so a big part of evangelion (and a highly misunderstood one) is shinji and asuka’s relationship and how they interact with each other. I’ll be referring only to the TV series and not the rebuilds. I’ll try my best to make this understandable.
keep in note that i will mention some sensitive topics. if you are familiar with evangelion then it shouldn’t be anything new, but keep in mind anyways.
so as obvious as it is both of asuka and shinji have experienced trauma very early on in their lives that cause them to act the way they act. and that cause them to clash, even though they’re so similar. the fact they are teenagers in the series is also important to remember.
im gonna go off my memory and some things i read so my order of events may not be 100% accurate. When asuka first comes in and right off the bat she shows attitude, and is blunt and to the point. Shinji is intimidated by her. Shortly after meeting her he finds out that she is going to live with him at misato’s place. When an angel arrives she is going to fight in unit-02 in Japan for the first time! But, since it gets the upper hand, shinji and asuka have to synchronize and fight together, which isn’t as easy as it seems. They must go through a synchronization phase and have a little less than a week to do so (my favorite episode personally)
So at this point their relationship is just not generally getting along, but they don’t really hate each other. Asuka likes to tease Shinji and he just accepts it because thats just how he is. But something else that happens is telling of shinji’s character. That time they slept together, shinji was restless and… sees asukas cleavage. For some reason, he goes and tries to kiss her until she sleeptalks about her mom and they both turn away. Why does he do this? Because he is too scared to show his affection when she is awake. My interpretation is that his attraction to her is mainly physical but he also sought validation and affection too. This also connects to *that* scene in EoE but I will talk about that later… On Asuka’s end it is true she “likes” him but she is too stubborn to be up front about it. Another thing that happened is that when she asked if they wanted to kiss he didn’t have a reaction and when they did he just stood there. He closets his emotions towards her when she’s right there.
Asuka being someone who always wants to be the best, his stiff reaction to this confuses and frustrates her. I forget if this happened after the “kiss” or not, but Asuka also references the “Impenetrable wall of Jericho”, while slamming her room closed. And well, the wall of Jericho was brought down by the sounds of ritual horns. While this is a weird way of dropping hints… she wanted Shinji to make the first move and talk to her. Yet he never made the effort to speak to her. A.T Fields and Hedgehog’s Dilemma.
We all know Asuka wasn’t loved enough by her mom, who she witnessed commit suicide. Her mom also gave more attention to a doll than her own daughter. Because of this Asuka wants to be the best and be independent so she wouldn’t have to rely on anyone anymore and wouldn’t be second choice to anyone. But deep down, she’s just like Shinji. Deprived of love. Shinji has abandonment issues and is too scared to be close with anyone because he doesn’t want to be hurt, yet he wants to be loved unconditionally. And he doesn’t even understand himself, let alone others.
They cope very differently and clash. I don’t really remember what else significant to their relationship happens in the series so I’m going to move on to talk about EoE.
Beginning with one of the most weirdest, controversial scenes. The hospital scene.
The first scene in EoE is Shinji visiting Asuka. This is already a lot to unpack. Since episode 25 and 26 are in his head sometime during EoE, the events right before he visits the hospital he was forced to kill the only person who has ever shown him genuine love.
These images are from the very first few minutes of the movie before the hospital. As you can see, he is at the same lake he met Kaworu, who comforted him there. After his death, he is at the lake with Misato, telling her about Kaworu. Now he is all alone, nobody to comfort him. He has likely been at the lake the entire night, mentally in the worst spot he could be in. There’s nobody he can turn to anymore. He is scared of Rei III and Misato offered up her body in hopes of making him feel better, which scared and disgusted him too. And after all that time at the lake, he decides to turn to Asuka, who is in a coma. What does this scene say about their relationship?
At the hospital he tries to talk to her, even though he knows that she is comatose. He asks for help.
“Help me Asuka. Please help me. I need you.”
