Aia

"She's the type of girl that can be so hurt but can still look at you and smile."

[kwentomosaturtle101]

Life Update that nobody asked...

So ayun na nga, i started a new job and wala pa akong 1 month. But so far, okay ako sa environment, sa teammates, and workload. + may pogi akong ka-work skl. Then shit happened.... I am about to lay off. Not really lay off naman, oa lang ako hahhaha. Like malilipat lang ako ng different account, but i'm still employed in the same company.

i am shocked and sad. because what do you mean i waited 2 months for this job just to get lay off??? tho bago ako mag start, nag wo-worry na talaga ako na baka hindi ako matuloy dahil sa gulo ng mundo, then thankfully hindi naman binawi yung offer sakin and I started na this May. The reason why they hired new is because of their high volume hiring, tapos ngayon bumababa na yung volume, nag babawas sila ng tao. wtf! super late kasi nila ako pinag start date.

tapos this last few weeks, sinasabi na nga ng mga leaders na bumababa na yung volume hiring, ako as a new hire naisip ko na baka magbawas sila ng tao and putangina, tama nga ako hahahaha. idk naiisip ko talaga ganitong mga scenario but im still shocked kasi it actually happened. and ngayong alam ko na i realized na THERE ARE SIGNS or OA lang ako? or i have this "just in case" mindset

ayaw ko muna gumastos ng malala kasi hindi pa ako regular, you know, not because i have work na bibilin ko na lahat ng nasa cart ko hahhaha. Inuna ko lang yung mga essentials

sinasabi ng mother ko na hindi ako mareregular kasi lagi akong late hahhahaah (few mins lang naman). deep inside naiinis ako kasi parang wala syang tiwala sakin and gusto nya mangyari na hindi ako ma regular

"masaya ako na nakilala kita" as a joke from my workmate kasi may escalation sya and nag jojoke sya na baka matanggal sya, turns out ako ang matatanggal

naiisip ko na what if i-pursue ko yung ibang industry, but then since im okay dito sa new job ko, binalewala ko lang yun

i am praying lately na i-align ako ni Lord sa environment, people, and situation na para sakin.... tapos this happened.

parang, Lord eto na ba yun? ina-align mo na ba ako kung ano ang para sakin kasi i asked for it? if yes, please guide me. give me a lot of courage to keep going and to trust the process.

May nabasa ako na pag may changes sa life, people will experience uncomfyness, confusion, and it feels scary. and this is exactly what i am feeling right now.

im sad. im scared. idk what to do. idk what i want. idk what will happen to me.

when i found out, nawala ako sa wisyo. nawawalan na naman ako ng gana. gutso ko tanungin na "what did i do to deserve this?" but i am trying to think in a positive way na, everything happens for a reason. i asked for alignment and growth, baka eto na yun. I just really need to trust the process, trust and believe in myself, that everything will work out. I'll find where i belong, not now, but soon.

[kwentomosaturtle101]

Day 1 (5/11/26)

Okay lang naman. As usual puro request ng log in credentials. Hindi ko alam ano itatanong ko related sa work kasi wala akong alam. Pero kaya nga ako mag tatanong kasi wala akong alam? Hahhaha. I mean idk what to ask kasi hindi ko pa naman alam yung mga process. Parang ako, as a new joiner, i am expecting na mej spoon feed sa process para i have an idea sa process or workflows diba tapos tsaka na ako mag tatanong kapag ginagawa ko na sya firsthand.

Environment. Oki din, maganda office, facilities, may free food.

3 days onsite me, ang mahal lang ng pamasahe. 300+. Ang budget ko per day kasama food ay 500.

Convenient naman yung commute, idk pero kapag nag ccommute talaga ako otw sa work at pauwi ang lungkot. Kasi pagod ako physically and emotionally tapos kung ano ano pa naiisip ko sa byahe. Kung baga hindi occupied yung utak ko kaya kung ano anong thoughts naiisip ko. I miss my previous job talaga, my friends. Kasi may kasabay ako pumasok at uwi tapos ang saya ko lang kapag commute. Like may kausap ako, tawanan, occupied yung utak ko.

While working, bigla lang pumasok sa isip ko na hindi ko makita yung sarili ko na nag wowork ng matagal sa isang company hahahaha pota. Yung previous work ko puro 1yr lang, & 7mos, wala pa akong work na tumagal ng 2 years.

[kwentomosaturtle101]

April 2026

Alrighttttt, life update that nobody asked for.

I started journaling last January until 2nd week of April. Wala ng papel sa notebook and hindi pa ako nakakabili ng bago and tinatamad na ako mag sulat everyday hahahahha. Kaya eto ako, nag tatype ulit dito.

