this side of paradise

kylie collins, xxi, student.veni vidi vici.

[oxsteiner]

won’t feel a thing :

[oxsteiner]

The way she seems to understand—yet not knowing how to express into words—is enough to make him feel a little lighter. Though the guilt inside of him kept growing like it wouldn’t go away that easy this time, there wasn’t much he could do as for now. He knew that pretty well. Oliver nods at her words, feeling her arms embracing him, and hides his face on her neck. There were no words he wanted to say at that exact moment, so he simply keeps nodding and breathing against the skin of her neck, as he scent was calming him down—and kind was. She smelled like… home—like someone who would simply embrace him as she was doing, instead of judge him.

“Thank you,” he mutters, pulling his face away a bit, only to be able to stare at her. Oliver looks into her eyes, his forehead now against hers as his hand cupped her cheek. “Just… Yeah. Maybe.” He sighs at her thought—he doubt Götze wanted to be saved, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try. Knowing him, Nik was probably seeing this coming anyways—Oliver was a ‘stubborn son of a bitch’, that was pretty clear. “I will just wait till I actually come up with a good plan for how to save him.” He says that almost hopeless, but it would be the only kind of saying that would take a bit of his guilt out of him. “Again—thank you.”

As he got back to reality, Steiner noticed that he didn’t want to get away from Kylie—not now, at least. She would be the only one who would actually be some sorta of help, as his own sister would be more like a painful reminder of what he had done in Germany, the reason why his best friend was now an ocean away. “Do you… mind if I stay here tonight?” Asks quietly, sighing tired. “I don’t want to go home… If that’s how I can call that house right now…”

[kvliecollins]

“you know you can always come to me if you need me, anytime” nodding, the girl reassures the other of always having a place to run to— and in this case it would be her “i know it is an almost impossible request, but ollie..” kylie chews on her lower lip, looking at him with her hands covering over his “promise me, ollie that you will walk out of this sadness one day..” a faint smile was misting across her sadness over seeing the other suffer— and also shock at how much that actually she worries about him, and how he feels can affect her so much. 

“yes ofcourse you can stay for the night,” her voice extremely gently whilst holding on to his hand to leads him up to her room, “well, you know this place well enough—” the girl laughs dryly at her not-so-funny comment before plopping on the bed, a sigh of satisfaction comes to her as she stretches after a long day of studying. “right, do you want to watch a movie or something to get your mind off these things? i mean...i got everything ready here” mumbles as her eyes landed on the pile of dvd and the big bowl of popcorn “i think you deserve something to get your mind off all the unhappiness.”

[oxsteiner]

won’t feel a thing :

[oxsteiner]

With the silence between them and not knowing what else to say, Oliver finishes to drink the water slowly and puts the glass on the coffee table. Scratching his forehead, he doesn’t know how to explain, exactly. Kylie knew what happened in Germany, so there isn’t a way to make things awkward between them. It would be, pretty much, telling the whole story this time. He thinks about it for a few seconds while they are still quiet and, once she asks about it, he feels like talking. Steiner sits up and turns to her, his arm on the back of the couch as he rubbed his face and tried to make some sense out of it.

“You remember when I explained why I moved to Chatswin, right?” He asks, now incapable of looking up at her, his eyes staring at his hand playing with hers. “About the criminal situation and all…” Muttering that part, he sighs. “Well, I don’t remember if I mentioned that Niklaus was part of it… Though the whole idea was mine—so I am the one to blame.” Taking a while to continue, Oliver finally looks up at Kylie, looking for any trace of disappointment. “I don’t know exactly why he left—he just said he couldn’t live like this and went to take the blame…” He feels his eyes tearing up with the idea of his best friend suffering the consequences. “I can’t go after him—he knows that, that’s why he left, because he knows I won’t follow, I’m sure… I… I just feel so guilt for this—I will have to go there at some point to try to get him out… When I have any ideas how…” Stops talking, noticing how emotionally he got and frowns. He’s pretty sure he seemed weak—maybe he indeed was.

[kvliecollins]

she glances at the empty cup sitting on the coffee table, her mind still trying to make sense out of all these that has flashed in front of her like a movie— it all sounded so unreal, yet the man next to her serves to remind her once and again of how true this all are, “hey i mean..” gently, the girl places a hand on his cheek, caressing his cheek that seemed a tad too cool. “dont worry, things will be alright— ” she sits back, hands finding its way to his slightly bigger hand and gently warps them around his. kylie was never good at words, but to show him that she will always be here for him is the least she can do for him. 