Its pretty uncharacteristic that he tells her that he needs her. He’s always taking orders, doing what other people tell him to do, and now he’s got nobody left and he turns to the very last person he’d ever want help from and starts begging for help. He even asks to be called an idiot like she always calls him. Just so he can get a sense of how things used to be again. And then that one final aggressive shake pushes her over and exposes her breasts. He is very desperate for any type of emotion. And since Asuka is in a coma, the only connection between him and her is his sexual tension. He has never done much of his own free will before does the one thing that comes to mind and thats… you know. It proves that he only saw asuka as an object of physical attraction. And it also shows that yet again, he never tells/shows Asuka how he feels when she is awake. And honestly out of all the messed up things that’s been done in the show, this definitely tops it.
So some stuff happens that I’m not sure what order it is. I’m gonna talk about the the instrumentality stuff next.
If i recall correctly, the part where he chokes Asuka is a instrumentality eva-lore type thing that isn’t really happening but during this scene Gendo’s project has been set in motion already (I think. The only thing I can’t quite understand about EVA is the world lore(T_T)
During this scene, Shinji imagines himself in Misato’s kitchen with Asuka. Him and Asuka argue about why they could never become close. When he grabs her to strangle her I think he does it just to feel something again. He knows that if he hurts someone and they are affected by it and reject him, he is in reality. He only knows rejection because of his abandonment issues. Asuka doesn’t react, and the third impact sequence starts playing. As I’m writing this I’m watching a similar scene where they discuss the same topic, which is kinda confusing but it happens during instrumentality itself when everyone can see everybody’s memories and thoughts. Asuka yells and says “You don’t know anything about me!” And Shinji argues that she never says anything about herself so he’ll never understand her. Rei asks him if he really tried to get to know her. He says he did, but did he really? Asuka tells him she knows all about his “jerk off” fantasies about her and asks him to do it right there, but he doesn’t. He’s afraid and ashamed.
“If I can’t have you all to myself then I don’t want anything from you.”
Asuka admits she does have feelings towards Shinji but asserts herself to be strong so she doesn’t have to appear vulnerable due to feelings such as love. Deep down she wants attention, love, affection…Although I wouldn’t call her feelings love. It’s way more complex. Throughout the series she wants him to pick up the clues but also hates how Shinji reflects everything she hates about herself. By saying what she said above she is willing to forgive him for what happened previously only if he stops looking at her as an object of sexual desire. Yet, he doesn’t take the hint and acts the exact same and blames her for their distance again, saying she (and the other women in his life) are being ambiguous on purpose. They show how important communication is. How their lack of communication ruined the possibility of them having a normal relationship. Shinji says ambiguity causes him pain, but Asuka says the truth hurts even more.
Now going into the final act of this really long analysis. The final beach scene, out of instrumentality.
Shinji rejects instrumentality and washes up on the shore with Asuka. The first thing he does when he sees her is getting up and choking her. He chokes her for the same reason he does the first time he does it, to get some sort of reaction… to confirm everything is real. And because rejection is all he’s been shown.
But she still cares about him. She caresses his face, showing him she does, and it also shows him that acceptance also exists and not only rejection. Asuka stops projecting her own flaws on Shinji. They don’t need to always put themselves through an endless cycle of pain and life is still worth living even with all of it. Delivering the final words of the movie, Asuka says, “How disgusting.” You can also say its her reaction to what happened at the hospital, maybe just everything she just experienced in general. But part of her caressing him is accepting what he did and being willing to move on again. Shinji sobbing on her face is just his reaction… different from his first reaction where he argues back again. She’s real, he’s real. Even after everything she still accepts him. And he probably really needed to cry.
Anyways this was a really big post… whats great about Evangelion is that it got me to write all this about two characters, and I could probably write more (but I’m not since writing this was exhausting)
I hope that if you read this far that you took something from it or enjoyed it🤞 Thank you
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