perception that fear and terror and dread are fleeting. that they hit hard and fast when they do, but they don’t last. it’s not true.

when you become aware of your heart, you want it to stop beating. you need a break from the constant rhythm, a rest. we all need a rest.

there’s grace in doing the right thing, in making a human decision.

are you good? are you?

what are you waiting for?

people talk about the ability to endure. to endure anything and everything,

to keep going, to be strong. but you can do that only if you’re not alone.

what do we do when we’re always alone? when there’s no one else, ever?

it’s not that i can’t accept and acknowledge love, and empathy, not that i can’t experience it. but with whom?

i’m sorry for everything.

you can do this. you can help me now.

i think you better sit down.

[ks0urced]

book meme :// the city in the middle of the night by charlie jane anders ( lightly edited to fit structure; change pronouns as necessary. )

i used to imagine that in the darkness, i could change shape.

that’s what history is -- the process for turning idiots into revolutionaries.

i don’t think of myself as special. i think of myself as invisible.

i want to keep surprising them all, until they die of surprise.

every time i think i know what’s wrong with me, i find something else.

tell me all about it when you’re yourself again.

you only fantasize about princes when you’ve never seen one.

i’ve lost a lot of people, and i’m very familiar with that thing where the past becomes an optical illusion.

dreams intrude into reality all the time, and you can’t waste your energy getting mad at them.

most people die for stupid reasons. the most anyone can hope for is to make some noise before that happens.

my life feels wrong, but good. maybe that’s the best i can do.

you’re in control. you’re stronger than those monsters.

have you ever had something happen to you that scared you so much you felt like you were going to keep reliving it forever?

i think this town thrives on hate.

i would have broken everything. i would have killed anybody to have you back here with me.

the part that worries me is where you care more about ghosts than the people right in front of you.

whatever comes next, we’re going to demolish it together.

a lot of what people call civilization is just neglect.

time passes, even when you can’t see it, and people keep grudges too long and die too soon.

i don’t know why i deserved to survive.

it’s already decided.

wasn’t like i chose to become a pacifist or anything, just that my body chose that on its own.

of course somebody was bound to try and weaponize you.

people always have brand-new reasons for doing the same thing over and over. i need to see something new.

i can’t stop screaming, after holding it in for so long.

i am so tired of this clumsy human voice. i never even liked talking.

i can finally understand, and be understood.

i wasn’t ready for how much i miss people, after always wishing i could escape from them.

dread lasted longer and went deeper than awe or joy.

i can't stand to think of myself as having a human body, or a voice that could expel sounds human ears could catch and ingest. 

i thought i'd made peace with these memories.

you’re my jinx. i guess i have to find a way to live with you.

to join with others to shape the future is the holiest act.

you were going to make everything better.

i’m still me. i haven’t changed.

[ks0urced]

book meme :// pathologic 2 by ice pick lodge ( lightly edited to fit structure; change pronouns as necessary. )

it might take time to figure out what is happening. but it will all start coming together soon.

you think escaping one's fate is as easy as fleeing one's purpose. 

in any case, it's nice to be home.

a coffin is the best means of transportation in the world. it can get you to unimaginable places.

truth does not do as much good in the world as its counterfeits do evil.

i'm no positivist. there are things in this world beyond our mundane perception. 

hope springs eternal. but the water runs through your fingers. 

i'm the only one alive in this town. 

you know… all saints and magi alike… they only speak of love. love and patience are our most precious gifts. 

my heart aches like it's been pierced with a blunt needle. 

you're so good, but there’s so little of you left. 

the left hand doesn't know what the right's up to. and the right doesn't know the left's secrets. 

i love you all the same. 

the soul is weaker than flesh. it snaps like a matchstick. 

there isn't a single boundary i haven't broken. i've done everything i've ever wanted to. 

i'm overflowing with soul. i have enough to share. 

sometimes i wonder what is beyond wonders. 

tell me what you want and i will tell you who you are. 

there'll never be another thing like it. 

everything good comes in glasses. 