“i will be here whenever you need me..” she stops, hearing how shaky the other’s voice has became, and the girl swears for herself to hear the pieces of her own heart shattering. “...oliver...” she tightens the hold on his hand, almost feeling frightened at what the departure of nikulas has done to him. “we will go through this together okay, i promise i will always be here” kylie mumbles as she pulls him into her embrace “i know nothing will ever replace his place in your heart, i know, i know...but all we can do right now is to not let that break you down isnt it, i mean nikulas wont be happy to see you like this— and hey! ollie you know he might be waiting for you to go save him” a small smile appears on her face as an idea flashes across her mind “i mean, you studied law!” 

[parise]

Visit Original Link

Boston - Augustana (2005)

She said I think I’ll go to Boston I think I’ll start a new life, I think I’ll start it over, Where no one knows my name

[oxsteiner]

won’t feel a thing :

[oxsteiner]

Oliver doesn’t find words to say anything to her as she opened the door. He shakes his head lightly at the question though, letting a heavy sigh out of his mouth once inside of the warm house. What’s he doing there? Why bother and worry her? But he really couldn’t find answers to those questions. Kylie was the only one he wanted to be around at that very moment and maybe that meant it was his chance of trying to feel a little better.

“No… Don’t worry, I am not that hungry…” Finally finding his voice, he takes a long sip of the water she brought him, then sitting on the couch beside her. “I am sorry for coming without saying anything—it’s just… I really had nowhere else to go.” Again, that feeling inside of his chest was making things harder. It was like there was something missing and he knew very well what’s that. Not to say, the whole guilt he couldn’t help on feeling. “I just don’t feel like going home now that…” Oliver pauses, thinking on a bit before continuing. “Now that Niklaus is gone. He went back to Germany, Kyles…”

[kvliecollins]

it was from his almost emotionless face that she guessed something happened— probably one that he would not want to share, not even to her though she is clearly acknowledged for the fact that she would, and will promise to share all of his burden. “oliver,” even the girl froze at the point— not knowing what to say after having him told her what actually happened as that was way worse than her expectation. “im sorry to hear that..” was all she said before allowing the two fall into a short while of silence. 

after a while of recollecting her thought she realises (and hated) the fact that it was almost impossible for her to think of something to say, or to simply ease the melancholic atmosphere around the two “what actually happened?” she started again, voice small and gentle “did something happened between the two of you, i mean you can go after him back to Germany or is it way more complicating..?” 

[oxsteiner]

won’t feel a thing :

He didn’t know where he was driving to, after leaving the airport, till the moment he parks in front of Kylie’s place. Seeing where he is, Oliver sighs loudly and throws his head back, looking up. Why was he there? He didn’t want to go home, that’s right—and that gave him nowhere else to go. Back in Germany, when he needed moments like this, he would find himself on Niklaus’ place. But he wasn’t in there, Nik was gone, and that whole sadness on his insides was being cause by him.

Steiner rubs his forehead, his hand running through his hair, and opens the door, getting off the car. It was a warm spring night—but he kept wearing his black leather jacket as it was winter. He isn’t feeling hot—actually, was the exactly opposite: feeling cold, like he was sick. He tries to think if he really should bother Kylie with that and stops on her door. He could always go back to his car and drive with no destination; sleep there if he really felt like not going home. But… he guided himself on that door first. Maybe it would be good to have someone to talk.

Hesitating for a few more seconds with his fist half way from the wood, he finally knocks on the door, hoping the girl was home already. It was past 8pm, after all, he was sure her shift at the coffee shop was over by the end of the afternoon.

[kvliecollins]

she planned for herself to spend a quality night with some old movies and a bowl of popcorn after handing in a tremendous load of assignment— well she deserved it more than anyone does, before she hears the knock on the door, frowning a little as she wonders who would come over for a sudden visit at such hours the girl still went over and open the door, only to find oliver standing outside. 

“ollie..” her gaze stops on her face that paints of fatigue and even a slight trace of sadness, “are you okay—?” her voice sounded extremely worried, though she is completely aware that he is not the brightest person on earth, he has never shown her such torn expression until now— and she cant help but to wonder the reason behind such sadness. 

“come in..” she mutters, her body leaning against the door to make way for the other before she hurries into the kitchen “have you ate anything yet, can i make you anything..” tilting her head, she indicate for the other to treat himself like him while handing him the cup of water, plopping her body down on the couch.

