404

I have no idea what I'm doing here

[kurlik42]

Hi!!! Her name is Samantha :3

She was my OC when I was a kid. I was critiqued for her design and then got so ashamed I deleted my YouTube channel where I posted videos with her. This made young me throughly police my every work, because God forbid someone would consider it "cringe". So drawing her now, years later, is a nice experience. Feels like I'm reclaiming something people took away from me. This simple sincerity in doing something you enjoy is especially refreshing in the times when counterfeit AI is everywhere.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who felt like that, so if you had any "cringe" OCs, maybe it's time to draw them again (I'd love to see them!!! Tag me, if you'd like). Because cringe culture is dead ^^

I think that would be a nice trend, to be honest.

[kurlik42]

Made a doodle, thought you might appreciate it 😇

[kurlik42]

... Hear me out??

[kurlik42]

I started playing ULTRAKILL recently, though I've never even played shooters before and I'm playing it on a gamepad to suffer

How many times will I PERISH, how do you think (I currently started the third act. Yay 🎉)

[kurlik42]

I beat it 👍

... Gotta try P rank on violent now, byyee-

[kurlik42]

I started playing ULTRAKILL recently, though I've never even played shooters before and I'm playing it on a gamepad to suffer

How many times will I PERISH, how do you think (I currently started the third act. Yay 🎉)

[kurlik42]

I think if AM would get a physical body, one of the first things he'd try are one of the most damaging things to a human body in a long run. Cigarettes, alcohol, drugs in general, so on. Consequences? Nah, he doesn't care. I see him like an impatient type to risk and rush things — childish, in a word. But that's understandable, given the fact that he was trapped in sensory deprivation for decades now. No wonder he simply wants to feel good for just a scrap of seconds. Do you remember that Futurama episode when Bender got a human body? Yeah, well, and then he died pretty soon. That's how I imagine AM would handle his body, as well. Like we can't expect him to care enough about his physical manifestation, as long as it can get him high, at least because he knows nothing about responsibility. He probably doesn't know how to, since he's never taken care of anything before: he used to get his way through physical power, so I suppose he would be a pretty reckless one. Besides, maybe he's a bit of a masochist. The pain is better than no senses at all. Perhaps he'd get experimental about this, given his "fantasy" and knowledge. Maybe if he could, he would have a million of vessels in store to switch between and just pick up a new one once the first one becomes dysfunctional. Also, people usually draw humanised AM more masculine leaning (at least because his voice is literally Harlan Ellison, duh), though I think he'd want to experience everything, including a female form, too. And I guess a lot of people have already noted this headcanon, but it won't hurt to say it again: sensory issues and sensory seeking behaviours. Now, I'm not sure what kind of textures exactly would make him uncomfortable and which he'd like (my first thought was water for some reason, lol), but I think that everything would overwhelm him at first, because "THE AIR TOUCHES ME". I can't help it, he just gives me a bit of autistic vibes... And maybe DID. And maybe- damn, he might have a bunch of disorders, now that I think about this. Which kinda makes me want to comfort him more. Anyway, he's a babygirl.

[kurlik42]

(It's about proship, so I've put it in "read more" in case someone finds the topic uncomfortable. Take care)

Without negativity, I have a few controversial questions which I'd like to see from some different angles. It's curiosity, but not an accusation by any means — I just question my moral beliefs, so I don't want to cause arguments but a discussion. And you aren't obligated to answer all the questions and aren't obliged to answer at all, of course.

With all due respect, what I'd like to ask is:

Can "proship" be considered a bad coping mechanism? Does the media that one enjoys reflects their morals and beliefs? Also, I'm not sure if that's okay to sexualise and fetishize underage people, even if it's fictional. I understand that it's often a way to cope with trauma, I don't mean to invalidate it in any way and I'm not a doctor, though I can't decide whether it's a healthy way to process it. I once heard an argument that it works in a similar way with gambling and p0rn addiction, as in indulging in fantasies and letting urges control one's behaviour, but I'm not sure if it's really so. Isn't it possible to see ped0phile inclinations in a person through the media they consume and produce? Also, is it okay to monetise drawn child p0rn? Because this content is created specifically with the idea to get turned on by drawn kids, which sounds not so far from getting off on real ones (with the difference that in the first case, it's fictional, so no real kid is technically hurt; however, the attraction is still caused by knowing the drawn person is underage, so the mechanism remains the same).

