A gift for @bit-of-honey!
Memories unwind in spectacular ways, knotting together to create a line of time. An experience within a life. Each unwinding of a memory revealed emotions, feelings, positive and the negative. Getting snagged together as they joined, some long and winding others sharp , or they could be broken and fractured.
Tapping at your conscience.
‘Tap, tap, tap.’
Trying to reveal everything, even those things that had been buried deep inside. Hoping to never see the light of day.
Or it’s the memories that pulsate with life and joy, illuminating each time you remembered such an event, an occasion.
Memories held importance, remembrance and thoughts. They are what creates an individual to what they are, or act. It all decides on if the memories are bright with illuminating colours. Warmth radiating from them, or instead there was no warmth but a cutting edge and a nauseating feeling when the memories would show.
There is never any telling that memories will stay that way, such a bright and intense colour one time could become dull and lifeless. More so, a dull and lifeless memory could spark to life. Melting into different and much brighter colours of the spectrum. Drumming with life to replace the nauseating emotion. It took only one though, or lack of it…
'Tap, tap, tap.’
There was the sound again. Trying to mould itself in your thoughts. But a barrier stood between it. A pulsating light loosing its intensity as it was far too far to grasp. Far too far to see. Only slithers of the memories would appear. Small portions that flicked like a flame. It was like a roll of film from a movie, holes punctured through the tape. Allowing you to only feel or see a tiny fraction.
How could you tell that this is a memory or a simple living dream. Even then if these slithers of memory come to show, interweave itself in your everyday life would it do good? Trying to get you to remember what you cannot. Is it always so good to remember what had been blocked?
It’s not good when the memories blocked are a defence.
A defence to keep those emotions in the shadows.
Those images to be just pure white.
Experiences to be nothing but an fictional reality.
Blocking away memories that shocked the system.
Smothered the heart.
It was those memories that pushed forward.
Once they get through,
Will it make or break you?
Would you rather stay in an empty space of white. Daunting and vast. There’s was no dullness or negativity but also no positivity and brightness. Would you try to repainted your life anew, with new memories or will it be from the past memories. The problem is, it could ruin the bright picture with one flick. One simple stroke of the paintbrush.
Just a hair lengths away, skimming the surface you could feel it- it could be felt and seen. But that was it. Like a whole life beyond the screen of glass waiting to be retold. But it was blurred, missing vital points within the sequence. Hiding faces and names. Covering what needed to be seen to solve the puzzle.
But this puzzle was like no other, it was the task to piece back what was lost. After everything had been taken within a blink of an eye and all memories lost there was a building challenge to put the pieces back in the right places.
And yet, the outcome could be something that you had dreaded most. But there was no turning back.
Blinking blearily, vision blurred as they could only decipher white around them. A beeping sound then appeared right next to them. Vermillion hues glanced to the side, straining to see a small monitor which beeped each time he took a breathe. Thrumming in a stable sound. Moving his still blurred gaze he inspected his wrist which had a band on it. Reading:
'Hìragi, Kureto.’
“…” So that was his name, how could he not remember his own name? Kureto. But as he searched through his aching brain there was nothing..it felt empty and hollow. Nothing but his name popped up as he tried to remember anything but that. What had happened?
Hearing footsteps a slither of purple came into his view, finally he felt something seeing a colour such as purple got rid of the sense of loneliness but still the aching feeling had not left his mind. But as soon as his eyes fixated on the person who had situated the self next to him that purple tint in his eyes disappeared. Kureto swore he could hear a faint whisper. What he was meant to hear- what he had to hear.
“You’re an reckless idiot, you’re glad you are not dead.” Tone a gruff but yet even from the whispers there was a soft undertone. A voice which sounded so familiar but vague at the same time. Caring and worry. Kureto even felt the words he would say on the tip of his tongue.
“Aha, don’t be like that. I am alive aren’t I?” He sounded carefree and unguarded. Which was unusual as Kureto always saw himself as anything but that.
“barely! I was worried about you, you ass!” Even with being yelled at Kureto recalled feeling warmth build in his chest hearing that this person had worried.
It was like a script, acted out in a movie like a scene. But Kureto felt blindfolded only being able to hear the whispers of the voice and hearing his own in turn. It was like a dream which leaked into the reality he lived in. But it felt calming and natural, even if it was nothing of the reality- or was it? It felt as it had happened but could not recall when. Or who.
