kyodesho?

[kyodesyo]

「男らしさ」「女らしさ」に縛られて、夫婦の本音がすれ違っていませんか。

本当の関係を築く鍵は、互いの中にある「もう一人の自分」を認め合うこと。

短い動画にまとめました。共感したら、ぜひフル動画もチェックしてみてください。

フル動画はYouTubeまたはTikTokで▶︎［https://youtu.be/ujOL5r5owwU?si=-LKXe_PKr8HP-oxc］［ https://www.tiktok.com/@noda_to_beiba?_r=1&_t=ZS-92ar66mwiet］

#夫婦関係 #ジェンダー #夫婦円満 #人間関係 #心理学

[kyodesyo]

お金で悩む人ほど豊かになれる可能性を秘めている。派手に稼ぐ人を羨む必要はない。本物の成功者は表に出ず、信頼と誠実さで富を築く。あなたの真面目さこそ最大の武器。今こそ人が集まる人になる時→<https://1link.jp/ikizurasa_bunseki> #お金の悩み #信頼関係 #本物の豊かさ #誠実な生き方 #人生を変える

[kyodesyo]

こだわりが強くて疲れてしまう、不安で外出できない…そんな生きづらさを「欠点」じゃなく、大切に育てて愛着を持つ方法を動画でお伝えしました。

無理に消そうとするより、自分らしい特性を味方にする視点が、心を楽にしてくれます。

引きこもり経験のある私が、自身の苦しみを乗り越えたヒントをシェアしています。

フル動画はYouTubeまたはTikTokで▶︎［https://youtu.be/F1kaWcEPF4Q?si=mhCHHXyzlVylo1f5］［https://www.tiktok.com/@noda_to_beiba?_r=1&_t=ZS-92aehC6Y7YV］

#生きづらさ #愛着 #こだわり #不安 #自己受容　

[kyodesyo]

[kyodesyo]

有田焼 秀峰作 古伊万里様式 赤絵金彩 花車文 大皿 31cm【共箱付】飾り皿 by メルカリ

有田焼 秀峰作 古伊万里様式 赤絵金彩 花車文 大皿 31cm【共箱付】飾り皿をメルカリでお得に通販、誰でも安心して簡単に売り買いが楽しめるフリマサービスです。新品/未使用品も多数、支払いはクレジットカード・キャリア決済・コンビニ・銀行ATMが利用可能で、品物が届いてから出品者に

[kyodesyo]

[kyodesyo]

59秒で止めるか、1秒待つか。この小さな選択が、衝動に流されない心を育てます。生きづらさから抜け出すヒントを動画で紹介しています。▶︎［ https://coconala.com/users/4785898 ］

#自己統制力 #衝動コントロール #習慣化 #引きこもり脱出 #生き方

[kyodesyo]

A way of thinking change to find a place in your mind while staying at home

There may be people who want to change something while being in the house now and feeling the distance from the outside world.

Or, some people may feel that even casual conversations with close people are a burden and are chasing themselves.

This sentence is written especially for those who are struggling in such a situation.

However, what I would like to tell you here is that the inside of your own heart may unknowingly create a harsher situation than reality.

Conversations with family members close to you may not actually be so bad.

Realizing that is the first and very important step towards change.

As a monk, I provide life counseling "free of charge" on the official line. We have received the concerns of many people so far. Please see the details of self-introduction and consultation flow from the profile URL, including why it is free.

If you continue to be in a state of seclusion, you may have the illusion that your thoughts are everything in the world.

In the limited space of home and limited human relationships, everything that happens is reflected hugely, and it only looks like a material to deny yourself.

Even everyday acts such as opening the refrigerator are connected with critical words, and the casual words of the family may sound like an attack on themselves.

As a result, we tend to build up the conviction that "I shouldn't be here" and "I'm a bad person".

However, if you change your perspective a little, the way you see it may change.

What your family really wants to tell you may be somewhere else.

The filter of the mind is distorting reality

We all have a "mind filter" that sees the world through past experiences and hurt memories.

The stronger this filter is, the more distorted the incoming information will be and dyed in negative colors.

For example, a family member said, "Did you sleep well today?" When you say that, some people can take it as a voice of pure concern, while others can hear it as a accusation that "I haven't done anything again all day".

In the latter case, it is not the real words themselves, but the belief that "I'm sloppy" and the guilt of "I'm sorry" add color to the words.

Noticing this filter is the first step to seeing reality as it is.

・Small training to objectively view reality

First of all, why don't you start by recording what happened to you for just a few minutes a day?

I try to write down only the facts as calmly as possible, such as "My mother sighed in front of the refrigerator" and "My father was silent while reading the newspaper".

After that, let's write about how you felt at that time, "I made you feel bad again" and "it was hard to be ignored because of my existence".

As you repeat this, you may realize that you feel differently about the same fact from day to day.

One day I was badly hurt, the other day I don't care so much.

