asshole
Noah Kahan

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Claire Keane
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Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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asshole
   âWeâve only just met, and youâre already using pet names? At least take me on a date first.â Solomon clicked his tongue, as if scolding a child. âHmm, nonetheless, I do believe that you are mistaken. That bastard wizard Howell may think he owns this place, but heâs the one who has to hide from me all the time. Not to mention that he has to get himself so many guard dogs.â He smirked pointedly at Rune for a moment, before craning his neck to get a good look at the work of the Evil.
   Although he was not a good person, in any way at all, Solomon did not like Evils hanging around on his turf. He was a territorial creature, Solomon was, and having other dark creatures meandering about his land was not something he took very kindly to.Â
   Looking down at Rune, Solomon grinned, pulse quickening with the excitement of a fight. The demon eaterâs claws digging into his shoulders seemed not to bother him. Something dark flitted behind his eyes.Â
     âWhy, darling, Iâd love to.â
   âShut up,â Rune hissed. âThis isnât a game, блŃĐŽŃ.â The demon eaterâs lip curled back, revealing their wicked fangs. And then, after leaning forward, they nicked Solomonâs ear with one of them. âIf youâre going to treat it like a game,â they whispered, their voice a low rumble, âI wonât hesitate to kill you and eat you raw.â Rune licked the blood off Solomonâs ear, which then sizzled when it came in contact with the demon eaterâs spit. With a sharp glint in their eye, Rune leaned back, locked eyes with the demon and said, âGot it, rat?â
   The clouds above drifted in front of the sun, and the whole street was bathed in darkness. Solomonâs words echoed through the blackness like a verdict: Slave, slave. Then, they reached Runeâs ears, and pushed a button inside their brain. In the next second, Runeâs hand was wrapped around Solomonâs throat, and the demon was slammed into the ground. âShut the fuck up,â snarled the demon eater. âVermin. Donât. Talk.â
   Runeâs hand, which was now stained an inky black, gave the wormâs throat one last squeeze before retracting. Both of their hands were black now. Their fingers seemed to have turned to knives, while the hands themselves had grown larger. They brushed the ground while the demon eater stood. âGet out of my face,â Rune said to Solomon. âI donât need your help anymore. I didnât ever need your help. I can do this on my own.â
   The Evil turned towards Rune and Solomon. Then, with a devilish grin, it said, âHow quaint! I didnât expect to see two Neutrals today...â The Evil tapped its chin. An idea struck it: âI know! Why donât I make you two dance for me? Yes... thatâll be a good show, haha!â Before anyone could blink, the Evil raised its hands, splayed its fingers, and hushed an incantation. Strings shot out of the creatureâs fingernails. They looked like skinny red missiles while they arced through the air, heading straight for Rune and Solomon.
   The devilish smirk that seemed to be a permanent fixture on Solomonâs face widened to faintly display pointed teeth. With his nose turned up, he caught something on the air: demon eater. It was a familiar scent, one that filled him with a sense of anticipation unlike any other. Not only was it anticipation, however, but excitement, too. He was practically shaking with it.
   Staring straight ahead, high heels clicking against the sidewalk, Solomon moved himself closer and closer to Rune. There was no point in pretending he hadnât noticed them; his least favorite part was always the chase. So, he walked straight up to Rune, one side of his mouth quirking to fully display a fang.
   âGood evening, my dear,â Solomon rumbled, eyeing Rune with interest. âYou must be the new demon eater in town, hm? Maybe I ought to be the one to welcome you. After all, this is my turf.â
   Rune didnât like chatting up their meals for two reasons: one, they hated conversation and two, they hated vermin. Put the two together and Rune was left with nothing more than a nasty pot of pure disgust. âFuck you,â Rune said, because they were a dog without a muzzle, and they were ready to bite. âYou donât own this place, rat. The high wizard Howell does.â
   A strange chill wafted through the air. It brought with it a sense of uncertainty, and filled the street with violence. The first person to throw a punch was a woman in her forties; the chilly spell had drove its teeth into her will and tore it apart, making her nothing more than a puppet to the nameless magic user. However, he did not remain nameless for long, because he soon stepped under the light of a street lamp and said boisterously, âWhat a lovely night for war!â
   Runeâs pulse spiked and they shivered. Then, they turned to Solomon with a carefully encrypted look in their eye. âThe turf war can wait. Thatâs an Evil, in case you didnât know, and heâll do a lot worse to us than he will the fleshlings.â Rune stepped forward and grabbed the demon by the shoulders. âHelp me,â they whispered, âand I wonât kill you.â Their claws sharpened, pierced Solomonâs skin, and drew blood. âDeal?â
@voltsing
   New York City is a pain in the ass, Rune decided. Their eyes strayed to the alley on their left, and then their nose crinkled in disgust. And it smells like ass, too, they added matter-of-factly. A gust of wind flew through the alley, carrying a strange beetle-like thing with it. Rune followed it with their eyes. Once it stopped soaring and started hovering, Rune stuck their nose in the air. âGo away,â they said. âI donât want you here.â
   âShut up,â replied the bug. âThereâs a demon nearby. Keep your head up.â
   Rune, who at once switched attitudes, nodded. Their eyes cast a look down the street, searching for anything out of place. But they saw nothing until quite suddenly, they did; a boy with jet black hair and piercing eyes passed in front of Rune. âFound you,â the demon eater whispered. And then, they thought to themselves, I was wrong--New York City is a gift horse!