Snapped from his seeming trance , which he couldn’t even recall if it was a trance or not. Replacing the brilliant purple and the whispers was a blue, an ice blue. A contrast to the warmth which he had received. Whispers became a loud voice, as he payed attention to the new person.
“Aha~ you’re back from the dead eh?” White hair, sharp sapphire eyes. Grinning widely as their tone was that of carefree but did not hold concern. Unlike…
But bags were prominent under their eyes - his eyes. Skin a paler than Kureto would of thought would be his real skin tone.
“You may still be under the drugs given, But I’m Shinya you’re adopted brother”
Huh? Adopted brother. Now that he mentioned that Kureto seemed to remember the particular annoying individual. Drugs? That could explain where he was. Which his mind supplied helpfully a hospital. Sitting up on the bed vermillion hues flicked back to the grinning male.
“…Shinya. When am I too leave?” Something burned in his mind to leave this place. He was unsure why but he needed to go somewhere, somewhere specific.
Shinya seemed to need time to register what was said as he blinked a few times.
“The doctor’s never specified but-”
Kureto didn’t need to hear anything more. Standing up as he ignored the strain on his muscles or the scar that ran down his chest..
“Then I will take my leave. I will call you if I need any service.” Tone a cold and serious.
“I don’t think you should.” Why was that? Kureto did not care or wanted to find out he wanted..to find that colour again, purple. Which stopped the aching. Grabbing clothes from the bed he was in. Folded and clean. Ignoring Shinya as he walked into the bathroom suite and changed. That scar again..running down his chest, stitches still being visible so it was fairly new. What happened?
Sighing heavily as he regarded his appearance, scruffier than he would think he would ever allow himself to look like. Normal, chopped black hair was not as neat.
“….”
Staring at himself something was missing, feeling hollow as he could only see himself in the reflection. Tired and no longer whole..but what.
Discharging himself from the hospital he noted he had the power to use his intimidating name to his advantages. Feeling the crisp air hitting his face he inhaled heavily , regarding the sky with an almost bored gaze. It was just colours of blue and yellow. Still no purple..not even a hint. Oddly that seemed to upset Kureto as he moved his gaze forward to the city ahead of him. Beginning to walk from the hospital. On a search, a meaning.
Shoving his hands in his pocket a sense of confusion overwhelmed him as he felt along the edges of an object. Taking it out of his pocket he regarded the item with calculation. It was a simple metal design that clicked onto a set of eyes that said the words, 'forever’ on. Nothing else..
Turning the object on the other side he ran a thumb against the metal. Shocked to see a tint of purple appearing on its surface. There it was again, that warmth.
“Forever…” Muttering to himself as he looked up, still holding the object in his hand.
Strangely it made a slight smile to appear on his face but his heart clenched. What did this mean?
Staring intently forward Kureto resisted a gasp as the purple tone on the charm weaved into the sky, a direction..weaving elsewhere as Kureto couldn’t help but follow curiosity getting the better off him.
Stopping as the purple seemed to become brighter as he focused what was in front of him. A shop, normal looking as it held items being displayed at the window. Everything seemed normal as he regarded the shop but once he looked inwards the setting changed..or was it just him.
Kureto could see himself, it was a fainter version of him. But him all the same, same stature, eye colour and emotion displayed on his face. It felt as if what that version of him was experiencing had been passed on to him now as he felt the warmth appear once more and the need to smile.
Even with the window between the inside and outside Kureto already knew what that silhouette was going to say.
“Alright, now we are here what do you want?” Who was he addressing this too, there was an odd feeling that there was someone yet he couldn’t see them.
Those same purple strands that had guided him here appeared and floated around the fainter version of Kureto.
“This was your stupid idea! Stop looking so disinterested.” That voice. It was back again, gruff but soft in its own way. Cold but warm that could only melt Kureto’s frozen heart. But still he couldn’t see who this voice belonged too. But as soon as he saw a different person come into view the image seemed to blur. But the voice was the same.
“Haha, okay okay let’s get what you suggested.”
What you suggested? Kureto took a step closer to the shop. It sounded as if this person was like a lover..so why couldn’t he remember them?