It shows that the event itself has changed, but that your state of mind (filter) at that time has changed.

This awareness tells us that the "absolute reality" you feel is actually relative.

Imagine the background of the family's words

If you stay in seclusion for a long time, your family members also don't know how to treat them, and they feel anxious, impatient, and sometimes helpless.

There are many cases where such complicated thoughts are hidden behind the words they utter.

Words that sound like rants may actually be a manifestation of too much irritation for thinking about you or frustration that you don't know how to help.

Of course, it is true that the words themselves hurt people, and there is no intention to justify it.

However, before filling the other person's words with a single color of "hostility", just a moment is enough, so try to spread the wings of imagination, "I wonder how this person feels now."

It is a task to keep a little distance from the situation that makes you suffer and create a gap for breathing.

・The fundamental cause of communication discrepancy

In many cases, the passing between family members occurs when the same feeling of "worry" is translated into a completely different language and collides.

The family conveys the feeling of "I'm worried, I want to do something for you" into words of encouragement and questions such as "do your best" and "why don't you move".

On the other hand, the recipient interprets the words as the pressure of "I'm told that I can't do it now" and "I'm forced to make more painful efforts".

This fundamental translation error hurts each other and deepens the gap.

Just understanding this structure may make you think that you don't need to take the other person's words 100 percent as your own personality denial.

Be freed from the "thinking that should be" that chases you

"I'm already ○ years old, so I should work" "I'm a normal person, so I should go out too."

This kind of "thinking" exhausts our hearts and makes us unable to move, as if we were hitting ourselves.

This thought is to thoroughly blame oneself for not reaching the standards of society in general and comparison with others as an absolute standard.

However, the place you are in now is your own reality, which has been made by a long time and various factors are intricately intertwined.

It may be unreasonable and unnatural to measure and deny it with a single measure of "normal" in the first place.

The important thing is to start from the perspective of "what you should be", but from the "you are now".

・Get into the habit of focusing on "what you can do"

The opposite of "thinking" is the realistic question of "what can I do now".

The important thing here is not to try to link it to social achievements or big steps.

"Let's open the window curtain today and feel the light outside for 5 minutes." "If you meet your family face to face, it doesn't have to be a conversation, so let's nod."

Such a small act that is not appreciated by anyone and seems to be of no use is the lubricant that relaxes the frozen mind and body.

If you make this a "goal you have to do", you will tie yourself up again.

Please think of it as a kind proposal to yourself with a light feeling of "I wish I could do it".

At the end of the day, even if you can't achieve it, let's start by acknowledging yourself for having that feeling.

Change begins with "one millimeter", not "one step"

Society often says, "Let's take the first step."

However, for a long closed mind, the "step" can be too huge and can be accompanied by the fear of jumping off a cliff.

Instead, I propose to reduce the unit of change to "one millimeter".

A millimeter of change is the accumulation of "what can be done" mentioned earlier.

And it is more important than anything else that you properly recognize and taste that millimeter of movement.

Others may not notice the change.

But you, the person who made the change, realize it and acknowledge the meaning.

This process of self-approval slowly but surely creates a foundation in you that "this is fine".

・Confidence does not come before action

We often think, "Let's move when we have confidence."

However, the order is reversed.

Confidence is an emotion that comes with the accumulation of experience, even if it is small, as a result of action, even if it is small.

At first, it doesn't matter if it's forced or just the shape.

Open the window and take a deep breath, take a short walk, look at the website of your hobby, and the fact that you "choose and executed" such casual actions itself will be the energy for the next small action.

This is called the state of "steadily doing what you can do in your own way".

Continuing this state is not given from the outside, but leads to the real confidence that springs from within yourself.

In the end

So far, in the midst of the hardship of seclusion, I have noticed the filter created by my own heart and thought about how to look at reality from a slightly different angle.

Relationships with family and harsh self-esteem do not change immediately.

However, just one more perspective can be seen, and the same situation may begin to show a different color than before.

Parents probably want to help you.

That thought is sometimes clumsy and only expressed in a way that hurts you.

There is no need to force yourself to move big.

From now on, from this moment on, I will try to let go of just one word to blame myself.

Or try to interpret the family's words from a different angle for a moment.

The accumulation of such a millimeter of change will eventually become a solid step and the moment will surely come that will lead you to a new place.

Until that day comes, please look at yourself with a little more gentle eyes.

#Home #Where the heart is #Way of thinking #Reclusion #Relationship with family

[kyodesyo]

People who feel that every day is hard for some reason want to know the habits of thinking and how to relax them

If you spend your days with a hard time living and a sense of obstruction, only the worries and issues in front of you are huge, and the world may feel very small.

Everything will be concentrated on that one point, and you will often fall into a suffocating feeling.

At such a time, we tend to be impatient and blame ourselves for not doing well, saying, "I have to solve the problem."

However, I want you to stop for a moment and think about it.

