ćSteins:gatećThe Void of an Existential Divergence
Does that meanā¦ HeĀ jumped world lines again?
Did Mayuriās death get delayed until now?
At that moment, Mayuriās body suddenly twitched.Like a doll being manipulated by invisible strings, she slowly stood up. The entire process looked like a video that had been frame-skipped, with obvious pauses and unnatural gaps between each movement.
Mayuri straightened her body.Blood was still flowing from the wound on her head, yet she looked at Okabe and smiled with the same expression she always had, as if nothing had happened.
āMayuri?ā¦ā¦ Are you okay?ā
āMayushi is, of courseā¦ā¦ already dead.ā
Mayuri smiled and walked toward Okabe.No.She wasnāt walking.Her legs werenāt moving alternately. It was as if something behind her was pushing her forward.Her posture was nothing like that of a living person.
Okabe wanted to step backward, but his legs wouldnāt move.It was as if his feet had been glued to the floor.He wanted to scream.He wanted to call Kurisuās name.He wanted to call Daruās name.He wanted to call out to anyoneāSomeone, please save him!But inside the lab, there were only him and Mayuri.
Mayuri āwalkedā right in front of Okabe.Then she reached out and tightly grabbed his neck.
āItās all your fault.ā
Mayuri whispered into his ear.
Ahā¦ā¦It hurtsĀ so muchā¦ā¦
āItās all your fault.ā
Her hands tightened even more.Okabeās vision began to darken.
āMaking Mayushiā¦ā¦ experience this again and againā¦ā¦ā
Her voice grew farther and farther away.His consciousness became fragmented as oxygen slowly left his body.
When he realized that, Okabe found himself strangely calm.
His struggling body gradually became still.
Maybe deathā¦ā¦wasnāt as painful as he imagined.
Just let himĀ die like this.
The process of waking up felt like he was slowly floating upward from the depths of the ocean.
Okabe suddenly gasped for air.His breathing was heavy and broken, like an old bellows desperately being pulled apart.The sensation of Mayuriās cold hands around his throat was still there.Instinctively, he reached up and tried to pry them away.But his fingertips only touched his own warm skin and the pulse violently beating beneath it.
Kurisuās voice came from somewhere very close.Okabe slowly raised his head and looked to the left.She was crouching beside the sofa, her eyes filled with worry.Her face was pale.So pale that it reminded him of the time she had collapsed in a pool of blood on the Beta World Line.
"You looked like you were having trouble breathing while you were asleep just now."
Asleep?Was it just a nightmare?
Of course.Mayuri was already dead.
I was the one who gave up on saving her.
"Hey. Okabe, are you really okay? Youāre sweating so much."
"N-no, Iām fine. Just a normal nightmare. Iām going outside for some fresh air."
Okabe rejected Kurisuās concern.His legs trembled slightly as he slowly stood up from the sofa.He grabbed the black suit jacket hanging over the back of the chair and walked toward the door.
"Is that soā¦ā¦? Donāt force yourself."
Kurisu remained standing there.Her gaze fell onto the armrest of the sofa where Okabe had been sitting.
World Line Divergence: 0.571046
This is the world line where Mayuri died.
Originallyā¦ā¦Originally, it should have been her who died.
If she hadnāt gone to the lab that day, Okabe could have gone directly to the Beta World Line.He wouldnāt have had to live every day in such unbearable pain.
Wait.Itās already two in the afternoon.Why hasnāt Okabe come back yet?Kurisu immediately sensed something was wrong.She picked up her phone and called him.
Okabe, answer the phone.Okabeā¦ā¦
The only response was the repeating beeping tone.
"Daru, have you seen Okabe today?"
"Urushibara-san, sorry to bother you. Have you seen Okabe today?"
"Faris, has Okabe come to May Queen today?"
Damn itā¦ā¦Where did he go?Okabeā¦ā¦
Suddenly, the phone rang.Could it be Okabe?
"Hello? Is this Okabe? Where are you?"
But the voice on the other end wasnāt his.
"Yes. May I ask who is calling?"
"Iām an emergency medical responder from XX Hospital. Someone found Mr. Okabe drowning earlier. Fortunately, he was discovered in time."
Okabeā¦ā¦Was he trying to kill himself?ā¦ā¦
The voice on the phone continued.
"The patient is no longer in critical condition, but he still needs to remain hospitalized for observation. If you are available, please come as soon as possibleā¦ā¦"
Kurisu could no longer hear the rest.The phone slipped from her fingers and fell onto the floor with a dull sound.Her body reacted before her mind could.She grabbed her coat and rushed out of the lab.The afternoon sunlight in Akihabara was painfully bright.Every passerby seemed to be laughing at her hesitation.
His condition was strange this morning.
Kurisu gritted her teeth and almost ran toward the subway station.
When Okabe woke up this morning, the look in his eyes wasnāt the flickering madness of the āmad scientistā she knew.Nor was it the dark despair that had consumed him shortly after Mayuriās death.It was something else.A kind of calmnessā¦ā¦The calmness of someone who had already decided to die.
"Just a normal nightmare."
He was lying.She knew that.But she didnāt press him.She thought giving him time alone to process everything was the best way to support him.She thought that if she didnāt touch the wound, it wouldnāt hurt.
But she forgot something.On this world lineā¦ā¦Okabe had already been carrying far too much all by himself.
(This is my first short story, and it's quite brief. The Chinese-to-English translation may not be entirely precise.)
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