“Hmph, finally you seem to listen to reason.” The tone of voice sounded triumphant which caused Kureto to chuckle both then and now. What was this feeling.
Unconsciously, the obsidian haired male placed a hand on the glass which separated himself from the inside and the fleeting image. That played as he was the spectator of a show. But knew each word and line of the play. Ebony. A new colour appeared in his vision, an ebony colour that contrasted the intense purple. A combination that he seemed to like.
Still he watched, the exchange off..a hug. Kureto felt it as his body warmed but the person was still not shown. It was like their face were blocked and forced to forget. But the feeling would never disappear. Kureto watched them as they hugged with genuine affection, there was no secret as finally the object had been brought. Squinting closer the fainter version of himself lifted up what they had brought. This being exactly the same object which was in his own hand at the very moment…
Is this where he brought this? For what reason exactly?
What did 'forever’ mean.
But as soon as the image had appeared, the dancing of silhouettes did they disappear the second time he had blinked. Revealing the empty spaces in the shop. Colour of purple and ebony had also disappeared as it was replaced with the overbearing colours of gold and yellow in the shop. A smile tugged up on his lips, more remorseful and remembrance than happy. Why was this? He couldn’t remember this happening yet he felt the emotions and listened to every word. Like it was a recording not a dream.
“Excuse me,” Finally Kureto snapped his gaze from the interior of the shop. Seeing a middle aged female regard him with a tender, welcoming look. It stirred something in Kureto’s chest seeing that expression. Remembering that once someone had that same exact look on special occasions . Treasured for only himself. It was a truly rare but beautiful treasure. But now it was lost at sea.
“Yes?” Questioning what the female may want Kureto stared at her.
“I don’t mean to interrupt but you seemed lost and almost reminiscing when you looked inside this shop.” Oh, he was? Maybe he was lost, he had no specific direction in where he wanted to go but reminiscing? Wasn’t this a dream not a memory he was experiencing.
Removing his hand from the glass Kureto shook his head. “Thank you for your concern. I was thinking, but I should be going.” Now he nodded his head as he turned fully towards the female.
“Ah yes, if that is all. Have a good day.”
“Before I go, what is this shop for again? I think I purchased an item from here.” Extending the arm with the metallic object he allowed the women to look at it.
She seemed pleased as a hum passed her throat.
“We mainly sell items for couples. You seem to be a lucky man being given 'forever.’ It means through everything that comes your eye. Both of you will stay together. Forever.”
Both? Couple. Kureto nodded his head and placed the item back in his pocket.
“A confirmation of staying together..through it all. Well, thank you.” Leaving quickly Kureto now had millions of questions running in his mind at once. He had a partner? For certain if what the lady said was true. But who, why would he forget this person. Such an important…
Nausea seemed to hit him like a train the second he tried to think too much of the purple and black colours. Feeling bile rise in his throat as his head pulsated. Thumping loudly.
'Tap, tap, tap.’
Something was trying to get through but couldn’t. A slither which tried to make itself known. Only associating colours purple and black with warmth but now it was nauseating. Trying to remember, desperately.
It’s not good when the memories blocked are a defence.
A defence to keep those emotions in the shadows.
Those images to be just pure white.
Experiences to be nothing but an fictional reality.
Blocking away memories that shocked the system.
Smothered the heart.
It was those memories that pushed forward.
Once they get through,
Will it make or break you?
Tripping over his feet Kureto moved to another part of the city, he had no thought where he was going. Or why, it was like his feet was taking him on their own. Stopping once more as he heard something . Music? Staring upwards as music filtered through the air coming from a balcony. It belonged to a restaurant of some sorts. It felt oddly reassuring as he found himself humming the tune. It felt familiar as the sickness was replaced with content as yet again the streaks of purple appeared in his vermillion gaze. Twisting along with the rhythm as it surrounded him. Beckoning him forward. Trying to grasp the purple strands as he was pulled forward he couldn’t seem to reach but they still seemed to close.
When he was inside a sense of familiarly hit him, smells, sounds and voices evaded his senses as he stared forwards. Tables lined neatly in the middle as balconies ran along the walls. The interior was rich in colour from golds, reds to oranges and pinks. Each table decorated by a vase of flowers and by the looks of it expensive cutlery and finishing touches such as candles in the centre. Staring in front once more it was like a cycle, as soon as he saw purple images would appear although faint. Whispers would be heard but sound as if he was really there. What did this mean?