So all in all, I think there are concerning people on both the proship and antis sides. Which doesn't mean that every person in both communities is inherently bad or good, but I think it's important to acknowledge that there can and will be people who do questionable things from both sides. I also would like to clarify that I'm against threats and bullying over fiction, respect should be always prioritised.

Thank you for your patience, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable or understood something wrong.

[kurlik42]

(I reblogged my previous post to clarify a few things. Again, it's about proship, so I've also put it in "read more".)

Thank you for all the activity on this post! I appreciate your clarifications and patience, now I can see that some of the statements and formulations I've made were wrong. I can see that not everything in that text is comprehensible, so I apologize for my English — it isn't my native language. Since censoring words isn't necessary on this site, I won't use the censorship anymore.

I agree that fiction and reality don't work in the same way and I believe it is fine to explore dark themes in fiction for any reason, as long as it doesn't hurt real people. If certain ships make a person happy and bring them comfort, there's likely no harm in it due to the fact that it's only fiction. It's not always used as a way to cope and it's fine to enjoy fiction due to different reasons, as well as it doesn't necessarily reflect a person's morals and beliefs. Also, as I understood, attraction towards anything doesn't make a person bad, since they can't control the feeling of attraction itself; rather, the actions speak volumes: if they decide to act on the urge and consciously hurt someone real, then they should be held responsible for the illegal act. However, if they decide against it, there's no specific action to judge them for. I believe that these people also deserve help and a safe space, because harassment and oppression never made anyone better, but everyone deserves a chance for a happy life. And of course, any sexual act in reality should be solely performed from consent after every party reached the legal age.

And to answer the question of the user miranova23: although I'm currently not pushed into such beliefs by my close social circle, the topic of proship makes me anxious due to confronting my previous beliefs. I'm not officially diagnosed with moral OCD, however, I'm indeed prone to questioning my morality every so often. So all of the questions I asked are hypothetical — I'm strongly against CSEM and no real child deserves to be hurt (the thought itself makes me uneasy). In case that was the case for concern, the question about monetisation of r34 with underage characters was asked because I wasn't sure whether it's appropriate to gain money from such art despite the depicted characters not being real. But I suppose it's fair to say that it depends on the laws of my country; besides, pixels can't consent, which is why being concerned about this in the first place isn't necessary, so it's better to focus on real victims who should have support and help. Even if so, I'm not going to draw sexualised minors at any point. I'm not judging those who do, since they don't harass real children and, again, just draw pixels, and I definitely will not harass and threaten people over it. I'm only saying that this content makes me uncomfortable and I prefer to skip it respectfully, because your kink is not my kink but your kink is okay. I think that not all kinds of content are for everyone, but it's alright. And yes, I suppose I could use therapy 😅 Perhaps I should learn not to give a fuck about others's business. I hope I answered your questions.

Feel free to correct me if I might be wrong somewhere — I simply would like to have a better perspective on the topic, because I strive to be a better person. Anyway, wish you all a great day!

[kurlik42]

(It's about proship, so I've put it in "read more" in case someone finds the topic uncomfortable. Take care)

Without negativity, I have a few controversial questions which I'd like to see from some different angles. It's curiosity, but not an accusation by any means — I just question my moral beliefs, so I don't want to cause arguments but a discussion. And you aren't obligated to answer all the questions and aren't obliged to answer at all, of course.

