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He’s definitely not just kidding around.
Kurt looked down at the spot on his hand where Blaine had kissed him, in utter disbelief. He then looked back up at Blaine whose expression was now more troubled than ever, his eyes directed at the TV screen. Kurt looked at it himself. Silence reigned for what seemed like an eternity.
When it got too much for him to bear, Kurt cracked. “Okay, I… I can’t do this.” He lifted the remote, and pressed the “pause” button. He then turned his entire body, so that he was sitting facing Blaine. “Blaine, I really don’t know what to say,” he hushed his voice, in case his father was listening, “One minute, you’re telling me that I shouldn’t try to pursue you, and the next you’re confessing to me yourself. I just..,” and he trailed off, wanting to say more, but unable to voice any of his conflicted thoughts. Instead, he merely stared at Blaine, searching for an answer, a reaction, anything.
Blaine was quiet. He really had screwed things up. After Jeremiah, and Rachel - Especially after Rachel, he’d tried to get Kurt to stop liking him because, simply put, he’d hated to see the hurt in his eyes after not one, but two let downs. “I- Before, I didn’t want you to fall again, and not be caught, so I pushed you away, Kurt. But that, that was before I realized that I do like you. As more, than a friend.” He buried his face in his hands. “I’m not worth you Kurt, I’m just… not. You’re always so honest, so trusting… With me, things always change, they’re constantly twisting in ways I never thought they ever would.”
“Don’t,” Kurt was shaking, “Just don’t. You’re not ‘worth me’? Blaine, I—,” he swallowed, still desperately trying to think straight, “I’m the one who should be saying things like that. Not you, you’re—” You’re perfect.
Blaine was hurting a lot more than Kurt could’ve ever expected him to. And it was now that Kurt realised that, maybe, he’d been hurting this bad all along. He’d just not wanted to show it, because he was trying to be strong. Strong for Kurt.
He felt sick. He felt upset, and horrifically guilty. But most of all, he’d never felt more on the same emotional wavelength as Blaine as he did now.
Slowly, Kurt got up, and sat back down next to him, folding his hands in his lap. “Remember when I said “it’s just like When Harry Met Sally”…?” He asked, quietly, ”It still is. No matter… what happens, as long as you’re in my life, I’m— I’m always going to want my Billy Crystal.”
He always knows just what to say. To tell the truth, Blaine hadn’t watched “When Harry Met Sally” before Kurt had brought it up in the coffee shop, and on countless other occasions. He’d watched the movie soon afterwards, laughing at how some parts mimicked their friendship so spot-on, and how others made him wonder if this was a good thing, or a bad thing.
“Kurt, you are perfect. Really.” The words sounded six times more terrifying out loud than inside his head. Movies make this look so easy. He gently took Kurt’s hand, lightly tracing circles on the palm. “And anyway,” he grinned, quoting himself, “Don’t they get together in the end?”
Kurt nodded, and looked down at Blaine’s hand. “Yeah,” he said, holding it, “Because they obviously have chemistry.” Watching as his own fingers entwined with Blaine’s, his heart fluttered. “But it takes a while for them both to realize it themselves.”
He looked at Blaine, meeting his eye. He was ridiculously happy, and eager to smile. But at the same time, he was on the edge of tears. “I feel like such an idiot,” he whispered, praying that he wouldn’t cry, “I can’t stop thinking about you. Everything I do— I can’t do it, until I’ve thought about how you’d feel about my doing it. You’re just one person, but you’ve made everything change. You’ve made everything so much better. I-I’ve never felt like this about anyone, Blaine.”
“Don’t let me influence who you are, Kurt,” Blaine clenched his hand, making sure he was listening, “And, this is going to sound so cheesy and terrible, but I think you’re perfect because of your decisions, and how you don’t let anyone change your mind for you. Don’t let me be the exception.” A single, glassy tear rolled down Kurt’s face. Blaine reached forward to wipe it away. He hated seeing Kurt cry, and, at the moment, he realized that he was the reason Kurt was crying. “Please don’t cry.” Unable to take it, he enveloped Kurt in his arms. “Kurt, please don’t cry. I’ve never been so… overcome with love like I am with you. You make me crazy. Irrational, even. Just know that you’re not alone, you’re never alone.”