As long as you are a human being, there is not a day when you do not have any worries or challenges.

The habit of thinking that makes it easy to feel difficult to live may be that you are captivated by just one "bad thing" and conclude that everything else is "done".

Today, I would like to talk about the clues to get out of such a whirlpool of black and white thinking.

As a monk, I provide life counseling "free of charge" on the official line.

We have received the concerns of many people so far.

Please see the details of self-introduction and consultation flow from the profile URL, including why it is free.

The mechanism of thinking when swallowed up by emotions

When our mood is sinking, there is a certain filter on our minds.

It can be called a "filter of negative thinking", which leads to a tendency to pick up only negative elements from reality and ignore other neutral facts and small good events.

For example, at the end of the day, when you feel that "there was nothing good today", was it really a hundred percent, nothing good factor?

Fragments of everyday life, such as a bite that felt delicious, pleasant sunlight coming in through the window, and a little contact from someone, are cut off as "meaningless things" by the filter.

When this mechanism works, reality looks more and more faded, and eventually comes to the grand conclusion that "everything is not going well".

・The moment when negative assumptions distort reality

When we feel that it is difficult to live, we are often bound by "thinking that should be done" or "thinking all or nothing".

Thoughts such as "I should have done my best, but I can't do it" and "Everything is a failure because it's not going well here" runs around in my head unconsciously.

These thinking patterns are as if you are looking at the world through a black and white lens.

The color gradient is lost, and things can only be judged by "complete success" or "complete failure".

This thinking is very harsh on yourself, and even a little stumble makes you take it as a big setback, and it takes away the energy itself to move forward.

The first step is to be able to gently objectively view this circuit that chases yourself without realizing it.

・How to distance yourself to look at yourself objectively

So, what should I do to get a little distance from that whirlpool?

One of the effective ways is to "record" your thoughts and emotions.

I will try to write down the thoughts that are spinning around in my head on paper or digital notebooks.

If you have the feeling that "I couldn't have a good conversation with people today", try to write down facts that are not directly related to emotions, such as "but I was able to take a little walk in the nice weather" and "I drank a hot drink".

This work has the effect of freeing up the capacity of the mind by letting your thoughts out, and at the same time realizing how focused your vision was on one point.

The written words act like a mirror that quietly reflects the turbulent inner side.

The simple action of "counting" opens the field of vision

Emotions overwhelm us with their "weight".

A single painful event has the power to control everything of the day and haze even the good memories of the past.

What I would like to suggest to escape from the control of this "weight" is a simple method of "counting".

"How many good things happened today?" "How many moments were there to spend a normal time?" Try to focus on "numbers" rather than weight.

No evaluation or ranking is required.

It doesn't matter if it's a very small thing, such as "It was a song that I liked to listen to while commuting", "The preparation of meals was smoother than usual", "The color of the sky was beautiful".

Put them in the category of "good things" and start counting them.

・How to balance that numbers teach you

When you start counting, you realize something.

That is, even if you don't feel well, a day that consists of only "bad things" is actually extremely rare.

At first, there may be only two or three items listed in the "good things" category.

However, if you start looking consciously, you will be able to find that there were more than you imagined, "well, what you could do normally" and "moments that you could spend without any particular problems".

"Oh, after all, there were so many good things today." "In addition to that, there was also such a peaceful time."

The moment I realize that, the scales in my heart begin to balance a little.

The fact that everything was not dark lights up a faint light.

Numbers are not cold, but sometimes bring separation and order to chaotic emotions, and can also be a tool that gives the heart a quiet warmth.

・Rediscover the daily value of "normal"

We often pursue only special "good days" and tend to underestimate "normal days" when we can spend peacefully without any particular problems.

However, in the midst of feeling difficult to live, the fact that "I was able to live normally" itself may be a great achievement.

The time spent without being attacked by strong anxiety, the small event that I was able to deal with without panicking, the moment when I was not overly exhausted by interacting with others - these are all solid "normal" evidences.

It is a waste to ignore them without counting them as "natural".

The accumulation of "normal" is the foundation of a down-to-earth life.

The task of counting is also an opportunity to teach you again the value of this "normal" that is often overlooked.

The habit of slowly rewriting the habit of thinking

Even if you get a new perspective once, the habit of thinking that has been ingrained for many years may not change immediately.

You don't have to force yourself to be positive or deny negative emotions themselves.

The important thing is to gradually develop the habit of picking up and observing the automatic thoughts that spring up within you ("failed again" and "it won't work anyway").

Is that thought the truth that expresses all reality?

Or is it just one interpretation created by fatigue and past experiences?

Asking questions itself creates a small gap between thoughts and yourself.

The gap is a space to let through the new wind and see different possibilities.

・Mindfulness to get through the wave of automatic thought

When negative thoughts come in like a flood, the most difficult thing is to "not be swallowed up by the flow".