[kvliecollins]

false alarm;

[oxsteiner]

( ; laughs almost amused at sudden jokes—it made her look less sick, after all, like she was keeping up after looking so bad when they were still at his place ) We should tell that, along with “we didn’t really plan to have you, but you happened, now look all the trouble you’re causing!” ( ; laughing more at that, he has to bite on his lower lip once the doctor gets into the room and starts talking to kylie. Oliver pays attention, obviously, he wanted to know what everything was about after all ) – ( ; one of her answers seemed like an important factor, since the doctor changed his posture and guided the questions mostly about food )

( ; breaths in relief at being nothing serious, seeing the other’s face confused—she was too tired, he notices, she needed more sleep for sure ) Food poisoning, plus tiredness. Your stomach is kind stressed ( ; he tells her, holding her hand and pulling her up ) I’ve never been so glad in hearing news like “something you ate did that to you”. ( ; laughing softly, he holds her hand tighter ) Not that I am happy you’re sick, ok…

[kvliecollins]

hey that will hurt him or her a lot if thats the case, having to deal with this whole ‘my parents doesnt actually want me’ mentality for the rest of their life, i suppose we start developing some love for the little baby

 {` hands reaches to caresses her stomach as if there was really a life inhibiting inside} — {` gains conscious once he starts speaking, rolls her eyes after hearing waht oliver said about the doctor’s respond, yet she cant stop but to feel relieved at the fact that it was nothing more than eating the wrong food} hey, how can someone be happy for another person getting sick—{` groans softly as the girl pays another attempt to sit up against the headboard, only to worsen the nausea} — {` rolls her eyes at her companion, letting him know how exactly how she feel at this very moment— both physically and towards his reaction} and you seem very happy for the matter of fact that i am sick and have to drag you out of bed in the middle of the night {` pouts, blinks with almost an innocent expression on her face, though arms crossed at the other} 

[kvliecollins]

false alarm;

[oxsteiner]

( ; with his hands up as giving in and accepting he shouldn’t be making fun of her, oliver chuckles, going towards the girl as the nurse had left the room ) I know, I know—I’m sorry, it’s just… I don’t know, I am the opposite, I prefer to think on any possibilities instead of the biggest one ( ; he sighs, scratching his neck ) I mean, it’s not bad—not that bad, it’s something easy to manage and is not killing you ( ; smiles softly, trying to calm her down ) So if you’re right, at least is something we can see about what to do… and now you, stop with the jokes, that’s not funny ( ; he frowns at her, though laughing ) Ok, maybe it is…

( ; leans his back on the wall, watching as she stayed quietly and sitting there not that far from her ) – ( ; chuckles at her, raising his eyebrow ) Come on… It’s one of the symptoms anyways, isn’t it? So it’s not embarrassing you thinking of it ( ; he smirks, though that wasn’t the time of being so cocky or just play with that, preparing her to what he would say next ) I mean—you really have a reason to come up with that idea, let’s be real…

[kvliecollins]

and what will we tell our child if thats the case, {` rolls her eyes, now unstoppable at making comments for fun— completely not serious and that eased a lot of the nervousness that flows in between them} sorry baby girl, the condom broke {` raises both of her hands up in mid-air} okay okay maybe i should stop with those jokes, but you have to admit for it to be pretty funny {` shoots him one assuring smile of how everything is going to be alright before returning back to answering the doctor’s questions} — {` the Q&A session was pretty dull and boring as it was just about her recent doings, and her body’s conditions. the lack of sleep for the few past days has been affecting her to a point where she has missed the doctor’s assumption of what is going on with her} what— {` mumbles, with eyes half opened as she eyed the doctor, then oliver— asking for an answer} so..whats going on with me again? 

[lgcxhaneul]

ɪɴᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ᴍᴀɪʟ »

[lgcxhaneul]

Finally, one file down…and about ten more to go. He never knew why there’s always reports to file at Wisteria, when hardly anything happens. Sure, occasionally ‘cats stuck in a tree’ ended up being on three out of ten files, but surely he shouldn’t be filing so many early in the morning. The man randomly picked one from the stack. Oh wow, a missing dog case. Now that’s something new.

He decided that he could never understand the mentality of these rich people.