Soooo, what I've been doing this past few days?? bed rotting & doom scrolling. idk sobrang wala akong motivation this past few weeks, hindi na ako nakabalik sa gym kasi busy na yung mga kasama ko so nag bed rott nalang ako. im planning to go back to the gym once nag start na ako mag work, kasi ngayon wala na talaga akong pera pang membership sa gym, ubos na ubos na savings ko. +++ i am having acne breakout again. ang lala. sobrang nakakastress na nag bebreakout ako kasi may kasal ako na pupuntahan. nilo-look forward ko tong kasal na to kasi i get to dress pretty, make up, have a chance to take cute and decent pictures, tapos nag breakout ako. wtf. ending, onti lang pictures ko kasi naco-conscious ako sa acne ko.

Let's talk about the wedding; ang saya nung wedding, ang ganda ng venue, delicious foods, and fun crowds. sosyal vibes yung wedding, i love et. During the wedding, naiisip ko na "shet, gusto ko na din ikasal" hahahahha tapos naiisip ko din what if ako yung nasa ganon sitwasyon baka super iyak ko na hahahahah. kasi sakanila pa lang, naiiyak na ako. paano pa kaya kung ako na mismo yung andon. ang saya nung set of groomsmen at bridesmaid nila, like g sila sa lahat, mga hindi nahihiya, ine-enjoy lang nila yung moment and gusto ko din ng ganon. as an introvert, feeling ko kapag kinasal ako hindi ganito kasaya kasi i have a few friends lang, introvert pa sila. kaya i am torn talaga kung i want an intimate or elope wedding hahahahhaha.

Tapos edi honeymoon na nila, tapos yung friends nila sasama din sa Thailand for their honeymoon! Ngayon lang sila nag decide na sumama at book ng ticket. Sobrang spontaneous! ganito yung gusto kong kaibigan. sobrang sponty hahahhaha. to be honest, naiingit ako not because mag thailand sila. mas naiingit ako sa friendship na meron sila, yung bond, sponty trip sa life, and they have each other no matter what. i have friends but most of the time i still feel alone. nakakapagod mag reach out sakanila kasi lagi lang ako narereject na wala silang money, hindi sila available, may ibang lakad, etc. tapos makikita ko sa socmed na lumabas sila with their other friends. pag sa iba meron, pag dating sakin wala. i am not their favorite. so sad. kaya i got too tired to reach out. pag niyaya nalang nila ako go lang.

dahil sa sponty trip nila, natrigger yung sadness ko hahahhahaha. like i want that kind of friendship too. that's all.

[kwentomosaturtle101]

Nov 26, 2025

I am still unemployed. I'm sad, heart is heavy, anxious, and worried. I cannot explain exactly what i am feeling, all i know is that i am sad and scared.

Lord please help me to overcome this feeling. Give me a lot of physical strength and courage to keep going. I'm lost.

I miss being happy, stressed & worried free, the light and at peace feeling. I want to laugh until I cry because of happiness. I want to be happy again.

[kwentomosaturtle101]

sooooo something happened... tangina ang careless ko. idk. ang bobo ko sa part na ang excuse ko ay hindi ko alam na delikado yun, na hindi ko sineryoso, eh common sense naman yun, instinct yun na delikado. but i shrug it off. parang hindi pa sincere yung sorry ko but i mean it. i feel bad. hindi ko naman sadya. hindi ko naman ginusto. honestly ayaw ko nga mag stay dun ng matagal kasi hindi ako comfy mag alaga ng baby. im so sad. im scared.

[kwentomosaturtle101]

ghaaaad idk what i want, what to do. parang may tali na naman sa utak ko na buhol-buhol na hindi ko maayos. ang dami kong imagination na gusto ko mangyari pero idk where and how to start. pota.

[kwentomosaturtle101]

Life update that no one ask for... Year 2025

sooooooooo, long time no post. Ang dami nangyari pero at the end of the day im still sad and alone. what a life! hahahhaha

I've been traveling, and i love it so much it keeps me motivated to work.

January I went to Bacolod, it was a stress-hassle free trip.

Feb, went to Palawan to celebrate my mom's bday.

March, spontaneous trip to hulugan falls in Laguna.

April, joined a funrun. It was my first time running for 10km. So proud of myself! Old me could never.

May, reunited with my college friends and we went to Dingalan. It was a beautiful trip.

June, went to a Kayapa triology hike in Nueva Vizcaya.

July, supposed to be in Iloilo but the trip was cancelled due to typhoon. So sad.

August, no ganaps because I was about to resign and need to save money for my Palawan trip this September.

September, spent first week in Palawan to celebrate my bestie birthday. How I wish I stayed there forever.

October, atm.... i am unemployed for the whole month of sept and counting, rotting in bed, binge-watching, my body clock sucks. I've been applying for a job everyday, attending interviews almost everyday, still I'm unemployed.

I didn't expect this year that I would be unemployed because I like my work, my manager, my colleagues so much. Honestly, I see myself staying in that company for 3-5 years, but something happened and I impulsively resigned last June. Biggest mistake.