Kurt lifted a hand to his cheek, attempting to wipe away the collection of tears that were now streaming down his face. “I-I’m sorry,” he whimpered, as Blaine cradled him in his arms, “I d-didn’t want to start crying.” He sniffed, and let out a small laugh. ”I just feel like such a fool.”
As the tears in his eyes dried, he remained still, appreciating the safety of Blaine’s arms. After a few minutes of silence, he began again, “You know, every day, I would see you, and I would want to be with you. But I’d always tell myself that it would never happen. I was just going in circles. I never thought…,” he said, quietly, “I never thought that you would feel the same way about me. I mean, I’m hardly,” he motioned to the TV screen, upon which the frozen Ewan McGregor’s character was sat, gazing at Satine, “Christian Du—whatever his name is.”
“I agree. You’re nothing like Christian. You’re so much more beautiful.” He sat back, gazing at his friend, suddenly speechless. His hair was still perfectly styled, Kurt’s complexion tinged slightly red from his tears, but flawless and pure all the same. After sitting dumbfounded for what seemed like two hours, Blaine stuttered. “Yes, much, much more beautiful.”
Shifting his weight towards Kurt, he started again, “But you’re not just beautiful. You’re not just a genius. You’re not just unbelievably talented. You’re Kurt, and everything you do is amazing.” Kurt begin to argue with this, but Blaine held his finger up to the younger boy’s light-rose lips. “Don’t say anything. You are incredible, and, if you really look through your own mind, you yourself know how stunning you are. Believe it.”
Kurt stared wide-eyed at Blaine. He wanted to to say, “Shut up, it’s not true”, but he could see that Blaine was being genuine, his eyes filled with a sort of desperation Kurt had only seen once before: when Blaine had told him how much he cared about him on Valentine’s Day.
Slowly, he lifted his hand and took hold of Blaine’s wrist, gently pulling Blaine’s hand away from his face. “You’re nothing but a hopeless romantic,” all of a sudden he was quivering, and seemed unable to stop, “but.., “I guess I am, too.” He gave the boy a small smile. “I.. I love you, Blaine.”
Kurt’s hand was ice cold, and shaking violently. Blaine smiled sheepishly, blushing. “Maybe I am…” His words seemed new, seemed different, as if he were hearing his own voice for the first time. Hearing his voice from the outside, rather than in his head. Kurt’s words sent a shiver down his spine, as he touched the hand fixed on his wrist.
His squeezed his eyes shut, opening them softly, to make sure this wasn’t another dream, another image that would disappear in three seconds. “I love you too, Kurt. Really.” Leaning forward slowly, he brushed his lips against Kurt’s, before sitting back, trying to read the expression on his face.
Kurt felt the blood creep up his neck and flush his cheeks. And before he knew it, he was leaning toward Blaine and sharing another kiss with him. His lips moved in harmony with Blaine’s as he felt Blaine’s fingers brush across his cheek, leaving his skin tingling.
Feeling almost breathless, Kurt pulled away from him. He lifted a hand to the back of his head, unable to hide the foolish grin that expressed his euphoria. “I think, maybe, we should finish the movie,” he said, “As tragic as it is, I won’t be satisfied until I’ve seen the reprise of Come What May.”
Blaine blinked his eyes, trying to decide if what had just happened had actually happened. “I agree,” he assured Kurt, before snaking an arm around him to grab the TV remote. Un-pausing the character from their frozen state, he found it funny that they kept moving along with their story, unaware of how many moments had been based upon their plot line.
Blaine thought about everything that Kurt had said, and everything that he had said. He believed both of their words were true, after all, Kurt rarely spoke up if he didn’t mean what he said. His eyes were genuine, and Blaine hoped that his own eyes revealed the same honesty.
Kurt moved closer to Blaine, and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. Before he could let Blaine react, he leant his head on Blaine’s shoulder, and tried his best to become once more engrossed in the film.
But this was proving difficult. He could feel the warmth of Blaine’s body against his own, and it was glorious. His mind was completely caught up in the buzz of the moment, which in turn caused him to devote less concentration on the reprise of Come What May than he had hoped.
He didn’t want the film to end, desperate to preserve the moment for as long as possible. But before he knew it, the credits were rolling, and there was nothing left to watch on the screen but the DVD menu. Unwilling to move from his position, Kurt sighed, inwardly. “Well,” he said, forcing himself away from Blaine’s side to pick up the remote, and eject the disc from the DVD player, “That was glorious. As usual.”