The approach that is useful for that is the idea of mindfulness.

There is no need to think hard about this, it can be said that it is just an exercise to pay attention to what is happening "now, here and now".

When I have a strong sense of self-criticism, I try to recognize the thought itself as a third party, saying, "Oh, now I can't do it."

Return consciousness to breathing, and listen carefully to the feeling that the soles of your feet are touching the floor and the sounds around you.

This act acts as a brake that temporarily stops the runaway train, which is chained from thought to emotion, from emotion to the next thought.

Thoughts are thoughts, not themselves - it is training to experience that.

・Self-affirmation that accumulates small "do-it"

Even without great achievements or clear success, you can develop a sense of self-affirmation.

The key is to look at the fact that it is only a small "do" and acknowledge it in your heart.

"I didn't have the energy to go out today, but I was able to get out of bed and open the window."

"I was afraid to talk to people, but I was able to have a small conversation with the clerk while shopping."

We do not cut off these facts as "natural" or "no big deal", and firmly recognize them as "what we can do".

It is an act of sowing the seeds of trust.

This accumulation will create a foundation for you to gradually shift your view of yourself from "a bad self who can't do anything" to "there are things you can do, imperfect but you are doing your best".

Increase the sensitivity of small happiness buried in everyday life

When we find it difficult to live, we sometimes spend our days in a state close to survival instinct.

I am always wary of some kind of threat, I am full of protecting myself, and other senses tend to be paralyzed.

If this situation continues, the sensitivity to feel the small joy and peace scattered in daily life will inevitably decrease.

In order to increase sensitivity, it is effective to consciously stretch the antenna and practice putting into words what you feel.

Through the senses, you can re-touch the reality that is here and now.

The warmth of the shower water touching the skin, the smell of a freshly washed towel, and the temperature and taste of the drink.

These sensory experiences are not regrets about the past or anxiety about the future, but are certain to exist "now and here".

By consciously picking up such moments even a few times a day, the nutrition of the mind will be replenished little by little.

・How to return to "now" through the five senses

When thoughts wander through the past and the future and free themselves from reality, it is your body and five senses that are most sure to bring you back to the "present".

Vision, hearing, touch, taste, and smell - these senses always work in the present tense.

I'll stop for a moment and count the number of colors of the scenery I can see.

I will listen carefully and just listen to the sound I hear without criticizing or evaluating.

I will try to focus on the texture of what I touch with the palm of my hand.

This kind of behavior brings silence to a single mind full of distractions.

It can be said to be a kind of meditation, but it doesn't have to be formal.

At any moment in your daily life, you can seize the opportunity to get out of the whirlpool of thought just by paying attention to one of the five senses for just a few dozen seconds.

・Gratitude enriches the soil of the heart

The word "thank you" may sometimes feel pressure.

If you believe that you have to feel great gratitude, it will become a burden.

What I would like to recommend here is to look for gratitude for very small and trivial things, just like the "counting" work earlier.

I will also pay attention to seemingly natural things such as "I was able to wake up safely today", "I can drink clean water" and "I can have a quiet time".

The object of gratitude is not only people, but also things, situations, and nature.

This act reminds me of the very obvious but often lost fact that I am not completely isolated, but am supported by various things.

It is a practice that shifts the mind's tendency to focus on "inadequacy" and "deficiency" just a little bit in the direction of noticing "what already exists".

In the end

The days when life is difficult is certainly painful and suffocating.

The feeling of walking under the sky covered with thick clouds will almost crush you again and again.

I hope that this sentence will be an opportunity for a single ray of light to shine through the gap in the clouds.

You don't have to try to change everything at once.

Remove the filter of black and white thinking and count things.

Try to observe the thoughts that spring up automatically from a little distance.

And feel the "now" through the five senses.

None of these little actions are magic that promises dramatic change.

However, by consciously repeating it even for a few minutes every day, the state of mind changes very slowly but surely without realizing it.

It is not to suddenly open the door of the hard and closed heart, but to create a little gap and pass through a new wind.

In today's day, I hope there will be even one moment when you realize "Oh, I was able to do this" or "This happened".

I sincerely believe that there is a sky that clears up little by little at the end of that accumulation.