[ MESSAGE ] + Snorts. + I mean, totally honored. + Talking about retirement plans already? Talk about early. + Coffee sounds good. + Bagels too. Anything but this weird diluted crap on my desk. + Time?

[kvliecollins]

her motivation to work was completely gone at the mention of a coffee date, especially when she has defined herself to be a caveman if the girl failed to get out under the sun in even just a few hours time. kylie turns her computer off, switching onto the phone application as her fingers tapped on the smaller screen, answering to the texts he just sent.

[ MESSAGE ] kylie collins: well, when you think of pension its not even early to start planning already  kylie collins: well when does your shift end, sheriff  kylie collins: i suggest the café i work at  kylie collins: close to the station i think  kylie collins: well chatswin is not exactly huge to start with

[kvliecollins]

false alarm;

[oxsteiner]

( ; his mind couldn’t stop from processing all the ideas that are now into his mind. Helping her out in getting her register done, oliver sits down in the waiting room beside her, feeling her arms around his own. Lying down his head over hers, he doesn’t say much, but the thought is still there. How would be if her suspicion was indeed correct? Not so good, he thought. He wasn’t prepared for such a thing and just the thought of it makes his stomach hurt. Yet, he only could see him trying his best into doing something about anything that she would need—if that situation was ever the case ) – ( ; kisses her forehead and pats her hands carefully as they waited for her to be called. Hearing her number, he stands up and goes right after her, holding her hand tight ) – ( ; gets into the room and keeps standing next to the door as he watches her and the nurse talking, his shoulder against the, now, closed door ) – ( ; doesn’t help a small laugh with the way kylie questions the other woman, shaking his head almost amused of how she was really a right-to-the-point )

Though she doesn’t feel appetite ( ; he talks slowly, tilting his head ) she has been eating anyways—I think it could also be something she ate? ( ; shrugs lightly, looking at kylie as he did and giving out a shy smile—he just had to put another option on the table, he needed to stop worrying that there was only one answer )

[kvliecollins]

and you will keep on making fun of me— {` rolls her eyes at the other and gestures her index finger towards the face that seemed a little to pale to be considered normal and healthy} even after witnessing me being extremely sick {` scrunches her nose at the other, though letting out a small laugh after} well it could have been the bad food too, but why arent you sick, oliver {` pouts wile giving him a legit reason to her worries— which might be totally out of a hunch as the reason itself was pretty much forced} im just saying...we got to be prepared for the worst should we, now, lets think of names 

{` laughs as the girl sits up (that was merely a joke), ready for the upcoming checkup as the doctor has arrived in the room} — {` the two falls into silence— except for the questions and answer session between herself and the doctor} you know, if that was just a false alarm i will cry in embarrassment..

[kvliecollins]

false alarm;

[oxsteiner]

( ; he takes her to the car, careful in not making much noise so he wouldn’t wake anyone up ) – ( ; helps her on opening the passenger’s door to her and closing it once she was inside. He walks around the car and slides inside the driver’s side, closing the door and turning on the engine ) – ( ; looks at her, his eyebrows raised ) Hey, you’ll be ok. They will probably just give up some medicine and see what’s wrong ( ; nods, driving around the neighborhood—pretty empty, probably because of the time ) – ( ; the question raised by her makes him look at her again, now confused ) Where this is com… ( ; he’s about to question the subject in such a moment, but his own mind shuts him up ) Oh… ( ; the realization of why she asked that comes up and he, in all honestly, felt his hands cold in sweat ) Do you… really think it’s this? I mean, you feeling sick being about this… ( ; he can’t manage to really say the word “pregnant”, like if he said out loud would make it more real and likely to happen )

But… ( ; he feels like she could already misunderstand his words, so he quickly decides to go along with it ) Well… they are cute? Tiny and innocent—they kind give us the feeling of protection, I guess ( ; mutters under his breath, finding a place to park his car next to the hospital’s doors ) – ( ; his mind is far from that moment, like he was trying to accept if that situation was the case—but it was hard, his life was still a mess and if that happened… he didn’t know for sure what to do. though he trusted the girl beside him enough to know they would find a way ) Let’s go ( ; he smiles lightly at her, mostly to calm both of them down, kissing her forehead before leaving the car and go around to open the door for her )

[kvliecollins]

