Victory Outreach Men's Recovery Home (Rancho Cordova, CA)
After being in jail from December 11th, 2023 up until March 5th, 2024 I can’t safely tell you my life has been all over the fucking place. I don’t quite understand how it can be so “all over the place” when I barely talk to anyone anymore. I was having a hard time finding a ride to the store just to get some takeout! Never ended up finding that ride either by the way… To fill everyone online in on my personal life, just a little bit, pretty much since being released from Placer County Jail I made a commitment go straight from the jail to a rehab program. The courts didn’t even want me to go home, get food, or anything. The judge strictly said DOOR-TO-DOOR! A few days leading up to my final court date, before I was getting released, my lawyer had a meeting with me to discuss rehabs that he found, and what one would fit me the best. He told me that he wasn’t able to find any with an open bed except for one, and it was a faith based program. That being my only “get out of jail free” card so to speak, I took it with no hesitation. In my head I thought: 1. I believe in God 2. I have been going to Bible study every week 3. I am genuinely interested in learning more about the Bible and reading more of it. So having to go to a faith based program didn’t seem like the worst thing to do at the time, I was actually pretty excited.
The day I get released my mom and dad come to pick me up from the jail in Auburn and as we are driving to drop me off my dad is explaining certain things to me about the program to try and give me some kind of preparation in a way. My dad has done a ton of different court ordered programs and rehabs when he was younger, so he likes to think that he knows everything. We finally pull up to the house, and it looked like you every day lower-middle class house. It was in Rancho Cordova so it wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t big enough for 9 different dudes either. As I start to get my stuff out of the car, I go to grab my pack of cigarettes, and one of the Staff members says “you can’t bring those in, they will just get thrown away so just leave them in the car if I were you” and at that moment the look on my face just dropped into a frown. What kind of program/rehab bullshit doesn’t let you smoke LEGAL cigarettes?! I leave them in the front seat, give both my parents a hug, and continue bringing my things into the garage so the staff members can search them. As I am walking up, some other dudes mom was dropping him off at the same time as me so he had to get his stuff searched as well. The staff told me that they have had people try to bring in drugs and other things before, and that can jeopardize the sobriety of everyone else in the house, so that part is understandable. As I’m waiting for them to finish going through both of our things, in front of everyone in the house mind you, the other dude I came in with continues to bitch the entire time about certain things they already told him he couldn’t bring in, that he still decided to bring with him anyway, like clothing with skulls on it, ripped clothing, any electronics, and any bible that doesn’t worship God (he had some muslim bible or something, to where they almost didnt even let him stay if he didnt let them hold onto it.). Dude was getting so defensive I thought he was about to start firing on one of the staff members, like DAMN dude!? We JUST got here and your already talkin to these people you don’t even know like that??
Once our stuff is finally done being searched, were able to go inside the house and see where we are going to sleep. Walking inside this house was pretty bad, it just smelled like BO every where, there are black spill marks all over the carpet throughout the entire house, and I don’t even know how that’s possible because food and beverages aren’t allowed anywhere else but the kitchen and the garage. The entire house is a 2 bedroom 2 bath, but they made a 3rd bedroom out of the Den next to the kitchen. Each bedroom has about 3 or more sets of twin sizes bunk beds stuffed inside them, the Den bedroom has walls made out of pinned up sheets you can see straight through, and whenever I would lay down in my assigned bed I would fall into a pit in the mattress. The pit in the mattress being the result of a 500lb man being the one to sleep there for 4 months prior to me getting there. I was also never able to figure out where the ever so settle smell of piss was coming from either, I was hoping that worst case scenario it was on the wall and not on the mattress I was laying on.
Once we got all settled in it was lights out at about 9pm because we had to be up super early, like 4am, to have morning bible study and prayer. Bible study was pretty cool, we all go around reading after one another, a specific chapter, then were go back around in a circle to find a specific scripture that stuck out to us, and we have to explain why it stuck out to us in detail. After that we had, I swear it felt like 1 1/2-2 straight hours, of individual prayer, and that consisted of everyone standing or kneeling in their own section of the garage, blaring gospel covers being sang by 12-14 year olds on Youtube, and the head staff member walking around with a scarf on his head dipping his hand in some weird old and coming over and rubbing in on your forehead as he says some prayer in a different language I didn’t understand…. So yeah, I know I am definitely not a morning person at all but I really did try to get as much out of this whole morning routine that I was able to, the only sad part about it was that there wasn’t that much there to get out of it.
