KURT HUMMEL IS HERE;

Kurt Hummel. 24. NYC. I'm a recent graduate of Parsons, currently living my dream by working in the fashion industry at the one and only Vogue.com as a section editor. As much as I adore New York, I'm taking the summer to work remotely, spending a few months back in good ol' Lima Hollow with my father, twin brother Atticus, and older brother Mercer.

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@kurt-h uploaded a new photo:

A very happy 21st birthday to this sweet girl (and fashion icon), @charlottewest! So very happy to be your friend after all these years, and so glad to be in town to celebrate such a big moment! Love you always. #littlelottie

[kurt-h-blog1]

TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: are you disgusted by my mouth or blaine anderson's dick i can't tell right now

TIC: #PULL #YOURSELF #TOGETHER

TIC: you look just like me you'll be fine

TIC: he's our father kurt if he can love me through the cornbread scandal of 2009 then i think he can love you through this but i don't know that we should risk it because his heart isn't in the best shape

TIC: and honestly right now after hearing this piece of information i don't think my heart is in the best shape either

KURT: BOTH

KURT: great maybe i'll find my own little blaine anderson one day!!

KURT: we do not talk about the cornbread scandal. it's too soon

KURT: i'm giving one meal to my driver in hopes that he'll give me at least three stars

KURT: ok i'm a block away #bye

[kurt-h-blog1]

TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: kurt unless your uber driver is gay even i can't help your ratings

TIC: ... wait he's got a prius of course he's gay

TIC: alright i'll come out shirtless

TIC: TWO HUNDRED CHICKEN FUCKING NUGGETS? KURT HUMMEL I THOUGHT I WAS THE STUPID ONE

TIC: ALL THAT TIME IN HIGH SCHOOL I SPENT AGONIZING OVER BEING THE DUMB BROTHER AND HATING MYSELF AND ALL THIS TIME IT WAS YOU

TIC: I FEEL FREE

TIC: UNTIL I SHIT MYSELF FROM ALL THIS BAD FOOD IM GOING TO CONSUME

TIC: DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO MAINTAIN THIS FIGURE?

TIC: you need to be nicer to me or else you're going to have to eat all these chicken nuggets on your own i've gotta leave room for the cum i'm planning to guzzle tomorrow night

KURT: i swear im going to kick your ass as soon as i'm finished throwing UP for making me think about your MOUTH being anywhere near blaine anderson's dick oh my god

KURT: I'll eat all 200 nuggets myself i have no hope for love anyway

KURT: i'll be there 5 minutes please don't wake up dad. he can't know about this

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TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: #BEARS #BEATS #BATTLESTARGALLACTICA

TIC: kurt

TIC: how many nuggets did you order

TIC: ... did you get the french fries

TIC: please tell me in your shitty decision making you didn't forget the french fries

TIC: OR MY COCA COLA

TIC: YOUR HONEY MUSTARD NEEDS HIS HONEY MUSTARD KURT

TIC: i swear to god

KURT: oh my god shut fuck UP i have all of it but it's going to take multiple trips

KURT: my uber driver is so mad and there aren't enough cup holders in his PRIUS

KURT: this is going to destroy my rating

KURT: i was trying to order a number 10.. which is the 20 piece

KURT: But I now have 10 number 10s

KURT: She said so many numbers and it was getting so confusing

KURT: we have 200 chicken nuggets and i'm crying how

KURT: is that math right

KURT: you better crutch yourself down the stairs to help me carry this

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TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: #rude #ass #bitch #haverespect

TIC: ... i mean no, i wouldn't say he used THAT word

TIC: why the fuck do you have questions that's all there is to it

TIC: the fuck did you do kurtis hummel

KURT: #live #laugh #love

KURT: that's not all there is to it but i don't want to talk about it rigt now because we have a much bigger problem in MY hands

KURT: I accidentally ordered many more nuggets than i anticipated

KURT: i was wondering why my bill was so high and why the girl was staring at me so viciously

KURT: i thought she was envious of my outfit, because really, i do look great

[kurt-h-blog1]

TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: dON'T YOU HASHTAG ME

TIC: he found me irresistible in high school and then we reconnected and he can do like WAY better than me but he likes me anyway, idk.

TIC: oh

TIC: disappointing

TIC: uhm

TIC: yes

KURT: #too #late #bitch

KURT: irresistible?? he really used that word

KURT: o k we need to talk about this when i'm not intoxicated because i have a lot of questions

KURT: oh no

KURT: red alert

KURT: i made a mistake

KURT: i hope you're really hungry

[kurt-h-blog1]

TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: i don't have the attention span

TIC: ohhhh my god you fucking drama queen you already know blaine and i'm not settled, thank you. i'm lazy. also he's cute. whatever.

TIC: ... better. not as cute as 'babe' tho.