I resigned last June but I secured a new work in BGC, stayed there for only 2 months then I resigned because of the commute. I was planning to rent an apartment but my salary wouldn't compensate my everyday expenses. So I resigned. Now I'm sad. hahahhhahah

Idk what to do, what I want. I'm anxious. I am starting from scratch, zero, again. Gusto ko lang naman mag work para may pera ako pang travel ko, bakit ang hirap humanap ng trabaho? pota. Ang goal ko lang naman, or pangarap ko sa buhay ay mag travel. Nasimulan ko na sya this year, sana magkaroon na ulit ako ng work kung saan ako magiging masaya, comfortable, good environment, good salary so I can travel again next year.

Honestly ayoko nga mag work eh. Gusto ko lang ng pera. hahahahaha. Pero hindi ako anak ng senador or anak ng contractor na corrupt kaya kailangan ko mag work para makuha ko mga luho ko.

Ayun lang naman ang rant at update, same same but kinda different. At least, may memorable na nangyayari sa buhay ko. Unlike sa previous years ko na walang core memory.

I am hoping, wishing, and praying for the best! keep fighting, self.

[kwentomosaturtle101]

tangina long time no post here. Ang dami ng nangyari sa buhay ko pero at the end of the day, im still sad.

Tangang tanga na naman ako sa mga desisyon ko sa buhay.

[kwentomosaturtle101]

iba talaga kapag nakakainom, namimiss ko sya 😆😭

[kwentomosaturtle101]

nakakapagod na

[kwentomosaturtle101]

Bilis sagutin ni Lord yung hinihingi kong sign 🥺🥺 kaso nakalimutan ko yung sinabi kong isang prayer ko hHAHHAHAH

Sabi ko kasi kapag hindi pa sya nag chat until sunday, ile-let go ko na sya. Eh nag chat agad ng madaling araw, so meaning ko di pa sya ile-let go hHAHAHAHHA

Ang alam ko, sabi ko if mag chat sya may gagawin ako. At ayon ang nakalimutan ko kung ano gagawin ko if nag chat sya. Pero ang naisip ko na gagawin ko is, sasabihin ko na yung nararamdaman ko talaga hahhahahaha. Shz gulo

[kwentomosaturtle101]

Day 2:

My life is a joke. Nag reactivate na ako ng socmed acc hHAHHAHAHAHAHHA. Wala lang bigla ko lang naisip na mag reactivate agad. Naisip ko, bakit ko ba tinotorture yung sarili ko na mag isolate.

May nalalaman pa akong at least a month, eh halos 2 days lang ako naka deact depota.

Pero infairness din naman nung naka deactivate ako, hindi ako nag eexpect na may mag chat sakin, hindi ako nagiintay.

[kwentomosaturtle101]

Day 1: No socmed acc (fb, twi, ig)

Sooo ayon i deactivated all of my socmed acc last night, bc trip ko lang at ayoko kumausap na muna ng tao hahahhaha. I need peace of mind.

Pagka deact ko nag tanong agad kuya ko bakit ako nag deact, wag daw ako mag deact iblock ko nalang yung tao na ayoko kausap 😆.

Matagal ko naman na gusto mag deact at nagawa ko na sya ngayon, sana mapanindigan ko!!! I'll try my best na wag muna mag reactivate at least a month or better nga next year nalang ako mag reactivate.

Goodluck to me!!! For peace of mind and healing process ✨

[kwentomosaturtle101]

my life is so fcking boring and sad

[kwentomosaturtle101]

im sooooo tired and sad. I need a fcking hug!!! Feel ko kapag niyakap ako mag bbreak down ako malala hahahaaha. Miss ko na yung yakap na nakakatanggal ng pagod. Hindi ko na alam kung kanino ko sya makukuha :(

[perfectfeelings]

“Someone somewhere is searching for you in every person they meet.”

— Unknown

[kwentomosaturtle101]

1st daaaaay of my new work sa Ortigas!!!! First day of working onsiteee!! 5am ako umalis ng bahay, 7:30ish ko nakita yung building. haba ng nilakad ko juskooo pagod na agad ako. naiiyak na agad ako pag uwi mamaya huhuhuhu. sana di umulan :(

kaya ko ba to??? kaya ko ba bumyahe everydayyyy ng ganito??? gusto ko mag rent pero di ko sure kung kaya ng budget ko. sana malipat na agad office sa makati para isang van nalang from bahay, less hassle yun.

ang lungkot naman ng walang kausap?? ala ako inaupdate, ala ako mapag rant-an. Namiss ko na agad sila mama sa bahay!!! Hahahha shuta. Eversince na nag work ako lagi wfh kaya kasama ko pa rin sila mama everyday. Tho gusto ko naman na din talaga mag work onsite para naman maexperience ko. Minanifest ko to, nakuha ko na ngayon ✨

Kaya ko to!!! First time ko lang kasi kaya malungkot at may doubt pa ako sa sarili ko. Pero masasanay din ako. Wala naman akong choice kundi to keep going.

Hay life. Fighting!