“you know you can always come to me if you need me, anytime” nodding, the girl reassures the other of always having a place to run to— and in this case it would be her “i know it is an almost impossible request, but ollie..” kylie chews on her lower lip, looking at him with her hands covering over his “promise me, ollie that you will walk out of this sadness one day..” a faint smile was misting across her sadness over seeing the other suffer— and also shock at how much that actually she worries about him, and how he feels can affect her so much.
“yes ofcourse you can stay for the night,” her voice extremely gently whilst holding on to his hand to leads him up to her room, “well, you know this place well enough—” the girl laughs dryly at her not-so-funny comment before plopping on the bed, a sigh of satisfaction comes to her as she stretches after a long day of studying. “right, do you want to watch a movie or something to get your mind off these things? i mean…i got everything ready here” mumbles as her eyes landed on the pile of dvd and the big bowl of popcorn “i think you deserve something to get your mind off all the unhappiness.”
Not helping a smile, even being a sad one, he nods at her request, caressing the skin of her cheek. “I think I can guarantee I won’t live like this forever… I might just need a few days to get my mind out of this before it takes over.” With that said, he stands and walks after her, holding her hand as being guided to her room. Chuckling lightly, Oliver nods once they are inside of her room and takes a quick look around—he had been there a few times, enough to have this place memorized at that point. “Yeah, I think I do,” he says, sitting on the edge of her bed and feeling a little less depressed as he was feeling before.
Oliver lies down beside her, nodding at her idea. “Ok, movie it is—you choose, since it seems you had this planned for yourself before I show up…” He smiles lightly. Though he isn’t exactly feeling happy, he is trying his best to look as good as possible. He had no idea at the power he had over her before seeing how she reacted over him being sad—she seemed as sad as he was, like she could feel his pain, and that didn’t sound fair to him. He didn’t want her to feel sad, so he would be doing that: smiling, trying to get better faster. “I am not sure about what I deserve, but if you say so, I might just believe you.” He nods, kissing her forehead.
she glances at the empty cup sitting on the coffee table, her mind still trying to make sense out of all these that has flashed in front of her like a movie— it all sounded so unreal, yet the man next to her serves to remind her once and again of how true this all are, “hey i mean..” gently, the girl places a hand on his cheek, caressing his cheek that seemed a tad too cool. “dont worry, things will be alright— ” she sits back, hands finding its way to his slightly bigger hand and gently warps them around his. kylie was never good at words, but to show him that she will always be here for him is the least she can do for him.
“i will be here whenever you need me..” she stops, hearing how shaky the other’s voice has became, and the girl swears for herself to hear the pieces of her own heart shattering. “…oliver…” she tightens the hold on his hand, almost feeling frightened at what the departure of nikulas has done to him. “we will go through this together okay, i promise i will always be here” kylie mumbles as she pulls him into her embrace “i know nothing will ever replace his place in your heart, i know, i know…but all we can do right now is to not let that break you down isnt it, i mean nikulas wont be happy to see you like this— and hey! ollie you know he might be waiting for you to go save him” a small smile appears on her face as an idea flashes across her mind “i mean, you studied law!”
The way she seems to understand—yet not knowing how to express into words—is enough to make him feel a little lighter. Though the guilt inside of him kept growing like it wouldn’t go away that easy this time, there wasn’t much he could do as for now. He knew that pretty well. Oliver nods at her words, feeling her arms embracing him, and hides his face on her neck. There were no words he wanted to say at that exact moment, so he simply keeps nodding and breathing against the skin of her neck, as he scent was calming him down—and kind was. She smelled like… home—like someone who would simply embrace him as she was doing, instead of judge him.
“Thank you,” he mutters, pulling his face away a bit, only to be able to stare at her. Oliver looks into her eyes, his forehead now against hers as his hand cupped her cheek. “Just… Yeah. Maybe.” He sighs at her thought—he doubt Götze wanted to be saved, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try. Knowing him, Nik was probably seeing this coming anyways—Oliver was a ‘stubborn son of a bitch’, that was pretty clear. “I will just wait till I actually come up with a good plan for how to save him.” He says that almost hopeless, but it would be the only kind of saying that would take a bit of his guilt out of him. “Again—thank you.”
