I went to see my dad at the Assisted Care Living Center today. It was one of those good days where he recognized that I’m his son. And though we didn’t talk much, as is the norm, it was still good to hold his hand and let him know that I’m there.
He had just finished his lunch and I sat at the table with him. There were other residents at other tables waiting for the staff to move them either to their room or to the music hall where a piano player was hacking away at tunes from days gone by.
I looked across the room and saw her. She was gazing out the window and thinking about who knows what. Bright blue eyes and golden blonde hair, you could see through the wrinkles that she had been a fair woman in days gone by. (It kind of reminded me of one of the principal characters in “The Notebook” for those of you who have seen it.) And I wondered. What kind of life had she led in the past? Had she been married to the love of her life? Was she a former career woman? Did she have children who for one reason or another were unable to visit? What kinds of joys and struggles had she lived through? I wanted to strike up a conversation with her, but when I’m with dad, he’s my focus.
Nursing homes. That’s what they used to call them. More like prisons if you ask me. But todays Assisted Living Centers are so much better than what those were. Although, they still seem to be repositories for leaving parents in care so that your normal life can go on.
When I look across the room at the people that are there, I’m always filled with wonder. Each person is unique and filled with a vast history of circumstances and fullfilment. When they were born, their parents were filled with anticipation about who they would become. They went to school, some to war, others to work, some to raise families. A life full of immense joy. With some an immense pain. Others, an immense heartache. But all within the Fathers unique plan for being here on this earth.
There was another resident there who’s name was Gloria. When I arrived, she was slumped fast asleep in her chair. I’d seen her before. At a previous lunch with dad, she sat across from us and had to be spoon fed. It’s not that she couldn’t feed herself, but she was obstinate about having to be there and didn’t want to be disturbed.
I met a man they called “Coach” today. He sat slumped in his chair, for the most part asleep, as well. He looked up at me, gave me a smile and a wave and went back to sleep.
There was a man named “Bob” who was a bit cantankerous. The staff kept telling him that they were watching him. I heard the alarm buzzer go off several times. You see, on this particular floor, the residents are not allowed to roam about freely out the door. Most of them have Alzheimer’s or other similar malady’s and would wander off if they set their mind to it. Bob wants out! And so he continues to try and exit through the door that can only be unlocked by a passcode.
Sometimes, visiting there is sad. Today there were a goodly amount of visitors, but it isn’t always that way. When I look around the room at those who are nodding off to sleep, others wheelchair bound, others who’s current image is nowhere what they used to be....I’m always amazed and struck with reverence. My dad has lived a WHOLE lot of life, both good and bad. And these folks have as well. I only hope....that if I make it as far as they have.....that I can wear it with honor.,,,just as they have.