#Every day is hard #Thinking habits #Mental health #Stress relief #Self-improvement

[kyodesyo]

https://room.rakuten.co.jp/room_ccde690e12/1700360955097205

冷え性なので、足元用に使ってみました。

スイッチを入れるとわりと早くあったかくなって、寒い朝や夜に助かっています。

フリース素材がやわらかくて、触っていて気持ちいいです。

サイズも大きすぎず、小さすぎずで、机の下やベッドの足元にちょうどいいです。

温度調整が細かくできて、熱くなりすぎないのが安心でした。

タイマーがあって、消し忘れを気にしなくていいのも便利です。

軽いので持ち運びもしやすく、場所を選ばず使えています。

電気代も気にならず、この値段なら満足です。

寒い季節の冷え対策におすすめだと思います。

#ホットマット #電気毛布 #フットウォーマー #冷え対策 #冬アイテム #省エネ家電 #楽天購入品 #おうち時間充実 #スマート家電 #オシャレ家電 #湿気対策 #時短家事

[kyodesyo]

We lose sight of ourselves like cows love their tails

There is a saying in the convenience goods of the Hokke Sutra, "I want to give up suffering with suffering". Trying to escape from suffering, it creates new suffering. This is what we mortals look like. Buddhism has a keen insight into the nature of us who are trapped by self-love, have lost sight of ourselves, and have lost sight of the truth. As a monk, I provide life counseling "free of charge" on the official line. We have received the concerns of many people so far. Please see the details of self-introduction and consultation flow from the profile URL, including why it is free.

1. The appearance of an ordinary man who is deeply obsessed with the five desires

・The metaphor of loving a cow's tail

The convenient items of the Hokke Sutra vividly depict the appearance of us mortals. It is an expression that "wearing deeply to the five desires is like loving the tail of a cow". A mare is a cow with long hair that lives on the Tibetan plateau and other places. This cow takes great care of its tail, and it is said that if its tail gets caught in something, it will not move from the spot even if it loses its life. Objectively, life should be much more important than the tail. However, the mare loses sight of what is really important because of its obsession with its tail. Buddhism points out that we humans have the same stupidity. The five desires are the desires sought by the five sensory organs of the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and body. I want to see beautiful things, I want to hear good sounds, I want to smell good smells, I want to eat delicious food, I want to taste a comfortable touch. These desires themselves are natural, but there is a problem with being deeply attached to them. Just as a cow loves its tail, we are attached to our desires and can't let go of them.

・A state of covering oneself with love

The sutra continues, "I cover myself with love, and I go blind and have no place to see." Love here does not refer to affection in the modern sense, but to obsession and thirst. A strong obsession with what you want, on the contrary, covers yourself. Just as you can't see anything when you put a cloth on your eyes, if the cloth of obsession covers your heart, you can't see the truth. You will become blind. In this state, you can't see things as they are. I see everything through the filter of my own desires. It can only be judged by the criteria of "whether this is a gain or a loss for me" and "where this will make me happy or uncomfortable". The expression that you cover yourself has a very deep meaning. Instead of being blindfolded by someone from outside, you are blindfolded by yourself. Without this awareness, you can't take off the blindfold.

2. Being trapped by ego and losing sight of the truth

・The pitfalls of loving yourself

It is said that the reason why ordinary people suffer in the confusion of life is because they are trapped by self-love. Self-love refers to self-attaction and self-centered attachment. It's not a bad thing to take care of yourself. Rather, it is more problematic to treat yourself poorly. However, the problem here is not to take care of yourself, but to be obsessed with yourself. Your thoughts are right, your feelings are natural, and your desires should be fulfilled. Self-love is to stick to this kind of self-centered perspective. If you are trapped by self-love, it will be difficult to understand the perspective of others. You will not be able to accept people who have different opinions from you. You will feel strong dissatisfaction and anger at things that don't go your way. This condition actually makes you suffer.

・I don't realize I'm doing something stupid

The scriptures express that cows are doing stupid things like loving their tails. This word "stupid" is by no means meant to look down on people. It means you don't notice. The cow doesn't think his actions are stupid. I believe that it is natural to protect the tail. Likewise, we don't realize that our obsession is stupid. Rather, I believe that it is right to try to satisfy your own needs. I think it's important to protect your opinion. However, if you look at it objectively, that obsession is tormenting you. Teaching using metaphors is to see yourself objectively. If you listen to the story of a cow, you think, "It's certainly stupid." However, it is very difficult to realize that it is your own appearance. This awareness is the first step in Buddhism.

3. The danger of entering the evil view without seeking Buddhism

・The attitude of not seeking the laws of the Buddhas and the Bodhisattvas

The scriptures continue to preach, "Do not seek the laws of all Buddhas and all Bodhisattvas". It means that you don't want to seek the teachings of Buddha or Bodhisattva. Why don't you try to ask for it? That's because I believe that my own ideas and values are enough. When you are trapped in self-love, you feel that your view is absolute. I don't think it's necessary to teach other people, let alone profound teachings like Buddhism. I think, "I can make the right decision," and "There is no problem with my way of life." This attitude is actually a big problem. Seeking Buddhism begins with recognizing your own limitations. You need to be humble that you may not be able to see the truth alone. However, if you are trapped in self-love, you cannot have this humility. As a result, we move away from the teachings of truth.