As he got back to reality, Steiner noticed that he didn’t want to get away from Kylie—not now, at least. She would be the only one who would actually be some sorta of help, as his own sister would be more like a painful reminder of what he had done in Germany, the reason why his best friend was now an ocean away. “Do you… mind if I stay here tonight?” Asks quietly, sighing tired. “I don’t want to go home… If that’s how I can call that house right now…”
it was from his almost emotionless face that she guessed something happened— probably one that he would not want to share, not even to her though she is clearly acknowledged for the fact that she would, and will promise to share all of his burden. “oliver,” even the girl froze at the point— not knowing what to say after having him told her what actually happened as that was way worse than her expectation. “im sorry to hear that..” was all she said before allowing the two fall into a short while of silence.
after a while of recollecting her thought she realises (and hated) the fact that it was almost impossible for her to think of something to say, or to simply ease the melancholic atmosphere around the two “what actually happened?” she started again, voice small and gentle “did something happened between the two of you, i mean you can go after him back to Germany or is it way more complicating..?”
With the silence between them and not knowing what else to say, Oliver finishes to drink the water slowly and puts the glass on the coffee table. Scratching his forehead, he doesn’t know how to explain, exactly. Kylie knew what happened in Germany, so there isn’t a way to make things awkward between them. It would be, pretty much, telling the whole story this time. He thinks about it for a few seconds while they are still quiet and, once she asks about it, he feels like talking. Steiner sits up and turns to her, his arm on the back of the couch as he rubbed his face and tried to make some sense out of it.
“You remember when I explained why I moved to Chatswin, right?” He asks, now incapable of looking up at her, his eyes staring at his hand playing with hers. “About the criminal situation and all…” Muttering that part, he sighs. “Well, I don’t remember if I mentioned that Niklaus was part of it… Though the whole idea was mine—so I am the one to blame.” Taking a while to continue, Oliver finally looks up at Kylie, looking for any trace of disappointment. “I don’t know exactly why he left—he just said he couldn’t live like this and went to take the blame…” He feels his eyes tearing up with the idea of his best friend suffering the consequences. “I can’t go after him—he knows that, that’s why he left, because he knows I won’t follow, I’m sure… I… I just feel so guilt for this—I will have to go there at some point to try to get him out… When I have any ideas how…” Stops talking, noticing how emotionally he got and frowns. He’s pretty sure he seemed weak—maybe he indeed was.
she planned for herself to spend a quality night with some old movies and a bowl of popcorn after handing in a tremendous load of assignment— well she deserved it more than anyone does, before she hears the knock on the door, frowning a little as she wonders who would come over for a sudden visit at such hours the girl still went over and open the door, only to find oliver standing outside.
“ollie..” her gaze stops on her face that paints of fatigue and even a slight trace of sadness, “are you okay—?” her voice sounded extremely worried, though she is completely aware that he is not the brightest person on earth, he has never shown her such torn expression until now— and she cant help but to wonder the reason behind such sadness.
“come in..” she mutters, her body leaning against the door to make way for the other before she hurries into the kitchen “have you ate anything yet, can i make you anything..” tilting her head, she indicate for the other to treat himself like him while handing him the cup of water, plopping her body down on the couch.
Oliver doesn’t find words to say anything to her as she opened the door. He shakes his head lightly at the question though, letting a heavy sigh out of his mouth once inside of the warm house. What’s he doing there? Why bother and worry her? But he really couldn’t find answers to those questions. Kylie was the only one he wanted to be around at that very moment and maybe that meant it was his chance of trying to feel a little better.
“No… Don’t worry, I am not that hungry…” Finally finding his voice, he takes a long sip of the water she brought him, then sitting on the couch beside her. “I am sorry for coming without saying anything—it’s just… I really had nowhere else to go.” Again, that feeling inside of his chest was making things harder. It was like there was something missing and he knew very well what’s that. Not to say, the whole guilt he couldn’t help on feeling. “I just don’t feel like going home now that…” Oliver pauses, thinking on a bit before continuing. “Now that Niklaus is gone. He went back to Germany, Kyles…”
He didn’t know where he was driving to, after leaving the airport, till the moment he parks in front of Kylie’s place. Seeing where he is, Oliver sighs loudly and throws his head back, looking up. Why was he there? He didn’t want to go home, that’s right—and that gave him nowhere else to go. Back in Germany, when he needed moments like this, he would find himself on Niklaus’ place. But he wasn’t in there, Nik was gone, and that whole sadness on his insides was being cause by him.