life is a night at the bar. all the wisdom you gain, you pay for in pain. 

i've heard of this "love" thing, all right. never seen it, though. 

if only i could live a year longer -- a whole, endless year.

i haven't slept for three days straight. i don't think i have another one in me. 

do you even know yourself? 

sometimes i imagine that everything is imagination. 

it's all too easy to unravel into shreds and patches. 

i value whispers, waysides, and west winds. 

in a quiet house, you can hear the rats in the walls. 

i was broken upon the wheel of fortune in a dream. 

i keep my world safe. 

being stubborn is not the same as being strong.

when i secluded myself in silence, the world around me got louder. 

whose problem have we become? 

blood is compulsory.

a person is only alive as long as they feel pain.

i’ll never forget you.

all i need is to avoid distraction.

dying just to escape fate. stupid. boring. 

it’s the theater of cruelty.

what was the purpose of my life?

[ks0urced]

book meme :// freshwater by akwaeke emezi  ( lightly edited to fit structure; change pronouns as necessary. )

back then, we were still free.

i was good at other things too - crying, for example, which filled me with purpose.

i had a bad dream.

things had not been easy for me.

there are many ways of breaking a family and isolating a child.

it is not clear how much saving those books were capable of.

sometimes the gods just want to see what you are going to do.

first duty: feed your gods.

here is the empty that follows it all.

i was here. i was everything. i was everywhere.

all i’m saying is it was good to walk in the world.

i’m not ashamed of you. you know i love you.

something wants you back home.

i am not entirely opposed to madness, not when it comes with this kind of clarity.

there are many things i did to protect you and many ways in which i failed.

in many ways, i am not even real. i am not even here.

i made you a promise. i do not make exceptions.

if you ever make me feel stupid for saying this, i will kill you.

it’s just that i don’t want anyone who’s not you.

are you not hungry to go home?

so tell me: why should i spare them?

i didn’t have anyone to hold me and now i don’t have anyone to kill me.

i can see you change. your body language. how you talk. your eyes. you’re not always the same person, are you?

i want you to last forever.

with each morning, i am less afraid.

[ks0urced]

audio meme :// songs for pierre chuvin by the mountain goats ( lightly edited to fit structure; change pronouns as necessary. )

your reputation precedes you.

something must be done here in the heat of the onslaught.

this is just a momentary ripple in the stream.

isn’t it a big improvement on the way things used to be?

we’ll be here on the day it finally burns.

they’ll do what they were going to do anyway.

we will bring memories of these things when we come.

the burden of exile gets easy to bear.

when the hunger turns in on itself, it begins to devour its host.

who do you turn to for help?

who do you love the most?

there’s no good end in view.

i dance in the dark, all alone.

if they come catch me and arrest me, let me be the last one left.

when the hunger’s all that holds you together, who do you want by your side?

notch some wins. take some losses.

how long until the snake devours its tail?

return the peace you took from me.

take note of what will be gone in the blink of an eye.

we’ll see the places where we met to share our secrets again.

i say my prayers to whoever i call out to in the night.

make it through this year if it kills you outright.

i’m headed somewhere better if i have to crawl there on all fours.

[ks0urced]

tv show meme :// mr. robot season 4 ( eps. 7-13 ) / dir. sam esmail ( lightly edited to fit structure; change pronouns as necessary. )

i've been waiting for this moment for a while now.

escape is the only fucking thing we should be thinking about. 

how about we just cut the bullshit and you tell me why I'm here? 

i can't believe you'd come back here to be just as stupid as you were last time.

it's clear you don't wanna force me into this, which means you’ve got to start convincing me.

i'm not someone you push around with a gun. i am the gun. 

behind every great fortune lies a great crime. 

you wanna oink-oink with all the other capitalist pigs? 

that was some cliffhanger shit we were left on. 

it's true. i heard it on a podcast.

destruction can be so productive.

i simply thought this would be the most expeditious way to break our stalemate.

you shouldn't go through this alone.

