//kynesblog

hello, i'm ari. i make music and art and words and sometimes i find things that are unintentionally funny. this is a disorganized space for most everything i create.

[etchfo-deactivated20250303]

[kynes]

contents of my hard drive

[kynes]

your face when you realized super mario sunshine was full of racial caricatures of italians

[wikipicks]

1979–1980 Saddam Hussein makes large donations to a Detroit church and receives a key to the city.

[kynes]

wikipicks is 200 posts old!

[kynes]

dude whats your twitter, i indulged your auto tweet thing but your account isn't there

it was orangejuice_inc but i deactivated it! it might be back within the next couple months but no guarantee. you can add me on facebook if ya want tho, i'm ari there yet

[wikipicks]

A chaos magic ritual that uses videoconferencing.

[kynes]

there are probably more photos of raw steaks on my hard drive than u.s. law allows

[kynes]

my dad asked me if i wanted to go to christian summer camp. he said, "there's nothing like breaking in a good christian girl!" :/

[kynes]

im gonna sit my nude ass down on the american flag and there's nothing obana can do to stop me

[kynes]

i'm gonna have so much sex when i'm 69

[kynes]

get up drank stand up drank stand up for your drank

[kynes]

hickies shouldn't be taboo they should be worn with pride like gold metals. you did it! you won! when people see your hickies they should say "congratulations" and "i knew you would do it" and throw confetti around you

[kynes]

my mom does this thing where she walks into my room uninvited and starts picking things up and re-arranging them. to combat this i'm going to start hiding condoms under everything until she's afraid to pick anything up ever again

[kynes]

flea market bits!

[areyouexcitedforthenewflorida]

flo rida and his many undead lovers

[kynes]

found this in the notes on my phone. i wrote it after i got super stoned and visited an antique mall with my pal. the mall existed inside some other dimension, it must have; it was a never-ending series of living, breathing corridors, twisting and turning and dissolving and re-forming in a very conscious effort to never let you find the exit, or that nice scarf you passed earlier that your mom would probably like. every wall was covered in precariously balanced delicate objects, and i was dizzy and terrified that i would destroy everything with my clumsy movements. the place was full of little booths run by various ancient ladies, selling clothes and knick knacks. the ladies were wearing the same kinds of clothes that plastered the interiors of the booths, and stoned as i was, i thought at first that they were grown into the walls of the labyrinth. it was terrifying and awesome. i felt like i was in a sci-fi horror film. wrinkly monsters melted out of the walls at every turn, accosting me with evil low prices announced in raspy demon voices. it took me like three hours to buy two scarves

[kynes]