Steiner rubs his forehead, his hand running through his hair, and opens the door, getting off the car. It was a warm spring night—but he kept wearing his black leather jacket as it was winter. He isn’t feeling hot—actually, was the exactly opposite: feeling cold, like he was sick. He tries to think if he really should bother Kylie with that and stops on her door. He could always go back to his car and drive with no destination; sleep there if he really felt like not going home. But… he guided himself on that door first. Maybe it would be good to have someone to talk.
Hesitating for a few more seconds with his fist half way from the wood, he finally knocks on the door, hoping the girl was home already. It was past 8pm, after all, he was sure her shift at the coffee shop was over by the end of the afternoon.
Hey Oliver—by the time you read this, I'll be long gone... Or least I hope so because it would be all kinds of awkward if you saw me after this. I thought about calling you, frankly, I do feel like a jerk by writing this all down in a letter instead, but I know myself, and more than that, I know you Oliver, you would convince me of not doing this, and I do not want to be convinced, for once, I am doing what is right, I am doing what I really, truly want to do.
I gave this a lot of thought, so don’t try to stop me, also, I believe you won’t be able to try, hopefully.
I’m going home, buddy. And before you even think that Chatswin is my home, no it isn’t. Germany is, Munich is my home, it has always been and I’m going back there. No, it won’t be dangerous, no one will catch me.
But that’s because I’m turning myself in, I’m taking the blame, I’ll tell them everything, or at least, almost everything. I won’t tell them about Anna or you, so don’t worry, I’ll just say I did it, that it was my fault, that I’m a murderer. I don’t know what they’re going to do to me, and honestly I don’t care, I need to pay my debts, Oliver, I can not live with this guilt killing my insides, I just can’t do it.
And honestly I don’t even know if that guy did anything to Annaliese anymore, Oliver, what if he was innocent? I have to pay for it, buddy, I really do.
I am sorry, I love you, more than you think, more than you’ll ever know. I left you my PS4 and all of my games, figured I won’t be using them in jail.
You’re the greatest person I’ve ever met, thanks for all of these years, Woody.
Sunny.
Letting the letter fall off his hand in chock, Oliver stared blankly through the window of Niklaus’ room—or so it was till that exact moment. He couldn’t believe what his eyes had read—he didn’t want to believe it. So many questions started to fill the blonde’s mind that his only reaction was to take the letter and run. Run to the airport—maybe there was still time. Nik told him not to try to convince him, but stubborn as he was, he just had to try. Oliver almost ran over his sister, seeing her frown and hearing her voice as he slammed the door behind him. He didn’t have time for that—to deal with Annaliese or whoever it was while he didn’t get to see Niklaus for one last time.
Though clearly not good to drive, it’s the only way he found to get at the airport with a better chance to find Nik. Oliver’s thoughts go back and forth through the words he read in that letter. Besides the thing that worried him the most—the whole turning himself in and go to jail—his mind doesn’t help in bringing the few other details out of it. What is he was innocent? Niklaus wrote and Oliver suddenly felt a bad taste in his mouth. He never thought of that, he never got a reason to—but if Nik did, he probably knew more than him, somehow. Steiner just had no idea of how and why. Maybe he would never do.
“God, Götze, why are you doing this to me?” Oliver breathed. He wasn’t much of the crying kind of guy, but that pain he was feeling inside of his chest with the idea of his best friend in jail because of something he did—both of them did, but that was Oliver’s fault, that was Oliver’s idea—was almost bringing tears to his eyes. He gulped, parking in the first spot he finds—somewhere he couldn’t, but he didn’t care for a traffic fine—and ran into the airport. His feet didn’t stop till he found the departure gates, with a big screen informing the flights.
