nevermore

30.nj.capricorn.sadist.

[spitblossoms]

[remanence-of-love]

[kwaahzee]

Absolutely enrages me to miss you like so. You deserve nothing at all but failure and disappointment

[cybervoidd]

[kwaahzee]

You made me hate that city

I feel the release of that hate through the torrential purge of your skies.

If only your corpse could be torrented swiftly into the rushing waters far away from ever hurting another living soul.

Jezebel in the flesh, I banish you to eternal agony and displeasure. May you constantly grasp but never hold, try but never achieve a single god damn thing.

Hekate - I call on you to lead her into internal loneliness with no light no matter what path she takes.

[kwaahzee]

I truly wish nothing but pure karma and redemption. I loathe you for the shit you put me through.

[kwaahzee]

It’s kinda sick but I’m stoked that this storm is unleashing on Houston. Drown out the rats and let the noble survive. I’m relishing in natural justice.

[kwaahzee]

It hurts man I don’t understand how someone can go from up your ass every day to absolutely dead, gone. As if you never existed at all

[kwaahzee]

04july

Angry as fuck today. Not sure what exactly it is, it’s the longing for my person in a way. The grief over the trauma I just endured. Mixed with longing to be left completely alone. I just want to smash things. I don’t even care about her, I did not know her and from what I know I have zero tolerance for the type of human she is. To me she is dead. Mourn on I suppose but god damn I want justice, redemption. Trust goddess will handle it, the energy just works that way.

[kwaahzee]

I feel so alone it’s nearly unbearable. It’s paradox as I’m in a room of five people. I’m anything but alone lately but in my soul I have this emotional emptiness. I’m angry I cannot believe I find myself here again, disposed of insignificantly as if I’m meaningless.

[kwaahzee]

For once I want to be chosen. I want to be chosen every god damn time, that’s my person that’s my human and I’m proud of her.

Get that from within they say, you need not another to choose you … you must choose you. I feel I choose me every time I wake up. The fact that my feet are stepping consistently forward means that I’m doing this shit despite my heart aching my brain looping and my energy being so low. I could just leave this realm don’t you all understand? It’s a fucking blessing to have me here. It’s damn blessing to exist, Liss; so start acting like it.

[kwaahzee]

25jun2024

It is hardest in the morning I believe. See, when we met, she’d call first thing when she’d wake up… it was at the point I felt she changed her schedule to wake with me. I never felt such…obsession? I knew it was not safe. I played the game anyway. The momentary feelings of security, the sparkle and warmth of feeling desired… they were certainly not worth the pain I feel now.

She was never real in that image - that was not her. It’s her rouse her game her scam. Pitch me exactly what you think I want, silly me for being open with you about my motivations and dreams. Tainted see you have tainted what once felt fun to me. The morning routine is cracked, massive fault line gaping in the middle of my beautiful morning every fucking morning. I did not even like talking with you! I hardly could speak! It was always you you you you you all you care about is your pathetic shallow self… a self you do not even know.

You disgust me yet I yearn for you. I hate you

[kwaahzee]

So I don’t miss you, I miss what I dreamed for myself in a partner. You never possessed any of that person I long for. Get out of the way then, I guess thank you for getting out of my energy. Truly go to fucking hell you parasitic excuse of a human being.

[kwaahzee]

There are so many things I want to say to you that I don’t know where to start and it doesn’t even matter, the words mean nothing and you never will hear me.

I miss you but I don’t know why because all you ever did was talk about yourself and dump your stress on me. You never cared about anything in my life

[kwaahzee]

I’m back to where I always find myself.

Depressed

[slutforlustblog]

[octoberbrunette]