KURT: Yes you do

KURT: Shut the fuck UP So you are seeing Blaine? omg #confirmed

KURT: Lottie told me she was suspicious but I said there was no way. Really??? how does that even happen

KURT: oh my god atticus do you want honey mustard for your CHICKEN NUGGETS

[kurt-h-blog1]

TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: but you deserve it

TIC: we haven't had SEX sex but we've done stuff. but yeah. same dude. i tell you everything.

TIC: pls never call me sweet child again

KURT: So do you

KURT: No you don't!! Yu still have not introduced me to the man who can apparently get my brother to settle down, and like.. rude. You know?

KURT: No.

KURT: honey mustard

KURT: ?

[kurt-h-blog1]

TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: because i am a trash human being and you are amazing and deserve romance

TIC: also i'll have you know that i have only slept with one person since i've been back

TIC: you should have woken me up anyway it's not like i do anything but sleep i'd have come with you

KURT: i dont want it

KURT: wait is this the person you said you turned down sex with because they were nice or something?? or is this someone else? why don't you tell me Anything

KURT: You need to rest, sweet child

[kurt-h-blog1]

TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: you need to not get laid by strangers in bars

TIC: ... why are you by yourself? are you okay? what's wrong? kurt wtf

TIC: thanks boo

KURT: You are the last person who should be saying any of these words to me

KURT: i just wanted to get out of the house and I've never been to any of these bars so I figured why not?

KURT: I was going t ask if you wanted to come but you were sleeping like a little angel and i did not want to wake yu

[kurt-h-blog1]

TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: i love you still

TIC: are you at a bar by yourself? with friends? you're not getting laid, are you?

TIC: wait if you're going to mcdonalds can i also please have chicken nuggets

KURT: I Love you more!!

KURT: so what if i am getting laid?? Am I not allowed?

KURT: I'm just kidding, I'm alone. Like I'm the only person in here and I think the bartender left?

KURT: Yes baby

[kurt-h-blog1]

TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: ... yes

TIC: no? yes? i mean yes, but i don't know how that's relevant here

TIC: if you're at a bar then please don't drive home

KURT: Mean!

KURT: It's always relevant .

KURT: I took an Uber. Did you know there are Ubers here?? In Lima Hollow of all places

KURT: I'll get a nice driver to take me to McDonalds and we'll all get fries

[kurt-h-blog1]

TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: you'll be blacklisted forever

TIC: soon???? where are you????

TIC: alcohol probably. and some french fries.

KURT: Blacklisted from what? You??

KURT: I'm at a bar. Ohio is strange. You know what I mean?

KURT: I can do that. Or, well, I can try. No guarantee that your french fries will make it the whole way home.

[kurt-h-blog1]

TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: really? i have served my country for six years and i have to wiggle around to scratch my own back? man. veterans are treated terribly.

TIC: fine, leave me to my own devices.

KURT: Better call the VA.

KURT: In all seriousness though, I will be home soon. Do you want me to bring you anything?

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TEXT + kurtic.

TIC: are you home

TIC: my back itches ):

KURT: Your back? Really?

KURT: Have you tried wiggling around? Assuming that you're laying down.

[kurt-h-blog1]

puckerguy:

We all think it’s temporary until it’s not, Kurt. I think you’re one of the few that managed to get out. 

Interesting? Nope, I’m still a bartender. But I’m going to school now so that’s a plus, right? How’s NYC been treating you?

There’s still hope for you, Guy. There’s a whole big exciting world out there, just waiting to experience Guy Puckerman.

I don’t know, I think bartending would be a pretty interesting job. I bet you meet all kinds of.. interesting people. That could be either good or bad, though, I suppose.

You’re in school? That’s great! What are you studying? And New York has been fantastic, actually. I managed to snag a pretty great job right after graduation, so I consider myself very lucky.

[kurt-h-blog1]

charlottewest:

Oh, boo. Annoying as in clingy or annoying like a fuckboy? Since I have experiences with both and will always willingly offer my expertise if needed, though I’m sure you handled it flawlessly, as per usual.

Yeah, tell me about it; I’m like the one person my age who doesn’t have a fake. It’s cool, I have some other people offering their opinion, and it’s not like we have a million bars to choose from anyways. We’re just going to hope we don’t run into my brother. Like at all. Since he’d probably be attached to the lips of your brother if my suspicions are correct.

Annoying as in clingy. I couldn’t get through a work day without being flooded with texts, calls, emails. I’d tried talking to him about it, but he didn’t get it, like at all. It was exhausting. It was a shame, really; he looked very well put together, but.. sadly, a few loose screws. I already miss his abs.

I never understood the fake ID thing in a town like this. Everyone knows who you are and it’s impossible to get away with anything. I doubt we’ll see him anywhere. I’m honestly a bit surprised that he’s going out at all, based on how you said he’s been acting lately. What? Atticus? Is this about seeing them at the cookout? I can guarantee that they’re just friends, Lottie. Blaine is 100% not Tic’s type.