Munich, Germany – Lufthansa® 411 – JFK-MUC – En Route (~ 01:24 EST, 07:24 CET)
“No…” He whispered seeing the information. The plane had left an hour ago—he was an hour late, he read the letter too late. “No, no… Fuck, Niklaus!” With his hands running through his hair, he looked up, trying to calm himself down. Oliver had no chance—no chance at all of trying to stop the other from ruining himself forever. Of course, living with the guilt wasn’t good either, Steiner himself tried to ignore that feeling every single day for the last year… but, going to jail… letting Nik go to jail alone—that was also putting more guilt inside of him.
The guy dropped himself in the closest seat he found, hiding his face with his both hands and trying to make sense of it. He would have to go to Germany as well—at some point. And there, maybe he could still try to defend Nik on his favor. He used to be a fucking lawyer and he was the one to be blamed for what happened—so of course he could try to put up some proofs that would take the fault off Niklaus’ name. He would have to try eventually—or he couldn’t live with himself. “Not now,” he thought, though. Not now that he thought things were almost, almost getting on track. After a year, all of them seemed to be doing good—Liese seemed as usual, he had found someone out of this mess and Nik… well, he was clearly not happy, considering his sudden decision. “What had I missed?” Steiner muttered to himself, rubbing his face and staring at people going into the gates, probably travelling for work or for vacation—while he was there, trying to hold himself into having a breakdown thanks to the miserable decision he made in the past.
He didn’t want to go home. The idea of dealing with his sister only gave him headache—he wanted to stay away for as long as he could to process what the hell was going on. Taking the letter off his pocket, the crumpled piece of paper, he read the last words he probably would see from his best friend—at least till he figure a way out for him. “Hell, Nik, what am I gonna do without you now?” Is what escaped off his mouth, the tears trying to fill his eyes, though he quickly looked up not to let them. No, he wouldn’t cry. If he cried it would probably mean he was accepting that was their end—and it wasn’t.
Innocent, Oliver would also never guess the true meaning of that “I love you” the other wrote. Clueless, blind of what kind of love was that. How could a guy live with another one, loving him more and more with all of his heart, when it was clear they wouldn’t ever be more than friends? When it was clear he was getting himself hurt? Steiner would never really think or notice that was the main reason for why Niklaus Götze had decided to leave him.
hey that will hurt him or her a lot if thats the case, having to deal with this whole ‘my parents doesnt actually want me’ mentality for the rest of their life, i suppose we start developing some love for the little baby
{` hands reaches to caresses her stomach as if there was really a life inhibiting inside} — {` gains conscious once he starts speaking, rolls her eyes after hearing waht oliver said about the doctor’s respond, yet she cant stop but to feel relieved at the fact that it was nothing more than eating the wrong food} hey, how can someone be happy for another person getting sick—{` groans softly as the girl pays another attempt to sit up against the headboard, only to worsen the nausea} — {` rolls her eyes at her companion, letting him know how exactly how she feel at this very moment— both physically and towards his reaction} and you seem very happy for the matter of fact that i am sick and have to drag you out of bed in the middle of the night {` pouts, blinks with almost an innocent expression on her face, though arms crossed at the other}
I am obviously not happy with you feeling sick, ok? ( ; chuckles, his hand caressing her arm ) It’s just good to see it’s nothing—well, as big and kind problematic as we thought ( ; though the bad choice of words, he was sure she would get his point. the important thing was that it was just with the food and nothing with a baby coming or whatever ) And do you think I liked to be awake in the middle of the night? Because I didn’t ok? ( ; rolls eyes and pecks her pouting lips ) Now, let’s go, let’s just buy some meds so you can feel better, ok?
and what will we tell our child if thats the case, {` rolls her eyes, now unstoppable at making comments for fun— completely not serious and that eased a lot of the nervousness that flows in between them} sorry baby girl, the condom broke {` raises both of her hands up in mid-air} okay okay maybe i should stop with those jokes, but you have to admit for it to be pretty funny {` shoots him one assuring smile of how everything is going to be alright before returning back to answering the doctor’s questions} — {` the Q&A session was pretty dull and boring as it was just about her recent doings, and her body’s conditions. the lack of sleep for the few past days has been affecting her to a point where she has missed the doctor’s assumption of what is going on with her} what— {` mumbles, with eyes half opened as she eyed the doctor, then oliver— asking for an answer} so..whats going on with me again?