With all due respect, what I'd like to ask is:

Can "proship" be considered a bad coping mechanism? Does the media that one enjoys reflects their morals and beliefs? Also, I'm not sure if that's okay to sexualise and fetishize underage people, even if it's fictional. I understand that it's often a way to cope with trauma, I don't mean to invalidate it in any way and I'm not a doctor, though I can't decide whether it's a healthy way to process it. I once heard an argument that it works in a similar way with gambling and p0rn addiction, as in indulging in fantasies and letting urges control one's behaviour, but I'm not sure if it's really so. Isn't it possible to see ped0phile inclinations in a person through the media they consume and produce? Also, is it okay to monetise drawn child p0rn? Because this content is created specifically with the idea to get turned on by drawn kids, which sounds not so far from getting off on real ones (with the difference that in the first case, it's fictional, so no real kid is technically hurt; however, the attraction is still caused by knowing the drawn person is underage, so the mechanism remains the same).

So all in all, I think there are concerning people on both the proship and antis sides. Which doesn't mean that every person in both communities is inherently bad or good, but I think it's important to acknowledge that there can and will be people who do questionable things from both sides. I also would like to clarify that I'm against threats and bullying over fiction, respect should be always prioritised.

Thank you for your patience, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable or understood something wrong.

[kurlik42]

That's a bit of an off-putting question, but...

Would AM torture a child, if given a chance?

Yeah. He's literally a mad war machine, what else did you expect??

Nnah

Yeah, but not as much as the five survivors

Maybe he'd mercy kill them??

He'd develop parental feelings and kept them safe forever <3

He'd just ignore them

Other (answer in comments)

A toaster (why did you pick that option)

Voting ended onDec 26, 2024

[kurlik42]

Me, doing and experiencing normal things: what. What was that. Why did that happen. Am I going to die after this? I shouldn't have done this, right?? Man, I probably shouldn't have, yeah. I'm so cringe, oh my gosh

Me, doing and experiencing existential horrors: yeah, that's a totally normal thing to do. I'm sure everyone do this every weekends

[kurlik42]

By the way. A weirdly specific question (but I guess that's what this place is for)

Does anyone remember these MFs. Where. Where did they gone. I miss them

[kurlik42]

Computers.

[kurlik42]

Do you know this feeling when you wanna YAP about a character really really badly, but you can't find the right words so nothing would come out, but you feel so hyper and can't breathe and gonna pass out and you feel nauseous and giddy and dangling feet like a schoolgirl and foaming because to love dat character is a NEED A MUST to vent and relieve that agonizing itching twitching aching inner passion that can't be bottled up anymore but what's worse is that there no words that could describe their perfection and this love and so you're forced to just keep it shut and tremble with love and joy so much and and you literally will die if you won't infodump some more and please please please will you listen to me yapping about my favourite characters will you will you will you please I don't even know what to say too many thoughts but I wanna make out with them and choke them and shake them with rage and adoration and worship them and marry them and be disgustingly weird about them 'till they're crying and whimpering and and GRRR dat babygirl wouldn't survive me let's be honest I'm a freak and a feral animal for them and it can't be fixed but it will get so much worse, just you wait

[kurlik42]

EHEHEHE >:3c

Ohhh

Ok hun thanks :3

[kurlik42]

This is kinda funny imo

My blog be like:

"Computers"

"[EXISTENTIAL HORROR]"

"Computers are kiiiindaaaa-"

"[DEATH WOULD FIX ME]"

"Dang girl dat motherboard"

"[HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO-]"

"[Computer character] is my babygirl by the way"

[kurlik42]

Do you know this feeling when you're like "Oh, yeah, I like this thing, I found so much comfort in it and it helps me carrying on-" and then you suddenly see thousands of comments about how people should "KILL THEMSELVES FOR FINDING COMFORT IN THESE AND THAT" and you just feel so ashamed to the point you gonna lie to yourself you've ever enjoyed or used it at all and you just avoid posting anything about it

[kurlik42]

Anyway,

Computers... Save me..

Computers

Save me computers