This time everything burst alight, music sounded louder as he heard chattering but in the centre of it all was more prominent images. It was still blurred though, but this time it felt as if the roll of film stuck itself together. Connecting the pieces but yet revealed no name.
At the table sat Kureto once more, gazing at the person who was opposite with a sense of fondness in his eyes. Clearing his throat as he put down his fork after he finished his dessert. Wearing a black suit and a black tie to match, tight but comfortable with matching tailored trousers and polished shoes. Cropped black hair done neatly. Extending an hand to take the hand of the other person’s. Running his thumb across their knuckles in a sense of affection. A quip of a smile on his lips.
“How’s the dinner, has it met your expectations.” There was a slight tease in his voice.
This time the second individual could be seen, or just enough to see the striking intense gaze of..purple. Sharp but at this moment it softened looking lighter as they stared at vermillion. Waves of ebony locks reaching to their neck and curling at the end, a quiet life escaping past their lips. It sounded..beautiful a sound that was never heard, but when it was it was breath-taking. Causing Kureto’s heart beat to speed up.
“I’m not that hard to please. But yes, I like this.”
“Then I am glad, this is a special occasion after all.”
“Huh? And why is that. Don’t tell me you actually enjoyed today.”
“Why wouldn’t I? I have had the chance to be with you.”
“don’t say things like that! Tch, so blatantly loud..”
“I’m certain no one heard us, you don’t need to be embarrassed.”
“I’m not embarrassed! Don’t think I am!”
“Okay, calm down let’s not ruin the night out.”
“Fine…so what’s the true reason you have brought me here? It’s so expensive..”
Kureto chuckled at what the other person had said. Expensive? But as always straight to the point. How he liked it off course. But there was hardly anything that he didn’t like about the person next to him. Going into his pocket he grasped a small fabric box. Taking hold of the hand that he was had his own hand on. Getting of his chair as he went to one knee. Kureto liked to do things traditionally. Hence why he had chosen an expensive restaurant to do this. Although he knew that his partner didn’t like things such as this.
Kissing a knuckle , Kureto brought out the black box and opened it with one hand. Staring up at his lover. Vibrant purple. Hues seemed to widen as emotions bombarded his eyes as shock caused him to quieten down.
“We promised each other a promise I myself intend to keep, this is a decision I have been wanting to make a reality for a very long time. Since I had first laid eyes on you. So, would you please allow me to take your hand in marriage. Forever.”
He was given the intended result as he heard a chorus of choked up 'yes’. Admittedly he also felt choked up hearing that it was a yes but he had a tight reign on his emotions.
“Gu-”
As soon as Kureto seemed to his lovers name the image shattered. Becoming nothing but an empty feeling as the same nauseating feeling came back to his system with his throat burning. Eyes clouded over and stung as he felt himself suffocating even when he was in the large room. Beginning to sweat Kureto fled from the room and back outside. Breathing heavily as he felt as if he was too collapse. What was causing this? What was withholding this memory. Why was it being blocked.
'Tap, tap, tap.’
It’s not good when the memories blocked are a defence.
A defence to keep those emotions in the shadows.
Those images to be just pure white.
Experiences to be nothing but an fictional reality.
Blocking away memories that shocked the system.
Smothered the heart.
It was those memories that pushed forward.
Once they get through,
Will it make or break you?
Trying to gather himself up once more he noted that the memories pushing through where appearing more intense before he could only hear the voice and words but now he could see the person- still blurred but there all the same. Kureto recalled that seeing just that figure caused his own heart to speed up and clench tightly. What was this missing piece in his life? But the closer he came with unraveling the truth the more he felt nauseated and hurt to carry on. It was if his body was pushing him away from finding out the truth. But he still ventured on. Kureto couldn’t say why but he felt as if the puzzles pieces would bring themselves together if he carried on. To his house.
It had already turned past midday Kureto inspected as the sun had moved from his right to the left. This was a much longer way to get to his house- which he had a faint memory of where it was but he felt as if he needed to do this. To uncover the truth that knawed at his very soul to find out.