( ; laughs almost amused at sudden jokes—it made her look less sick, after all, like she was keeping up after looking so bad when they were still at his place ) We should tell that, along with “we didn’t really plan to have you, but you happened, now look all the trouble you’re causing!” ( ; laughing more at that, he has to bite on his lower lip once the doctor gets into the room and starts talking to kylie. Oliver pays attention, obviously, he wanted to know what everything was about after all ) – ( ; one of her answers seemed like an important factor, since the doctor changed his posture and guided the questions mostly about food )
( ; breaths in relief at being nothing serious, seeing the other’s face confused—she was too tired, he notices, she needed more sleep for sure ) Food poisoning, plus tiredness. Your stomach is kind stressed ( ; he tells her, holding her hand and pulling her up ) I’ve never been so glad in hearing news like “something you ate did that to you”. ( ; laughing softly, he holds her hand tighter ) Not that I am happy you’re sick, ok…
Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly and thinking over his feelings, Cali couldn’t help but feel a small amount of regret at coming here tonight. Maybe it had been a bad idea, maybe he should’ve just gone out for a walk instead.. walks were good– but drinking was better. It was a habit he’d gotten himself it lately, drinking away his problems rather than facing them or even telling anyone about them, and of course he knew it wasn’t good for him but he couldn’t exactly help it.
Looking over at the bartender he nodded with a dry laugh, “Yea, that soon.” Slipping his hand into his pocket, he took out the fake ID he’d been using for quite a while now and slid it over to the older male, offering whatever he could call a smile as he did so.
Returning the smile, Oliver takes the ID and checks on it. Considering he once had been one of the guys who would be either providing people that kind of thing or using it, he was pretty good at noticing the little details—the way it looked, the texture, everything—if it was false or real. A lot of people at Fuel used fake IDs and he turned them down easily—or, sometimes, if they were looking like this guy right now, he would let go and just pretend he didn’t notice or wasn’t good at those things. “This is a piece of work,” he chuckled at the younger, handing back his document. “Very hard to notice, but yeah, you seem like you need a drink and—well, I also used those, so… you’re free from trouble.”
With that said, Steiner prepares something strong to the guy—he seemed like the kind that was used to drink, so he clearly could handle if he asked. “There you go.” He pours the drink to the guy, looking around the bar to check if there was anyone needing him. At the sight of what seemed that everyone had their orders being prepared, he looked back at the asian guy. “Try to take it easy on that,” deciding on saying that, he shrugged lightly. “Alcohol helps, but whatever that’s giving you a headache will come back as soon as you get sober again.”
and you will keep on making fun of me— {` rolls her eyes at the other and gestures her index finger towards the face that seemed a little to pale to be considered normal and healthy} even after witnessing me being extremely sick {` scrunches her nose at the other, though letting out a small laugh after} well it could have been the bad food too, but why arent you sick, oliver {` pouts wile giving him a legit reason to her worries— which might be totally out of a hunch as the reason itself was pretty much forced} im just saying…we got to be prepared for the worst should we, now, lets think of names
{` laughs as the girl sits up (that was merely a joke), ready for the upcoming checkup as the doctor has arrived in the room} — {` the two falls into silence— except for the questions and answer session between herself and the doctor} you know, if that was just a false alarm i will cry in embarrassment..
( ; with his hands up as giving in and accepting he shouldn’t be making fun of her, oliver chuckles, going towards the girl as the nurse had left the room ) I know, I know—I’m sorry, it’s just… I don’t know, I am the opposite, I prefer to think on any possibilities instead of the biggest one ( ; he sighs, scratching his neck ) I mean, it’s not bad—not that bad, it’s something easy to manage and is not killing you ( ; smiles softly, trying to calm her down ) So if you’re right, at least is something we can see about what to do… and now you, stop with the jokes, that’s not funny ( ; he frowns at her, though laughing ) Ok, maybe it is…
( ; leans his back on the wall, watching as she stayed quietly and sitting there not that far from her ) – ( ; chuckles at her, raising his eyebrow ) Come on… It’s one of the symptoms anyways, isn’t it? So it’s not embarrassing you thinking of it ( ; he smirks, though that wasn’t the time of being so cocky or just play with that, preparing her to what he would say next ) I mean—you really have a reason to come up with that idea, let’s be real…
A week had somehow managed let itself go by. This being week of pure hell for the boy, and of course avoiding almost all possible forms of contact in favour of letting isolation take a hold of him, and that wasn’t an easy thing to do for him. But that had become Cali’s thing a while ago, because he’d rather let himself suffer in silence than face the possible thought of letting someone else deal with his problems. Or just telling anyone his problems in general. Though, sometimes that got too much for him, sometimes the silence and feeling of being completely alone got too much for the young male to handle alone– and when that happened he needed some form of escape, some place to go to drown out all thoughts and feelings to make himself better.