Following the morning Bible study/prayer we would have Breakfast, and that was either something with huge amounts of sugar in it, or cereal with milk I wasn’t able to drink (being lactose intolerant). I swear that my first mornings breakfast was literally a giant cupcake, coffee cake, and a honey bun type thing. I was like damn what happen to some eggs and toast or something? That shits quick and bomb wtf? After Breakfast it was time to “go to work” meaning go out all day walking through neighborhoods trying to get donations from people to update the address markers on their curbs with spray paint. I guess the boy scouts, girl scouts, and a few other groups similar to those go out and also do. So everyone gets in one of the 13 seater vans that are parked in front of the house usually, and we all drive to a specific area, park the van, and split up into teams to cover more houses in the neighborhood to try and get more money. I later found out that the Mens home doing this every day and giving all that money to the church, makes them the biggest source of funding for the entire church over anyone. They make so much money the church had the men train the women’s house on how to do it also, to double the income from it. We would get out there by about 9:00-9:30am and we wouldn’t finish up until around 4:00pm-5:00pm, and that’s walking around all day long not Able to take any breaks, and running off of a PB&J and some chips we all got packed for our Lunch. People constantly thought that we were Jehovah witnesses, so that should give you an idea on how “fun” it was for me to be out there all day, ESPECIALLY not getting paid a dollar to be doing it…
Once the nightmare of “work” was over, I was hoping I’d be able to come back to the house, shower, and put on something comfortable, and pass out… Nope… As soon as we got back, we all had to hurry up and take a STRICTLY 5 minute shower, (any longer and you have to write 100 sentences out of the bible like were in middle school…) then we have to get in a suit and tie, complete with a blazer and dress shoes, to head out to Church… I always thought Church was supposed to be early morning, on Sundays only? Nope in that house we go to church every evening. It’s not like a chill relaxed church either, its the kind where people are literally catching the hold spirit and convulsing all over the place, while we would all have to stand in the front of the room with our eyes shut and hands up to god apparently. It was a lot… Especially coming from a background like mine, where my family barely ever went to church like that, and I still have yet to read 100% of the Bible! So coming from where I do and going into 100% Jesus 24/7 was just a bit much for me….
To sum up this LONG ass experience of mine…. Sadly I was only able to make it about 7 days, before I ended up leaving. Mainly because aside from the piss I would smell every night, I found out that they had Bed Bugs, Mice, and Cockroaches. Even that aside I still tried to stick it out until I had questions… Like questions about how the whole Being gay thing ties into Christianity. Like I have heard a TON of bad things, and I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to “talk the talk without walking the walk”. Once the head staff member guy told me that one day he was going to have a wife and kids, and that the homosexual urges we have, we have to resist them and its the devil that is making us attracted to men the way we think we are, and blah blah blah. That’s when I had finally had enough… Don’t get it twisted either the head staff dude was fresh out of a jock strap and pulled off center stage at Faces nightclub gay too by the way, and seeing him when I first arrived I thought that I would have someone I could relate to and hopefully establish some sort of friendship with, but once he told me that he’s been “Praying the Gay away” I was over it… So on my last day of being there I called my parents to come get me from Mather Field Light Rail Station, because it was only like a 5-10 minute walk from the house, I didn’t even wanna stay there any longer than I absolutely had to, I even left my iPad and shit there until the following day because the main director dude wasn’t there to open the safe for me when I was taking off. As I’m walking down the street enjoying the freedom of just being able to walk, it was incredible. Don’t forget that I went straight to the program from jail so I didnt get to have that “OMG I’m finally out, thank fucking god!” Feeling that everyone else usually gets to have. So I enjoyed the hell out of that walk for sure!
After leaving that program, I called my PO and explained to her everything that happened, and she was totally cool about it and just told me to keep looking for another program. I am currently on a waiting list waiting for a bed to open up anywhere in Sacramento I guess? Adult System of Care is apparently just supposed to call me as soon as they have an opening and tell me where to go. Although when I called them to see how long the waiting time was going to be they said about 2 months from the 18th of March, so we will see! I am enjoying being home and spending the much needed time with my dogs. I missed them so much. I will be posting another update after, maybe during, my experience at the next program I am going to have to go to in order to finish my 90 day sentence….
So catch you on the flip side Tumblr Hoes.
#Program #Rehab #Jail #PlacerCounty #PlacerCountyJail #VictoryOutreach #RanchoCordova #Bible #Jesus #90Days #Cockroaches #BedBugs #Rats #Mice #Urine #500lbLife
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