・Deeply go deep into the evil view

The expression "deep into the evil view" continues. Evil view is a wrong view and a way of thinking that defies the truth. As a result of not seeking Buddhism, people fall into various evil views. The view that "life is for the pursuit of pleasure" is also an evil view. The idea that "it is normal for the strong to win" is also one of the evil views. "If you die, there will be nothing, so just enjoy the present" is also included in evil views. These ideas may seem reasonable at first glance. However, from the point of view of Buddhism, it is a misjudgment of the truth. The problem is to go "deep" into the evil view. If it is only a shallow touch, it is easy to correct. However, if you go deep, it will be very difficult to get out of it. Because I believe my wrong ideas with certainty. Those who are trapped in evil can't accept the right teachings even if they hear them. Because I believe that my ideas are right, I reject other views.

4. The contradiction of trying to abandon suffering with suffering

・Struggling to escape from suffering

The phrase "I want to let go of suffering with suffering" contains a very deep insight. It means to use suffering to throw away suffering. At first glance, it sounds like a contradictory expression, but this is our reality. People want to escape from suffering. This wish itself is natural. However, the way to escape is often wrong. There are people who run away from alcohol because they don't want to feel pain. You may be able to forget the suffering for a while, but eventually a new suffering called dependence will be born. Because loneliness is painful, there are people who try to get involved with people. However, an unhealthy relationship will create more anguish. Because poverty is painful, there are people who try to get money by no means. As a result, you will break the law and suffer even more. All of these are the appearance of "I want to let go of suffering with suffering".

・A vicious circle that continues to carry new anguish

The more you struggle to escape from suffering, the more new suffering will be born. This becomes a vicious circle and continues to bind us. Because of the pain of wanting to be recognized, I force myself to stretch and raise my standard of living. As a result, you will be in debt and suffer financially. Some people run to excessive plastic surgery because of fear of aging. However, without being satisfied, surgery can be repeated one after another, which can damage your health. Some people are obsessed with various health methods because of their fear of death. It's good to take care of your health, but if it becomes an obsession, it will create another suffering. In order to get out of this vicious circle, a fundamental change of perspective is necessary. It is important to understand the nature of suffering, not to escape from suffering. What Buddhism teaches is not to deny suffering or to endure it. It is to determine the root cause of why suffering occurs.

5. The reality of us living in pain

・A life that walks with anguish

"While suffering, we are still carrying anguish, and we are the ones who are struggling to escape from it." These words simply express the appearance of us mortals. Being snamed means being repeatedly tormented. It does not end with one suffering, but suffering comes again and again. Even so, we have to live. I will continue my daily life despite suffering. I go to work, spend time with my family, meet my friends, and do various activities. Even if you seem to be living a normal life on the surface, there is always some kind of suffering deep in your heart. Financial anxiety, relationship worries, health worries, fear of the future. These anguishes will never disappear. Even if one problem is solved, a new problem will arise. This is the reality of life.

・Still try to escape

Even though we have anguish, we continue to try to escape from it. I will try to make it easier somehow without giving up. This attitude is precious in a sense. The obsession with living and the desire for a better state are the essential parts of human beings. But at the same time, this attempt often goes in the wrong direction. As I mentioned earlier, it is because I try to throw away the suffering with suffering. I choose a temporary escape, not a fundamental solution. I try to deal with it superficially without facing the real cause. Then, what should I do? The answer to Buddhism is clear. It is to realize the root cause of egolove and let it go. It is to recognize the obsession with the five desires and gradually reduce it. It is to seek Buddhism and get out of evil views. These are by no means easy. However, this is the only way out of the vicious circle of suffering.

6. Lastly

The appearance of ordinary people depicted by convenience items in the Hokke Sutra is exactly our own appearance. Just as cows love their tails, we are trapped in our own obsession. I cover myself with a cloth called egolove, and I can't see the truth. And trying to escape from suffering, it continues to create new suffering. It is by no means easy to face this reality. Admitting your stupidity is hard for everyone. However, this awareness is the first step towards change. If you don't realize that you are trapped in ego love, you can't get out of it. If you don't realize that you are deeply obsessed with the five desires, you can't reduce that obsession. If you don't realize that you're falling into evil, you can't learn the right way to see it. The teachings of Buddhism confront us with a harsh reality. But it's not to blame us. It is a mercy to know the truth and be freed from it. Buddha shows us the way to live in pain. Instead of abandoning suffering with suffering, he understands the root cause of suffering and teaches you how to get rid of it. Listen to this teaching and put it into practice little by little. That is the way to be free from suffering in the true sense. May your life be gradually freed from the captivity of ego. And I sincerely hope that you will open your eyes to see the truth and walk your days with a pure heart.

#Cow #Self-love #Anguish #Buddhism #Obsession

[kyodesyo]

The true self that can be seen by letting go of the self

We usually look at the world, judge, and act with ourselves as the center.

However, what if this idea of "I am the main body" is actually the root of confusion and suffering?

The profound teachings of Buddhism teach that by letting go of your obsession with yourself and surrendering yourself to the world as it is, your true self will appear.

As a monk, I provide life counseling "free of charge" on the official line.