{` looks up at the other, blinking as she listens to what he said, nods slowly in agreement though she fails to catch the fact that he has already notice what he is now thinking} well they are pretty cute, super super super cute {` spreads a smile on her face, though still looking sick as ever— with face extremely pale and her slender figure almost shivering out in the rather chilly atmosphere} — {` follows him into the hospital, registers at the counter before finding them a spot to sit down, leans closer to him with arms wrapped around his, closes eyes as she allows herself to rest} — {`  the nurses calls out for her number and she walks into the room for some checkup} well...i feel really weird lately...like throwing up..no appetite and all {` voices her worries to the nurse, frowning a little as she readies herself to tell the other what she is worried about} am i pregnant? {` clears her throat and sits down on the bed, waits for the upcoming checkups}

[kvliecollins]

false alarm;

[oxsteiner]

( ; tired as he was, he doesn’t feel when she leaves his embrace, though unconsciously frowns and groans as he feels something, someone missing ) – ( ; that doesn’t wake him up yet, only feeling the small moments of reality hitting him when he hears the girl’s voice calling his name ) Hm? ( ; he murmurs, his eyes still closed, his brain slowly processing to wake up as he rubs his eyes ) What time is it? ( ; asks, though he was almost awake enough to finally understand her words ) – ( ; sits up too fast, feeling dizzy and sighing, holding his head between his hands ) What’s wrong, Kyles? ( ; he still manages to ask, looking up at her and seeing she was greenish—like she was really not feeling well ) I will just put some pants and find my car keys ( ; is all he says after seeing how sick she looked, standing up and grabbing the pair of jeans he had left at the back of his chair, putting them on )

[kvliecollins]

{` she holds onto him as they walk out of the house, letting all sorts of thoughts bother her— mostly about how all the symptoms would lead to the same answer— pregnancy, but it was sure that she took the after pill and should be safe.} god how can i be so careless... {` groans softly as she slips into the passenger side, resting her head against the side, breathing deeply to vent both the feeling of sickness and the uneasiness— mostly consist of doubt to how oliver would react if these all comes true} oliver {` she peeks up to him, wondering if testing his reaction now would soothe the storm that this news might possibly bring} what do you think of babies? {` lets out a girly giggle, trying to make this chat as causal as possible— though its pretty hard to do so at four in the midnight} 

[kvliecollins]

false alarm;

[oxsteiner]

( ; frowns a little at what she says, finally getting dressed and a pair of boxers and white shirt ) Well… Let me know if you get too bad and want to go to the hospital ( ; he says that closing his wardrobe’s doors and, once with the lights off, slowly crawling on bed beside her )

( ; chuckles, rolling his eyes, but gets closer to her, holding her from behind and letting her body fits perfectly with his, his arm around her waist ) It is late ( ; he agrees, nodding slowly, placing his face on the back of her neck ) Are you sure you don’t want a medicine or something? ( ; whispers, his eyes already closed—too tired to keep them open ) Or maybe sleeping will help ( ; he sighs, pecking her neck softly, and pulling the blanket over them, his hand then reaching to grab hers ) Just wake me up if anything happens, ok? ( ; saying that, he gets distract with her hair scent, his mind somewhere between falling asleep and trying to remain conscious )

[kvliecollins]

{` she smiles softly, snuggling her way towards him to keeps the two of them comfortable} no i think i will survive without medicines {` a small chuckle escapes her lips as she lets out yet another satisfied hum} i will {` squeezes his hand gently, intertwining their fingers together before she drifts slowly off to sleep} — {` breaths peacefully in his embrace before another wave of sickness stings her throat nauseatingly} — {` quietly yet quickly, the girl sets herself free from his embrace, groans softly at she rushes to the bathroom throwing up in the toilet seat with her hair held on one hand}— {` when she walks out after cleaning the mess, it was already way past midnight— as shown on the clock of her phone, 3:18 am— contemplates if she would want to wake oliver or not as another wave of sickness hits her} 

oliver... {` calls out quietly to the other, with a hand over her mouth} lets go to the hospital...