Knocking him from his train of thought a child’s voice sounded through the air as he looked up. A park. Finding himself surrounded by trees that buildings as he then noted around him was a playground. Kids playing carelessly as they chased each other. Faces full of glee and happiness.
“….One day we will get a child,”
Kureto had to turn away in an attempt to locate the person of that voice. Frowning as he saw no one and turned back to the children who played with no concern.
“Hm? Why would you want that? They are hard work.”
“Ah..yes they are. But it’ll be nice..heh, I always wanted to be a parent I suppose..”
Voice a soft, like a feather floating in the sky. Concealed with fondness and genuine want. It was different from the sharp tone Kureto was expecting to hear. It was calm and sincere.
“I never thought of being one, what was you thinking?”
“Oh? Uh..adoption. To adopt a child and give them that second chance in life. Everyone deserves a second chance don’t you think?”
It felt as if the mask that couldn’t be seen had been dropped. Revealing a softer and more truthful person. All stemming from trust.
“If that’s what will make you happy, we will do it.”
Adoption? Was Kureto considering adoption with his lover, why and with who? Growing frustrated Kureto began to walk away . How could he not remember these simple thighs? Something so important what - who has done this to him? Why can’t he remember his life. Where was his lover?
As he continued forward the hint of purple appeared once more, causing his heart to speed up. Following the purple with his gaze as he saw a large tree and a lake circle around it stand. This time he heard children’s voices- but it wasn’t like those he heard in the playground. One sounded like him..
“So this is where you go away from the other children.” Even then Kureto had the air of importance and imposing. But this time he didn’t seem to want to seem threatening as the older version of himself could only see flickers off himself through the constantly moving leaves.
'Yes, problem with that?“ Tone a defensive and sharp. But all the same meek.
"No, but it is different.”
“Well, I’m different so leave me alone.” Tone no longer sharp but more fragile as a sniffle were heard.
“Different is interesting and I like interesting.”
“Huh?..o-oh no one said that before. How can you like different?”
“Everyone the same is boring. That is why you will be by my side.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Anywhere I go you go, forever.”
“Forever?”
“Yes.”
“Forever.”
A first promise. It was the word engraved in the metallic object still in Kureto’s jacket pocket. What was the importance of this one exact word that spurred feelings and emotions deep inside him. Recalling just one world, something so effective against the vermillion eyed male. What was the true importance of this promise? Forever.
This must of been the first time Kureto had met this person. As a child so how come still he could not see or know this person’s true name. Then the puzzle would be solved and maybe he would realise who he is missing and why he feels his heart clench full of emptiness. But the answer still was not solved.
Moving from the tree a low sigh escaped past Kureto’s lips each time the purple had disappeared the dulness reappeared and each time it felt much darker and unwantimg. Where was those vibrant colours he would see with each image or sound he heard. What was his mind stopping him from seeing. From realising the truth.
It’s not good when the memories blocked are a defence.
A defence to keep those emotions in the shadows.
Those images to be just pure white.
Experiences to be nothing but an fictional reality.
Blocking away memories that shocked the system.
Smothered the heart.
It was those memories that pushed forward.
Once they get through,
Will it make or break you?
As soon as he found himself setting foot closer to a recognisable house a stream of purple appeared once again. This time it crackled as if it was electricity. Burning with intensity like a burning fire. Illuminating everything around Kureto in a bath of purple.
Shouting cut through the silence. Belonging to one specific person.
“You’re leaving again!? Just to go get yourself killed once more!” Sharpness and anger cut through in the tone. Like puncture marks with each word uttered- shouting. Distressed being seen as a silhouette appeared outside of the house. Arms up in the air as a sharp glare was directed beneath them.
“Are you stupid!? Or don’t you give a damn about this relationship!”
Shouting did not cease. Only heightening in volume.
Cutting through the air like a knife through cloth.
“I have to do this. It’s my job.” It was.. Kureto’s voice this time. More measured and calm opposite to the yelling. On his back was a large black bag and his car key’s in his other hand. He seemed to be leaving.
“You’re job!? It’s always your job to risk your life and land yourself in a coffin!” Retorting sharply his lover didn’t seem to lower his voice as emotion poured from each and every letter.
“That won’t happen-”
“How do you know that!? You don’t so don’t give me that!-”
“This is what I choose to do! I understand the risks, but this is my choice.” Now Kureto’s tone became higher and louder as he too was shouting.