We have received the concerns of many people so far.

Please see the details of self-introduction and consultation flow from the profile URL, including why it is free.

Table of contents

The essential difference between hesitation and enlightenment

What is the state of the Buddhas?

The world seen from a selfless point of view

The meaning of letting go of self-obsession

The path led to the world of enlightenment

In the end

The essential difference between hesitation and enlightenment

・Confusedness created by a self-centered worldview

In our daily lives, most decisions are made based on the criteria of "good or bad for ourselves".

Looking at the world from this perspective, it feels as if all events revolve around you, but Buddhism teaches that this self-centered view is the true nature of hesitation.

The attitude of trying to demonstrate the environmental world as the main body results in trapping us in suffering and worries.

Because the world never moves the way we want.

Whenever there is a gap between our expectations and aspirations and reality, we are dominated by emotions such as anger, sadness, and anxiety.

All of these emotions are born from the self-centered desire that "I should be like this" and "I want the world to be like this".

Buddhism preaches that this attachment to the ego is the cause of repeated reincarnation, and that it is necessary to let go of this attachment in order to be free from suffering.

・Enlightenment gained by deepening the environmental world

So, what kind of experience is enlightenment?

Enlightenment is the experience that the environmental world deepens and demonstrates oneself in it, rather than grasping the world as the main body.

Even after listening to this explanation, it may be difficult to understand with your head.

However, if you actually experience it through meditation and training, you will clearly understand its meaning.

The feeling that one's existence is melting into the whole world, the state where the boundary between oneself and the world is gone, and that everything is in one big flow, that is the world of enlightenment.

When you reach this point, the pain of not going your way will disappear.

Because the concept of "doing what you want" itself is no longer meaningful.

When the flow of the world and yourself become one, there is no way to resist or obsession.

What is the state of the Buddhas?

・Awareness without the awareness of the Buddha

When the Buddhas are exactly the Buddhas, they do not have the awareness that "they are Buddhas".

This teaching seems contradictory at first glance, but it is actually an important point that expresses the essence of enlightenment.

Beings who have gained true enlightenment are not even aware that they are enlightened.

Because it is in a state that transcends such discerning thinking.

The moment you think, "I am a Buddha," there is a paradoxical truth that the ego appears again and moves away from enlightenment.

This teaching is a very important guide for us to practice.

If the desire for enlightenment is too strong, it will turn away from enlightenment.

This is because the strong desire to "gain enlightenment" itself is an expression of the ego and a form of obsession.

Therefore, it can be said that the path to enlightenment begins with letting go of the search for enlightenment.

・The wisdom of the Buddhas who realize the confusion

Buddhas are beings who realize confusion.

This means that instead of denying or eliminating hesitation, you have the ability to deeply understand the nature of hesitation and turn it into wisdom.

We sentient beings are in a state of confusion while being in enlightenment.

In other words, even though everyone has a Buddhist nature, they live in confusion without realizing it.

The Buddhas fully understand the relationship between confusion and enlightenment, and have the wisdom to transform confusion itself into enlightenment.

That is why we can guide lost sentient beings like us.

The teaching that hesitation is not the opposite of enlightenment, but is part of enlightenment, and that only through hesitation can we understand the depth of enlightenment gives us great hope.

The fact that you are lost now also means that you are on the way to enlightenment.

The world seen from a selfless point of view

・The foothold that everything is nothing

One of the fundamental teachings of Buddhism is "selflessness".

This is to stand in the position that everything is nothing.

If you stand in this position, there is no beauty or dirt, there is no life or death, and there is no discrimination or discrimination.

This selfless position fundamentally overturns our usual values.

In our daily lives, we judge things by good and bad, and separate them according to our own preferences.

However, in a selfless position, such discernment itself becomes meaningless.

Of course, there is no such thing as "myself" that you are thinking about now.

When you reach this understanding, you can see how empty your obsession with yourself is.

What we think of as "self" is actually only a temporary appearance created by various conditions.

Countless factors such as the environment in which I was born, the education I received, the experience I have accumulated, and the influence of the people around me are combined to form the "I" I am today.

・Enlightenment opened in a world of indiscriminate

If you stand in a selfless position, you don't have to be the main body and try to gain enlightenment.

If you don't stick to yourself and make yourself nothing, you will naturally carry things from the world.

At first glance, this looks like a passive attitude, but it is actually the most active way of life.

Because by letting go of the resistance of the ego, you can surrender yourself to the great flow of the universe.

When enlightenment opens up in a world of indiscriminateness, not in a world of discernment, then your true self will appear.

This original self is not a conditioned "self", but an essential existence that is one with the universe itself.

The state of being connected to all beings and in harmony with the laws of the universe, that is the original self.

When we reach the state of indiscriminateness, all conflicts and conflicts disappear.

You will transcend the dualistic thinking of good and evil, beauty and ugliness, life and death, and realize that everything is perfect as it is.