i see this is causing you a lot of grief. i didn't want that. 

i had to give 'em a bit of a holy show back there.

i don't think you have taken into account the primal forces you are meddling with here.

i'm gonna show him what he did.

so what are you supposed to do? move on without answers, or stay down and drive yourself crazy with questions?

you know, it just occurred to me. we've never gotten drunk together, have we?

if you won't listen to reason, then i'm done.

you think i'm gonna trust you?

you can reset everything and live in the world you deserve, a world without all the pain you're carrying, without your past, without your regrets.

here's the thing. i don't need help right now. you do.

this is not a warning. this is the beginning of the end.

why do we have to cut these things so goddamn close?

i'd rather see you lose than win myself.

i need to see my family.

best bet is to leave with me until this whole thing blows over.

i can't remember the last time i had a good grilled cheese sandwich.

i haven't really slept in five years, save for a few nightmares.

i’m not gonna let you just sit here and wait to die.

there is nothing here for you, but there is still a chance for you out there if you come with me.

any advice for a road trip?

it's like i always say: you’ve got to keep a open mind at every opportunity that comes your way.

for once, i wanna drop the paranoia and just take all this in. just for this moment.

what is it with you and breaking the law? it’s like a fetish.

this isn't what justice is supposed to look like.

till the next episode, then.

all i know is we don't have to run anymore.

when we land, we'll hitch a ride to somewhere else.

you hold on to a lot, and you hold on fucking tight.

they can't handle me.

thank you for never giving up on me.

you know, you really started to grow on me ever since you stopped being such a dickhead.

this is an endless war. at a certain point, we’ve got to move on.

this world around us? i'm tired of it. i’m tired of the pain it causes.

they were just dealt a bad hand by a world unfit for us

i hate people. i'm scared of them. i've been scared of them practically my whole life.

for all the pain i’ve been through, that heals me. maybe not instantly. maybe not even for a long time, but it heals.

i will not give up on this world.

i don't know what the fuck to do.

it's an exciting time in the world.

i'm stuck in a repetitive, boring routine that feels endless.

is this the world i ought so hard for?

nobody is as perfect as they seem.

people are always hiding something: their vulnerabilities, their fears, their shame.

everyone has a monster.

you have to finally let yourself be happy. that's all it takes.

i'm sorry. i think you should look away too.

if you don't want to help me, then get the fuck out of my way.

you just don't want me to be happy, do you?

i've been trying to show you the truth, and you've been resisting.

i don't want to be in this nightmare anymore.

it's my life. it always will be.

please tell me this isn't a dream.

i'm not going anywhere.

it felt like we were finally getting close. i guess i didn't want that to stop.

that was part of the reason why i came back. i wanted to fix things.

this whole time, i thought changing the world was something you did, an act you performed, something you fought for. i don't know if that's true anymore.

maybe the world can't help but change around us.

this only works if you let go too.

[ks0urced]

tv show meme :// mr. robot season 4 ( eps. 1-6 ) / dir. sam esmail ( lightly edited to fit structure; change pronouns as necessary. )

if you're not gonna help me, i'm gonna do it on my own. and there is nothing you can do or say to stop me.

you have to relent.

you obviously don't know me, because if you did, you'd already know i don't give a shit about money.

i was just taking a moment to think about whether or not i give a fuck. i don't.

i need you to stop looking around like you're a coked-up henry hill.

you gonna shoot me in front of all these people?

i am your only way out of this.

most of us consider you a hero for what you did.

this used to be about saving the world. you're making it too personal.

i’m not the one that feels guilty.

don’t think i’m doing this for you, though.

when that cold, brutal reality closes in on us, we're gonna need a friend, and that's still what you are, right?

if i die, this won't be over.

i just didn’t think it would be like this.

something inside you is telling you to stop looking the other way.

i'm worried about what might happen. about the repercussions.

did your expert observation also pick up on that?

you knew i was there and it was okay and everything was real.

make me feel like everything is okay.

the truth is simple. let's give that a shot.