“Then just leave me alone!? Huh!? B-because it’s fucking hard to keep seeing you leave and never know if you will come back!” Their tone cracking halfway.
Kureto felt a stab at his chest, hearing the desperation in their voice. For something that he was causing? Why would he do it?
“You have to realise that my job entitled putting my life on the line so much as anyone else.” Trying to defuse the situation as Kureto noted that the person came closer to his fainter version. Tears welled up in piercing mauve hues. Threatening to spill. But they seemed to refuse to allow that to happen.
“S-so you rather pick your job over all of this!-” cut off his lovers cheeks were cupped that silenced him. Staring at each other quietly, a silent apology on one side and a question on the other.
Leaning forward Kureto placed a kiss on the other person’s lips. A searing and passionate kiss. Closing his eyes as he put in his emotions and pent up emotions.
Kureto felt it on his own lips, the buzz when skin pressed skin. The warmth it radiated. Emotions it unraveled. Feeling his lover kiss back with just as much passion. Closing their eyes tightly.
Pulling away the passion seemed to linger as Kureto kissed his lovers cheek, pecked their lips, kissed their jawline then their forehead. Turning the passionate Kiss to a more genuine and loving kisses. An apology for each one as his lover became choked up once more as they hugged Kureto tightly.
“Whatever you do..come back safely. Please..”
Kureto heard himself promise that he would come back. That no matter what would happen he would make it back alive.
“Do you promise that..that we will be together forever..”
“I promise, forever. So, please stay safe yourself gur-”
It felt as if he was punched in the gut, thrown out of the memory once more as he clutched the front doorframe tightly. Heaving in shallow breathes as Kureto attempted to concentrate any other than the overwhelming feeling of dread and sickness. Each time the name was so close to be uttered he felt as if his mind simply convulsed and repelled from the name.
No it wasn’t the name, a name would hold no meaning and get his body to react so violently to it. It would hold no significance or meaning and easily being able to be heard and said with little to no thought. No, this was a memory attached to this name. One which his body was frightened would possibly destroy him, but why? Kureto was a logical and strong person. The name it hated was that of a lover? Wasn’t it? Had they had a vicious break up. But even then he would be able to hold himself up. What connected that name to a memory which his mind desperately attempted to shut down. To run from.
But, Kureto was determining it was far too late with hoe far he has got. The defence that his mind attempted to make was slowly breaking away.
'Tap tap tap.’
He heard it. A memory hitting against the barrier and creating cracks to reopen his mind. There was no fight, the battle was already lost as soon as a slighter of a memory got through. Now all what was left was to wait for the onslaught.
It’s not good when the memories blocked are a defence.
A defence to keep those emotions in the shadows.
Those images to be just pure white.
Experiences to be nothing but an fictional reality.
Blocking away memories that shocked the system.
Smothered the heart.
It was those memories that pushed forward.
Once they get through,
Will it make or break you?
Stepping inside the house, empty and cold arms stretched out to run over the walls. Leading himself- or being led deeper into the house. Vermillion gaze sinking in the image of the house inside. It held no colour and it was dull. Different from what he had imaged or may of known it should of been. Pictures that hung on the wall had been covered in shadows as the furniture to emerged into the darkness.
“…”
There was no warmth. There was no sound of a familiar voice- which he seeked.
It seemed dead. Abandoned.
Hands found a light switch as he entered a bedroom, flickering to life the light beamed across the room. Revealing a slither of light but not lifting the aura in any sense. It was too quiet. Something caught his eye, laid neatly on the table. A concealed letter. With the simple words .
'Kureto Hìragi.’
Something settled deep inside him as he gently picked up the letter. Dread. Throat tightening as his mind willed him to put the letter down to forget- but he couldn’t. It was cursive, so familiar..
Unfolding the letter he began to read the contents.
'If you are reading this then it was a success, you are alive. For that I am glad and I apologise for everything…
I couldn’t see you just go..leave this world before ever completing what you wanted..’
What did his lover mean? This was addressed to him..but Kureto was alive wasn’t he?
'You have so much going for you, those ambitions you wanted to accomplish. It always..worried me but you became so invested in them it was brilliant to see.’