The meaning of letting go of self-obsession

・The structure of suffering created by obsession

Much of the suffering we feel in our daily lives comes from our self-obsession.

The stronger the feeling of "I want to be like this" and "I should be like this", the more you will suffer from the gap with reality.

This obsession is not only for material things.

I become obsessed with my own way of thinking, values, and even my own emotions.

I am also unknowingly obsessed with the emotional state of "I'm angry" and "I'm sad".

Obsession with emotions is particularly troublesome.

Because emotions are inherently flowing, not fixed.

However, we try to possess our emotions as "our own" and become obsessed with them.

Then, emotions that should have flowed and disappeared naturally continue to remain due to obsession and make us suffer.

Buddhism teaches that this obsession is the cause of reincarnation.

As long as there is obsession, we will never be freed from suffering by repeating life and death.

・The original appearance that appears by melting the ego

Letting go of self-obsession is also melting the ego.

This is not to erase yourself, but to reveal your true self.

As ice melts into water, the fixed ego dissolves, and the fluid and free original appearance appears.

What we usually think of as "our own" is actually just a temporary appearance created by various conditions.

However, beyond these conditional factors, the original self exists.

This original self is one with the universe itself and is connected to all beings.

By letting go of the obsession, this original appearance will appear.

When your original appearance appears, your relationship with the world will fundamentally change.

Instead of doing something to the world, you will feel the deep joy of being with the world and being part of the world.

The path led to the world of enlightenment

・A way of life that surrenders to the natural flow

In order to be led to the world of enlightenment, it is important to surrender yourself to the natural flow, not to try your best to accomplish something.

This does not mean being lazy, but living in harmony with the laws of the universe.

We usually try to control things by our own will.

However, in reality, what we can control is limited.

Many things, such as the weather, the behavior of others, and the social situation, are moving beyond our will.

By accepting this reality and focusing on what you can do, but living a life that leaves to the natural flow of results, there will be no unnecessary resistance and peace will come to your heart.

Giving up is different from giving up.

Rather, by trusting the great wisdom of the universe and letting go of the judgment of your small ego, you will be guided by a greater power.

Instead of swimming against the flow of the river, it is a way of life that adjusts the direction while riding the flow.

・Conditions for enlightenment to bloom naturally

Enlightenment is not acquired through hard work, but blooms naturally.

Just as conditions such as appropriate soil, water, light, and temperature are necessary for flowers to bloom, proper conditions are also necessary for enlightenment to bloom.

The condition is to let go of your self-obsession first.

And it is to cultivate a compassionate heart for all beings.

In addition, it is to always be aware in your daily life and cherish this moment.

When these conditions are met, enlightenment will naturally blossom.

It can come suddenly, or it can gradually deepen.

In any case, it is important to surrender yourself to the natural flow, not to force it.

Waiting for the flowering of enlightenment does not mean just waiting without doing anything.

It is important to prepare the conditions for enlightenment to blossom through daily training and practice.

And it is required to leave it to nature to decide when the flowers bloom.

In the end

Understanding the relationship between hesitation and enlightenment enriches our lives.

By getting out of the self-centered worldview and experiencing a sense of unity with everything, you can get true peace.

In your daily life, start by letting go of your obsession with yourself little by little.

You don't have to ask for perfection.

However, it is important to cherish this moment and have a feeling of surrendering yourself to the natural flow.

By doing so, the world of enlightenment will come closer to you.

Don't be in a hurry, accept yourself as you are, and use the teachings of Buddhism in your daily life.

#Enlightenment is #Letting go of self #Selflessness #Buddhist teachings #Peace of mind

[kyodesyo]

長年の寝酒で壊れた身体と向き合い、離脱症状を覚悟した瞬間から人生は動き出す。

苦しみは罰ではなく回復の通過点。

本来の自分を取り戻すための道のりを語りました。

フル動画はYouTubeまたはTikTokで▶︎［https://youtu.be/jdgT2ivkzhg?si=8PScnstgDJPlASGm］［https://www.tiktok.com/@noda_to_beiba?_r=1&_t=ZS-92Ycm6gixAm］

#アルコール依存症 #離脱症状 #断酒 #睡眠障害 #回復

[kyodesyo]

[kyodesyo]

夢は心の奥にしまい込んだ感情や葛藤を映し出す鏡のようなもの。

過去の価値観を手放し、新しい自分へ進むサインとして現れることがあります。

今回の動画では、その象徴を丁寧に読み解きました。

フル動画はYouTubeまたはTikTokで▶︎［https://youtu.be/czeHbJLQyXg?si=rMwgQV9XIwsRC9Ak］［https://www.tiktok.com/@noda_to_beiba?_r=1&_t=ZS-92YaHaMcnx9］

#夢分析 #深層心理 #自己理解 #生きづらさ #人生相談

[kyodesyo]

[kyodesyo]