That esd how he’d ended up there, at the one club he was able to get himself into based purely on the connections he had and the money he could hand over– that and a fake ID of course. Still, this hadn’t exactly been his first choice of places to escape to. For one, it wasn’t exactly the quietest place - the hint of that being in the fact it was a club - but it was a place he trusted more than the others. So with that in mind, Cali had somehow been able to make his way over the bar, taking a seat in front of it to wait on a bartender that he may or may not know coming over.
Tapping his fingers off his leg as he waited, the boy lifted his head at the sound of a voice being addressed to him. Keeping his voice steady, despite the on edge feeling he had, he answered, “Hey.. And yea, something strong.” He didn’t know what he wanted, he just wanted to get into some state of drunkenness quickly, because maybe that would make him feel a little better.
Oliver hadn’t always been the quiet kind of guy, but being one of those now (unless he is at work), he could just notice the guy in front of him was one of those. One like him—probably. On his point of view, just by the way the guy was sitting down and how he had found him waiting for getting his turn to order was a few sights of something else—maybe something he hide from others. Steiner was good at reading people, a gift he got while he used to practice law back in his hometown—so it was pretty easy for him to simply see it through, though that clearly didn’t mean he would catch every little detail or understand what’s going on. But what people were feeling, on another hand—that was very touchable.
Raising his eyebrows lightly at the order, the German got another thing to add into the thoughts he was having about how this guy looked—young, not very happy, asking for a strong drink. Yeah, he was pretty sure not all were well with him. “That soon?” He questioned with a friendly smile, his hand resting on his edge of the counter between them. “Can I check your ID, by the way? Just… house’s policies.” Nodding at that, he keeps up the smile and tries to think of something to prepare for that young man.
{` looks up at the other, blinking as she listens to what he said, nods slowly in agreement though she fails to catch the fact that he has already notice what he is now thinking} well they are pretty cute, super super super cute {` spreads a smile on her face, though still looking sick as ever— with face extremely pale and her slender figure almost shivering out in the rather chilly atmosphere} — {` follows him into the hospital, registers at the counter before finding them a spot to sit down, leans closer to him with arms wrapped around his, closes eyes as she allows herself to rest} — {` the nurses calls out for her number and she walks into the room for some checkup} well…i feel really weird lately…like throwing up..no appetite and all {` voices her worries to the nurse, frowning a little as she readies herself to tell the other what she is worried about} am i pregnant? {` clears her throat and sits down on the bed, waits for the upcoming checkups}
( ; his mind couldn’t stop from processing all the ideas that are now into his mind. Helping her out in getting her register done, oliver sits down in the waiting room beside her, feeling her arms around his own. Lying down his head over hers, he doesn’t say much, but the thought is still there. How would be if her suspicion was indeed correct? Not so good, he thought. He wasn’t prepared for such a thing and just the thought of it makes his stomach hurt. Yet, he only could see him trying his best into doing something about anything that she would need—if that situation was ever the case ) – ( ; kisses her forehead and pats her hands carefully as they waited for her to be called. Hearing her number, he stands up and goes right after her, holding her hand tight ) – ( ; gets into the room and keeps standing next to the door as he watches her and the nurse talking, his shoulder against the, now, closed door ) – ( ; doesn’t help a small laugh with the way kylie questions the other woman, shaking his head almost amused of how she was really a right-to-the-point )
Though she doesn’t feel appetite ( ; he talks slowly, tilting his head ) she has been eating anyways—I think it could also be something she ate? ( ; shrugs lightly, looking at kylie as he did and giving out a shy smile—he just had to put another option on the table, he needed to stop worrying that there was only one answer )