'I knew when you left for the last time something was going to happen, I just knew it. But you didn’t believe me and tricked me with those insufferable kisses and smirk…
I wish that was the case but..it wasn’t! I was alerted you had been hurt while on duty. Badly. They said you may not survive the day. It happened so fast..it was like the ceiling collapsed under me. It was suffocating and my heart felt as if it was ripped out.
I thought this was the end, for you that is.’
Shaking Kureto’s eyes welled up as he saw the cursive writing turn shaky. Blotches of dried tears littering the paper as his own eyes welled up. Trying to control his own breathing. A sinking feeling appearing in his chest. Please, no.
'But there was this chance, to let you stay alive. I would be an idiot if I didn’t take it. This is where I apologise as I..I soon after took on a mission. It was- would be my last. I knew that. I had to do it, just as you had to do yours. But my death wouldn’t be in vain, in fact it would make me happy..not because I would leave you but because you would..come back.’
Dropping on the bed attached to the letter was a letter, scanning through the new note with blurred vision Kureto crumpled up the papers. Throwing it to the side as tears began to leave his eyes.
'Patient, Hìragi Kureto. Successful Heart transplant. From donator Hìragi Guren who had been killed on duty. On 4th may, at 5:60 am.’
Blinking away tears he carried on reading- or tried too as his knees fell underneath him.
'I gave you my heart, the one last thing I promised to give. For a chance for you to live I would do that again and again. Please, don’t cry. Remember everything we have done in such a short but wonderful time together. It is hard but you have to reach your ambition. Everybody deserves a second chance don’t they? I wanted to give you just that..’
Gripping tightly where his heart was located on his chest Kureto felt it drumming against his ribs. Searing pain- this wasn’t his heart..this was given.. To him.
Those images- memories those were..his moments with his lover..his first and last moments played in front of him like a film, a heart wrenching classic as the images would fade for one last time.
'I love you, and will always love you. We promised that in marriage and before that correct? Through it all, the good and the bed. The happy and the sad. The fights and kisses. We would be with each other, together. By each other’s side.
For all eternity.
Forever.’
“Forever.” Repeating this phrase once more. This time with a cracked voice. Still shaking like a leaf. Vulnerable. Vermillion hues glazed over as he resisted another wave of tears as he swallowed. It held such a weight. Something so daunting but meaningful. That they put each other to the promise of a forever no matter what. But were was the forever if the other person- his lover was gone..
“Where is the forever now…”
'A hard journey will take you on a new path, a new chapter without me. But we still won’t be apart..remember the good and look forward to the future. But that is also why you are going to have a new addition with you. So you are not fully alone. Please look after him, he does act bratty at times but he’s just hurt and has a big heart.’
Confused Kureto took hold of the last note. Reading through it not once- but twice.
“…Adoption..what you wanted.”
Reading from the note it read:
'Thank you for adopting Amane Yuuichiro, Hìragi Guren and Hìragi Kureto. He shall be with you as quick as possible with the help of Sayuri and Shigure.’
“…..”
Those two females had a familiar ring to them as he recalled who they were. Close friends to his lover. But a son? He was going to be a father…
'I know it’s a big challenge but you like challenges or you would never have chosen myself to be your partner. Please remember this is not the end. It’s a new beginning and a time for you to carry on, please remember that it never ends. I will always love you,
Love from Hìragi Guren.’
Stunned into silence Kureto could only stare at the paper, tears dried up as he had already fallen on his knees. Guren. That was his name. His lover. That was what the purple was..Guren had the most beautiful and memorising eyes. With so much expression. Opposite to his own. Ebony locks as well…
His mind wasn’t pushing away a threat or an enemy. It was trying to protect him from the truth..from the fact that he was far too careless and it resulted into this..
His lover. Selfless. Loving and far to kind for the dark world. Gave up his own life for Kureto..to live a new life. A new chapter, a new page.
Staring up Kureto saw a burst of colour. Purple as it coated him with that last sense of comfort and warmth. Surrounding himself in that one last hug. One last kiss. One last everything ..
“Forever. It was meant to be forever. So forever,
Forever I won’t forget you.
My light, my lover, my life.”
I will do what you have asked off me and see you once again in heaven..
Where it will shine brighter.
Where we can be together, side by side
Forever.
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