[kvliecollins]

false alarm;

[oxsteiner]

( ; turns off the shower at the same time he hears her voice outside, taking his towel and drying himself ) Yes, hold on a minute ( ; he shouts at the closed door, drying his hair a little before wrapping his towel around his waist ) – ( ; with his toothbrush into his mouth, he opens the door and leaves the bathroom, looking around and seeing her on the bed—somehow, she seemed… uneasy ) You ok? ( ; raises an eyebrow with the question, tilting his head ) – ( ; goes back into the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth and places his toothbrush on its place on the sink ) Really ( ; he continues, now back into the bedroom again ) You have that look on your face—that one that makes me worried, to be honest ( ; chuckles as he says that, walking towards his wardrobe and open its doors, looking for some clean clothes )

[kvliecollins]

i dont know to be honest...i feel sick  {` straightens her up against the headboard before starting again, voice weak and small} its not the fever type of sick but..i dont know

 {` groans a little, holding her head as she shifts body to get comfortable in her sleep wear} but i guess i am feeling a little better now! are you tired though i think its pretty late {` squints her eyes a little to adjust to the light from the phone that she just turned on, groans softly} oh yes it is pretty late... {` scoots over to the inside of the bed, giving space for the other to hop on} oliver, please spoon me im feeling so bad... {` pouts a little as she blinks her innocent eyes at him} 

[kvliecollins]

false alarm;

{` she couldn’t exactly place a finger on whats going wrong this whole day, instead it was perfectly fine and perfectly, perfect} oliver {` she calls out, lazily resting on his bed while scrolling through her phone, it was already late but she does not feel tired at all}— {` suddenly, the substance in her stomach churns nauseatingly, causing her an urge of throwing up, the girl covers a hand over her mouth while the other hand searches for some kind that can hold onto what is going to come out of her} — {` throws up in a plastic bag that carried their takeaways from earlier along with a few coughs, grabs the bottled water on the night stand to gargle the taste away, takes down a few big gulps afterwards} are you coming out yet, oliver.. {` shouts into the bathroom before throwing the bag of unpleasant substance in the bin outside, since she has not told oliver about her being sick— especially about her worries— and would not want to worry him in anyway}

[oxsteiner]

breakeven :

[oxsteiner]

( ; feels her avoiding him and looks down, letting out a sigh. yeah, it all seemed too easy anyways ) – ( ; nods and clears his throat before looking at her, standing up ) Don’t worry ( ; shrugs. he seems pretty ok with the sudden avoidance, but inside he can’t help but feel a bit weird, like he had forgotten something and that’s why they were just being like that ) Just… let me know when you feel we’re ok again ( ; mutters, kissing the top of her head before head back to the coffee shop, leaving the workers area ) Thanks ( ; he smiles at the girl who helped him and pays for the frappuccino he had just got, once he was in the backroom ever since he asked for that ) – ( ; takes a sip of it as walks back to the sidewalk, already looking for his car keys inside of his pocket )

[kvliecollins]

{` at one moment the girl almost wanted to punch herself in the face for acting so oblivious, she wanted to shout at him how she still feel the same— and god, yes she does} oliver... {` she mumbles softly as he leaves the backroom, the girl is now placing blame on herself completely seeing how things has gone, because of her and her stupidity}— {` picks up her jacket and rushes out, notifying her co-worker that she would be back in five minutes, she follows him out him and catches the sight of him at the parking lot} god...you are the one who doesnt understand {` holds onto his sleeve, muttering} oliver...i like you i really do.. im sorry {` she finds it impossible for herself to express her anything she feels plainly in words, therefore reaches up closes her eyes as she presses her lips against his, hoping he’d understand how she feels} 

[oxsteiner]

breakeven :

[oxsteiner]

( ; sighs in relief at her words, a small smile growing on his face ) – ( ; that felt better—a way better than he’s been feeling that week ) Well, I am here, ain’t I? ( ; whispers, one of his hands reaching for her face, caressing her cheek with his thumb )

So don’t let such things like your family or past make you think you’re not good enough—you’re probably too good, in fact… at least for someone like me ( ; chuckles lightly, leaning closer letting his forehead against hers ) I should also work on making you believe that, by the way ( ; rolls eyes at her, his hand holding the side of her face ) And not let you regret this decision ( ; nods slowly, leaning in as his lips were almost reaching hers )

[kvliecollins]

{` smiles while she rests her forehead against him, though a slight trace of uncertainty flashes across her mind at that second} oh oliver, dont you dare say that about yourself, you are pretty good yourself {` now both hands are holding onto his hand as he begins to lean closer} — {` a sudden feeling of confusion and worry hits her— probably the sadness that has been remaining in her after all these days, making her duck his kiss— it all happened too quickly as if it was an act of impulse— and indeed it is} — {` blinks, letting go of the other and lets out a heavy sigh} ..i— im sorry...i dont know..if i can... {` stutters, finding it hard for herself to find the right word to make this all sound alright} i— im so sorry.... 

[serieseditz]