if this is the biggest thing you're ever gonna do, then we're doing it together.

there is no such thing as a coincidence.

i have officially run out of patience.

i just want you to know that I'm finally making some real progress.

what's happening to you?

i should've never opened my door when you came back into town.

okay, i'll come clean. i couldn't help but notice you were stood up.

i guess i just need someone a little more detail-oriented.

i'm not like most people.

letting people in doesn't have to hurt.

letting people in doesn't have to hurt but it can. especially if they're the type of person that doesn't ask, that just forces their way in whether you want them to or not.

this is exactly what we've been waiting for.

i don't want to say i hate you, but i hate you. i hate you so fucking much.

go inside, pay for the gas, and grab a lighter.

haven’t you thought about starting over where no one knows you? reinvent yourself and forget about all the mistakes you made in this life?

you know how sometimes the world just seems like it's kicking you down and you can't get up?

i like how i can control everything.

so why do i bother? i don't know. i'm afraid this time it's different.

you honestly don't care about me, do you?

i guess it felt wrong to leave you.

i think you're the only person i know that actually likes me.

i don't think there's a way out of this for us.

i'm just gonna go for a walk.

it’s cool, dude. we don’t have to talk.

it’s time we talked.

i don't want to lose you again.

you be strange, now, but don't be a stranger, know what I mean?

what you're about to do is crossing a line.

i wonder how many people you've had to hurt to get what you want.

how many people have had to suffer because of you? was it worth it?

you're the worst kind of monster, because you don't even know it.

did you change under pressure, or did this only reveal who you really are?

[ks0urced]

book meme :// dead astronauts by jeff vandermeer ( lightly edited to fit structure; change pronouns/tenses as necessary. )

there will be a terrible price to be paid. but i will pay it.

perhaps one day a certain kind of failure might be enough.

i remember you. you were a dream i had. a dream i made. that’s all you are.

i think you are beautiful.

no one should have to feel responsible for the entire world.

who knows what is truth, and what is story?

i will protect you forever and a day as i am able.

you know me and now i remember me. but i don’t know you.

it doesn’t matter what i would’ve done. only what i did.

what is a person but someone who turned monstrous, anyway? what is a person but a kind of demon?

it’s all right. you already told me what to do.

why should it hurt so much?

maybe i’ve always known you.

in the end, i loved the world, so i remained in the world.

there is nothing i could have told you that would’ve made a difference. nothing at all.

you’re a monster just like the rest of them.

you have to open your heart to as much as you can. as much as you can stand. no matter the cost.

most days, all i have is reality, which is nonsense too.

in truth, some demons were once people who did bad things but knew better. in truth, people were demons when they didn’t know any better.

don’t you want to be revealed?

if the world is to live, we must make better things.

would knowing be too much?

did you ever have a need so great that the vestiges of your mission existed even if you weren’t sure you did?

did you ever believe you were a ghost?

nothing thrives without being broken.

agony repeated so many times is a different kind of suffering.

it could be he liked to hurt me and there was no one to stop him.

how could this not be hell?

i know all the stories are really about me.

i’m out of place. i’m not meant to be here.

i’ve learned to like it here. it’s quiet. i can be alone.

i am worth something. i am not just a monster.

it hurt somewhere so basic, so plain, so laid bare, that i could not hide from it.

my body knew what my mind did not.

i was a mind tumbling end over end until the halt.

was it beautiful?

someday i’ll kill you and that will be beautiful.

in time i escaped, yes. but i wasn’t free.

not being alive is too much to bear.

maybe it was a nightmare or dream. maybe it was just a story.

do you think i could do that?

can you not distinguish truth from fiction? or were you never taught the difference?

killing is easy. i think that’s why people do it so much.

when i’m gone, what will remain?

everything will remain.

in the end, joy cannot fend off evil. joy can only remind you why you fight.

if you change the enemy enough, if you wear them down, perhaps losing is good enough.

do you know me?

oh, my love, what will i do without you?

i will always be there. even before i know you. even after i know you. even then.